Byron's New Look
Disclaimer: I do not own Witch and Wizard.
Warnings: T for sexual references, however vague and possible language.
A/N: For the record I have absolutely nothing against Rock stars or Surfers, I just thought Byron might have that outlook on their appearance. Because he's weird like that but anyway on with the story!
"I don't know about this Sasha." He had a very strange look on his face. It was almost gleeful.
"Trust me man, girls love the 'rocker' look." Somehow these words were not quite as reassuring as he thought they were.
"This is Wisty. Not some girl." She is in no way a typical teenage girl and my feelings for her are far from ordinary.
"Have you noticed how punk Wisty is?" With the buzz cut and drumstick it's pretty obvious. I know the buzz cut wasn't really voluntary but she makes it look good.
"And have any of your previous attempts borne fruit?" Sometimes Sasha says really weird things. Kind of like an old man.
"Has anything else you've done up to this point worked?" She looks at me like I'm a stalker or a serial killer. So I'm gonna say 'no'.
"Then trust me Byron. Wisty would never date a slick haired bean counter." I don't think very many girls would and I know of none from my personal experience.
"And you think she would date some no account 'bad boy' with zilch chance at a future?" They may look good in high school but eventually the smoking and drinking catches up to them. Have you ever looked at a fifty year old tattoo? Nasty.
"Why?" Rotten teeth, saggy skin, and blood shot eyes are not attractive.
"All the girls are doing it." And how would he know?
"Dating losers?" Because what else do you call someone who drops out of high school?
"How do you think I get dates?"
"By being yourself?" I only said it because I had to do something. Trust me no one is that naive.
"No by looking like a beach bum." If that is true then girls are very weird.
"I thought that was your usual style." Seeing as how he wears the same thing every day. Well not the exact same thing but close enough. Cargo shorts and sleeveless T-shirts define his wardrobe.
"I have to stay in character."
"Even during sex?"
"..." Wow that's a loaded silence. Awwwkward...
"You're a virgin?" Okay so sometimes I'm a jerk...well most of the time.
"No. Are you?"...Yeah but I'm not going to admit it. Not to you anyway, you'd probably blab to Wisty and how lame would I look then? Not that it could get much worse but still...
"That's so surfer. I told you. Rocker!" Like I care that there's a difference? I mean one loser is the same as any other. Can't tell fleas apart can you? Same thing. But I might as well make some effort.
"Right. Hell no bitch!" So foul mouth? Check. Attitude? Check.
"That's better but you're still kinda metal." Is there a persona for every music genre?
"Okay...Man you're tripping?"
"More Hendrix less Marley!" I said MAN not MON. But whatever.
"Drop dead?" It may surprise you but more than a few people have told me this. In the last year alone...
"Much better. Now for your hair." So glad I have your approval.
"What's wrong with it?"
"It's shiny." And neat and organized. Perfect in every way.
"Girls like shiny!" Or at least my sister did. To be honest I don't like thinking about her much now. People may call me a rat or more often a weasel but never have I felt so low as when I turned her over to The One. Some great brother I am.
"When it involves jewelry or their hair."
"Whatever." Hair is hair no matter what this idiot says.
"See? You're already playing the part!"
"But seriously? It needs some work. She liked your look at the concert."
"Really? I didn't get that vibe." I wasn't in top form. That place was stifling and I couldn't get my hair to stay down. I saw a lot of guys with messy hair and figured if I at least looked better than them everything would be fine.
"Because you were right up on her. Chicks don't like their space." Am I the only one who had trouble understanding that? They say girls are complicated but I don't think they've ever tried to understand a hyper Sasha.
"That was a total contradiction in and of itself."
"Exactly! Don't give her what she wants and she'll want it even more!"
"And how do I do that exactly?" Steal her chocolate? She'd beat me to a pulp. Whit and her have more in common than you might think.
"Ignore her." While she's kicking my ass? Not likely...
"Yes! What are you? Deaf?" Well after that concert...
"Just confused mostly."
"Do you trust me?" No, most definitely not. He's a total nutcase, but he does seem to know a lot about girls. Or maybe he just thinks he does. Either way it's more than I know.
"For the most part." About this anyway.
"Okay I'm going to let that one slide. Just give it a shot. If it tanks I give you free rein to punch me straight in the nose."
"Without dodging, evading or deflecting?"
"So I was thinking green." For the color scheme of his beach wedding? To another guy...there's no way a girl would put up with this. In fact it would have to be a weird guy...
"Green highlights in your hair. Wisty's a red head and you know red and green are Christmas colors." Do you see what I mean? I'm not off my rocker, he is!
"What does Christmas have to do with anything?"
"Girls make weird connections." Have you ever wondered how someone chose to put cheese on fries? Nowadays they seem so common...
"With holidays and hair?" Needless to say that's a lot different than putting cheese on fries.
"Now you're catching on!"
"On to what?" Well obviously I'm not catching on to anything.
"How girls think!" What else have we been talking about for the last ten minutes?
"But I thought they were a mystery that we could never unravel?" I doubt even Einstein could reason out the female psyche.
"Partly but they are predictable creatures." I think he means guys. The only thing predictable about girls is they travel in groups of two or more. But even that doesn't apply to Wisty, she ran through a building freeing kids all on her own. She's no one's lackey.
"Even Wisty?" Let's see how he handles that curve ball.
"Well no, not Wisty. She's pretty random." Random is a good word for it.
"How is this supposed to help me?"
"It's not." Thanks for being honest, even if it was a rhetorical question.
"Then why am I here?" Why are any of us here? What is our self defining purpose? What can we possibly hope to achieve?
"For me to give you a makeover." Was it just me or did his voice get a little too high and squeaky for any self respecting guy? I may look and act like a weasel, but he's the one who talks like one!
"Are you sure you're straight?"
"Absolutely." He totally broke eye contact with me. I knew it...I knew it...I knew it!
"Okay then. We'll see where this goes but if you make me look like an idiot..." If you paint my fingernails for example...
"Who do you trust?" Not you! But I can't say that...it wouldn't be very nice.
"Me! You trust me!" Not likely...No sane person would.
"Whatever you say."
Now I'm not sure if it was the crazy look in his eye or his creepy laughter that made me wary of his next words, but he definitely made me nervous.
"I guarantee you'll get the girl. My plan is foolproof!"
A/N: So will he win Wisty's heart? That was a rather cruel cliffhanger wasn't it? I didn't even get to his makeover...