Sorry, I posted this and I knew it was crappy, it just took me a while to get around to revamping it.
A/N: Here's something... I don't know. Translations are at the bottom.
Oh yeah, sorry no smut, just an f-bomb. I don't write smut. It would be bad smut anyway.
"Sind Sie bereit, Erik?" says Schmitt, an evil smile playing up his features. Erik's reply is the same is always.
"Nein, bitte Herr Doktor, haben Sie Erbarmen!" he whimpers, struggling against the leather restraints. The Doctor makes a clucking noise with his tongue.
"Das ist nur zu deinem Besten, Erik..." The Doctor picks up a scalpel a begins to cut at the raw skin on the young boy's forearm.
Erik Lehnsherr bolts upright in his room at Xavier mansion. It's alright, he thinks to himself. It was just a dream. But faintly, he can't help thinking how real it felt. A layer of cold sweat is on his forehead, the only evidence of his nightmare. His mind feels like a mess, a silent reminder of the fact that he nowhere near as okay as he likes to believe.
Sighing, Erik does a quick survey of his surroundings. The only light in the otherwise dark room is a patch of moonlight on the floor. Erik takes a deep breath, rubbing his forehead. He sits in the dark for a while, knees pulled up to his chest. Suddenly his thoughts float to this morning, outside, with the satellite.
He can't stop thinking about how empty his mind has felt since Charles had withdrawn that morning. He couldn't stop thinking of how happy Charles' smile made him. He suddenly realized he'd been lying to himself for a very, very long time. Erik was not okay. Never had been. But hopefully, someday, he will be. He decides that 'someday' will be sooner, rather than later.
Finally, he can't stand to sit still anymore. Silently, he slips out from the tangled sheets covering his bed, and finds himself making his way to Charles's study. Interesting, he thinks once more to himself, seeing as he had no recollection of making this decision.
He doesn't know why, but Charles's study makes him feel safe. But upon further musing, he realizes he doesn't feel safe there, per se, but rather, there, he doesn't feel the overwhelming need to hide.
Maybe it's just a trick of the mind, but maybe it isn't the study itself, but rather, it's constant occupant.
"Charles Francis Xavier! Come out at once!" boomed a deep voice.
This of course, had the opposite of the intended effect. Instead, Charles, who was still very small for his age, pressed closer to his sister, Raven. Together, they watched out from under the bed. The footsteps faltered, and Charles held his breath- then they started getting louder.
Frantically, Charles tried to think of something to do. He had been well aware that his stepfather would inevitably find them- he was ready for this. What he was not ready for was how he could protect Raven. What could he do...?
And suddenly, his stepfather is their, an angry expression on his face. He rips up the sheets and stops for a minute, out of shock. Charles followed his gaze, and realized why. Raven had inadvertently had reverted to her natural form. For a moment, everyone is deathly still. Then Charles takes action, planting an idea in his stepfather's head.
I'm hiding alone under this bed, there is no one next to me, there never was.
This idea seems to sink in. His stepfather sits poised to grab Charles for a minute, and then does so. Forcibley, Charles is dragged away from his room, his Raven, and later... his innocence.
Charles wakes up in shock- it's been years since he's had that nightmare. Just thinking about his stepfather sends an involuntary shiver down his spine.
Quietly Charles hugged the pillow to his chest. He didn't need this right now. He never would need this, but especially not now. He had people to take care of, children to protect. As far as Charles was concerned, he didn't have time for nightmares, or dredging up his past. A particularly unfavorable past. Charles hadn't been lying that night at the CIA when he told Erik he knew everything about him- but he didn't need his telepathic abilities to feel Erik's agony.
Charles shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of these stressful thoughts. It helped somewhat, but his mind was still buzzing with activity.
Much too awake now to fall back asleep, Charles sits up tiredly. Very quietly, he slides out of bed. Unsure of what else to do, Charles decided to visit his study, and find something a little more productive to do then think about the horrible memories of his childhood.
Upon opening the door, Charles finds that he, is not in fact, the only one experiencing wakefulness. Across the room, Erik is seated on one of the many couches, this one in particular facing away from Charles.
Hovering in front of Erik is a small bit of metal. It's shape keeps shifting- morphing into different chess pieces. Vaguely Charles wonders what it began as, but he pushes the thought away.
"Hello, my friend." Erik's head whips around to see Charles, surprise written all over his face. Having lost Erik's attention, the metal bit falls to the floor. Unimportant; now that Charles is present. Erik looks a little worried.
"Is something wrong, my friend?" Charles asks, his tone laced with concern, despite the muiltitude if worries tugging at his mind.
"No," Erik says a little to quickly. Charles pads over to the couch Erik is sitting on. His blue eyes are muddled with sleep-deprivation and stress, but they are the last things on his mind. Unimportant compared the chance that Erik may be troubled.
You know you can tell me anything, right?
Yes, Erik answers, Of course. But Erik doesn't say anything else, so Charles sits next to him on the sofa.
While he waits, Charles thoughts drift to other things. Much to Charles's horror, they land on his stepfather.
Before he can make any attempt to control his reactions, a tear trails down his cheek, and a small sob escapes his lips. The memories are rushing at him from all sides, like a dam has broken. His senses are assaulted by his childhood terror, Kurt Marko, the reason for him mother's suicide, and the reason Charles lost control (and perhaps, the trigger for Onslaught.) Someone is calling his name- Erik is here too, Charles remembers.
"Charles? Charles, are you alright?" The metal bender has his sea-green eyes trained on the telepath, and one hand is clamped on Charles' shoulders.
"I'm fine," he half-snaps, half-chokes. Erik looks slightly hurt for the tiniest of moments, before turning stone-faced.
Damn it Charles, Erik thinks, and Charles hears, Don't be so fucking prideful, that's my job!
"Charles," Erik says aloud, the warning in his voice evident, "You're not okay." CHarles grits his teeth.
"Neither are you," Charles answers, because he has nothing else to say. Erik bites his lip, because he already knows he is not okay. Neither of them are okay. Erik sighs.
"Show me," he says. Charles's fingers hover at his temple, asking if Erik meant it as Charles thought he did. Erik nods his consent.
Erik is experiences Charles's nightmare, and Charles Erik's.
Erik's breathing slows down from the heart-pounding pace induced by the horror attached to Charles's nightmare. Charles's lip quivers after experiencing Erik's terrible dream.
"Who is that-" Erik shudders, "Who is that horrible man?"
"Was," croaks an almost guilty looking Charles. "Who was that man." Charles doesn't look, not being able to bear looking at Erik. "His name was Kurt Marko. He was my stepfather."
"That's so- I can't believe-" Erik's fists tightened in anger. Charles' hand shot to his temple.
Calm your mind, my friend, please!
"No," Erik hisses, "It's not fair for someone as good as you to be treated like that." Charles shook his head. He looked up at Erik with wide eyes, bordering on child-like.
"Erik. My dear friend. You say that about me, but what of yourself? Surely you do not believe yourself worthless enough to deserve what you underwent at Shaw's hand?" Because it was true. It had taken Charles far too long to realize it, but Erik didn't believe himself of undeserving of the way Shaw treatment. Hate the man he may, but Erik spoke solely of revenge. Never once had he complained. He had talked of the pain he had endured, but only now did Charles realize just how much Erik really believed himself to be a monster.
For a moment, Charles's big, blue, childish eyes lock with Erik's stormy, tired, green-grey ones. They're silent for a minute.
And then Charles sobs again. Before either party can tell what has happened, Charles is sobbing into Erik's neck. Erik's arms snake around the younger man's waist. Erik's chin rests on Charles's shoulder, and he cries silent tears of his own.
That's how they stay that way for a while, until both are asleep.
That's also how they are found in the morning.
"Sind Sie bereit, Erik?" = "Are you ready, Erik?"
"Nein, bitte Herr Doktor, haben Sie Erbarmen!" = "No, please Doctor, have mercy!"
"Das ist nur zu deinem Besten, Erik..." = "This is for your own good, Erik."
A/N: Hmmm... Better than the original. Still rushed? Please review.