CHAPTER 1

This was really uncomfortable. The Chief crying in front of her. The case was closed, she just had to give her the final report. She could have waited until the next day, but no. She wanted to get rid of the blonde as quickly as possible. It didn't work out so well.

Why did she open her office's door? Did she even say, "Come in" or had Sharon imagined it? But now she was inside. And Brenda was on the couch looking at her with baby teary eyes. She knew there was no coming back when the blonde grabbed her hand and made Sharon sit next to her. She awkwardly patted her back and suddenly Brenda was in her arms. Sharon had no idea how it happened.

"Chief? What's going on?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Ok."

"It's Fritz. We had a big fight."

"Oh… ok."

"Ok?"

"No… I didn't mean…"

"Actually it is ok, he deserved it."

"Then why the hell are you ruining my suit?"

"You don't have many girlfriends, do you?"

"No."

"Neither do I. But I do watch movies. Can I please just have some comfort?"

"I'm holding you."

"It's nice."

"Thank you."

"You're kinda soft."

"Are you talking about my breasts?"

"Oh you're impossible!" Brenda tried to move away but Sharon held her tighter.

"I'm sorry. I'll be here as long as you need. In silence." Why did she say that? Some sick, maternal, protective instinct? The blonde looked so needy, but was it even possible to cuddle a former CIA agent?

Apparently yes.

After a few minutes, Brenda seemed calmer and Sharon's right leg was feeling sleepy. There was nothing much to do but stay still and watch the blonde in her arms. It wasn't so uncomfortable anymore, as she had always thought a quiet Brenda was a lot better than a chatty one. And, well, her weight on her chest wasn't so bad either. Sharon didn't want to let herself like this too much but the Chief's hair looked beautiful and smooth. Untidy? Yes. Washed with some cheap shampoo? Yes. But gorgeous nonetheless. Sharon began obliviously to play with those fluffy locks. When a moan slipped out of Brenda's lips, Sharon froze.

"No please, don't stop." Brenda's eyes shot open. "I mean… It's comfy and they do it a lot in the movies and it's working, I'm feeling better."

"So you're fine now, I can go?"

"Now Captain don't flatter yourself. You're good but not that good."

A smile crept across Sharon's lips. "Oh I think I'm better than good."

"And how is that?"

"I just made you moan!" She regretted it as soon as it was out.

"Oh my! You're flirting with me!"

"I'm not! How could you… How can you think…" Sharon was speechless. Everything she could think of could only make the situation worse.

"It's ok. I like it."

"You what? And please stand up a bit. You're not crying anymore and you don't need to hold me so tight I can barely breathe!"

"I though you were enjoying it. You're heart is beating so fast."

Sharon took Brenda's head between her hands and forced her to look up. "My. Heart. Is. Just. Fine."

Brenda giggled and tried to move forward but the Captain's hold was strong.

"Can you let go of my head? It's getting weird."

Eventually Sharon complied and as soon as she was free Brenda nuzzled again in her arms enjoying the new discovered power on the other woman.

"You smell good."

"Chief!" Sharon blamed herself. That's what happens when you let your guard down.

"I was asking what kind of perfume you're wearing, I could buy it too."

"I don't want you to wear my perfume. So go and find out yourself."

"I might."

"I'm not stopping you."

"Yeah, I know you don't want me to stop."

Sharon breathed heavily trying to gain her control back, then murmured, "Do you have any clue of what you're doing?"

Brenda was glad Sharon couldn't see her face because she was sure she was blushing. "No."

"So what about you just drop whatever it is and move on?"

"Captain?"

"Yes."

"I don't think I'd like that."

"Then can you at least make up your mind before speaking again?"

"I'll try. Can you stay here in the meanwhile?"

"Ok."

"It could take a while."

"Ok."

Brenda felt something warm and happy melting inside. She just couldn't put a finger on it. She sighted, pleased as Sharon's hand caressed her face. Brenda slightly turned her head and kissed the skin on Sharon's cleavage. The woman immediately stiffed.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking!"

Sharon tried to stand up but Brenda pushed her down.

"Let me go!"

"I can't! I can't let you go like this. I'm sorry!"

Sharon kept struggling and Brenda straddled her to make her stop. Pinning her hands against the couch, saying over and over "I'm sorry."

When finally Sharon gave up they were both breathless. She stared at the woman on top of her. "Look at you."

"What?"

"Just look at you. What are you doing?"

"I'm stopping you."

"From what?"

"From leaving."

"Leaving who?"

"Leaving me?"

"Why Brenda?"

The blonde couldn't answer, couldn't even look her in the eyes anymore.

"Come on Brenda! I can't keep pulling words out of your mouth. Talk to me."

"I don't know what to say."

"Then let go of me."

"I can't do that, I don't know why, just can't."

"It's unfair."

"What?"

"You're playing with me. And I can understand that you feel lonely right now and confused and need someone to rely on. I can even sympathize with you, Chief. What I can't do is stay here when you play me like I'm just a meaningless human being. That I'm not. I'm not meaningless. I'm here in this room with you and I feel things too."

"What things?"

"Things that don't concern you."

"I doubt that."

"You can do whatever you want. Can you please do it alone?"

"No."

"No? That's it? Just no? Have you heard a word of what I said?"

"Yes. And I want to kiss you."

"That's…" Sharon was taken aback for a moment, "I don't know… thoughtful of you but no thanks."

"Oh why not?" Brenda was suddenly angry and tightened her grip on the other woman's wrists.

"Because you wouldn't mean it!", the Captain almost screamed.

"I would! I know what I want and you won't sit there telling me what I want or..."

"Or what?"

"I'm done talking." Brenda leaned on her and at first the kiss was wet and sloppy because Sharon tried to fight it and Brenda tried to kiss and speak at the same time. "Just kiss me alright? Just let it go. Kiss me back, please kiss me back."

Sharon wanted to leave. Wanted to stop it. But her lips were on hers, her body was moving on hers, her skin was salty from the crying and her voice was so sweet while she was pleading. It was too much.

As soon as Sharon began to kiss her back Brenda pulled the brunette's hands onto her back and the Captain's fists closed on her shirt.

The blonde was all over her and Sharon couldn't think clearly anymore. It couldn't be so easy to win her over. But here she was, lost in that big detestable mouth that so many times had driven her nuts. When her hands slipped on Brenda's ass to pull her closer, all the times she had thought of it hit her. And the Captain felt ashamed. And she felt weak for wanting her so badly and not being able to resist this impulse. Because that's what was it, a mere impulse, wasn't it? And wasn't she too old just to give in so quickly?

Brenda's skirt was gone up to her waist and Sharon's fingers dug into her flesh, so tense, so hot. Really? Was Brenda Leigh Johnson hot? Did she truly think that of the oh so badly dressed Chief? How could she be attracted to a woman with so little sense of fashion? It took her a whole life to look perfect, how could the blonde overcome everything and get to her core?

Sharon was mad, furious. She despised herself for being in this situation and despised Brenda for disclosing her weaknesses.

Brenda unbuttoned her shirt and bit her neck so hard she would leave marks. And Sharon found herself completely unprepared to like that so much. To moan so loudly for that. She needed revenge, she needed to make Brenda pay, to hurt her. She took the Chief's shirt with both hands and opened it, glad to see the buttons flying everywhere, glad to ruin that stupid piece of clothing and glad to hear the blonde's cry. With her hands under her ass she lifted Brenda up and started biting her breasts, sucking her nipples, not stopping until she had listened to that cry over and over again.

She could smell the blonde's arousal and it was sweet and intense and everything she had ever dreamt of. She put her panties aside and shoved her fingers inside. With the other hand she fists her hair and held her head back. Her pace was frantic and careless until she locked her eyes with Brenda's. The chocolate pools were sparkling but somewhere there was fear too. Just a little bit but Sharon saw it and it was like a slap on the face. Her fingers didn't lose strength but became gentler. Her hold didn't get weaker but she used it to have the blonde closer and kiss her. Deeply this time, calmly, savouring her mouth. Was this what they called comfort? Was she comforting the blonde's whims? Was she sweating, panting, aching for a whim? Did it matter? Did it matter what she wanted? This was all she could get, take away the chief's bad day.

And she did. Brenda was clenching around her fingers and Sharon could only think that the end was near, that she would never be inside her, she would never watch her completely undone again.

"Open your eyes." Her voice was a husky whisper but the blonde did as she'd been asked. Sharon wanted to remember, she wanted her to remember. And when Brenda came she could only see big green baby teary eyes and couldn't help falling into them.

Sharon could feel the younger woman's warm, erratic breath on her chest, slowly calming down. She should have pulled out her fingers, she knew she should have but right now she couldn't make herself to do so. She closed her eyes and once again thought how everything would have been better if she had never opened that door.

"I didn't know... I'm sorry." Brenda's voice was feeble.

"You say sorry a lot."

"I know."

"To get things and to get rid of them afterwards."

"I already admitted it."

"Yeah, well… that doesn't change what you do."

"Are you always so nasty after sex?"

"It doesn't look like I had any."

Brenda opened her mouth in disbelief. "That's a low blow even coming from you."

"The aftermath is awkward. I'm shocked."

"It doesn't have to be awkward. It doesn't even have to be the aftermath yet." Brenda took Sharon by surprise grabbing her hand to hold it still and moving slowly on it.

"I can't believe you're doing it. Again."

"Maybe I liked the first time." Brenda grinned.

"Maybe you are so damn selfish you don't give a fuck about who's in front of you. Or inside you, for that matter."

"Maybe I care so much I wanna fuck her again."

"You're playing with me again. And why wouldn't you? It turned out so beautifully the first time!"

"Yeah…" Brenda was too focused on what was going on between her legs to pay attention.

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

"Nope."

Sharon twisted her fingers and the blonde's eyes shot open. "What about now?"

"Yes." Brenda answered breathlessly "Yes, now I do. And I feel bad about the way I misbehaved with you. I've been truly awful. Thinking just about me." Her hand trailed on Sharon's stomach. "What did you say? Selfish, I was so selfish." The Captain's pants flipped open.

"What do you think you are doing?" Sharon protested but her voice was already weak.

"I'm being selfless."

"I don't think I like you this way."

When Brenda's hand reached further in her panties Sharon tried unsuccessfully to suppress a moan. "As far as I can see you like it very much."

"So what's your brilliant plan?"

"Plan?"

"Yes, a plan. I fuck you, we fuck each other, then what?" It was getting really difficult to think but Sharon needed some kind of answer.

"Are you trying to spoil all the fun?"

"Maybe I am, Chief."

Brenda's hand left its place and Sharon immediately missed it. When the blonde took down her pants she couldn't help but lift a little and make it easier. "Maybe you're not trying hard enough."

"You caught me."

"You're wet." Brenda's hand was back where Sharon was longing for it.

"That's really nice of you to state the obvious."

"Anything that can help, Captain."

"I think this is the most talkative sex I've ever had."

"I kinda like it."

"I had no doubt, Chief."

"When you were fucking me before, what were you thinking?"

"You can't be serious."

"As serious as I can get, considering."

"I wasn't thinking."

"Liar."

"Calling me names has never helped."

"You were thinking so much, I thought you were about to have a stroke."

"Good to know you're concerned about my age."

When Brenda's fingers entered Sharon, her eyes were no longer playful. "Tell me."

"Who do you think you are?"

The Chief's hand began moving in and out, slow and steady. Never breaking eye–contact. "Tell me."

"You. I was thinking of you." Then that was what it takes, Sharon thought, just a couple of fingers were enough to control her.

"What about me?"

"I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to want it so much."

Brenda stopped but only for a second. "You wanted it so much?" Sharon nodded.

"And you want this so much, too?" She thrust harder inside her.

"Yes," Sharon cried, a single tear slipped out.

"Ok." Brenda leaned down and licked it away. Kissed her eyes, her nose, her forehead, her cheeks. "It's ok, it's ok."

"It's not."

"It is."

"I said it is not."

"And I said it is! Can't you just lay down and take whatever I'm trying to give you?"

"I feel so back in the fifties right now." Sharon laughed. And when Brenda started laughing too she was amazed. "You are so beautiful." The Chief blushed. "And now you are even more so." With her free hand she pulled Brenda down and kissed her on the lips.

"So you think I'm beautiful."

"Don't push it."

"I think you're not bad yourself."

"You surely know how to sweet talk a girl."

"I don't need to, I already have you almost naked."

"You'll never make it easy, will you?"

"You're easy enough for both of us."

"Do you think that making me feel all slutty will turn me on?"

"I think you already are."

Sharon smiled. "And are you going to do something about it?"

"Sure, ma'am. I'm ready to give you the best fuck of your life."

"Oh God." The captain rolled her eyes.

"Is it a bad thing if I could get off just watching how much I can annoy you?"

"Can I answer another time? I'm not really interested in your dirty little perversions right now."

"And what are you interested in, Capt'n?"

"How skilful you are in moving your hand. How you can't help bucking against mine. And I know you're trying not to. How wide and wild your eyes are looking in mine, looking at my lips. That I can tell you desperately want to kiss. How shining is your skin and how flushed is your face. And that's because of me, it's flattering and erotic at the same time. I'm trying to memorize all of this, all of you. But I don't know why, it will only make things more painful."

"I am trying not to buck against your hand. I desperately want to kiss you. My face is flushing because of you, because of what you do to me. And I'm completely at a loss because I don't want this to end but I know it has to."

"Ok."

Brenda froze. "Ok? You won't fight? Even a little?"

"Damn Brenda, what do you want me to do?"

"Show me you care."

"Why? Why should I say I care to someone who hates me 99% of the time? Who's got a husband she's trying to punish through me and with whom I can have a normal conversation without killing each other only while we're fucking?"

"I think we were done with fucking a while a go."

"So what's this?" Sharon shoves her finger harder, with purpose now.

"You don't have to do this." Brenda could barely breathe.

"Do what?"

"Prove me wrong. If it makes you feel better, God... I can say we're... we're just fucking around."

"It makes me feel better."

"Really?"

Sharon was kissing her neck, squeezing her breast, wondering if it was possible to miss something you never had or you only tasted for a little while.

"Get up on your knees."

"What?"

"Do it." Brenda got on her knees, needing both hands to lean on the wall behind the couch. When Sharon's mouth covered her, she thought maybe she should be feeling weird or uneasy. Instead she felt like she belonged, like this was, for once, the right place. And it scared the hell out of her.

Sharon has never been as selfish lover as in this moment. She wanted to take everything she could while she could. She wanted to blow Brenda's mind away, she wanted everything that would come after to pale in comparison to this. She wanted the blonde's life be awful after her.

But when Brenda came everything vanished. No fear, hate nor pain or regret, just the two of them. And when Brenda fell in her lap again, Sharon kissed her with passion, tenderness and something else she didn't want to name. Brenda kissed her back, tasting herself in her lover's mouth and this too was so normal, felt so right.