A/N: Yes, you didn't read the summary wrong. This is a Sora x Vanitas Yaoi lemonish one-shot, meaning Sora tops and Vani is bottom. Don't like the idea then hit 'back' now.

Disclaimer: don't own anything. Characters belong to SE. Lyrics belong to LKP.


Somewhere I belong

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused

He laughs in the Darkness, laughing at this vanity.
Why does he still exist? Why does he still live?
He can ask all he wants, but no one will answer him.
His past life no one knows. His being no one cares. He has never existed for real. He is all forgotten by the Light.

He is nothingness, emptiness, Vanitas.

Vanitas vanitatum, omnia vanitas.

Until he shows up.


And I let it all out to find that I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel

He doesn't feel anything, until he touches him. He can't feel anything, until he kisses him.

Inside his heart, he is alive, like he used to be, more than he used to be.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to heal you.
I want to heal you."

Do his words hold any meaning?

Nevertheless, his touch is the only real thing he has got left to feel.


Nothing to lose
Just stuck hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

"Fuck, Sora, HARDER!"

He is ramming into him vigorously. He grabs him by a fistful of raven hair, yanking his head backwards.
He forces him on all four, pushes his shoulder down to the whatever surface in this space, taking him from behind mercilessly.

He has never thought he could allow himself to be used like this, yet he allows the brunet boy to do him raw.

He wants to feel the pain, the pleasure, as if they could prove he's still alive, as if it's a proof that his body was real.

They aren't real. But they feel everything. Lust, pleasure, ecstasy, euphoria, PAIN.

The boy used to be innocent, but now he is fucking him rough.

It's all his own fault.

He is the one who has stolen his first kiss, his virginity. Now he's learnt everything.

He used to be gentle, but now violent. He is the one who has tainted him with darkness. They are the same now.

It's all his fault.


I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain 'til it's gone

The pain is nothing compared to what he used to go through. The endless agony from killing the Unversed, killing the parts of himself.
His self-destruction led to his insanity. But he still wanted to heal, always wanting to be healed. He had been suffered too long.

Yet he was abandoned by his Light. Ventus would never take him back.
Ventus never understood how he felt because he never really existed, because he was never real, because he never meant anything to him.

He thought it would be the end of his torment once he joined with Ventus again. But he killed him, only wishing to save his own friends.

He rejected him.

Would this shattered heart, the heart full of agony and hatred, ever be able to heal? Ever be able to feel again?


I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

He reached out his hand to him.
He took him in. The young kid held him dearly - 'If it'll make you feel better.'

Instead of disappearing into the Darkness, he found the shelter in this boy's heart.

He is the closest thing to real he has ever felt.
But he didn't believe him. It was just too good for real.

"No one in the world cares about me, so why would you give a shit?"

"'Coz I give a shit."

"Stupid, you are too kind for your own good."

"That's what I live for."

"Why are you here, Sora?"

"Because I want to heal you.

Because I don't like it. Because this is not right. Because you don't deserve this."

I want to heal you.

He laughs. He laughs at his stupidity. He laughs out loud like a maniac.
His psychotic laughter is resounding through the whole void space.


And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find that it's
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind

So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the
Way everyone is looking at me

His life was meaningless, his existence was void.
X-blade, his only purpose of life, was just a big fat lie. It was not what he had imagined in his mind.

The old geezer deceived him, only used him as a puppet.
He Light destroyed him, ruined his very purpose of existence, his only light of hope.

But he knew this all from the very beginning.

To the pathetic negativity such as him, Hope was a mere illusion. What did he have is nothing but despair.

Spiral of despair. Endless cycle of agony. They never end.


Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own

"No, you are wrong. There will always be Light, even in the deepest Darkness."

But he disagreed. He came to him with a bright grin, cerulean eyes shining with purest light.

Ever since then, he is fascinated by him.

He wants to kiss this boy, embrace him, touch him, fuck him, or be fucked by him.
He wants to make him belong to him. He wants to make himself belong to him.

So they fucked.

Screams. Thrusts. Blood. Pain. Insanity.

This is something you would never do in the real world.

"I've tainted you."

"No, it is my own choice."

It is his fault that his pureness is polluted, yet he is still trying to heal him.


I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain 'til it's gone

I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

He is licking his cheek slowly, seductively, while he keeps thrusting into him again and again and again.

He is digging into his back forcefully, asking for MORE, demanding Sora to go FASTER, HARDER, DEEPER.

They groan, they bite, they rock together, they pant heavily like animals, like two animals trying to kill each other, to tear each other apart.
He has successfully turned him into a hungry animal.

They open up each other's wound, and then lick it to heal. It is their way of healing. It is their way to feel.

Their same faces twist in pure lust and bliss. Their same voice groan and howl in ecstasy.

They are the same, yet completely different.

They only belong to each other.


I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today

He wants him too much, to the point he wants to break away from him.

He has tried to destroy him. He has tried to break his heart. He has tried to engulf him completely with Darkness. But the kid is simply invincible.

No matter how animalistic he is when they fuck, he always returns to human in the end.
He
can absorb his darkness, then purifies it. His light never fades.

Like now, he is hugging him tightly with a satisfied smile on his young face. They lie in each other's arms peacefully.
The warmth of human body hypnotizes him, the warmth that he never has had luxury to feel in the past.

His heart beats eventually slow down from the high, yet he still can feel.

Sora makes him feel alive, feel real, feel peace.
He
makes sure he feels all the pain, the heat, the pleasure, the warmth, and the love.

At last, he finally finds where he belongs.


I want heal
I want to feel like I'm
Somewhere I belong

Sora.

He whispers his name.

This is what he's been longing for all along.

This is where I belong.

Your heart.
My heaven.

Sora.

-F.I.N-


A/N again: I was listening to LKP's Somewhere I belong when I was trying to type the next chapter of Emptiness tonight, and somehow this idea just struck me that I just couldn't have it off my mind unless I wrote it up. Actually it was one of my reviewers of Dark Memory (Vanitas' back story) who pointed out that this song suits Vanitas so well and I think they are very right. The lyrics almost feel like it's intentionally written for Vanitas. But you have to read his back story before you understand why I'm saying this. If anyone, I think Sora would be the only one who can save and heal Vanitas. Sora would be the only one who welcomes Vanitas into his light with open arms. Not even Ventus could do that. Sora is just that type of guys, if he learns about Vanitas' past, I'm sure he will do.

I was trying a different style here, more like random thoughts and feelings. I hope it's not too confusing.

And, YEAH! I've done a SorVan fic FINALLY! (Anyone wants more? XD)

edits: Geez, the formatting function on this site sucks majorly. I hope I got it right this time.