Must just say a huge big thank you for the reviews etc for the last chapter of this, it seemed to get really a rather high amount I was pleasantly shocked! Thank you lovlies it makes me so happy to hear you're enjoying this! :D
Just a quick note before you read this chapter, some of it may be a little bit slightly rather M rated…it was an accident, apparently that's what I get for letting River get hold of a mobile phone. Sorry!
Hope you enjoy!
The three of them are dining in style today, the Doctor's treat. Frankly, he owed it to Amy and Rory after the last adventure which ended (after a lot of running) in the three of them landing in a pool of glue, yes actual glue the Doctor had sworn was merely cloudy water before they'd jumped. Still it had enabled them to escape but really he hadn't been able to blame them for the bad mood when they'd finally tumbled into the Tardis.
So he'd promised them a peaceful trip and had taken them (actually landing where he'd intended) to a beautifully lavish restaurant in New New York, far in their future, where you could literally only get a table if you were royalty or booked six years in advance (or owned a piece of psychic paper.)
They three were having a lovely time once Amy stopped worrying about not having dressed up enough and were chatting easily and happily, enjoying the atmosphere and the rare peace.
The Doctor sat back in his chair, laughing at a joke Rory had fired off when suddenly his jacket beeped and vibrated. He jumped, patted his pocket frantically until he located a small object which he pulled out and threw onto the table. It turned out to be the sleek mobile phone River had given him last time she'd seen him because she was fed up with him not answering the Tardis phone.
"Oh." He picked up the phone and read the words '1 new message' on the screen and touched the 'open' button.
Want to see you 058-11.456 23/08/5132 20.32 xx
He sighed and quickly tapped in a response.
Can't right this minute, be there soon as I can.
He tucked the phone back into his pocket, ignoring Amy's inquisitive look and picked up his menu. "Decided what you're having then Ponds? I hear the roasted antelope is splendid here." He jumps again when his pocket vibrates once more.
"Since when do you have a phone?" Asks the redhead.
"What?" He asks distractedly as he takes out the phone to read the message. "I can have a phone, everyone has a phone - you have a phone."
You better be - I'm waiting - and don't mess up the co-ordinates I only have this hotel suite for tonight x
"Yeah but - you don't - and since when do you text?" She continues as he taps away on the phone.
"I text! Everyone texts!"
He presses send and puts the phone down on the table.
Unbelievably quickly, the phone beeps and buzzes on the table. Amy and Rory give him a suspicious look.
Yes. You, me, hotel suite to ourselves…think we can find something to do? Xx
The Doctor realises he's smirking and quickly wipes it off his face, glancing up to check his companions hadn't seen - thankfully the waiter is just walking past and they are busy trying to catch his attention. The young man hurries over and the Doctor puts his phone subtly face down on the table as the three order their meals. When the waiter is gone he picks the phone up and quickly types a reply.
Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson?
His head snaps up as he presses send and he looks at Amy who's watching him with narrowed eyes. "What? Nothing."
"Who are you texting?"
"I'm not!" He quickly replies automatically. "Well…I was. But it's no-one. Just a friend. Oh look - see that man over there? He's the King of the USA."
"What?" Amy and Rory whip round to gape, and are suitably distracted, soon firing questions the Doctor answers gladly.
The phone beeps loudly with another buzz and he opens the message while still distractedly answering a question.
Another comment like that and I'm putting my clothes back on! X
The Doctor falters mid sentence, his eyes going a bit wide as he reads the text. He quickly recovers before Amy can say anything and thankfully manages to continue his sentence, pointing something else out that distracts them from his brief fluster. When they're not looking he types a frantic reply.
Stop texting - bad time x
He puts the phone down and tries to forget about curls and hotel suits, throwing himself into conversation with his friends. (His friends who also happen to be the parents of said person he's trying not to think of.)
They order food and chat easily, five minutes or so pass before his phone beeps and buzzes on the table again. Huffing a bit, he picks it up and opens the message.
It will definitely be a bad time if you don't get here asap - patience is not my strong suit sweetie xx
Resisting the urge to snort he responds quickly.
Couldn't agree more x
"Who are you texting?" It's Rory this time, looking both curious and suspicious at the same time.
"No-one. It's nobody," he says flippantly, putting the phone back down.
"I didn't even know you could text, it's a bit weird actually…" Rory comments, his brow furrowing.
The Doctor scoffs. "Of course I can text, I've existed through all of time and space, I've been fifty billion years into your future and you think I wouldn't be able to work a silly twenty-first century communication device?"
"Well, yeah," says Amy. "I guess you could but it's just odd that you do…"
The phone buzzes as another text arrives and she frowns, watching his eyes go a bit wide as he reads the message.
I mean it. I'm gonna start without you if you don't hurry…x
"And who is it?" She demands, stretching over the table to try and read the screen; he hurriedly angles it away from her, into his chest.
"Just a friend!" He claims.
"Yeah but who?" She asks with such disbelief that he scowls across the table at her.
"A friend, I have friends apart from you two you know, sorry to burst your bubble but you're not the only important people in the world to me."
A temporary sulky silence has fallen over the table, allowing the Doctor to text a response in peace, starting to feel a little cross with River for the trouble she's causing him.
Stop it. Be there soon as I can - stop texting me!
Thankfully, River seems to have got the message (literally) and the phone remains incognito on the table in front of the Doctor for a while. Their meals arrive, and the three begin eating, having forgotten about their annoyance in light of the great food.
The Doctor is halfway through raising another forkful of the pasta dish he has in front of him to his mouth when his phone buzzes with a beep again. His elbow resting on the table, he glances down at the phone with a sigh, opening the message with his other hand.
Sorry can't help it honey. I'm thinking of what we're gonna do when you get here and it's making me wet xx
His fork drops to the plate, bounces with a clang and lands on the floor, clattering loudly enough to make several nearby tables turn round and tut at him. Red-faced, he apologises, ignoring Rory's rolling eyes and Amy's cheeky complaint of, "can't take him anywhere!"
He bends to pick his fork up, taking the phone with him under the table to hurriedly text a response.
Not appropriate River Song - I'm in a restaurant with your bloody parents!
He angrily hits the send button and pops back up with an exclamation of, "found it!" Holding his fork up with a grin inducing more eye-rolling from his companions. He discreetly sets the phone to 'silent' under the table and leaves it on his lap as he resumes eating, knowing there will be a reply. Sure enough, two minutes and it vibrates softly and he opens and reads the message under the table, pretending to scratch his leg.
Oh are you? And now you're thinking about fucking me…that must be awkward ;) xx
He chokes a bit, manages to pass it off as a coughing fit and growls quietly under his breath, knowing she was laughing aloud as she wrote that last one, that wicked grin of hers on her face as she thinks about his reaction.
I'm doing no such thing!
The text is typed fast and crossly, and he is still frowning when he returns his attention back to his dinner (and certainly not because she'd been right.)
The reply is quick.
No? Sure you're not thinking about your hands on my naked body, my leg curled round your waist as you thrust deep inside me? X
The Doctor needs to tell himself how to breathe for a few moments, (in, out, in, out) because he almost forgets. His face is burning, he knows it, and he flails about a bit, pretending to cough, wiping his mouth with his napkin and scooting his chair further into the table. Amy and Rory thankfully ignore him, used to his fidgety nature, as they chat happily about something or other and so the Doctor crossly texts back beneath the table, wondering why he was even indulging this ridiculous whim of hers. Texting was stupid anyway. Texting was a ridiculous form of communication and a waste of time.
I'm thinking about what I'm gonna do when I get my hands on you Miss Song!
He realises too late as he presses send that he worded that text entirely wrong.
It takes approximately twelve seconds for the reply, and although brief it still makes him flush.
Oh sweetie…;) xxxxxx
He quickly sends another one back.
I meant that you're going to pay for this and you know it.
Oh yes, bet you'll punish me well for this one my love, tell me what you're gonna do xx
She doesn't give him a chance to reply (he has to eat some of his dinner and pretend to be interested in the conversation or they're going to realise he's up to something) before his phone is vibrating again.
Spank me? You know I love a bit of that…or I'll let you play with my handcuffs if you like...xxx
I won't even be coming if you don't pack it in!
Oh don't worry sweetie. I'll be making sure you come tonight ;) xx
He doesn't reply to that one for a few minutes, eating quietly as he silently wonders about her amazing ability to twist everything he says into something sexual. He waits until Amy and Rory don't seem to be paying him any attention til he texts again.
You are a very bad girl.
The reply is instant.
You love it xxx
Do not. Making me think bad thoughts about you when I'm sitting across from your parents!
Really? Like what? Xx
Make me :P x
I would if I was there…x
Oh I want you here now. Want your hands on me so much, want you to take these knickers off baby, they're soaked for you xx
Oh hell, River…I thought you didn't have any clothes on! :P
I don't sweetie. Just my underwear xx
He was gone. He suddenly no longer cared that he was in an incredibly posh restaurant with River's parents, only that she was sitting in a hotel suit somewhere, in her underwear, texting him. And texting was brilliant, texting was the best thing ever.
What colour is it? X
I want to be there now! X
What would you do if you were here? Xx
Take it off. Strip you naked. Kiss you xx
I'd kiss you back. Pull you on top of me, beg you to touch me xx
You'd beg? X
Oh for you honey, yes, I would beg. What would you do next? Xx
Kiss you everywhere. Tell you how much I want you x
You'd know how much I want you too, when you feel between my legs. I'm so hot for you I'll come in your hand before we even get your clothes off xxx
Dinner and twenty minutes pass, and the texts become increasingly long in length and dirty in nature. The Doctor is sure his face must be very flushed by now and he is extremely glad he happens to be currently sitting down behind a table because his trousers are becoming increasingly uncomfortable.
Although he thinks them blissfully unaware, Amy and Rory have, of course, noticed him texting away frantically beneath the table in between mouthfuls of his dinner. They've ignore it, rolling their eyes and sharing looks as they try to keep the conversation going without much of his input.
A waiter takes their plates away and asks if they want desert.
"Yes!" The Doctor says, a little too enthusiastically. "Desert, definitely!" There's certainly no way he can get up from the table just yet…
Their menus arrive again, and they order, and once the waiter leaves the Doctor looks down to fire another text away and Amy huffs dramatically.
"You know Doctor, if our company's that boring we can all just go back to the Tardis!" She snaps. His head shoots up to look at her.
"What? No - what?"
"You've been texting all through dinner! It's rude - you really need to work on your social skills."
"What? No I haven't!" He claims, going a bit red.
"You've got your phone on your lap, Doctor," Rory says.
"Yes you have!"
"No, I haven't."
Amy stands to lean over the table to look and panic flashes through the Doctor's mind at the thought of her looking down at his lap and seeing something he definitely doesn't want her seeing. Hurriedly, he picks the phone up and slams it on the table in front of him, making her sit down with an 'I knew it,' face, and glare at him.
"Fine," he says, scooting his chair in closer to the table. "I just had to reply to something. Done now, sorry. You have my undivided attention Ponds."
His undivided attentions lasts all of four minutes, before the phone buzzing on the table in front of him becomes impossible to ignore.
"Sorry," he mutters quickly, grabbing the phone. "I'll just, uh…turn it off…"
"Alright let me see that!" Amy suddenly exclaims and before he has a chance to react, reaches over and snatches the phone from his hands.
"No!" He grabs for it but she's leaning back in her chair, phone held away from him and eyes on the screen as she begins to read.
"Let's see…'I'm so close now, I can't take much more, your hands on my breasts and your -' Oh my God Doctor!" In horror, Amy closes the message and throws the phone down on the table, her eyes wide as saucers and jaw dropped open.
"What?" Rory chokes out in shock.
"That's private Amelia Pond!" The Doctor splutters, his face deep scarlet, his arms floundering around as he wills the bloody floor to open up and swallow him whole.
"I can see that!" She exclaims, loud enough that a few tables nearby turn to see what the commotion is. "Who the hell…oh God. I don't even wanna know!"
"That - it's just - just, someone I know - poet! Very good poet, likes to write poetry, sends it to me for opinions - some of it's a bit naughty but -"
"Er - yeah, understatement," injects Amy.
"Yes - well," he stammers, lying desperately. "I don't ask for them to send it to me I just apparently am a good judge of poetry, my opinion is highly valued so uh…"
"So wait," says Rory. "You're telling us you've been reading poetry someone's been sending you via text for the last half hour?
Amy is looking at him dubiously with narrowed eyes. "And who is this friend who's writing this poetry?"
"Oh - nobody you'd know. Somebody from this planet, light-years away from earth, way, way in your future, nobody really, just someone I met once, bit of a weirdo really but there you go that's poets for you…"
The phone buzzes on the table and all three pairs of eyes fall to it as the main screen lights up with a little alert box for all to see.
1 new message
The Doctor pales and then goes very red. Amy and Rory glare at him for a horrible moment, broken only when the waiter comes with their deserts. Probably sensing the tense atmosphere at the silent table, the waiter deposits their deserts in front of them and scuttles very quickly away.
There is a further awkward silence and then Amy clears her throat.
"So…our daughter's a poet now is she, Doctor?"
"Uhhh," stutters the Doctor, "- what? Oh - look! It's a text from River! Haven't heard from her in a while!"
They are buying none of it.
He frowns at them, picking up his fork and trying to pretend his face isn't bright red with mortification. "What?"
"Are you seriously trying to pretend all those other texts weren't from River?"
"Wh - what! Of course they weren't, don't be silly Ponds, River doesn't write poetry." He says as he shovels a forkful of chocolate gateau into his mouth. Amy and Rory haven't touched their desert yet.
"No," Amy agrees. "She doesn't."
The Doctor frowns. "I don't know what you're trying to say."
Quick as a flash, Amy scoops his phone up an holds it up in front of her. "So if I open this message it's gonna be something completely unrelated to that one I just read?
"No!" Panicked, he grabs for the phone.
Knowing he is truly done for, the Doctor throws his fork down on the plate, tucking the offending phone safely inside his pocket, silently cursing it - stupid communication device anyway, texting was the worst thing ever invented! "Damn you Pond!" He mutters, face still scarlet red. "I'm going to kill River for this." Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he pushes his chair back and gets up from the table, throwing down a gold coloured card in front of his companions. "This will take care of the bill, I'll be back in half an hour."
They frown after him as he marches away.
"Where are you going?"
"To kill River!"
Amy and Rory look at each other, sitting in silence for several moments.
Amy is the first to speak. "I'm never gonna be able to send you another dirty text again."
Looking traumatised, Rory shakes his head. "Please don't."
Hehe I had fun with this one.
Two quick things, firstly who watched AK in Upstairs Downstairs last night? I loved her but was a bit bored with the rest of the episode to be honest, hopefully it will improve once the series gets going though : )
Also, I may possibly have recently stumbled upon a few pieces of Matt Smith/Alex Kingston fan fiction, and against my will rather liked it, and may have been inspired to attempt my own… RPF (real person fiction) is something I've always been slightly opposed to but gah…somehow it happened. Just wondering if anyone would be interested if I posted it up?
Please let me know what you thought of the chapter sweeties! Take care xxx