This chapter was hard to write. References and allusions galore. Some are very obvious, but I hope a few are harder to guess.

I only write Harry Potter stuff here but I'm sure most of you, like myself, are fans of a number of other things. Sometimes writers like telling stories that utilise characters or elements from more than just one work. Sometimes they can be good. Other times you get what I've written below.


Crazy Crossovers

"I believe it's time," said Professor Dumbledore to Professor McGonagall as he got up from his seat. "Ladies and gentlemen, let the annual Hunger Games begin!"

"Albus, for the last time, stop calling the opening feast the Hunger Games!"

Just as the students were about to tuck into their meal however, there was an explosion in the middle of the hall. Amidst the smoke and the coughs, voices were heard.

"My, this isn't where I intended to go at all. What's wrong with this thing?"

The mist cleared, and a man in a tweed jacket and a bow tie emerged from his peculiar mode of transportation.

"Is… is that a police box?" wondered Hermione aloud.

"Oh, this?" said the man, beaming. "It's actually a –"

"Hold it!" said McGonagall, standing and pointing her wand at the strange man. "Who are you?"

"Please, Minerva," said Dumbledore, gesturing to her seat. "Everything's quite alright. He's an old friend."

"Albus!" said the man, beaming at the headmaster. "Good to see you!"

"Likewise, my friend," smiled Dumbledore. "Please, help yourself to the feast."

"There aren't any pears, are –"

He was interrupted by the sudden appearance of two young men, who were grinning.

"Awesome! The Dreamatorium's working again!"

"What the hell is going on?" said Harry, staring at the strange scene ahead of him.

At that very moment, a bright light shone behind him. A portal opened, and out stepped the strangest sight – a purple horse.

"Oh Celestia! I think I used the wrong spell!"

Harry gaped. "Hermione, do you understand any of this?"

Hermione opened her mouth, but whatever she said next was drowned out by the screams of an oranged-horned, pale-skinned troll.

"私はあなたの歯の間に私の乳首を感じるようにしたい。"

"Gesundheit?" offered Ron.

"That's not even proper Japanese!" said an outraged Hermione.

The man took a seat next to Neville at Gryffindor table.

"Are you an alien?" he asked, wide-eyed.

"Well, I regenerated into this body, but I suppose in the strictest sense of the term –"

"Cool! I'm a reincarnation too!" said a bald adolescent child, who seemed to have blue arrows painted on his skin. He appeared out of nowhere and seemed to be flying around the hall with a glider.

"Hey!" shouted Filch, shaking a fist at the boy. "No hang-gliding in the dining hall!"

"Professor Dumbledore," Harry groaned, turning to face the white-haired man behind him. "This is insane."

"Who's Dumbledore? I am Gandalf, and you shall not pass!"

"Sir!"

"Jeez," said Dumbledore. "Just trying to make light of the situation."

"Wow…" said Hermione, turning red as she eyed the man in front of her.

He was impossibly fast, and strong. His skin was pale white and ice cold. His eyes changed colour. And sometimes he spoke like – like he was from a different time. He never ate or drank anything. He never went out in the sunlight. And somehow just by looking at him Hermione knew all of these details.

"I know what you are," she said, biting her lower lip.

"Oh, come on!" yelled Ron. "This guy is bad news, Hermione."

"No! I can reform him as we bond together in a school club! We're going to Regionals!"

A few steps away two men seemed to be duelling with glowing swords.

"Luke, I am your father!"

"That's not even the right line!"

Harry sighed, and closed his eyes. It was no use; he still heard the most absurd things.

"Beam me up, Scotty!"

"We've had a break-in at Baker Street!"

"It's gonna be legen–"

"Dattebayo!"

"Hmm…" muttered Dumbledore, as he looked at the school implode around him. "Maybe I shouldn't have tried that blue meth…"


A billion points to anyone who can list all the references. Should be rather difficult, even though I did search the web for "biggest fandoms" and chose things from the list. Suggested by Mskayyy, B0nk3rs and Biotite.

Reviews from Okinawa Angel, Twigon Halolover, Beau2809, Oh I am Slain, Mister Jackkkk, To the TARDIS, lovebites123, Sara Wolfe, srhittson, ineverhadapony, Kaotsu, Victoria Wu, taiShafie, TheEagleFeatherQuill, Little Miss Thalia Grace, theharrypotterworld and HolleyS helped us get over 500 reviews. Thank you all so much.

From your comments, I get the impression that there are much weirder things out there. Truth is stranger than fiction, after all. Except that all of this is fiction. Well, my stuff's based on truth in fiction. I guess. Whatever the case, let me know of the weirdest crossfic you've read.

~ Eight