Okay, so any guesses as to where I woke up? You know, after my TV decided to go completely insane?
Yeah. I came to in a FREAKIN' SNOW PILE in the MIDDLE OF FREAKIN' NOWHERE. I'm not even kidding you, I had no idea where I was, why I was here, how I got here. I was kind of tired, and to be honest, the way I felt was probably the same way an envelope felt after it got licked. Ugh, so gross. I could barely move, my body was just so heavy.
I'm not someone who's normally intimidated by stuff, but in this situation I was most definitely scared. I mean, think about it. I didn't know where I was, or how I got there. All I knew was that my TV had done some freaky shit regarding my precious Hetalia DVD, I'd passed out, and now I was caught in a snow drift. I'm thinking you'd be kind of scared too. And if you say no...
LIAR. YOU DIRTY DOG LIAR, YOU'D BE SCARED AS HELL TOO.
So yeah. About the only thing I could think of to do was try and dig myself out of the suffocating igloo. And try I did, though I failed epically.
I didn't know who was out here with me, or even if anybody was. What if there was nobody out there? How would I get help? Would I just freeze to death without anybody knowing what had happened?
And if there was someone out here... who was to say they were on my side?
I tried harder to squirm my way out of the snow, but I just kept sinking. If I didn't move, I would just stay in that position, except for the fact that more snow fell down and slowly started to bury me. Either way wasn't a very pleasant option, you see.
So I did the only other thing I could think of. I somewhat hoisted myself up and started shouting as loud as I could. "H-Help!" My voice sounded pretty weak and pathetic, not loud at all. I tried to be louder. "Help! Please, help!"
Realizing that probably nobody was even out here, and that I felt too sore to continue this, I sighed, dropping back down into my snow coffin. "Oh God... please, please... help me. I don't want to die..."
I opened my eyes and then widened them in shock. Through the blur of my tears and the steadily falling snow, the silhouette of a person appeared, walking slowly toward me against the white background.
I tried to raise myself up, to greet who I hoped was my savior, but I just couldn't. The snow was too heavy, and more was constantly falling down. I had to close my eyes because even they felt weak.
And all of a sudden, I was lifted out and laid on the ground. I forced my eyes open, and just stared.
In front of me, I swear to you, was Russia or Ivan or whatever you wanna call him. Looked just like he always had on the screen, with that beautiful sandy hair and violet eyes. The rest of him was hidden by the long coat and scarf he wore.
"R-R-Russia?" I stammered, throwing my arms around myself. This was honestly just too much shock; first nearly freezing to death, then seeing Ivan God-damn Braginski after my TV went mental.
His infamous smile wavered a bit, and he blinked a few times. "Hello, how do you know who I am?"
I swallowed and blinked back at him. Aw man... so exactly how the hell was I supposed to explain that? Was I supposed to tell him, "Oh, well, you're a badass cartoon in my world - so how did I get to your world then?" All I could think to say was a quiet "Uh, uh, um, uh..." I shook my head to clear my thoughts, sat up, and gestured to him. "W-Well, everyone knows you! You're so big and strong and amazing!"
I thought I saw a very light tinge of pink on his cheeks after I said that. "O-Oh! My my, aren't you a flattering little milashka? You are alright, yes? Not a cutie-sicle, hmm?"
"I was pretty damn close," I muttered. I shook the snow out of my ponytail. "Uh, what are you doing all the way out here in the middle of nowhere anyway?"
He shrugged. "For one I am trying to escape General Winter. He's so horrible to me this time of year. Right on my tail, about five miles behind... I'm on my way to a meeting, too. Of all the countries."
We both just stood there for a minute, looking at each other. I was kicking at the snow, and he was rubbing the back of his neck, and neither of us really knew what to say.
Finally he sighed. "Would you... like to come with us?"
I looked up, and he was smiling at me. Then again he almost never made any other expression. But I still smiled back anyway. "Damn Skippy I would!" I cleared my throat, blushed, and clasped my hands behind my back. "I, uh, I mean, I'd be honored, Mr. Russia."
He chuckled. "No, no. You just call me Russia or Ivan."
"We better get going." He took a few steps, and waved me forward. "The meeting starts in an hour, and we have a long way to go."
I nodded, and began following him. As I did, I just stared at my new surroundings. Was this Russia-land? Hell, how did he expect to get to the meeting when we were still in his country? Didn't they meet at some designated place?
Maybe it was here in Russia-land this time. Or were things different in the Hetalia-verse?
Obviously he'd noticed me looking around. "You like this, milashka?" He almost sounded incredulous. "It is so cold. You like it here?"
I blinked a few times, then looked over at him. "I... don't know. It's different than where I'm from."
"Oh?" Great, now I had his interest piqued. That was freakin' perfect. "Where are you from?"
"Oh! I know America. He is very nice guy. Maybe he will know you when he sees you. He cares about his citizens."
"Yeah, I guess. But I mean, I'm just one of a million."
"Ah." He reached over and patted me on the head, and I was a little scared at first. I mean, he did that to Latvia all the time, and the kid's height was seriously stunted. That was probably how he was slowly killing him. But the touch was light, almost affectionate even. "No, you are one in a million. You see, you used the wrong word. It makes a difference which word you use, da~"
I scoffed. "Yeah, okay. Whatever."
We walked a little further, and I started to get cold. I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, at least I wasn't in a freaking bikini - but this was Russia-land. Really, the temperature had to be at least sub-zero. I honestly didn't expect Russia to notice; he was used to it after all, why shouldn't I get used to it quickly like he was?
But then... "Hmm?" He must have heard my teeth chattering, because he looked over at me. "You are cold, da?"
I tried to glare at him. What, was my frame-wracking shivering too subtle? But I couldn't do anything but look over with probably the most pathetic expression EVER. "D-Da," I answered, quickly snapping my eyes to the ground.
WHAT was I thinking? I'd just spoken in his native language. What the hell, it was just one word, but seriously. He was probably expecting me to just say "yeah" or something.
I heard him chuckle, then all of a sudden something heavy was around my shoulders. "Here, this should keep you warm till we get there, da~"
Was he actually being... nice? Oh God, here we come, apocalypse.
I glanced up and saw that it was his coat around me. It was thick and way too big for me, but it was warm. I didn't dare put my arms in the sleeves, but held it around me like a blanket. "Thanks, Russia," I muttered. "That was... nice of you."
"Well, I don't want you to freeze before we get there. It would be, how you say it, a bummer if the first person you met was Egypt because I had to hand you off to him so he could thaw you out."
I snorted. "Well, it was still nice of you." I glanced behind us. "So, uh, where are the Baltic nations? They're coming too, aren't they?"
"Oh, they are still at home. They would just be bored at the meeting... plus Latvia would be whining and crying about wanting to go home. So it's better they don't come because they wouldn't like it anyway. I called to let everyone know I was coming and the others not. But you will be a surprise! Surprises are so much fun, da~?"
I rolled my eyes, but forced a smile. What a surprise I would be - someone who was fangirling each and every character (well, except for Sealand because he's too young and Canada because the Canadians have already had it too good for too long) while Germany was trying to get the meeting in order.
"Da," I answered simply, awaiting the train wreck that was about to take place.