A Lord Loss mickey take where Lord Loss' Mother comes to visit :D Now we all know the deal with mothers of single people. Constantly trying to pair them up with people. And it just so happens that Grubbs is in the room at this very time!

Oh and if there are any Demonata artists out there, I would LOVE to see your version of what Lord Loss' mother should look like!


Lord Loss had Grubbs Grady right where he wanted him. Pinned down, his hands ready to rip down and tear out his throat. He had managed to kidnap Grubbs right from under his Uncles nose and was just about finish him once and for all, getting his revenge for causing him so much humiliation, when a loud and high pitched voice rang through out the room.

"LORD LOSSYYYYYY!"

"What... The hell... was that..." Grubbs gasped, looking around the room.

"Oh God now... Please no..." Lord Loss whimpered, letting go of Grubbs and stepping back in horror.

Grubbs blinked and frowned, he prepared to judge whether this person was a friend of his or a foe. Either way, if they were scaring Lord Loss this much then they had to be powerful...

Or not.

A woman walked into the room. At least he thought she was a woman. She looked almost exactly like Lord Loss apart from a few minor details. She was not as dark a red, she was not bleeding, she had a large clump of classic grey curly hair on her head, light pink slip stick, hoop earings, and carrying a bright yellow purse in one of her many clammy hands.

"Oh Lord Lossy!" she darted over and wrapped all arms around Lord Loss, swinging him from side to side despite the fact that she only reached his chest snakes.

... It was then Grubbs noticed every single snake coming out of the womans chest each had lip stick and grey hair on there small heads...

"Mother... What... Are... You... Doing... Here?" Lord Loss muffled voice came as he tried to keep a smile forced into place.

"I came to see my favourite son!" she beamed, "Oh, it is so good to see you, aw let me look at that face of yours." she slapped hands either side of Lord Loss's face and pressed together, staring at him. "Oh, someone isn't brushing his teeth. They're going all gray, darling."

"They're naturally gray, mother." Lord Loss grumbled, trying to pull his face free.,

The woman stepped back and beamed, then noticed Grubbs.

"Oh I am sorry, I didn't realize you had a friend round..." she faced Grubbs and smiled, "Hello, I'm Mother Loss."

"... Grubbs..." Grubbs just managed to squeak, his chest was clenched tight as he fought to keep the laughter inside. The shock of Lord Loss having a mother seemed to help.

"... Oh my!" Mother Loss gasped, "Oh I am so sorry." she turned to Lord Loss and smiled, "You never told me you had a boyfriend."

Grubbs laughter died that moment.

"WHAT?" Lord Loss shrieked, "NO! No! No! No! No! No!"

"In fact, I don't recall you ever even telling me you came out of the closet." Mother Loss sighed, ignoring him. "Does your brother know? I will be very upset to find out I am the last to know."

Brother?

"I AM NOT GAY!" Lord Loss shouted, "Mother! He is my emeny! You're embarrassing me!" he moaned.

"No need to shout, honey, I'm not deaf." Mother Loss frowned, then beamed, "Now, Grubbs. I have to say it is so nice to meet you, but I do hope you and my son are being sa-"

Lord Loss slapped his hands over his mothers mouth just as the bile rose in Grubbs' throat.

Forcing her to turn around, Lord Loss grabbed either of her shoulders and leaned down. "Mother... I assure you... Young Grubitsch and I are NOT an item."

"Oh... Well that's a shame, he seems so nice." Mother Loss looked and Grubbs and smiled, "Why don't you ask him out then."

"MOTHER!" Lord Loss moaned.

"Oh! Where is Vein, I brought her a chew toy." she pulled out a squeaking ball and beamed, squeaking it in her hand.

"For the last time. Vein may be part dog, but she is wild! She does not like playing with silly little-" Lord Loss began in a groan.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Vein appeared and began to jump around at Mother Loss' feet, eyes never leaving the ball.

Lord Loss sighed and let his face fall down into one of his hands, covering his eyes and groaning loudly. He wished very much he could block out the sounds of Mother Loss telling Vein to "fetch" and then calling her a "very good girl".

"Mother... Please..." Lord Loss moaned.

"Go on, Grubbs." Mother Loss said, ignoring her son and holding the ball out to Grubbs. "Give it a go."

Grubbs blinked, saw Lord Loss' eye twitch, shrugged and took the ball. "Here Vein, here girl, fetch!"

Vein darted after the ball so fast she trampled on her brother, Artery.

"STOP IT!" Lord Loss shouted, snatching the ball up and pulling it apart.

Vein stopped at his feet, her eyes growing wide and watery, her lips dropping into a frown. She whimpered as she watched the remainder of her ball drop down to the ground, even the squeaker was crushed into a weak hissing sound.

"OH GO AND CHASE YOUR TAIL!" Lord Loss bellowed.

Vein stared at them. Shrugged. And began to chase her tail in front of him.

"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!"

"So Grubbs..." Mother Loss went on, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm not gay." Grubbs stated.

"Because you like the kind of boy to have a boyfriend."

"I'm not gay."

"And if you don't have a boyfriend-"

"I'm not gay."

"Then you could also date my Lord Lossy!" she beamed.

"I'm not... WHAT?" Grubbs jumped up, "Ew! No! I mean... NO!"

"I know he isn't much to look at-"

"MOTHER!"

"But he is a sweetie deep down. Once, when he was a baby, his older sister-" sister? "-pushed him over and he bawled his eyes out of hours!" Mother Loss giggled.

"MOTHER! PLEEEEEEEEEASE!"

"It took me forever to finally get him potty trained. When he did he came and told me every time he went to the toilet." she laughed."

"Someone... Kill me now..." Lord Loss whimpered.

"So how about it, Grubbs... Want to have a lovely mother-in-law?" Mother Loss beamed.

Grubbs stared at her. Then at Lord Loss. Then spun around and made a run for it, screaming as loudly as he could "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"... Hmmm, did he have some place to be?" Mother Loss blinked.

"No. He just ran away." Lord Loss sighed and grumbled, "Lucky."

"What was that?"

"Nothing mummy!"