Homestuck. Why do you invade my muse so much? I've got a hobby of looking at some of the pesterlogs that the kids have and dissecting them. Especially Dave. He's a deep kid. So yeah. Here's something I thought of for before he dies in the Alpha time . Beware of Dave's potty mouth. Little shit's got a dirty mouth. Dirtier than mine even.

Hussie owns Homestuck. He's a brilliant, evil man who holds SO MUCH POWER in his hands.

TT: So what about Jade?
TG: what
TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause.
TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you?
TG: what am i really supposed to say
TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack
TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me
TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it
TG: anyway
TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me

It sucks to know you're about to die. It sucks to just so happen to be looking ahead in the alpha timeline and see yourself get riddled full of goddamn bullets fired from one of your best friends/potential girlfriend/future wife(According to the bitchiest and pissiest of the trolls). Because seriously, that honestly puts a damper on any fucking plans you may have had to totally dominate the stocks on LOHAC, or put an end to all this Bec Noir bullshit. No. Dying pretty much fucking sucks.

What sucks worse is not being able to tell anyone.

Since you are scared fucking shitless.

So you act cool, breeding frogs like you aren't going to die soon (But oh God you are and you know it's going to fucking hurt and be so goddamn scary) with the girl who will be the last person you will ever see alive (Who will also be the one to shoot you up full of lead in a vain attempt to kill that fucking dog-bat-monster).

"Dave! Did we already use this one's DNA?" she turns towards you and holds up a frog, a particularly nasty looking little fucker. Damn does it suck to be breeding frogs in subzero weather. Don't these little sons of bitches hibernate?

"Nah, though it doesn't look too promising. Nasty little fucker," you comment, the cool kid façade still up and running (But oh god it's so hard to pretend like you're the coolest goddamn kid in the world when you're about to shit yourself because you're going to die any day now).

She frowns, a altogether cute expression, green eyes that are so damn innocent it hurts. "Dave," she going to scold you now, "We have to check every frog, you know? This one might be the one!" she holds the frog up in the air like it was freakin' Simba from the Lion King before she takes another good look at it. She giggles.

"But it looks pretty ugly, you're right," she agrees, and releases the amphibian. She giggles again, "Wouldn't it be funny if one of these little guys was a prince Cool Kid?" she asks, eyes twinkling.

You actually smirk at this, because damn is she good at taking your mind off of your inevitable doom. "You wanna kiss one of these slimy freaks?" but as soon as you say it your mind is back on the worse possible track it can be on (Because she's going to have to kiss you when you're a fucking corpse and she's probably going to be scared shitless of Jack and you won't even get to feel your first goddamn kiss).

She laughs, (and you want to break down and scream, tear out your hair and tell her that she's going to put holes through your chest). "Oh come on Dave! It's only a story after all," she rocks on her heels in the snow and gazes out over the endless white of this planet (that is so much less cool than LOHAC and you can't believe you are going to die in this fucking winter wonderland).

"Yeah, well so are Snow White and Sleep Beauty but here a kiss will bring you back to life in some other world. You can't tell me that's not fucked up," (Because you're about to be the fucking princess who's dead and gets kissed to be woken from the dead. But that doesn't change the fact that you're still fucking dead)

"I suppose…" she picks at the fabric on her dress and then adjusts her glasses (those things still remind you of Harry goddamn Potter but even magic isn't going to stop what's about to happen). "But I think it's sort of romantic! Being woken up by a kiss and all!"

"You watched way too many Disney movies Harley," (Or maybe you didn't watch enough to believe that this goddamned kiss thing will really work and you won't be dead forever).

"Dave, I grew up with a dog and my Grandpa on a island, what else do you think I did besides garden?" she's amused by the prospect, proud even. Fuck, her innocence is making you feel guilty before anything even fucking happens.

You pick up the next frog that decides it's a good idea to sit on your Converse. That shit isn't happening, even if you are going to die soon. "Yeah well, you wouldn't catch me kissing one of these fuckers even if it would save the universe,"

She laughs, and damn if it isn't the best thing you've heard since you got on this snow globe of a planet. "Really cool kid?" she turns on her heel and faces you, leaning in towards you and grinning, "Wouldja kiss me to kiss the universe?"

Her question makes you want to cry. But you crack a smirk and answer, "Why not?" (But you know she's going to have to kiss you to save the universe and you want to ask if she'll do the same for you but you can't seem to get the goddamn words out of your mouth).

She giggles again and bumps your side with her hip, "Thanks Cool Kid," she winks behind those ridiculous glasses, "I'd kiss you to save the universe too," and then she's skipping away from you, off to collect more slimy frogs.


You reach out and grab her arm, pulling her back to your chest. Fuck it. Fuck all of it. You press your nose to her hair, and close your eyes. Because this is it. This is fucking it. (Because you're about to die and there is nothing either of you can do to stop it; And there's a million and one fucking things you never thought you should door say because they weren't fucking cool enough-And there's a million things you wish do still had time to do.) This will have to do. This one moment.

"Dave? Are you okay?" she squirms and you let out a shuddering breath, relishing the feel of her pulse beneath your fingers. Alive. She's alive.

"Just give me a moment okay? I need…a moment,"

You're damn sure she's smiling as she leans into you, "Alright Cool Kid-just this once, you hear?"

And you want to cry because it is just this once. But you don't. Because you're Dave fucking Strider, and you're a badass cool kid. Or at least-that's what you want her to remember you as. Not the pussy who's too damn scared to die.

"Yeah. It won't happen again Jade."

(Because Jack is coming over the horizon right now and it's minutes before she's going to pump you full of lead then kiss your cold and bloodstained lips. And there's nothing you can do. )

Yeah. I ship Dave and Jade. A lot. Like. It's probably unhealthy how much I ship it. So yeah. Reviews are cool and awesome. Since they may tempt me to write in the Homestuck fandom again. Probably with Dave sprite, Dolorosa, Sufferer, or Vriska. Yup. Or even Eridan. (Gotta give my patron troll some love.) So yeah. Reviews rock. Thanks you reading. Have a brofist. Just tap you fist to the screen-and imagine I'm doing it back. Because I am. So yeah. Thanks. Bye.