Quick little author's note 'cause I wanna let the story speak for itself.

Basically it's just DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia. The person who does is a lucky bastard indeed. I WISH I owned it, so I could squeeze Ivan and sing "RA RA RASPUTIN, RUSSIA'S GREATEST LOVE MACHINE~" to him over and over. Also I would like to pat Sealand and Latvia on ze head. But I don't own it so I can do neither of those things. So we're good, da~?

Russia: Heey~ That's MY thing... *sad face*

Also. My first Hetalia story, so... please be nice? This is my first go at it, so I don 't want to be reading nasty comments like "That's not how it goes!" or that my OC is a Mary Sue because honestly, I don't think she is. She's definitely not perfect. I work hard not to make my characters Mary Sues.

So, uh. With that all said and out of the way, I hope you guys enjoy the story!

(Psst. And since this is a prologue, it's substantially shorter than I would like for a regular chapter. Future chapters will be longer, this is just shorter because it's a prologue.)


Hey! Hey you! Yeah, you! You with the eyes there.

Have I got a story for YOU. Interested in hearing a tale about the labors of love?

...

NO WAIT COME BACK!

Okay, so I lied. This story has almost nothing to do with sacrificing something for someone you love. Maybe a little somewhere in the middle or at the end or something, but seriously. I know you probably clicked on my story expecting something super funny and random. And then you see me going on about deep serious shit.

... Well, uh, why don't I get on with the super funny and random? Because I guarantee there's plenty of that in what you're about to read. This IS Hetalia, isn't it? Duh. And hooray for breaking the fourth wall...

Okay, SO. I should probably do a quick little explanation of how I even got here in the first place, huh? You know, in the position to tell this story.

So there I was. Just sitting in my living room, eating some caramel corn, minding my own sweet business and watching my Hetalia DVD. Yeah, they HAVE that! I was excited, I could only find it on like random anime dub sites. Why dubs? Because. Russia's voice be sexy in English. Why? Because it's the same guy who plays Kyo on Fruits Basket. Also Japan looks too damn cute to resist when he's trying to speak English with his "l" getting all screwed up and pronounced as "r".

Okay, enough with the "why" questions! So I was sitting there, happily munching my sugary popcorn that probably wasn't very good for me. But oh well, it tasted like sweet mama-jama, whatever that is. And what was I going to have for lunch, you might ask? Why, PASTAAA~ of course! Italy would scream his head off at me if I ever ate anything else after watching a Hetalia episode. And what was I going to have to drink with that pasta, might you ask? Why, VODKAAA~ with a BEER-AAA chaser! My homages to Russia and Germany and Prussia who are too awesome to forget. Although I gotta tell you, wine goes better with pasta. But if I drank wine I would be tributing France. And who does that before eight-seventeen P.M.?

... Oh, everyone?

Whatever, back to the story. I got distracted by Hetalia food. By the way, did you know beer goes REALLY great with fish and chips?

Okay, I'll get back to the story! Sheesh, people!

Where was I... oh yeah. Sitting there minding my own sweet patootie, and I didn't feel like waiting for my vodka and I most definitely was not going to have the beer with it now. I wanted some damn vodka. SO what do you think I did?

Yep. Paused my DVD, right on a screenshot of Russia's cute little face with a cute little smile as he was berating cute little Latvia about the "absurd" coat, and got up to get my vodka. WAHAHA. And soon I would hear Lithuania telling little Latvia to "SHUT U-U-UP~!" about it. Seriously, the kid should probably stop opening his mouth when Russia's around. They all should, actually...

Came back in, drinking, sat my lazy ass back down in my chair. I took a gulp and grinned at the screen, holding my glass up as if toasting with Russia. "How'd you like me to be at your parties, Ivan?" is what I said.

Now. You're probably all thinking, Why is this girl talking to a TV screen? She's crazy! She needs to be admitted to a loony lock-up or a tuberculosis sanitorium.

My response to that is this. WHAT THE HELL? Tuberculosis sanitorium! I admit I would fit in pretty well at Smith's Grove with Michael Myers, but holy shit, you guys wanna send me to TB land with Kimimaro Kaguya and Captain Jushiro "Tuberculosis" Ukitake?

... Well, I guess it's not like I didn't expect that. I'm a crazy person, the Earth would probably be just fine if I dropped off the face of it and wound up on Vulcan or something. Though I don't know how long I'd survive with a million people who are exactly like Spock.

SHIT. I'm not continuing my story, am I? I'm getting sidetracked with other fandoms. Sorry about that, guys, it's the fangirl. I APOLOGIZE. BACK TO THE TALE OF WONDER AND HETALIA.

Okay, so. The freakiest thing happened next. Are you ready for this? Are you sure? Ready? Sure?

...

...

...

The Russia on the screen blinked at me, freakin' BLINKED at me when I didn't hit the "play" button again. I thought maybe I'd already drank too much vodka, but then he fucking laughed. That creepy little "ahahaha" laugh, more of an evil giggle than anything else.

Then there was this, like, blue light that blinded me. I dropped my damn vodka, fell down, got dizzy, and, uh... heh... passed out.

Weird enough for you? Well, here's the weirdest thing of all:

IT GOT WEIRDER.

Don't believe me?

Stick around.


OK OK! Yay, this was fun. Can't wait to get to the next chapter. You guys want a little preview/sneak peek? Here you go. Preview for the next chapter: The Cold Russian With the Sweet Face!


"Hmm?" He must have heard my teeth chattering, because he looked over at me. "You are cold, da?"

I tried to glare at him. What, was my frame-wracking shivering too subtle? But I couldn't do anything but look over with probably the most pathetic expression EVER. "D-Da," I answered, quickly snapping my eyes to the ground.

WHAT was I thinking? I'd just spoken in his native language. What the hell, it was just one word, but seriously. He was probably expecting me to just say "yeah" or something.

I heard him chuckle, then all of a sudden something heavy was around my shoulders. "Here, this should keep you warm till we get there, da~"

Was he actually being... nice? Oh God, here we come, apocalypse.


Hope you guys liked the prologue AND the preview. If you read, please review! Those are my crack and they keep my going and if you want to become one with Russia you will review. ^^

Ve~ have a nice day. :)