What really happened at the end of TPM.
Dart Maul is about to kill Qui-Gon.
Audience:No don't kill him. We like him. Kill the annoying one! Kill Jar Jar.
Qui-Gon:Yes please kill him not me.
Obi-wan:Kill Jar Jar now!
George Lucas:what page are you guys on? Flips through his script.
Darth Maul:Where is the annoying one?
Qui-Gon:over there. Points in random directions.
Darth Maul:I will go and kill the annoying one now. Sorry about the whole trying to kill you and everything. He . . . he made me do it. Points at George and hops from the room crying. In the distance you hear, Jar Jar must die!
George:What are you doing? This isn't in the script.
Ankian and Amadala come inholding hands and giving each other lovey dovey looks. They look up and see every one there and immediately leap to opposite sides of the room. (I mean literally.)
Anikan:I thought he was supposed to die. What happened?
Qui-Gon sticks out his tongue and pouts.
Obi –Wan:We're not sure. Darth Maul bounced out of here sobbing and screaming Jar Jar must die in a high squeaky voice.
Amadalia:Did he frolic?
Qui-Gon:yes I am scared. Anyone else want to go for coffee?
Audience:What about us?
Qui-Gon:You can come too.
Everyone leaves. George is left standing there all by himself.
George:No. This isn't right. You all come back here.
There is silence
George:That's it! That's it! I've had it! You're all fired! Fired, ya hear me? Fired!
Lights go out
George :Where did all the lights go? Hello? Don't leave me all alone here. I'm scared of the dark.
Meanwhile in snow white cottage the dwarves are coming home singing the worlds most annoying song. Between you and me, I think that the reason she moved out.
Dwarves:Hi ho hi ho'
It's home from work we go.
Suddenly Darth Maul runs up.
Darth Maul:Jar Jar must die!!
He runs up to Dopey who just stands there and makes a few vowel noises. He then reaptedly whacks dopey with his lightsaber.
Darth Maul:Jar Jar must die!!
After a few more whacks with the lightsaber Darth Maul frolics through a field of daisies laughing hysterically and screaming… Come on now all together ,Jar Jar must die. Good.
The dwarves stare after him, then turn and look at dopey.
Happy:He doesn't look so good.
Bashful:Poke him. See what happens.
Sneezy:I'm allergic to spiky dudes.
Grumpy:You're allergic to everything. Call snow white.
Doc pulls out cell phone.
Doc:Yeah, hi snow white? It's Doc. Hi. Umm, we had a little accident. Yeah, Dopey and some spiky dude who frolics. Bring a mop.
Back in the star wars universe at a nearby coffee house Jar Jar runs in
Jar Jar:Ahhhhhh! No! Don't kill me oh spiky one.
Darth maul runs in and whacks him w/ the lightsaber. He does not die
Darth Maul: Darn it, it worked on the small one
All our favorite characters:Jerry! Jerry! ! Jerry! Jerry!
Darth Maul:Oh dear this one must be immortal. He is not dying. Waahhhhhhhhh!!!!
Runs out of the room doing the hokey pokey screaming
Darth Maul: my baby does the hanky panky.
My baby does the hanky panky
Qui- Gon: he does that a lot doesn't he?
Suddenly Snow White stomps in with a mop. She hits Jar Jar with the mop. He made several squeaky voices and falls over.
Snow white: stupid dwarves. Make me clean up everything
With a final whack to Jar Jar She then leaves. Everyone looks at Jar Jar and waits for him to die. He takes very long time. Qui-Gon looks at his watch. Yoda falls asleep. Amadalia spills hot coffee down Anikan's pants when he made a pass at the waitress. Obi-wan makes a pass at the waitress and gets slapped. Then finally with a very annoying gasp Jar Jar dies.
Yoda:about time it is
Qui-Gon:Takes him long enough.
Amadalia:God, he is even annoying when he dies.
Obi-wan:My face hurts
Qui-Gon:Serves ya right.
Qui-Gon:has any one seen George?
Back on the set
George: I'm scared. The lights went away. Is anyone there? Hello?
Pure sillyness. I own nothing. George owns the characters. Snow white owns the broom and the dwarves own a Honda Chevrolet. Hope u like. Thank u.