Hello denizens of the Durarara! fandom! How are you? I'm doing fine myself. As you can tell, I'm new here in this section. And I like to point crap like that out by annoying the crud out of people who actually bother to read these ANs… Yeah…

What I have before you is probably the first ever fanfiction about nothing in particular. Yes, this fic will basically be about random shit happening. No main plot, no major conflicts; it'll be just like some of Narita Ryohgo's other works.

And there is in fact a reason why there is no plot. Simply to put: I made this Durarara! fic for the sake of making a Durarara! fic.

Enjoy the train wreck! ;D

Durarararararara ? ! ? !

Chapter I: Du

"Alright, how about this," the enthusiastic voice of a young woman chimed in the dark Akihabara alley. "Shizuo beats Izaya to a bloody pulp one day and cripples him up so badly that even he starts to feel guilty." She clasped her hands together in a sign of bliss. "And for weeks on end, Shizu-chan spends all his time trying to apologize only for Izayan to cower away and call him a monster, and, and… Augh!" She squealed happily. "Ohmigod, it's pure genious!"

"I'm pretty sure you've already wrote something like that," the girl's male companion replied calmly, a sly smile intact as he leisurely spent the time playing his new dating sim video game.

The girl blinked. "I have?" She slumped a bit on her makeshift trash can seat as she tapped her chin lightly before snapping back to a cheerful disposition. "Then how about a master slave situation! Oh, one with a twist too! Izayan's a wealthy aristocrat and Shizu-chan's his lovely butler while still being the seme, and-"

"You've done that too. It was a Prince of Tennis AU if I'm not mistaken." At this point, a soft and negative melody emitted off of the boy's game system, leaving him cringing at his in-game mistake.

"That too?" The girl whined before slamming her back right on to the alley's thick brick walls. "Man," she groaned. "Before you know it, Summer Comiket's going to be around the corner and I can't come up with a single new story." She began to rub her hands all over her face in frustration, her legs flailing around along with them. "This is terrible! My reputation as Ikebukuro's doujin queen is in jeopardy!" Honestly, that title was more or less self appointed on her part. Although she usually managed to sell a hefty amount of doujinshis every year, she was no where near as successful as professional doujinshi artists.

"How about you try something new?"

Quickly composing herself, she readjusted her hat and smiled on to her companion expectantly. "You're right! I've been so hung up on Shizuo and Izaya that I almost completely forgot my other Ikebukuro pairings."

Her friend stifled a slight frown.

"So should it be about you and Dotachin? Oh, no, you got a bit mad the last time a doujin with you sold really well, didn't you?… Oh, oh!" She happily hopped off the trash can with sparkles of excitement flaring in her eyes. "How about that kid with the manga name and Masaomi-kun? I've been meaning to write something with those two. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think I've actually written something with Togusacchi in it before. Hey, do you think he and Dotachin would be a good pairing? Well Walk-"

"Hey, hold on!" With one of his hands held up, halting her to stop, his other still held firmly on to his gaming system. A sweet, but digital melody soon sounded into the air and was followed with the sound of a giggling anime character.

His friend frowned as she placed her hands back on the trash bin and leaned back. "What is it, Walker?"

"That's not what I meant with trying something different. Aren't you tired of always just writing these slash pairings? Especially of people you know in real life?"

"And what's wrong with writing about the people I know? Reality might as well be fiction if fiction can be a reality. The slash pairings from anime I always see are way too overdone to really be enjoyable anyway. If I use people only I know, it feels more fresh."


"Besides," she pointed towards Walker. "You're always writing me with Dotachin. And you've got at least one story where I'm with Celty. What you're doing isn't exactly too far off from what I'm doing."

"No, Erika, listen. What I mean is maybe you should try writing something new new. Something you haven't really tried before."

"Says the guy who's still writing the same Madoka/Homura fan fictions over and over again," Erika retorted plainly.

"Hey, don't use that as an example!" Walker tensed. "Those two were practically made for each other! I can't help always writing stories about a perfect couple."

"Exactly how I feel about Shizu-chan and Izaya," Erika hummed dreamily, her eyes shut in bliss.

"Wait, listen," Walker sighed. He had to compose himself for a bit before continuing his small lecture. "How about you try something normal. No lemons, no yaoi; just a straight out story."

Erika gave Walker a blank stare. She blinked at least five times before moving her hands over to her hips and producing an annoyed expression. "Is that some sort of insult against my love of yaoi? Are you even aware that most of the stuff sold at Comiket is yaoi? Honestly, and you just went and defended your yuri obsession back there."

"But can you do it?" There was a long string of silence. "Writing a normal story I mean? Maybe even without romance?" Another.

Erika made a sly grin and slowly rested her arm on to the trash bin. "Is this a challenge of some sort? What do I get if I win?"

Walker tapped on his chin for a minute before answering. "How about the new Junjou reprint coming out? I'll buy you the whole set."

"I saved up for those ages ago," she giggled. "You're going to have to try harder than that."

"Okay, how about whatever you want at Comiket?"

"Don't you do that for me already?"

Walker sighed. "Okay…" He snapped his fingers into a brilliant grin. "How about those Hetalia coin figures? The ones you always forget to buy when they're in stock."

Erika's ears perked. "I'm listening." It sounded as if she was expecting more.

Walker tapped his foot on to the ground rapidly before producing another answer. "Okay, the coin figures and a Tiger and Bunny figure?"

Erika's eyes shot open in shock. "You can get one?" She gaped. "Those sell out, like, as soon as they're out!" She proceeded to eye him suspiciously. "You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

He smirked. "Hey, I've got a pretty good source, you know."

With a grin to rival that of a certain cat, Erika squealed as she leaned back on to the trash bin yet again. Her hands held on to her arms tightly as she began waving her body around. "Throw in the newest No. 6 novel and you've got yourself a deal!"

"You seem really confident in yourself," Walker laughed lightly at his friend's enthusiasm.

"Hey, I've written tons of stories before. What's a little normality?"

"Alright," he smirked again. "But if you can't do it, I get something, right?"

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Buy back all the Megame Magazines that you loaned out and never gave back."

"That's it?"

"With the freebies!"


With Walker still smirking slyly, Erika proceeded to playfully push him towards the walls before skipping away. "Come on. The last train to Ikebukuro is about to leave. We have to give Saburo those CDs before he starts to think we cheated him out."

"Hold on, I'm at a flag point right now," Walker quickly stammered as he quickly went back to his neglected game. After rushing through a few boxes of dialogue, he glanced over to Erika's direction and took notice that she wasn't bothering to wait for him for once. Staring back at the game screen with pained hesitation, he slipped the game into his pocket before dashing up towards Erika. "So," he breathed. "We have a deal then, right?"

"Oh please. It's a challenge I won't lose at. Of course we have a deal!"

Accelr8Bishie has entered the chat.

Accelr8Bishie: (Aww, is it just you again? : ( )

A_Certain_1ndex333: (Sorry.)

Accelr8Bishie: (Hey, no need to apologize. It's their faults. How do they expect to have a good roleplay thread if no one but us are ever here?)

A_Certain_1ndex333: (I think they all jumped fandoms by now. Our Last Order's even started up that Star Driver thread.)

Accelr8Bishie: (What? She started it? That traitor!)

Accelr8Bishie: (Anyway, can you help me out a bit? You've written non romancey fics before, right?)

A_Certain_1ndex333: (That's right. Can't write romance worth a darn. ^_^)

Accelr8Bishie: (Sweet. So can you help me with my doujin?)

A_Certain_1ndex333: (Sure. What's the plot?)

Accelr8Bishie: (Haven't decided.)

A_Certain_1ndex333: (What series?)

Accelr8Bishie: (Haven't decided.)

Accelr8Bishie: (Hey, are you still on?)

Accelr8Bishie: (Hello?)

A_Certain_1ndex333: (Sorry. There's really no way I can help you.)

Accelr8Bishie: (Eh? There's got to be something!)

A_Certain_1ndex333: (Sorry, I have to go. It was nice talking to you.)

Accelr8Bishie: (Hey, don't just leave me hanging!)

Accelr8Bishie: (?)

A_Certain_1ndex333 has exited the chat.

Accelr8Bishie: (Fine. Be that way. : ( )

Accelr8Bishie has exited the chat.

I don't know. Does Erika seem OOC?

Well, I hope at least some people thought this was worthwhile. I'm trying my best to make this the most self-satisfying fic I can make so I have absolutely no clue about you guys. If you did happen to like it so far, please drop a review. ^_^