Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction intended for entertainment purposes only. The characters and world belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just like playing with them.


Panthalassa: High Tide

Chapter 35 – Memories


Kenji instructed me on how to hunt, and what was acceptable to feed on while Edward, Alice and Jasper kept a respectful distance from us. I toyed with Kenji, flirting and seducing him to try and get him to give me permission to hunt the prey I wanted. I had no clue why his approval was important to me. It felt similar to a child begging an adult to let them have a treat before bed. The thought about children and bedtimes had me pause. I would never need sleep again.

His guidance worked, for the most part. I only ate two more humans while we hunted that night. It would have been more, but he kept distracting me with his perfect looking body. I ate a deer, which was beyond disgusting, until I turned off the light responsible for my ability to taste, then it tasted like nothing.

Kenji tried to get me to put on a shirt Jasper left hanging on a tree as we approached the looming castle. Even in the dead of night I could see every detail of the structure. It looked wonderful with the bright lights of the people inside. I was confident when I jumped back into the window I had destroyed 368 minutes before, that my ability to manipulate the lights inside any potential threat would keep me safe.

Back in the castle I was introduced, or reintroduced to a bunch of other vampires that claimed they were my family. The word family and this new predatory body didn't seem to mix well. I was a singular being and I didn't need a family any longer. That was definitely a positive change from the human me I could barely remember. I had been weak and desired nothing more than to be loved. Now I only wanted blood… and Kenji.

The vampire named Esme insisted that I put something on and Kenji provided me with a robe, the fabric felt smooth against my skin, but even so I could still detect the small imperfections in the fabric. I planned on taking off the garment as soon as Esme was no longer able to see me, and I toyed with the idea of turning off the light behind her eyes to make that come about sooner.

I was given a concise and quick rundown of what they suspected happened to my memories. They had thought I would become a wild creature without capability to form thoughts because I might have lost the brain function in order to do so. But apparently the vampire with a similar fourth light to Alice had only 'seen' me running around naked and killing to form the opinion that I had no ability to reason. I wasn't sure if I should be offended that simply because I liked being naked now meant that the vampire named Toji had claimed I was going to be feral monster.

The group, they called themselves the Cullen's, not Whitlock's, exclaimed their relief at my ability to function, yet were very sad and lamented the fact I had no real memories of them. When I asked about what exactly I was missing from my memories, the room went quiet. And the seconds dragged on, none gathered seemed to want to start first. That both angered me and interested me.

"You were attacked at the camp… and went in to a coma. When you woke up we took you in to our family, as you would have gone to a group home because the Conner's didn't have room for you any longer." Carlisle started.

My eyes narrowed as I tried to match up his words with some memory. Who would have attacked me at the camp? I couldn't even remember what this camp had been about much less who else had been there.

Edward spoke up to fill in the blank, "It was a girl named Sophila." I knew the name and I knew it had something to do with the Thorps, and that I hated the girl Sophila. But other than that there was nothing linking me to her, no context I could pull from my memories.

My fast working and highly distracted mind bounced around to try and figure out the next question to be asked. On one hand I didn't actually care about my past. I could run off, hopefully with Kenji, and leave all of these people behind, never sparing them a second thought. On the other hand it seemed as if they had cared about me, and although I was no longer bound by the human frailties of needing to be loved the new me found it intriguing that I had been a part of their family.

"There are a lot of elements and components to this story," the male I came to understand was the 'father' of this group said, and I found myself liking Carlisle. "If you would be able to be patient and listen we could go quickly through everything."

"I want to feed." I muttered looking at the bright red burning lights in each of their throats was a reminder at how mine wasn't parching my throat dry but was humming with eagerness to be fulfilled.

My hands twitched at my side showing my need to go out and find some prey.

"We can go in and hour." The kind yet authoritative voice of Kenji calmed me some. Not much, but some. So I started counting the seconds while the Cullen's talked.

They covered the family history, briefly touching on how each member of the family came to be a vampire. I felt worst for how Carlisle had been changed. He had been alone in a cellar with sacks of rotting potatoes around him. Until I heard Rosalie's story which brought a massive amount of anger in me towards the men that would do something like that, my anger was tinged with a feeling of empathy, for what reason I wasn't sure.

Bella's history for joining the family was most interesting, and the talk about a human-vampire hybrid fascinated me. They told me about how that child had caused problems due to the vampire laws of secrecy and something to do with the leaders of the vampire world destroying immortal children. They had an altercation that ended tensely but without any loss of life. They had gone over each of their special abilities, and I found myself looking at the fourth light in their heads to see if it would give me further information on them.

Then came the part that involved me, but as Alice started talking about the part where she was having visions of darkness I finished counting out the hour. When she was mid syllable I was out the window again.

I could hear the one called Emmett's laugh echo after me, while Esme scolded Edward for not warning them I would take off like that.

I let the robe fly off of me, not caring where it landed as I raced to find an appealing scent. I hoped the first thing I would come across was a human, that way Kenji couldn't guilt me in to stopping.

Sadly I found two deer three mountain ridges over and fed on them. Not tasting them was almost as bad as tasting them. Then I realized it was also the smell of them that bothered me. I was finding more interesting things out about my second sight. I could stop looking with it, although it didn't really distract me much to have it going all the time. At least it didn't distract me as much as smelling or hearing anyway. But when I wasn't choosing to use it, it would still pop up when it felt something new.

I stopped at the edge of a clearing when my second sight came up showing me there was a person heading my way, it was a vampire, female, and the lights inside were rather harsh to look at. This wasn't a vampire I had seen in the castle. Kenji came up to my side looking in the direction I was facing. Even though the vampire was coming more from the right I didn't adjust my position.

"What is it Evangeline?" Kenji asked, he took a long sniff of the air, his own senses not picking up anything out of the normal.

"How do you see your ability?" I turned to look at him, the desire to learn what the fourth lights really meant came to the forefront of my thoughts.

"I am not sure what you mean."

"You know mine manifests as lights, I see bright lights," I said pointing to my head.

"No I don't see any lights." He admitted a small eager look coming to his eyes. "When you were human you were able to see bright flashes of light that would cause you pain. We were only able to confirm linking them to possible danger coming near you. However it is possible that when you became an immortal they came to serve more than one function. Do you want to try and explain to me exactly what it is you are seeing?" His tone became more eager the more he talked. And I was enjoying his glee at this, although why my lights would interest him so much, it wasn't like he could see their brilliance. Then I became sad realizing he couldn't see the beauty I could.

"To begin with, I can see quite clearly that we aren't alone and yet you haven't even reacted to the intruder's proximity." My gaze turned to the approaching vampire, she was close enough now that we should have been able to hear her breathe or the sound of her feet on the ground, but mostly he should have been able to see her in the clearing. As soon as I spoke she stopped in her approach. My regular eyes couldn't see her and it bothered me that none of my other senses were indicating we weren't alone.

"Someone is here with us?" He asked following my gaze yet again.

Defensiveness sprang in me. If Kenji couldn't see the threat, and I could, it meant he could be in danger. So I did the natural thing and attacked it. Whatever the vampire really was, it tried to run away from me. Kenji followed as best he could with how fast I was moving.

I didn't need to tackle this vampire as my ability lashed out with my need to protect and turned off the second smallest light in its head. The female was down, but still invisible to all other senses. I crouched down ready to disassemble the creature, based on where its lights were. The instant my fingers grazed upon invisible marble flesh Kenji put a hand on my shoulder.

"Evangeline, I believe you have disabled a dear friend of mine. Her name is Shizuka; she was born as an immortal with a very impressive gift."

The tone in his voice, the one of pride, made me jealous.

"Can you explain what you do when you put me in to unconsciousness?" He knelt down next to my crouched position. I mimicked his posture still unsure what to do about this Shizuka as an intruder.

"Every person… human or immortal has these energies... Lights which are so brilliant I can't help but watch them. I know what function most of the lights have. There are at least three in every persons head. The bright one I am afraid to touch, the smaller one that is the body function, it has threads that go to the light behind the eyes, so I assume that turning that light off would make whomever go limp but still allow them to see things. The second smallest light makes you go off. Like what I did to you and what I did to Shizuka. That energy is easy to manipulate. It takes no thought for me to play with it." I took a long breath and began to go through what I knew about what I was doing.

"There are four lights in some of us. You, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Toji, Bella… and myself have them. I can turn those off as well but it is much harder than that second light. There are nearly 600 in a human, all of them I can control. Immortals have their energies combined into 60, some of them I can't do anything to, like the energies in legs and arms. Most of the ones I can manipulate are in the head and chest."

Kenji nodded interestedly.

"I assume Shizuka has a fourth light as well." Nodding I confirm his question.

"Can you turn that one off while her second light is off?"

"No." I said, because it was just one of those things you know, like you can't bend your knee the other way without it breaking.

"Would you turn that energy back on then turn off her fourth light? Her ability is to become completely invisible. And I would like to properly introduce you two."

I did not want to do it, so I pretended like it was a difficult task. Something about the way Kenji's tone curved around saying her name made me hate her. As far as I was concerned Kenji's feelings to her were a threat to the plans I had for him. I wanted him to only feel things for me.

The possessiveness in me was thrilling and a nice distraction from my need to find more prey to feed on.

"Evangeline?" Kenji questioned once several seconds had passed and nothing had changed.

I stood up.

"I don't think I want to turn her back on." I confessed easily. Honestly this female was nothing to me, and the fact Kenji wanted her back held me firm to not returning her lights to normal.

Kenji seemed to understand the situation and stood also, he was barely taller than I was, and I could feel him trying to intimidate me. "If you do not return her state to a normal one, I will withhold physical intimacy with you."

My glare was instant. How dare he blackmail me like that!

I hissed at him, the noise coming deeply from inside me.

"Well then, at least I can concentrate on my next meal instead." I snapped. I was instantly furious with him and he could tell. He reached a hand out to touch my shoulder and I reacted by leaping back, far away from him and the prone invisible Shizuka.

"Touch me again and I will knock you out," I spat at him before turning away and bolting out of the clearing.

My fury grew when it seemed that Kenji wasn't following me, but rather staying with Shizuka. I got near the edge of where I could see him with my second sight and watched as he searched for Shizuka on the ground and picked her up.

I made the concrete decision to hunt all the humans I could until I was so full I would burst. That would show Kenji who was in charge here. I would show him what threatening me would lead to.

I avoided the lights of vampires who were so obviously looking for me. I saw Alice on the edge of my sight once or twice as I headed to the north. I could smell more human scents on the wind and I was glorying in it.

There was a house on the edge of a city it had two occupants, two old women in the same bed. I turned off both of their second lights, as not to give them any undo fright. I thrilled in their blood and let loose the pulsing light in my throat and felt the smooth quenching of blood coat my throat. Once finished with them I made my way to the next house, not even close to being ready to finish.

My second sight was helpful in picking out victims that weren't very aware, and because their lights were easier to play with than immortals I could turn their second light off without even touching them. I found an apartment complex where most inhabitants were sleeping and I was about to make my pick for the next victim when I heard someone singing.

It was a tiny child's voice echoing as if in a bathroom. A tiny male child, I realized, his voice was so innocent even though it was off pitch it had stopped me in my actions. I clenched my jaw and moved around the building till I could see inside his apartment; I had to climb a tree to accomplish it. The sun would be rising soon and I had to make a decision about where I would go from here. I had no real desire to go back to that castle… well to amend that, I wanted to go back to Kenji, but if I did he would want me to fix Shizuka. I was not interested in that.

I crouched in the tree and listened to the little boy, he was out of the bathroom now, singing in Japanese, going about his tiny apartment home turning on lights in the kitchen. I watched him long enough, without breathing and with my lights off in my throat, to realize how interesting the child was beyond how sweet his blood would taste. It took until he had finished singing and turned on the early morning news for me to realize what I found interesting about him.

He was singing.

I remembered singing. I used to do it. I could remember that.

Running back in to the thick cover of the woods and mountains I decided to give it a try with my new crystal clear voice, and see how it felt.

I sat atop a tall evergreen tree, and began singing notes. I couldn't quite remember any song lyrics off the top of my head, my memories weren't that strong. And I couldn't remember my human singing voice that well, I knew I was talented but I was amazed at the notes coming from within me. The second light in my throat the one dealing with my voice was so strong naturally, and I could feel it being linked to my fourth light by a thin tendril of light. Singing to the horizon as the sun rose gave me peace. No thoughts of thirst, of Kenji, of my missing memories, or my past or future bothered me. I enjoyed listening to my wordless song echo around me.

I watched the sun rise and the way the beams of light reacted to my flesh. There was so much to see, with both sets of vision. I wondered what I would do with an eternity of time. I didn't need sleep. Once the sun was fully away from the horizon I left my tree and decided to try to swim back to America. Perhaps I would come back and look for Kenji one day. If I gave him a long time to think about his behavior maybe he'd come crawling back to me.

My second sight abruptly flashed to inform me a demon of massive speed was heading my way. It was a male immortal, one I didn't recognize, and he was much faster than any of the others. Intense panic came to me as I realized I wouldn't be able to outrun this man, and that the lights I could see in his head were very threatening to me.

I fled, running any direction I could think of to evade him; I lost him once for a brief moment till he changed his course. Fear of his unknown intent pushed me as fast as I could go. When I smelled the ocean I knew I was going to be fine if I could get in to the water.

I swore under my breath when I saw the familiar lights in the direction I was going. Kenji was standing in my path along with Toji. The threatening vampire was too close for me to choose another path so I stopped a few meters before the tree break where Kenji and Toji were and turned to face my pursuer.

The vampire and I caught a glimpse of each other. I crouched while watching him, preparing to fight a battle my lights were already warning me I would lose. He was Asian, and very slightly shorter than Kenji. I could see the dark purple light, the fourth light in his head, and it was crackling against my own second sight. It almost hurt in a way. The closer he got the more I had to fight myself from trying to run again.

He stopped a good forty feet from me. Much too close for comfort. His ability wasn't affecting me yet, but I did not like the idea of him coming any closer.

"Evangeline," He said with a calm tone. Great, I thought, he knew me too. I must be famous in this vampire world. What the hell was I doing for the last four years? "Will you behave and come back to the castle with us?"

"I don't really feel like I have much of a choice." I said.

"Well my name is Ichiro, and there is much more of the story the Cullen's need to tell you."

I stared him down, and then I realized something that I hadn't yet done. I blinked. The simple action of blinking felt as unnecessary as breathing did, and I was distracted for a second by the fact I hadn't blinked in over 12 hours.

"I see no reason to listen to more stories." I said shortly.

"Evangeline please." Kenji spoke up from behind me.

There was no reason for me to go back to that castle, not at least from what I was able to tell. I was about to tell the Japanese men they'd have to force me to go back because none of my plans had anything to do with going back there.

"Perhaps if you knew it involved your children you would be more interested." Toji announced.

"I have children?" I asked completely baffled. I spun around to stare Toji down.

When did I have these kids? And who was the father? Where were they? How many were there?

"We have a son, Adam, and a daughter, Lily." Kenji said, a strong smile forming on his face. I felt a giddy feeling grow in me at his words.

"We?" I asked coming to stand right in front of him. My eyes were bright and wide with excitement.

"Yes." He confirmed it. It took me a second to come up with the answer as to the how. Kenji and I had two hybrid children, much like the one Bella and Edward had, Renessmee.

"I want to see them." I demanded. I was beginning to feel so very proud of myself. If Kenji and I had children together, surely that meant Shizuka wasn't as important to Kenji as I was. He was mine, and our children would be evidence of that fact. I needed to see them to solidify my place beside Kenji.

Toji pulled the robe from behind his back. And I growled irritated as I put it on, ripping it slightly while doing it. The one named Ichiro lead the way.


When I got to the castle they held me seeing my children at ransom. Esme said she felt terrible about doing it. But I was to listen to the rest of the story, and restore Shizuka to normal before I would be able to meet them.

I refused to put Shizuka back until I met my children. Edward and Jasper confirmed they wouldn't be able to push me on that front. And for some odd reason it made me happy that they were taking my side of this, even if they were still withholding me from meeting my children. I searched the area for any interesting lights and found none.

So story time continued. It was rather interesting to hear them talk about me, I had to admit. It was like being told the summary of a very long, dramatic and complicated movie. I was completely detached emotionally from the Evangeline in their story. So when they got to the part about my father being a werewolf and him dying to protect me, I was fascinated more than sad. Apparently I had sung for him before he died, which I did find I liked.

I had a singing career, which I thrilled at.

I had been kidnapped and tortured by some sick vampire, which was the first time in the story I actually felt some solid emotion. Anger.

Then I met Kenji, he wanted a child, I agreed so I could be changed.

My alter ego was killed off, which bummed me out.

I had a son.

Some of our friends were killed, which I had the feeling I should care about.

Then I got pregnant again, and at that point in the story I felt a lustful urge to have Kenji between my legs soar in me. Jasper looked visibly disturbed, and soon everyone in the room was looking towards their mates. The story got derailed from there for a moment as Jasper got his empathic ability under control and all the mated vampires calmed themselves down.

So nearing the end of the story they told me about the last few hours I had spent as a human and how they weren't certain how I would turn out as a vampire until shortly before Edward was able to hear my thoughts as I burned, realizing I wasn't a mindless creature they thought I might be.

"Any questions?" Carlisle asked kindly. I looked to him, then Edward.

"No. Now can I see my children?" I asked.

The family warned me that although they didn't find the hybrids appetizing, scent wise, they wanted to expose me to Edward and Bella's daughter first, to see if I could handle being near a beating heart.

Edward made a phone call and about a minute later I could hear the heart beat. I struggled against the fact Ichiro's ability was binding mine. I couldn't even see his ability doing it which added to the irritation. I felt a little desperation in me that I couldn't see her lights, it had become a way I could feel them out, just as much as smelling someone's unique scent, my lights were an extension of a way to protect myself. I twitched with annoyance trying to move to a different part of the room where Ichiro's influence wasn't. Alice gave me a kind looking smile when she realized what I was doing; most everyone else was just watching me like I was a curiosity.

The sound of a hybrids heart, with the sweet gushing sound of blood pumping had venom pooling in my mouth. I firmly planted my feet at a spot nearest Kenji, facing the door Renesmee was going to walk through soon. At least when Ichiro's ability took mine away it left the effects of what I'd done to the bright light in my throat. I wouldn't have been able to form a solid thought with that thirst driving me insane.

Renesmee had a very depressed scent to her, sadness was clinging to every pore of her being, it stunk and I didn't like it. I stared at her as she came in the doorway, in an instant I took in every part of her. Her eyes searched for something in the room, almost instantly landing on me. Tears started to pool in her eyes, Bella went to her daughter's side while the girl started to cry. While still staring at her I caught others looking at me for a reaction in the peripheral.

"Eva?" she sobbed looking up at me from her mums embrace. I purposefully blinked twice.

"Yes Renesmee?" I asked.

I must have used the wrong tone because her face crumpled up again in anguish and she started to cry. Edward too went to his daughter.

"Why is she crying?" I asked looking to Carlisle. Upon asking that she cried harder and Bella began to lead her out of the room. No one answered right away.

"Was her scent too much for you?" Jasper asked instead of answering my question.

I took in a long breath of air, her own floral scent was sweet and alluring but not in the same way the man on the bike had been.

"No." I told the room.

I heard Bella and Renesmee talking down in a different part of the castle.

The hybrid was asking why she had lost some of the most important people to her; she was asking how she was supposed to go on living like this, without Jake and with me being a stranger to her.

"She and I were friends?" I asked the room. Rosalie frowned deeply while nodding. All of the Cullen's were watching me for a reaction; the Japanese vampires seemed politely interested in what was happening. Rosalie had taken a seat on low table that had some medical supplies on it. Looking at her seated made me want to try it too I looked to where Esme was and saw a rolling stool, one that doctors use, and went to sit on it. My own speed and strength flattened it. Emmett, and Ichiro couldn't hold their laughter back and I really didn't mind, I extracted myself from the chair bits as Edward tried to explain it to me.

"You remember the story of how recently she lost her husband… you are her best friend. And the fact you don't remember her… she feels she has lost you as well."

"She has also never seen a transformation first had or been around a newborn-"

"But Bella-"

"She doesn't count." Jasper waved me off. "You are… essentially the same as far as looks, but your mannerisms are completely different."

I had noticed the other vampires shifting and fidgeting.

"If it bothers her she doesn't need to see me again." I reasoned.

"See right there, even though what you said is something you wouldn't say if you could remember her, but you would have shrugged your shoulders." Emmett pointed out.

I tried to shrug my shoulders, the movement felt odd, unnecessary. The movement caused Alice, Rosalie, Toji, Emmett, Edward, and Ichiro to laugh or try to hide a laugh.

"What?" I asked, trying to shrug my shoulders again.

Whatever it was about that movement and how I was doing it was entertaining to them, because Alice and Emmett burst into laughter. The others tried to hide their amusement, and until Esme cleared her throat and gave them a stern look did they quiet down.

"You move way too quickly for it to look right," Kenji helpfully supplied.

"Ok. Now can I meet my children?" I asked. I wanted my second sight back, I wanted to hunt and I wanted to see the physical evidence that Kenji and I had been together before I lost my memories.


Looking upon my children for the first time would be unforgettable event without my eidetic memory. They were both so beautiful and had an amazing mix of attributes from both Kenji and I.

My son Adam upon first seeing me started crying. My daughter Lily was a tiny little thing, and she merely smiled at me and wiggled in the female Tanya's arms. They had an odd stinky scent clinging to their clothes that I didn't like. When I brought it up, everyone smiled and looked at each other. Then they told me they had been with Seth, one of those humans that could change in to a giant wolf. I'd been told the wolves smelled horridly.

Still, I tried to enjoy my children's own unique scent by smelling them over and over. Adam laughed every time I did it and said I was tickling him. Lily too was laughing.

"Ichiro can you go away now?" I asked once Tanya handed me my daughter. I had to be extremely careful with how I handled the hybrid children. So I pretended they were soap bubbles and I used barely any pressure while touching them.

"What?" he asked sounding offended.

"I am sure it is because you are preventing Evangeline from using her ability." Kenji explained.

Carlisle's interest piqued.

"Why don't we give all of you some time alone hmm?" Rosalie suggested with a happy smile stretched across her face.

Eventually all of the vampires left the area, and as soon as Ichiro was far enough away my second sight was back and welcoming me with warm bright lights. My sons lights were of the same color pallet as Kenji's, whereas Lily's were a perfect mix of mine and Kenji's. They looked so much like him it made me proud in a primal way that they were ours.

"Mummy, I am so happy you are okay." Adam told me from Kenji's arms. We were still standing in the medical room. I wasn't sure about trying to sit down again, besides all of my attention was either on studying Adam and Lily on the inside and outside.

Adam's smile was curving much like how I vaguely remembered my own. And with that thought I realized I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror.

I went to the corner where there was a mirror hanging on the door and I stared at the creature looking back at me. If it wasn't for the fact I was holding my daughter I might not believed what I was looking at.

I was… stunning.

"I look…" I couldn't find the words. My bright red eyes were unsettling to look at but it wasn't the most impressive thing to see, so even if I couldn't ignore it while looking in the mirror I tried to focus on other things like my lips and cheekbones.

"Mummy you are beautiful," Adam said from Kenji's arms. Lily made some noises in my arms that indicated she agreed with Adam.

"You're mother is far beyond beautiful. There are no words in any language I have ever heard that would pay her accurate and proper justice." Kenji's eyes were slowly fading to that black primal need. I had to consciously remind myself I had two children in the room with us. A big part of me didn't care, and I felt my own body reacting to Kenji's obvious lust for me.

I had noticed it as soon as I first saw my children's lights to know they had a special talent. The fourth light wasn't nearly as bright as my own or even Edward's, but it looked like it could become brighter. Where as with all of the vampire's I'd seen with a fourth light looked near impossible to have the light become more powerful.

"They mentioned Renesmee having an ability, which was the opposite of Edwards and Bella's. I assume because I can see that our children each have an ability it will also be a mix between what we can do?" I decided to give Lily a very gentle toss in the air. Even still she nearly hit her head to the ceiling. Adam looked scared at how close it had been, Kenji merely smiled at us.

"It would seem so." Kenji agreed.

"I can fix things mum. I was healing you without knowing it just after I was born." The pride in his voice wasn't easy to miss.

"Interesting," I hummed studying the lights in Kenji and Adam more.

"Lily has shown us a little of what she can do, but it doesn't seem like she does it often."

I looked to the man with the unexplainable pull for me and then back at my little girls face.

Her bright blue eyes slowly began to change color, into bright red light my own.

"Oh!" I gasped, rather impressed.

"She's only done it with her eyes, but Uncle Edward suspects she'll be doing more before long." Adam instructed.

Lily gave her brother a look from my arms which was a clear signal for him to stop talking about her like she wasn't there. It was fascinating to see her facial reactions to things.

"You said she is only four days old?"

"Yes," Kenji reached a free hand to run it over her tiny head. "Almost five days soon."

"Lily… Do you have a middle name? Did I give one to you?" I asked her. She liked being talked to rather than about, and shook her head.

"Actually I was preoccupied with your change, and for their safety Tanya took Lily and Adam to the city while we awaited your change. Adam actually took it upon himself to name her."

I snorted.

"My mum's middle name was Lillian."

"I know, Rosalie told me their names when I asked. Did you know Rosalie's middle name was Lillian too?" he was enjoying talking to me so much his blue eyes never left my face.

"I didn't know that." I honestly thought he was just being polite asking me. As all my memories of Rosalie were after I awoke from my change, I hadn't heard her middle name in that time. I humored him anyway rather than point out the obvious.

"Your grandma Knight's middle name was Rose. I thought it was really neat, having flower names in the family. So I picked Lily."

"Lily is perfect Adam. You did a fine job picking out a name."

Lily soon made it known she was hungry, by pointing at her mouth. I wouldn't be able to feed her blood without needing some myself so Alice came and took her down to be with the family, Adam using his little fast legs to go with them. Adam said he wanted me to sing to them after Lily's nap.

I turned to Kenji fully ready to either hunt, or mate with him. But he merely rose a fantastically shaped brow at me.

"What?" I barked.

"You promised." He said pointing to another room. I saw with my second sight the still figure of Shizuka. I made a noise in my throat.

It gave me no pleasure to fix her, and as soon as I replaced her light to the normal position I fled the castle yet again. Kenji this time followed me closely.

I only found one more deer before my desire for Kenji took over. He was prepared for my onslaught and we tumbled down the mountainside.

We returned hours later.

Lily was awake from her nap, having bed fed twice since Kenji and I had been gone.

I had no idea what to sing to my children, as I remembered no songs, not really.

So I decided to just sing with notes.

All of the vampires that I had seen with my second sight were gathered. I sat on the ground rather than risk damaging the furniture in the large outdoor area we were gathered in. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting close by also on the ground, Bella and Edward had a very broken looking Ren between them on a giant boulder. Then a couple I just met named Benjamin and Tia took a spot up in a tree. Most everyone else was standing near their mate or if they had no mate, their coven mates. It was weird that I effortlessly associated these words with them.

The sun was just getting past the middle of the sky when I started to sing.

The last memories I had of my human life were fuzzy, and they were of a very unimportant moment of me walking in the rain. Memory is such an interesting thing, everything we do and remember makes us who we are. And sadly because my memories of everyone gathered were gone, the emotions I knew would be there if I could remember them would have been happy and sweet. That much I realized.

I honestly just wanted to run away with Kenji, Adam and Lily, and never see any of these people again. Being around them was really trying on my instincts, if not for my ability and the knowledge I could easily stop any of the others from harming me or my mate there is no way I would be sitting here so calmly.

I had a sinking feeling that I was going to be stuck with this large group for quite a while. At least until this Zhan person was dealt with.