Title: A Stork Delivery
Author: Erika aka chinae
Beta: jigsaws231
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Owned by Marvel, Stan Lee, etc.
Prompt: Sometimes, Loki just doesn't think some of his plans through as much as he should. For example: He overhears one Tony Stark mentioning the thought of having kids terrifies him. Most people would think seducing Tony for the sole purpose of getting pregnant with his kid just for the Lolz would be going too far. Turns out, Tony is only terrified at first... once he gets used to the idea though...

His fantastic awesome prank now backfired in his face, Loki wants to go pout (and maybe raise the little hellspawn a Loki/Tony combination is sure to be) and be miserable. Now, Tony has to seduce his Baby Mama to come back so they can raise their hellspawn together/in shared custody/not to be a evil magic-using, super genius (Good magic-using, super genius is fine though.) Bonus Points for Thor trying to get a shotgun wedding going. Doesn't have to be a cracky as I made it sound. XD

It is not like Tony has not thought about this before. What it would be like to have a son. Would he be like his father, the absentee-dad, or would he be something better, worthy?

With each relationship that ends due to betrayal, overprotective fathers, husbands coming back from the dead, or women who have problems with Tony's inability to be exclusive, thoughts of fatherhood seem farfetched.

There will be no Stark Jr. or Antonia to carry on his legacy.

It will end with him or so he believes.

But that doesn't explain why he's now standing in front of all these witnesses about to baptize his son, Jack.

Maybe he should start at the beginning.

Once upon a time, there was a god by the name of Loki ...

"You have brought this upon yourself, brother," Thor argues with Loki, ignoring the pout on his brother's lips. Thor crosses his arms and looks sternly on. "Mother asks if you need anything -"

Loki rubs his pregnant belly, scowling back at him all the while. "Is she angry?" he finally asks.

"Mother, never," Thor reassures him. "She would prefer you were back in Asgard, where she'd be able to care of you."

Loki scoffs. "As if All-Father would allow that."

Thor lets a smirk appear upon his face. "Father bends to mother's will Loki."

They both share a smile.

Thor sighs and sits down next to his brother. "What is wrong, Loki?" he watches as Loki places his hands protectively around his belly. "Does the father not accept this child?" there is dire warning in his voice for the still to be named father.

Loki just shrugs, in a dejected fashion.

Thor stands up, ready to defend his brother's honour. "Tell me his name, and I'll make sure this fiend pays for his wickedness."

"Thor -"

"I will string him up by his balls -"

"Thor -"

"Whip him for good measure -"

"Brother -"

Abruptly Thor stops pacing and he asks in a worried tone. "It is not Doctor Doom, is it?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "Seriously, brother."

Thor hurries on. "You do seem quite friendly with him, brother."

"I believe his armour prevents that from happening, Thor."

"So you have tried -"

"Focus here," Loki reprimands.

Thor looks sheepishly back at his brother. Loki lets out a sigh and Thor again sits back down next to him.

After a time, Loki reveals. "I have not informed the sperm donor of my current affliction."

"Loki -"

Loki glares at Thor as if to say Do you want to hear this or not? Admonished, Thor nods his head for Loki to continue.

"He is from Midgard, brother, and you know how strange these creatures are."

"He knows not that you are a J├Âtunn?" Thor theorizes.

"Oh, no. He knows what I am, but it is one thing to know and another thing to truly know."

In a quiet voice, Thor asks. "You fear he will not react favourably to this child?"

Loki refuses to look at Thor.

Thor holds his brother's hand, in the same manner he has always done when Loki has need of him.

"This child you carry will be loved and welcomed. If this Midgardian cannot accept this, well, more fool is he," Thor reassures.

"Mother truly wishes me back at Asgard?" Loki leans his cheek on his brother's shoulder.

"If father wishes to awaken from his next Odinsleep, he better make it so."

Loki chuckles and Thor too laughs.

All will end well, for Thor has decreed it to be.

It takes months but finally Thor, with the help of Jane and her handy Midgardian technology, have identified his nephew's father.

Jane sits him down and makes him promise that he'll not go and hunt down the other man. That he will listen to the man's explanations, give him a chance to make amends, and then perhaps hurt him, a bit, somewhat.

Thor flies back to the Avenger headquarters located on top of Stark Tower.

He is dripping wet, for he has flown in the storm that has followed him from Jane's place to here.

"Thor, buddy -"

And those are the only words Stark is able to say as Thor crosses the room, slamming the other man against the wall.


"Thor?" Tony gasps, hands coming up, trying to break away from Thor's strong grip.


"Thor -"


The grip on Tony's throat tightens.

"Hey! What is going on here?" Steve rushes over to separate both men.

"Stand back, Steve Rogers."

"Not until you tell me why you're chocking the life out of him," Steve stands guard in front of Tony.

"He has dishonoured my family -" Thor explains.

"Wow, what?" Tony chokes out. "What dishonour?"

Thor throws a paper at Tony. "Explain this, you scoundrel!"

Tony reads the document. A DNA sheet with the word parent Loki Laufeyson and co-parent Anthony Edward Stark.

"I - I don't understand," He looks at Thor and then at Steve. "Parent?" he stares down at the paper, as if still trying to decipher its meaning.

"My nephew. Your son," Thor informs him.

"What?" Tony steps back and leans against the wall. "Son?" In shock, he slides down to the ground. "Oh. My. God."

"You will make things right, or I swear by all that is holy, Mjolnir will end you."

How does one court a god?

Tony finds out that it is a slow, painful process, followed by many missteps, overzealous brothers, overprotective in-laws, with future step-children who promise dire things would befall him should he not make their father happy.

Standing here, holding his son who has burped all over Tony's favourite suit, he finds the pain and threats to his well-being are worth it.

Tony knows, he will likely die of blue balls as Loki is still not putting out, and should he step out of line Thor will smite him but none of that seems to matter. Well, it does a bit. Perhaps when Loki finally relents he'll be able to convince him that Jack needs a little brother or sister. Someone to play tag with, to tumble and wrestle. To share secrets.

He takes a napkin and wipes Jack's burp from his shoulder. The little rascal just smiles, for a moment there his eyes sparkle. Like he knows a secret. Tony almost drops him.

Maybe one good magic-using, super genius baby is enough.