A/N: A lot of effort went into this, so be nice. Here is the long awaited first chapter of my much beloved project...

Titanic: The Criminal Minds Version

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, any of its characters, or any of the dialogue (which I typed out while watching Titanic)

With its large red steam funnels, impressive height, fascinating length, and its brand new gleam, the RMS Titanic stood proudly at the dock in the Port of Southampton. People, old and young, rich and poor, crowded the landside part of the dock, waving ecstatically as their loved ones boarded the fantastic vessel. Officers, from the ship, and from the dock terminal, rushed about, checking people onto the boat, passing health inspections for the third class passengers, and making sure bags were being taken in the correct direction. To say it was like a madhouse was understating the situation.

People parted as two shiny, expensive cars pulled up on the dockside, obviously carrying passengers who were extremely wealthy. They gleamed in the sunlight, but paled in comparison to the splendour of Titanic.

A middle aged man with a drooping eyelid stepped out of the passenger seat of one of the cars. Slowly, but holding himself up proudly, he walked around to the door to allow the occupants out. He held open the door with an air of pride about him.

A handsome young man, who was none other than William LaMontagne Jr, heir to a massive fortune, stepped out of the car, removing his hat and looking up at the splendid machine which was to carry them to America. Turning around, he held out his hand to courteously help his beautiful fiancé, Jennifer DeWitt Jareau-Strauss, out of the vehicle. As she looked up, revealing her pretty face, her expression remained neutral. To anyone walking past, she was beautiful, with golden hair that fell around her shoulders, and eyes as blue as the sky, and happy, engaged to a future millionaire.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about. It doesn't look any bigger than the Mauritania," she said bluntly, clearly not interested.

"You can be blasé about some things, Jennifer, but not about Titanic. It's over 100 feet longer than Mauritania, and far more luxurious," Will replied, his thick Southern accent a surprise to any passing British people. Graciously, he helped Jennifer's mother, Erin DeWitt Jareau-Strauss, out of the car, holding her hand until she was balanced on the ground.

"Your daughter is far too difficult to impress, Erin," he said, a hint of amusement playing about his deep voice. Erin let out a small laugh, before turning to look at the fantastic ship before them.

"So this is the ship they say is unsinkable," she pondered. Will looked over his shoulder.

"It is unsinkable. God himself could not sink this ship," he said, this time, defensiveness playing about his voice rather than amusement. An elderly dock officer came running up to Will, shouting about something. As he came closer, his words became clearer.

"Sir! Sir, you have to check your baggage through the main terminal. It's round that way, sir," he instructed. Will put his hand in his pocket, and produced a few notes. Handing the man the money, he brushed him off.

"I put my faith in you good sir. Now, kindly see my man," he said flatly. The officer looked surprised.

"Yes, sir, my pleasure, sir, if I can do anything at all!" he exclaimed, slightly excited.

"Oh, yes," Will replied, walking away.

"Right," the officer muttered, a little unsure of what to do next. No sooner than that, he was approached by the middle aged man who had allowed them out of the car.

"All the trunks from that car there, 12 from here, and the safe, to the parlor suite, rooms B-52, 54, 56," he said demandingly, a hint of an Italian accent blowing through his words. In the distance, a loud whistle blew, signalling that it was getting close to departure time.

"Ladies, better hurry," Will said nonchalantly.

"My coat?" Jennifer asked, looking over her shoulder as she followed her fiancé to the boarding ramp.

"I have it, Miss," her maid replied.


The pub at the dockside was thick with cigarette smoke, and packed to the brim full of people who were anxiously waiting to see the largest ship in the world depart England. At a small, claustrophobic table in the corner sat four men, playing one the riskiest gambles in a game of cards that anyone ever saw.

"Spencer, you are crazy! You bet everything we have!" Anderson exclaimed nervously, looking at his cards. Spencer took a deep breath, and leaned into his companion.

"When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose," he replied wisely.

"You moron. I can't believe you bet out tickets!" said the larger of their playing companions, in heavy, incomprehensible Swedish.

"Sven?" Spencer asked. Sven played his move, exhaling frustratedly. Spencer slowly put a card down, and picked up another from the stack.

"All right...moment of truth. Somebody's life's about to change. Peter?" he said, leading them into the final stage. Anderson placed his cards face up on the table.

"Nothing?" Spencer asked, obviously surprised.

"Nothing," Anderson replied, sure they were about to lose everything they had.

"Olaf?" Spencer continued. Olaf placed his cards down.

"Nothing. Sven?" Spencer coaxed. Sven placed his cards confidently on the table.

"Uh-oh. Two pair. I'm sorry Peter-" Spencer started.

"You're sorry? I'm not going to see my mom! You bet all of the money!" Anderson cut it.

"I'm sorry, you're not going to see your mom again for a long time...because we're going to America! Full house boys! " Spencer yelled, throwing his cards down. Anderson looked up, ecstatic.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Spencer said excitedly, opening the sack he had for his belongings.

"Oh my god!" Anderson exclaimed, dancing around a little, waving the tickets around in the air. Spencer started to sweep the money and things they'd won into the sack, but was stopped by Olaf grabbing his collar and lifting him slightly. Olaf was cursing at him in thick Swedish. Spencer gulped as he raised his fist, preparing to punch Spencer in the face. He was surprised at the last minute when Olaf changed track and punched Sven in the face.

"Come on!" Spencer laughed.

"We're going to go home!" Anderson said excitedly.

"I'm going home!" Spencer said, hugging his friend. "I'm going to home!"

"We're going to America!"

"No mate!" the man at the counter yelled. The excitement ceased. "Titanic go to America. In five minutes!" he said, pointing to the clock. A look of shock crossed Spencer's face.

"Come on! Here, let's go!" he said hurriedly, sweeping the last of the coins into the sack. They quickly exited the building, and found the dockside covered with people. Spencer was yelling excitedly as they ran through the crowds.

"We're riding in high style now! We're a couple of regular swells! We're practically goddamn royalty!" he yelled back to Anderson.

"Yes, it's my destiny! Like I told you, I'm going back to America to be a millionaire!" Anderson shot back. They changed track, and bolted in front of a horse pulling a cart, upsetting the horse, and almost being trampled.

"Bastard!" Anderson yelled, running after Spencer. "You're crazy!"

"Maybe, but I've got the tickets!...Come on, I thought you were fast!" Spencer cried out. They found the gangway ramp, and quickly sprinted the length of it, as the officers were starting to push it away.

" Wait, wait! Hey, wait! We're passengers! Passengers!" Spencer insisted, waving the tickets around.

"Have you been through the inspection queue?" the officer asked, looking at the scruffy men with disdain.

"Of course. Anyway, we don't have any lice, we're Americans. Both of us," Spencer told him. There was a moment of hesitation.

"Right. Come on board," the officer finally decided. The two leapt the gap between the ramp and the ship, and ran down the hallways.

"We're the luckiest sons of bitches in the world, you know that!" Spencer yelled as they found a way to the top of the ship. They climbed up on the railing on the top deck, waving madly to the people below.

"Goodbye!" Spencer yelled.

"You know somebody?" Anderson asked, confused. Spencer looked at him as though he had grown an extra head.

"Of course not, that's not the point! Goodbye, I'll miss you!" he replied, turning back to the dock and waving again.

"Goodbye! I'm going to never forget you!" Anderson yelled, finally understanding.

The impressive ship steamed out of the Port of Southampton, creating waves that rocked the yachts and small fishing boats. Thousands cheered and waved as it began its maiden journey, to New York.


"360, 360, oh excuse me Ma'am, 360...oh, right here," Spencer mumbled as he counted the numbers on the door. Finding the right one, he opened the door, and gave the people inside a small wave. "Hey, how you doing? Spencer, nice to meet you. I'm Spencer Reid, nice to meet you. How you doing?" he said, introducing himself as he clapped one of the two men on the shoulder. Anderson threw his sack on the top bunk and climbed up, laughing.

"Hey, who says you get the top bunk?" Spencer teased, throwing himself on the bottom bunk. The two men gave each other a confused look.

"Var ar Sven?"

A/N: The first chapter! How'd you like it? I'm trying to adjust some of the characters so that the Criminal Minds characters are more characterised, and it's not just the Titanic characters with a different name.

Please, please, please read and review!

SQ215 xxx