So sorry guys, had some major exams recently DX
Even after they returned to the Tower Robin found that his temper hadn't subsided. He couldn't think of a logical reason why the children had to show up and ruin a perfectly good mission. It didn't help that for the entire ride back Starfire had done nothing but try to make up excuses in fact it only pissed him off further.
"Sit." Robin ordered once they were back in the large living room at the top of the tower. The living room was a mess and the wall was broken but he would have to get to that in a moment. Right now the focus was on the fact that they had gotten in the way of the only lead they had. No matter how hard Robin tried he couldn't get over the fact that Slade was right infront of them and yet he got away. At the moment the only thing that stopped him from strangling them was the emotional Tamaranian that would never let him forgive himself if he did.
The two sat and watched the other Titans gather around them. They had a feeling that they were in big trouble but at the moment that didn't matter because R.A was in some serious trouble and they knew that they would have at least had some kind of technology that could make her feel better.
Brightfire rolled her eyes when she saw Raven walked out of the room after barely taking a glance at R.A who was still unconscious on the other side of the room. Despite the fact that she was slightly concealed she knew that she had seen her so she had no excuse. It was as if she didn't care. How did she manage to become R.A's mother? R.A deserved better, she deserved someone who would love her. If they could they would have begged to have her adopted by their mother but things weren't that simple; things were never that simply.
"You guys have two seconds to start explaining." Robin threatened.
They swallowed hard; he meant business.
"Well we were all just sitting around saying that we should stay here because we would only get in the way and you know Daddy we would never want to get in your way in the first place because we respect you so much—"
"Get to the point son." Robin said through his teeth. They were making it hard for him to try being nice.
"B.J slammed us into the wall and nearly made R.A disappear for good!" Brightfire blurted.
"What?!" B.J shouted incredulously as he rose from the chair. "She was the one who blasted me with her bolts and nearly killed me!"
"Because you were bring a jerk!"
"I was not!"
"Yes you were!—"
"Hey!" Robin shouted in frustration. It was as if they were begging him to be brutal. "Focus here; now why the hell did you guys just show up out of the blue and ruin our mission?"
Brightfire sighed. "R.A needs help…s-she won't wake up…"
"What…?" Beastboy asked. He had come to see R.A as his own. When he saw the lack of care she received it got him hooked. He wanted to make her his child as well but that would have only complicated things and started arguments that he wasn't willing to enter. It was times like this that made him question why life had to be so hard.
The three looked at each other briefly before making their way over to their friend. Starfire gasped when she saw R.A lying motionless on the floor.
"What's happened to her?"
"B.J made her faint." Brightfire muttered.
"I did not!" He retorted through his teeth.
"Alright! We're not starting this again, quiet you two." Robin ordered, already seeing exactly where the conversation was headed. He had heard enough bickering. The two went silent immediately and their eyes fell on R.A once more. "Now, what's wrong with her?"
"We don't know but we know you can fix her—Daddy you have to fix her, please!" Brigthfire begged, tugging at Robin's arm. He sighed.
"Alright, let's take her down to the infirmary; someone get Raven, I think she'll wanna know."
"I doubt that." Terra muttered, more to herself than to everyone else but it was too late. They all heard and she was given nothing but disapproving stares. She raised her hands in surrender and quieted.
"I'll go get her." Beastboy said, seeing his window of opportunity.
"No," They all turned to Starfire, silently questioning the reason for her objection, "I will go get our friend. I think she will not be upset if I am the one who summons to her." Robin nodded but Beastboy couldn't help but feel the sting. What was he going to do, argue that he should have been the one to go? That would never work; especially not with Terra standing right there. Though it pained him he also nodded his agreement then watched longingly as Starfire flew out of the room.
He would just have to wait for another opportunity because this one was officially missed.
Starfire floated over to the dark door in the middle of the hall. At first she was a bit hesitant but the moment she heard sniffling she knew she couldn't waste any time. Taking a deep breath she summed up all the courage she would need then knocked on the door.
"Go away." Came the voice of a defeated Raven.
"Please friend… I would just like to speak with you for a minute. I know you are upset and I would like to make you feel better by performing the earthly ritual of consoling." Starfire waited for a moment but when she never heard a reply she began banging on the door. It flew open immediately.
"Star knock it off!" Raven screamed in frustration but before she could slam the door shut Starfire bolted inside and headed for the furthest corner. She wasn't going to just leave. She needed to get Raven down to the infirmary for the sake of little R.A. In her head things would be better if Raven could simply hold the little one and allow herself to freely love and since she had convinced herself of this there was no way she was leaving without her. "Get out." Raven said, wiping the tears from her eyes. If she could she would stop crying or Starfire would never leave.
"Please Raven, R.A needs you to—"
"If you've come to tell me about that girl then just leave because I'm not interested." She had to stop her.
"Why don't you like her?!" Starfire couldn't help but blurt out. She couldn't understand why love was so hard for Raven to come by. "How hard is it to take the little one into your arms and whisper sweets words that only a mother—"
"Yeah well guess what, I'm not her damn mother! She's not my daughter and I don't need to do anything for her." Raven retaliated. What did Starfire know? All she did was fly around tossing out that insidious phrase to whoever would listen. Love? What love? "Stop telling me what I have to do and what should come naturally, I'm not like you. I don't tell the first living organism I see that I love them. I—I don't throw out hugs like they're candy and kisses like they're chocolate! I can't do that—"
"Well why not?!"
"Damn it Star, I don't know why, what the hell are you asking me?!" She said, turning sharply so her back was now facing her.
Starfire calmed herself slightly before walking over to Raven and forcing her down unto the bed beside her. Even then Raven refused to look at her. "Why don't you do all of that friend…?" Raven rolled her eyes at being asked a question for the second time that she had already confessed to not knowing the answer to. "Please, I am just trying to understand…" She paused hoping that she would receive an answer but when she didn't that became all the answer she needed. "You are afraid, aren't you?"
"What? NO, I fear nothing."
"Except being hurt…"
Raven flashed her head around. Realizing too late that that wouldn't have helped her plea her case of denial. She decided she would try anyway. "That is the farthest thing from it."
"No…no it's not. I like to think that I am you bestfriend Raven and I've known you long enough to know that it took you a long time to open your heart to Cyborg." Raven couldn't help but cringe at the mention of his name and the memory of the relationship they once shared. "I imagine it hurt you when he left after saying all he had to say and that hurt is what is keeping you from loving again, even loving in the simplest form such as the love of a mother." Raven looked up at her, wondering how she could have gotten all that. It was true that of all the Titans Starfire was the only one who really knew very much about her thoughts; courtesy of all the forced sleepovers were she was tricked into speaking what was on her mind but she didn't think that it was so obvious on her part. Starfire's expression softened even more. "And it's that hurt that's keeping you from loving Beastboy, isn't it?
"Star—" Was that obvious too?!
"You do not have to pretend around me friend—" A smile suddenly jumped unto her face, "in fact we must have a sleepover to discuss this pressing issue as well!" Optimism was rising steadily in her and the conversation had now taken on a different tone. Leave it to Starfire to be able to do that. "But for now we must go see the little one and see if Robin has fixed her and made her all better!" She said, jumping up and pulling Raven to her feet.
No sooner than she did that did Raven snatch away from her. "No stop!"
Starfire gave her a puzzled look. "What has troubled your mind now?"
She sighed heavily. "I—I don't know what to do…or how to react to her…no matter what I do it will be wrong."
The Tamaranian smiled. "That's not true, no matter what you do it will be right, don't be afraid to let yourself love her, she's only a small one and doesn't know how to hurt others as yet. That's the thing with children, they love unselfishly and don't know how to hurt…but the next thing is… they hurt easily…" Star gave her a serious look. "You should at least try. Brightfire told me that she'll disappear if this continues and I don't want them to lose a friend. Friends are everything and I know that if I lose you I will be sad…"
Without another word being passed between the two Starfire pulled her from the room and led her down the hall. She took her to the infirmary where everyone was standing at the bedside of R.A. For a moment Raven had to stand at the door and take a deep breath to prevent any tears from escaping. Whereas she was half okay with Starfire seeing her cry she wasn't prepared to share that side of herself with anyone else. Seeing her hesitation Starfire gave her a gentle nudge into the room before herself stepping in.
R.A twitched but didn't wake up.
"C-can I have a moment with her?" Raven muttered with her eyes firmly planted to the floor. She couldn't meet their accusing stares, especially not Terra's.
"Sure thing…"Robin began hesitantly. He figured that Starfire must have said something to her to get her to actually want to be in the same room as R.A and that was all he needed to see. There was improvement, she was trying and he was going to help her. "Come on Titans." Slowly the Titans piled out of the room until Raven was the only one left the now faded child. She looked down at her and could see her finger move slightly. Maybe this was all a mistake. Now that she was here she didn't know what she would say to her or what she would do.
"Mommy…?" The voice was frail and barely audible.
For the first time in the young girl's life she received an answer to this call. "Yes…?" Raven's voice came in a near whisper and was filled with uncertainty.
"H-Have you come to watch me die…?"
"What?" She wasn't understanding.
A loud cough resonated from the inside of R.A, shaking her ribs and shaking her. "I feel cold…it won't be much longer..'til I'm…" She swallowed hard and a single tear drop rolled down her small cheek. " 'til I'm gone and even though I know you won't miss me…" She stopped to couch again. This time, as she did her colours began to fade. "I'm still glad that I got to meet you…you're pretty…and smart…and tough…If I was going to live then I would want to be like you…"
"Stop talking like." Raven said, averting her gaze. She couldn't do it. She couldn't sit there and watch the little girl fade; not when she knew it was her fault. If she hadn't been so cold to here then she might have had a fighting chance. Now there was nothing she could do.
This time she couldn't bring herself to answer. There was a knot at her throat that she couldn't dislodge and she could feel the tears building again. If she just walked away then she wouldn't have to watch this. She wouldn't have to see her go but she couldn't get up; she couldn't leave her.
"Mommy…can I stay in your lap until I go? I—I've seen the others sitting in their mommies' laps and I want…to know how it feels too…please?" Raven pressed her eyes shut and squeezed her eyes shut. What was the right answer? Before she could think of it she felt a small hand fall on her. Looking up for the first time since she realized she was fading she saw that R.A had somehow gotten on her knees and was leaning over towards her. She watched as the girl use the little strength she had left to crawl into her arms and rested her head against her chest. "The others were wrong…"
"About what?" She asked, pushing back the tears as best as she could. Only the shakiness in her voice gave away her true feelings.
"They said you were cold...but you feel pretty warm to me…and you know what else…I think I found your heart Mommy…" She reached up and began playing with a lock of her hair. She had never known just how silky it was but she was glad she got to find out. The texture was soothing to her and she forced he fingers to run through it. "I like this…it's really comfortable." Now she knew why the others did it so often.
Raven let out a gasp when the girl suddenly felt so much lighter. Looking down she realized that she could only see the outline and R.A's fingers had stopped moving. Her chest was moving but it looked like it was taking her a lot of effort.
"No…R.A no, please don't leave me. I'm sorry I haven't been a good mother. I'll try I promise; I can love you, I can." All she could hear was the heavy breathing in response. "No please, please, stay with me. I can change." She broke out into wild sobs. She didn't want to lose her. It wasn't her fault that she was never loved. She deserved life, not to be faded and destroyed. Through her sobs she kept begging but it seemed the more she did was the more the girl faded.
Before long there was nothing….