Bathroom Peril

There was a flushing noise, then a sudden scream erupted from upstairs shortly after.

Dib, who was sitting on the sofa in the living room of his home, just calmly watching TV, was startled by the sudden scream. He jumped, but calmed after a few seconds, knowing who had screamed. He rolled his eyes and sighed, "Zim..."

He got up from the sofa and began to head out of the living room to investigate the noise. He and Zim had settled their differences, and were now trying to get along and act somewhat normal by hanging out together. They were getting along... Somewhat. They were just quietly watching TV together when Zim asked Dib where the bathroom was. Dib's first thought was, I didn't know Zim could take a crap! His face then contorted in disgust at the thought as he had watched Zim leave the living room. Why do I even think of these things? I really don't eat to know how Zim excretes his waste... Yuck!

Dib made his way up the stairs slowly, when Zim let out another scream. "Ahhh, Dib-Human! Help Zim!"

Oh Lord, what the hell did that alien do? Dib wondered, slowly having made his way to the top of the stairs. He turned the corner and started walking towards the end of the hallway, where not only the bathroom was, but where he could hear the source of Zim's screaming coming from.

"Shut up, Zim!" Gaz yelled from inside her bedroom. Dib was glad that it was Zim who might suffer Gaz's wrath if he kept on screaming. Poor Zim wouldn't even see it coming...

Now Dib stood in front of the bathroom door, his stance unsteady just a tad. He knocked on the door as another shriek for help erupted. "Zim? What did you do?"

"I can't get out!" Came a terrified response.

"Of the bathroom?" Dib raised an eyebrow, adjusting his glasses. "Okay... You see the shiny thing on the door? You just turn it slowly..."

"I know what a doorknob is, Dib-Stink," Zim quipped from inside the bathroom.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Come inside and you shall see!"

Sighing, Dib gripped the doorknob, and, nervous of what he might see, turned it with hesitation. The door creaked open, and he stuck his inside in the bathroom, glancing around. No sign of Zim anywhere. "Zim? Where are you?" He opened the door all the way, walking inside silently. "Hello...?"

"Down here..." the voice came from inside the... toilet much to Dib's surprise.

"Zim?" Dib walked slowly towards the toilet, not sure what he'd see but at the same time, he had a strange feeling he already knew what he'd see...

He stood in front of the toilet, peering over to get a view of what was inside. What he saw, made him bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. "Zim...? Holy crap, how did you get in there, you weirdo?"

There, lodged inside the toilet, was un-other than Zim himself. Only his head was visible, and two of his arms, while the rest of his body below his shoulders was trapped inside the hole of the toilet... It was quite evident what had happened.

Zim sighed, embarrassed. "I... Accidentally flushed myself down the toilet," he explained.

"I can see that..." Dib's breathing was hard, trying with every ounce of strength in his body to not burst out laughing at the fact that only Zim's head and shoulders were sticking out of the toilet. "Say it."

Zim stared at him, confused. "Eh?"

Dib's satisfied grin could not have grown any larger than it already was. "Saaaaay it..."

Zim understood what he meant. He sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm stuck..." he said quietly.

"What?" Dib put his left hand next to his left ear, leaning closer. "I can't hear you!"

Zim held back a growl. "I said I'm stuck."

Dib let out a giggle, "Stuck in what?" This was just to hilarious!

"I'm stuck in the toilet!" Zim finally shouted, glaring at Dib. "There, I said it! Now are you gonna help me or not?"

Dib didn't respond, but instead burst out laughing. "Oh my GOD!" he fell to his knees in front of the toilet that held Zim involuntarily captive. All the air in his lungs came out in laughter, making it hard to breathe, but at the moment, Dib could care less. From the force of his laughter, a stinging sensation formed near his crotch, and tears came to his eyes. "I'm gonna pee my pants!" he pressed down hard on his crotch with his hands, rolling around on the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter. "This is the funniest thing ever!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha- hilarious." Zim quipped, glowering his eyes at the laughing human whom was now kneeling on the floor. "Now help me or else," he threatened.

Dib stood up completely after a couple of minuets, catching his breath finally. "Hold on a sec," he replied, starting towards the door. "Gaz has gotta see this!" Giggling, Dib ran out of the bathroom.

"Dib? DIB WAIT! Don't leave! Get me out of here!" the alien yelled after his human companion, but it was to late. Dib had already ran out the door.

Knowing he'd have to wait before he could actually get help, Zim placed his hands on the bottom of the toilet where his body was trapped inside, and pushed hard. He was not going to be a little side-show at the Membrane home toilet. He was going to get out of that dreaded excretion device the humans used. "Come on..." he grunted, twisting his body around as he used what ever strength he had to try and push himself out. After a few minuets, he gave up, letting out a breath as he slouched forward the upper part of his body that was not stuck in the current predicament he was in.

Just then the door reopened, and in walked Dib with his younger sister, Gaz. They headed over towards the toilet that held Zim. "See Gaz?" Dib pointed out. "I went to take a crap and suddenly he came out!"

Zim shook his head at Dib in annoyance.

Much to Zim's shock, even the dark-hearted Gaz herself let out a chuckle when she caught sight of the poor stuck alien. "What the hell happened? How'd you get in there?"

"I flushed myself on accident..." Zim muttered, so quietly Dib and Gaz almost couldn't hear him.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Why would you do that, stupid?"

Zim looked away, cheeks growing a lucid green color from embarrassment. "I thought Dib had a secret underground base like mine..."

"What made you think that?" Dib asked, confused.

"I don't know..." If Zim could move his shoulders, he would have shrugged at the two humans. "I just did."

"Wow, what a reason, huh?" The human boy chuckled to his sister, who simply turned and walked out of the bathroom, leaving the two boys alone. "You know, Zim, I find it hilarious that in all those years of trying to capture you, I was never able to, yet my family toilet managed to in under five minuets."

Zim rolled his eyes. "Okay Dib-Human, you had your fun," the green boy noted, voice flat, showing no emotion other than his irritation. "Now help me!"

Dib rolled his eyes, holding out his hands. "Fine. Grab my hands."

"Ew!" Zim tried to move away from Dib's hands that were being held in front of him "Don't touch me, filthy human!"

"I'm trying to help you, stupid!" Dib retorted, still holding out his hands. "Grab my hands and I'll pull you."

Zim glanced back over at the human hands that were held out in front of him, before looking up at Dib. Back at the hands, then back at Dib. Hands. Dib. Hands. Dib. Hands. Dib.

Dib stomped his foot impatiently. "Well? Do you wanna get out of there or not?"

"FINE." Grumbling to himself, Zim grabbed Dib's hands.

"Okay... On the count of three, okay?"

"Whatever..." Replied Zim. He just wanted to get out of there before it could get any worse... If that was even possible.

"One..." The human began.

"One," Zim repeated, for no apparent reason.



Dib held back a snicker as he continued the countdown, making it longer on purpose. "Two and a half..."

"Dib this is serious!"

"Alight, alight, GEEZ!" Rolling his eyes, Dib prepared himself mentally for the final number of the countdown. "Three!"

Dib pulled back, expecting Zim to pop out like a cork from a wine bottle. When that didn't happen, he pulled even harder, bracing his foot against the porcelain toilet as a leverage of some sort.

"Pull harder!" Zim commanded, somewhat in pain from the fact the toilet had a tight holding on his lower body, refusing to let go, and since Dib was using all the strength in his body trying to yank him out, it felt his body might rip into two.

"I'm trying!" The human boy snapped, pulling with all his might on Zim's wrists. He felt the alien's body budge slightly, but then after that, nothing more.

"OWWWWW!" Zim shut his eyes and gritted his teeth from the severe pain. "HURRY UP OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

After a few moments, Dib fell back, releasing his grip on Zim. He was completely out of breath, having used up all his strength trying to pull the poor alien boy out of his toilet. "Holy cheese and crackers," he panted, trying to get some oxygen back in his lungs. "Did you gain some weight?"

"No!" Zim responded impatiently, attempting once again, in vain, to push himself out of the toilet. Like Dib, he too felt his body budge slightly, then again, nothing more. "This toilet is just to small!"

"Well duh, it's a toilet." Regaining his breath, Dib got to his feet, wiping his hands on his shirt. "I don't know about you, but I'm calling the fire department for help. Surely the jaws of life can get you out..." He replied, swallowing down another fit of laughter that he felt bubbling inside, at the thought of Zim being pulled out of a toilet by firemen. This night could not get any better!

"What?" Zim, however, was horrified at the thought of a large group of humans, not only helping him, but witnessing him in this embarrassing predicament. "No! I'll die if they see me like this!"

"Sorry Zim, but that's the only option we have left," Dib said gleefully, the sinister grin on his face so wide that his cheeks were hurting. Sure, Zim was his friend now, and sure, he could try a couple more fruitless attempts at pulling Zim, but that wouldn't be any fun, and Dib Membrane was all about 'fun'.

Shrieking, Zim placed his hands on the side of the hole, pushing with all his might, desperate to get out of that toilet before anymore humans could see him.

Dib turned around, giggling evilly as he pulled out his cellphone from his pocket, dialing 911 and placing the phone next to his ear. He waited momentarily, before he perked up from the sound of the other end. "It's ringing!" He sang aloud, snickering to himself as Zim screamed even louder from the toilet.

"Hello?" Dib asked the other end, biting his lip to keep from laughing. "911? I'd like to report an emergency." His amused expression fell slightly because of the tone of the 911 responder on the other end. "Yes, it's urgent! I took a crap and a green kid popped out! I popped out a green kid!" He paused. "Yes, the kid is stuck in the toilet now."

Getting nowhere fast, Zim thought quickly to stall for time. "No I'm not! Zim is in no need for assistance!"

"Hurry, please!" Dib cried dramatically, letting out a terrible fake sob that made even Zim cringe. "I don't think he can survive much longer!"

"I'm fine!"

"I think he's dying from lack of oxygen!" Dib lied, giving another phony cry. "Please hurry!" He quickly hung up before Zim could protest further, cackling sinisterly. This was some major payback against Zim for everything he did back in Elementary Skool that got Dib laughed at by everyone. Now it was Zim's turn to face the music. Ah, revenge was as sweet as poop cola.

"NOOOOOOOOOO- oh whatever..." For once in his life, Zim slumped over, defeated. This was much different than a battle or argument where he never gave up; this time, in this predicament, Zim simply could not get his body to budge from inside the toilet, no matter how hard he pushed and no matter how hard Dib pulled. It was somewhat hopeless, and he really just wanted to go home and watch some TV, maybe eat a few snacks... But after this, Zim had a feeling he'd layoff snacks for awhile, hoping to never get himself in this type of situation ever again.

An hour later...

Fifteen firemen were now surrounding Zim, using the jaws of life to cut through the toilet and hopefully be able to free the helpless green boy from his situation.

All the while, Zim was glaring at Dib, who was standing behind all the firemen, chomping on some chips as he watched the scene with a look of amusement.

Zim shook his head at the human boy in disapproval, as Dib only waved at him.

"You know what they say, Zim," Dib replied, somewhat causally as he leaned against the bathroom wall, watching the firemen do their job... Well at least one of the many things of their job; freeing a green boy stuck in a toilet. "Curiosity killed the cat... Yet in your case, curiosity managed to flush the green kid down a toilet..." Dib burst out laughing at his own joke, kneeling over in a fit of howling laughter.

"I hate you, Dib-Stink..." Zim hissed, his eye twitching as Dib's laughter echoed throughout the Membrane home.

Ah, the power of friendship...

It could use a little work.

A/N: Dib, you're so mean! XD Lol, I had so much fun writing this. I spent some time at school today working on this.

Poor, poor Zim... Never assume that just because a human has a toilet, it doesn't mean they have a secret base like you do!

Please read, review and enjoy!