Serene and Graceful
Al Gough was dead.
Working at the FBI was not for the light hearted, everyone knew that from the crime shows, though they did dramatize the process a fair amount.
Demetri had seen many people die. Friends, people who had family, another member of the office dedicated to serving their country. But this was different. So terribly different it terrified him to his very core.
Al Gough had jumped off the roof because of his flashforward. To save a women's life that he'd never met, but whose life he considered more valuable than his own. Demetri wondered if he could ever have done something like that. He was scared of death, he had admitted it to himself finally. He acted brave in front of everyone, trying not to be pessimistic, or just break down sobbing with fear.
But today, he was shaken. He could remember oh so clearly the way Al had gracefully fallen, just closing his eyes and leaning forward. He wondered what the fall must have felt like. Was it an adrenaline rush, or just a gentle, serene fall to meet his maker.
Demetri did not consider himself a particularly religious man, but when knowing the date of his own death, he had started to wonder what would be waiting for him.
He sat in Mark's empty office, running his fingers through his black hair, his other arm crossed across his chest. He needed to get out of here. But he couldn't make his feet move. Mark, like many others, had left work earlier than they normally would have working on the Mosaic project. Janis and Weddeck had bailed out even earlier. Only those who hadn't known Al very well could bare to stay, and that was only cause they had to fill out the paperwork about him. The thought of it sickened him.
After they'd come down from the roof and the coroners had taken Al away in the black body bag that Demetri couldn't even manage to glance at, he'd locked himself in a bathroom stall and just stood their for a while. Then he punched the opposite wall as hard as he could. And again. And again. Until his knuckles were raw and bleeding. That's when he felt the tears in his eyes and put his head in his hands, choking back the horrified sobs of what he had just witnessed. It gets to you, that kind of horror. It fucks up your thoughts, scaring the living hell out of you.
He desperately needed to get home, at the very least to make sure Zoey hadn't jumped off a building, too. He looked out of Mark's big windows at the grand skyline of Downtown Los Angeles. The horizon had turned pink and orange. Any other day since October 6th he wouldn't even think of leaving until it's fully dark out. There would be work to be done. There still is work to be done, but not today. Not today.
He grabbed his suit jacket and a few things to work on, if he had the energy, before hurrying out of the building towards his car. He climbed in the front seat, started the car, and focused on the act of driving to keep his mind off everything else.
At home, he laid his things down on the mostly unused dining room table and peeked into the kitchen where Zoey is making dinner, moving beautifully and confidently around the room. He comes up without hesitation and hugs her tightly.
"Why?" He whispers softly with his arms wrapped tightly around her. "Why is life unfair?"
She doesn't know what to tell him. "Why indeed."