Chapter 1: The Call
All Aperture Science Personality Constructs received a constant stream of power from their management rails, however this only provided the bare minimum amount of electricity needed to keep them running 24/7. So to ensure that the cores were always at top efficiency, each 'night' they would retire to a specified docking bay to charge. It was here that one core currently lay, defragmenting as his batteries were filled up. A small meter next to the docking bay displayed his battery level at ninety-nine percent. Suddenly the meter changed to one-hundred and beeped, causing the core inside to slowly stir, opening his optic shutters. His optic flashed to life, a bright green with an odd pixel-pupil. A claw descended from the ceiling and removed the core and attached him to a nearby management rail. Now fully awake he began to sing while speeding through the enrichment center.
"I reboot every morning
even though I charged in the wrong docking bay last night.
Time to tear up another day.
The Adventure Core freaking way!
Like an imploding star,
like a burning car,
my style shines so bright!
Please, stop trying,
To handle my style.
'Cause you can't,
No you can't!
Handle my style.
to handle my style.
Unless you're a lady.
then you're cordially invited
To have a giant slice of my styyyyyyyyle!"
While "Rick" the adventure core was defective, he actually was smarter than some of the proper personality cores, well Wheatley, but that's not saying much. Because of this, and the fact that a dangerous mute lunatic had incinerated most of the good ones, GLaDOS had put Rick to work doing odd jobs around the enrichment center.
Several panels parted, allowing Rick to enter a small test chamber where a test subject and a second personality core were located. This core had a teal optic and was speaking in a calming voice to the test subject. She was the Therapy Core, created by the scientists to give GLaDOS someone to talk about her problems rather than taking them out on the scientists with deadly neurotoxin. Unfortunately said talks ended up driving the Therapy Core insane, now she wandered about giving therapy to unwilling and confused test subjects. GLaDOS encouraged the behavior as it led to all sorts of unique psychological data, and severe mental instability brought on the core's 'help' created exciting new variables for the tests.
"Happy explosion day, gorgeous!" Rick wagged his handles suggestively and narrowed his optic shutters. The Therapy Core let out a pre-recorded sigh in response.
"I'm with a client. Now Mr. Great Zero-"
"My name isn't Great Zero, that's not even a name." The test subject responded. Rick moved up to the Therapy Core.
"Come on, there's plenty of time for therapy-ing, but personality core numbers are at an all-time low. What say you and me 'repopulate the species'? Huh? Huh?" The Therapy Core narrowed her optic shutters.
"Aperture Science Personality Constructs are created from a human personality template being uploaded into an AI mainframe, not through whatever you're implying." Rick paused for a moment to think of witty and suave comeback when GLaDOS' voice rang through the test chamber.
"Adventure Core, please report to the main chamber immediately for a special assignment." Rick's handles drooped at the announcement while the Therapy Core noticeably perked up.
"Well duty calls babe. I'll see you later." Rick attempted to wink, but having only one eye ruined the effect.
Meanwhile in her chamber, GLaDOS had called another being besides Rick. On the main monitor within her lair was the image of two humans, both very familiar to her. One was a former personality core the other a dangerous no-longer-as-mute-as-before lunatic. Of course she could just have looked through Wheatley's eyes and transmitted her voice directly into his brain, but this message was more for Chell and her companion was more of a guest.
"Look at it! Huge innit?" Wheatley gestured wildly towards Chell's very gravid stomach. "She's bloody massive! Like... some kind of animal that's massive... a whale or something." Had she the capability, GLaDOS would have smiled as Chell grew increasingly angry at Wheatley's descriptions of her.
"But the best part, by far, is when you put your hand on it sometimes you can feel the little human inside moving around!" Wheatley gently placed his hand on Chell's stomach on hopes of feeling the 'little human' and Chell's expression visibly softened.
"I still can't fathom why you allowed that moron to impregnate you." Chell remained silent at GLaDOS' comment. Even though she technically was no longer mute, Chell rarely spoke. GLaDOS didn't rule out the fact that her vocal cords might be imperfect and speaking may still be difficult to Chell, but she was fairly sure that it was more her being used to not talking than anything else.
"I'm not a moron!" Wheatley retorted. GLaDOS just sighed and shook her 'head'.
"You were such a wonderful tester. Think of it Chell, you could have birthed the greatest test subjects Aperture Science would ever know. Instead you've contaminated your lineage with the genes of an idiot. Your offspring will likely be unable to tell the difference even between a super-button and an aerial faith plate."
"You're just jealous that in a couple weeks you two won't be able to hang out as much because Chell and I'll be too busy being parents!" Wheatley smiled widely in anticipation. "Though, to be completely honest, I'm not quite sure how that's gonna happen. I mean Chell doesn't have any holes big enough for even a little human to fit out of, and I trust me I've checked. Thoroughly." Wheatley tried to wiggle his eyebrows in a suggestive manner like he'd seen people on television do but it came out looking more like his forehead was itchy.
GLaDOS made several beeping and whirrs that sounded almost like retching in response. From behind an pneumonic diversity vent spat a personality core out, which landed with a clang on the floor.
"What's the situation?" Rick asked while his optic darted about in search of danger. A panel raised up allowing ATLAS and P-Body to enter the room as well. They cheerfully waved at GLaDOS and the others.
"Excellent. Now that everyone is here I can discuss the real issue."
Congrats Great Zero for winning this cameo. For the next one, what is the "Handle my Style" song from. There are two different answers I'll accept.