Well, the votes have been tallied and checked and quadruple checked and… the winner is… NAKED! What a shocker! I nearly fell off my seat when I stared at my computations and the results stared me in the face! ;)
Okay, so really, when you think naked what comes to mind? Angst? Drama? Hurt/Comfort? Nah, me either. Humour all the way baby….The thing is that this particular subject is going to take place over two chapters.. I tried to shorten it but the first chapter is the lead up... the next one will be the action... so, I hope you can hold out for actual nakedness until part two.
Oh, one more thing... Dean has got a major case of FBomb-itis in this... and there is some raunchiness as well... what can I say, I'm branching out.
Okay, so I hope that you will enjoy and thanks again for making this Alphabet Adventure so much fun!... Alright then, enough said, on with the 'show'…
"Dean, just gonna head to the can, be right back."
"Uh, sure. You know, maybe I didn't go to college but I sure as hell can read the big neon sign pointing out Men's Sammy, but thanks anyways for the play by play."
"You are such a jerk, Dean."
"Well, at least I ain't got perma bitchface syndrome… bitch."
"Whatever dude, order me another beer alright?"
"Sure. Don't flush yourself Sammy!"
Ah, bitchface plus flushed face equals big brother one, Sammy Samster zero.
"Could I get two more please? Thanks."
Man, there is like no action to be had in this place. Two grannies, a wrinkled up fake n'baker and a platter of jailbait. Ah well, guess it's a sign to actually get some rest. Riding with Sammy again, man, it's fucking tiring.
Damn it. No. Please. Keep walking. Sam, hurry the hell up. Just keep walking… just keep…shit…
"Hey handsome, buy a girl a drink?"
A girl? Hell, I'd take one of the white haired bitties over there any damn day of the week.
"Oh, uh, hi there. Um, actually, just waiting on my brother and then we're busting out of this joint. Sorry, maybe another time."
Woah, easy with the laser eyes bitch, I'm trying to let you down gentle.
"Really? That doesn't make sense, after all you did just order another round. Come on baby, just add another to the tab."
Jesus Sam, for the love of…
Ugh, someone tell me there is not a leathery, twenty years to long in the tanning bed hand resting on my thigh. Great, I just puked in my mouth a little. Seriously.
"Why don't you ditch that brother of yours and come back to my place, I bet you look even prettier in your birthday suit."
Definite puke material here.
Thank God. "Hey! Hey Sam, over here dude!"
Did he just slow down? And is he smiling? That fucking bastard, he is so dead.
"Hey man, oh sorry, am I interrupting something?"
Oh I am gonna knock that smirk off your face little brother.
"Hi there, I'm Sam. I see you've already met my brother Dean."
You mean your name was Sam. Come on, grab your beer dude… grab your beer… fuck it…
"Here's your beer Sammy. Better drink up, got an early day tomorrow… remember?"
"Really? Actually, I don't remember that Dean, I thought we were gonna stay in town for another day or two."
Smug bastard thinks this is funny. I am going to tear him so many new ones he won't be able to take a damn drink without… speaking of, where's my fucking beer? Mmmm…. Maybe that'll wash this memory away.
"Hi Sam, name's Gertrude.."
Holy shit… that fucking hurts…
"Dean? You okay bro? God, I don't think I have ever seen someone spew beer out of their nose before. That looks like it stings."
"If you boys would excuse me for a moment, I'm going to go powder my nose. Sam, could I ask you a favour?"
"Uh, sure, I guess."
"Convince your stud brother here to leave with me... and tell him that I plan to give him the ride of his life."
Oh My. Fucking. God. What in fucks sake is going on here? This chick cannot be for real! And Sam, the game is on! Well, at least he has the decency to look slightly shocked at that last disgusting and member-shrivelling comment.
"Not one fucking word Sam. Look...Gertrude is it?"
"That's me sugar... and I can't wait until you say it loud and..."
Jesus, could this get any more gross?
"I'm sure you're a great lay-dee and all but I think there has been a misunderstanding. See, my brother is yanking your chain and being a total dick to me right now and really, I don't want to hurt your feelings but the only thing that's gonna happen is that Sam and I are going to leave… alone. End of story."
Okay, she looks unbelievably pissed off.
"YOU ARROGANT SON OF A BITCH! DON'T YOU DARE PATRONIZE ME!"
What the hell is she...
"Fuck!" That hag just slapped me! Well, at least that woke numb nuts beside me out of his fucking stupor.
"Woah, Gertrude… come on now, there's no need for violence. Look, I'm sure Dean is flattered but he's right, we are definitely leaving here, without you. You seem a bit too unstable, even for us. C'mon Dean, let's go."
"YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN YOU PIECE OF SHIT! SAM, I'M COMING FOR YOU… AND DEAN? YOUR ASS IS MINE!"
"What the fuck was that Sam?"
"What? I was just having a little fun man. Jesus, how was I supposed to know she was totally insane?"
"Whatever, I need a damn drink. Come on, let's stop off and get some brews somewhere without alligator-skinned, horny and insane women to deal with. That bitch was crazy dude!"
"Yeah, I could use a drink. That was definitely weird man."
"Then quit smiling dude, you are totally creeping me out."
"Now this is what I am talking about! All a man needs right here in this non-descript brown paper bag man."
"Uh, all I see is beer and… dude, what the fuck? M&M's?"
"Yes, that is correct young grasshopper, the two vices to true enlightenment."
"Alright Dali Lama, you get the gear, I'll take your bag of treasures inside."
"Hey dude, don't forget, I'm not the one who….."
What the hell? Fuck, can't we have one god damned night without this shit? Damn it! He's got my fucking gun.
"Sam? SAM! You in there? What the hell? Let go of my brother asshat."
"Hi Dean. Say hello to my little friend."
"You? Shit, you have got to be fucking kidding me."
"Hey handsome. Miss me?"
"Sam, you okay?"
"Tell you friend here to let him go bitch, or so help me I'll… "
"Kill me? Yeah right. Look sweetie, I don't want anyone to get hurt, I just want… well, you know what I want."
"And who the fuck is the fugly Gertrude? Your pimp?"
"Temper temper Dean. I'd hate for him to accidentally break your brother's neck because you pissed him off by calling him names."
"Alright, alright.. just relax, I'm sure we can figure this insanely fucked up situation out. What the hell do you want?"
"Your clothes. Off."
"Or I tell my gorilla to crush Sam's windpipe. Seems like a no brainer to me hotstuff."
She is a fucking lunatic. I'm not just gonna stand here while Sam... shit.
"Tsk, tsk Dean. I guess I forgot to mention the part about the gun huh? Just an insurance policy, I don't intend to use it but if you move again I may get trigger happy. Oh, and one more thing. Your clothes? Take them off Nice. And. Slow."
Okay, I am going to puke.
"This is a joke right? No? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Make it good sugar or baby brother over there stops breathing."
"Man, you are beyond fucked up bitch. All this trouble just to see me naked? Must be a sad, pathetic little life you lead."
"Actually, it's no big mystery."
"Look Dean, I have a bit of a problem with rejection."
"No shit lady."
"See, it gets me all worked up and liable to do something rash. What's the big deal? Just give me what I want and you and your brother get to walk away, no harm done."
"No harm… jesus, wouldn't you rather hit me.. or.. I know, how about shoot me? Will that..."
"How about you shut that pretty fucking mouth of yours.. unless you'd rather use it for something other than talking."
God. Ewwwww... this is not happening. This cannot be happening.
"How about stabbing? You look like the kind of bitch that would get off on that kind of shit. I know, why don't you start by gouging out my fucking eyeballs!"
"Quit stalling and start stripping Dean. Unless you ain't got the balls .. huh, maybe that's it. Maybe you're all flashy on the outside but under the hood your just a clunky, old beater."
Did this crackwhore just insult my... whatever, she won't get to me. I ain't the one who looks like a beaten down snakeskin boot.
"Look, all I want is what I asked for nicely, before you and your asshole brother decided to get all nasty."
"Look sweetheart, I wasn't nasty, I was being fucking polite! Wanna know the truth? You look like some shrivelled up cheerleader from the thirties who still thinks they are worth getting banged. Newsflash sister..."
"C...can't b..breathe d..dude... p..please, just... d...do it... already."
Sammy. Shit. You so owe me like for the rest of your damn life.
This is so disgusting. Okay man, just breathe and relax. You can do this. For Sammy. Just please, don't turn on...
"I hope you don't mind if I put on a little background music."
... the porn channel.
Stay tuned for part two! Oh, and if you have any suggestions for the Letter O, feel free to message me with them... Thanks for reading! :)