Title: Love Can Wait
Rating: T, maybe slight R?
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Blaine with a side of every other pairing/character under the Glee sun.
Word Count: 24000+ (around 9000 for this part)
Spoilers: Season 2?
Warnings: AU, mentions of sex and sex dreams, nothing explicit; loads of crying and obliviousness.
Summary: "Why?" asked Blaine as he did what Sam asked. "Well, 'cause you're my favourite thing that I like!" Some say that children know more than grown-ups. Sam can honestly say, from first hand experience, that this is 100% true.
Authors Note: This started out as something completely different, but the characters sort of took over the story and this was the result. I know I should be writing the next chapter of Our Last Summer but... I just couldn't not write this story. This pairing has been calling to me for a long time, and since I'm completely stuck on my multi-chapter stories I decided a one-shot was in place. I hope you like it.
A special thank you to Loki Firefox who so kindly beta-ed this piece, and also gave me the sweetest and most amazing feedback as he read it (:
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee
EDIT: I have separated this story in three parts so that it's easier to read.
When Sam was eight years old his teacher made his entire class write a list of things they liked. Years later, Sam wouldn't even remember the point of making said list, but when he was eight he was beyond excited to do the project, because there were actually a lot of things he liked, and he was sure that his teacher (who was very pretty) would be impressed by the amount of things on his list.
So when school was done he ran to his mother's car, jumped in and urged her to drive home as fast as she possibly could. She had laughed and asked him what the rush was. Sam just grinned and told her that he was really excited to do his homework.
His mother had laughed harder, and Sam didn't even ask why she had laughed when he was obviously being completely serious, just continued bouncing up and down in his seat and telling his mom to go faster.
When he got home he quickly ran inside, kicked his shoes off and ran up to his bedroom, eager to start making his list of things he liked. He threw his backpack into a far corner of his room and then ran to his desk to grab a piece of paper, a blue pen (because blue was his very favourite colour) and a hardcover book and then flopped on his bed to begin his homework. He put the paper on the book, because obviously if he tried to write on his bed he would poke a hole through the paper, and stared at it for about twenty seconds, the giant grin still on his face.
He decided the first thing he would write would be the title of his homework so he very carefully and in his very best handwriting wrote 'Wat I liek' and then wrote his name underneath. He smiled, proud of himself and then set to work, thinking about things that he liked.
The problem was that while he was preparing to do this he had tons of things in his head that he knew he liked, but now that he actually had the paper in front of him he couldn't think of a single one.
He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to think of things he liked. After what felt like an eternity he thought of his teacher, who he liked very much, and he was about to write that down when he realized that he didn't actually know how to spell her name. He thought for a second, said the name out loud to see if that helped, and then said it out loud again, because he thought that might help more. Annoyed, he simply wrote 'My techar' and decided that was good enough to get his point across. Of course, he knew that one boy in his class, the one with the weird hair, would make fun of him and call him a teacher's pet, but he really liked his teacher, and this was a list of things they liked, so he decided that he didn't care what that kid thought.
For the next half an hour (or at least Sam thought it was that long) he thought and thought and realized that maybe there weren't actually that many things he liked. So far he only had four things on his list, and he just couldn't seem to think of any more. He sighed, looking over the homework he had been so excited to do and let out an annoyed groan. Why couldn't he do this? He had so many good ideas when he was in the class and in the car!
Just as he was cursing himself for not writing any of them down on his hand he heard his mom call him from downstairs.
"Sammy! Blaine's here to see you!"
And if that didn't make Sam forget about his homework troubles he didn't know what would. His giant grin was back in place and he quickly bounded down the staircase, only to be told off by his mom 'cause apparently Stevie, his baby brother, was sleeping and they didn't want to wake him up. Sam's dad muttered something about his mom yelling for Sam to come downstairs and his mom blushed and swatted his dad playfully on the arm.
Sam's grin widened when he saw his best friend standing in the hallway, his hands in his pockets and his hair all over the place. Sam ran over to him and gave him a very tight hug, because he hadn't seen Blaine for about an hour, and it felt like forever.
Blaine laughed, toed his shoes off and followed Sam to his bedroom, smiling shyly at Sam's parents as they walked by. Remembering that Stevie was asleep, Sam exaggeratedly shushed Blaine and the two tip-toed as quietly as possible down the hall to Sam's room, where, as soon as they closed the door just as quietly, they burst into a fit of giggles.
"Hi," said Blaine, out of breath, as soon as they calmed down. Sam smiled.
"Hi! I didn't know you were coming over!" he said, jumping onto his bed and crossing his legs. Blaine did the same, although much more carefully than Sam had, and shrugged.
"Yeah... well, I just haven't seen you outside of school much so... I thought I would come by to say hi..." he trailed off, a blush covering his face and Sam laughed.
"Well, I'm glad you're here!" Blaine raised an eyebrow and Sam nodded, "I need help with the homework for today."
"The list of stuff we like that Miss Jackson sent?" asked Blaine, scooting closer to Sam. Sam nodded again and picked up the hard cover book with his paper on it and put it in his lap. As Blaine looked over it he started searching the bed for his pen.
"You spelt lotsa stuff wrong," pointed out Blaine. Sam turned to him, shrugging again.
"I can't spell very well. My mom says it's cause I have dys... something," he went back to looking for his pen. Blaine sighed loudly and then walked over to Sam's desk and pulled out another piece of paper and another pen. He sat back down on Sam's bed, put the book and paper in his own lap and wrote out everything that Sam had, but he spelt lots of things differently. Sam found his pen and let out a cry of success before clapping a hand over his mouth, remembering baby Stevie and he giggled and looked over what Blaine had written.
"Wow... You're a really neat speller Blaine!" he praised, and Blaine's cheeks lit up in another blush. Sam wanted to giggle again, because Blaine sure was blushing a lot today.
"Thanks..." he said quietly, handing Sam the two papers and book. Sam bit his bottom lip as he read the paper that Blaine had written and realized that it looked much nicer than what he had. He handed the book and the two papers back to Blaine.
"Can you help me think of more stuff I like?" he asked, opening his eyes really wide. Blaine shrugged.
"Awesome! 'Cause I can't think of anything!" he let himself fall onto his back and grinned when he heard Blaine laugh.
"But you like loads of stuff Sammy!"
Sam glared at the use of his mom's nickname for him, but decided that it was okay, because this was Blaine and Blaine was his best friend so it didn't matter. "Well, that's what I thought too! But now I can't think of nothing!"
Blaine brought the end of the pen up to his mouth and chewed on it, and Sam knew he was thinking, 'cause Blaine always did that when he was thinking. "Well, you already have Miss Jackson, and the colour blue, and football, and your mommy and daddy, baby Stevie and the TV," Sam nodded along, because he remembered writing all that down. "What about weather?"
"What about it?" asked Sam, propping himself up on his elbows, allowing his light brown bangs to fall in front of his eyes. Blaine giggled as Sam tried to blow them out of the way, but then gave up, glaring at him playfully, "Shut up, what were you saying about the weather?"
"Oh, well, I already did mine, and I really like it when it rains, right?" yeah, Sam already knew that, "So I wrote it down. Is there any kind of weather that you really like?"
Sam thought about it and then shrugged. "I like it when it's really sunny..." he said. Blaine nodded and quickly wrote it down. "What else did you write on your list?"
Blaine paused, the pen going back to his mouth showing Sam that he was thinking again. "Well, I wrote the rain, and I wrote video games, and my parents and brother, and rootbeer and singing and playing piano and football and soccer and Rachel Berry and going shopping with my mommy and..." he suddenly stopped and blushed even deeper than before. Sam wanted to know what else he had written, but he had suddenly gotten a lot of good ideas for stuff he wanted Blaine to write down on his own list.
"Oh! I like video games too! And rootbeer, although I like coke better... and playing the guitar!" Blaine quickly wrote all these things down, his blush not disappearing as he looked back up at Sam, obviously asking what else. Sam thought for a few seconds and then suddenly seemed to remember something Blaine had written on his list. "You like Rachel Berry?"
Blaine nodded, a small smile appearing on his lips. "Yeah, she's really nice. We sit together in math and she helps me out a lot."
"But she never stops talking!" exclaimed Sam, throwing his hands in the air. Blaine shrugged and looked back down at the paper.
"Well, neither do you," he looked up at Sam and smirked. Sam sat up and shoved Blaine slightly. Blaine laughed and so did Sam.
"What else did you write on your list?"
Blaine sighed, his blush becoming stronger, "Well... I mean... school and uh... the fall and reading and uh..."
"Oh! That's a good idea! But I don't like the fall... I like summer," he smiled at Blaine who quickly wrote it down, "Okay, what else?"
Blaine started listing more things and wow, Blaine's list was really long! He probably liked more stuff than Sam did, which was very impressive because even though he couldn't think of anything he knew that he liked a lot of things. Every once in a while Sam would interrupt and tell Blaine to write something down and then Blaine would keep telling him the stuff he liked. When he reached the end he blushed again, and Sam thought that maybe it wasn't actually the end, so he asked Blaine.
"Uh...well..." Blaine fumbled with his pen, making it fall from his hands and then quickly dived to grab it. Sam was quicker though and reached over his best friend and grabbed the pen first, holding it over Blaine's head.
"Tell me or I won't give you your pen back!"
Blaine glared at him and then mumbled something under his breath. Sam didn't hear him, so he put his ear closer to Blaine's mouth.
Blaine gave an annoyed sigh and then mumbled, "You," before clamping his lips shut tightly. Sam sat up, a giant grin forming on his face.
"Really?" he asked, and Blaine simply nodded, "Awesome! I can't believe I almost didn't write you down! Quick, add that to my list!"
Blaine looked up at him, surprised. "Really?" he whispered.
"Of course! You're my best friend! Wow, I feel really stupid for not thinking of you first! Actually, how about you put your name up on top of Miss Jackson's?"
"Why?" asked Blaine as he did what Sam asked.
"Well, 'cause you're my favourite thing that I like!" he answered, the grin still on his face. By this point Blaine was blushing so hard that Sam was pretty sure his face would catch fire, but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to embarrass his best friend.
Later on, after Blaine left, Sam showed his mom his list and she smiled before pointing out that it was obviously written by Blaine and that he'd have to write it out himself on a new piece of paper. Sam didn't really feel like it, and he explained to his mom that he had really done all the work, that Blaine had just done the writing, but his mom forced him to write it out anyway.
So he went back to his room and wrote everything down on a new piece of paper. He felt bad though, 'cause Blaine had been really nice to write everything out for him, so he took the list Blaine wrote, drew a heart beside Blaine's name (because they were best friends, and he had seen the girls at school do that) and then circled the name and the heart. He then asked his mom for a thumbtack and, after promising he would be very careful, he put the list on the cork board that was on the wall beside his desk. He promised to himself that he would never take it down.
The next day he gave Miss Jackson the list that he had written out, and she told him, with a very big smile on her face, that it was a very long list and that it was great that he liked so many things. Just as he had guessed, the kid with the funny hair (his name was apparently Noah Puckerman which he learnt after Miss Jackson told him off for writing boobies on his list) made fun of him for saying Miss Jackson was one of the things he liked, but that didn't matter, because not only did his teacher smile at him very nicely after he read it out loud, but so did Blaine. And that was worth getting laughed at any day.
In the summer between grade seven and eight things started changing. He started getting way taller, and his voice got deeper, and his shoulders got broader and he started getting hair down there and he started having...
dreams. Of course, he never talked to anyone about these dreams, because they were really embarrassing, and because none of the other kids his age were talking to their friends about that kind of stuff.
He had just finished his second year of middle school, which he had only managed to not fail because Blaine helped him with his homework and with studying, and he was enjoying not doing anything during the summer, simply suffering the pains of puberty alone with his guitar. And Blaine, sometimes. Oh, and Noah Puckerman (although he really preferred Puck) had started randomly showing up at his house with another guy from school, Finn Hudson, to play video games. But obviously he didn't talk to them about his voice getting deeper or the fact that he suddenly had hair everywhere or the... dreams.
Over the course of the summer he went to several parties, and at one he met this really hot girl named Santana who he had spent the entire night talking to (Blaine hadn't been able to make it, Finn was glued to Quinn Fabray's hip and Puck was making out with some girl he didn't recognize) and who he discovered he kind of liked. Sure, she was totally different from the last girl he liked (the very same Quinn Fabray that Finn had decided he was suddenly in love with) but she was still hot. So, at the end of the party they swapped numbers and he promised to call her.
He spent the next few days talking to Blaine about how awesome she was, and how he was pretty sure that he was in love, and that he hadn't even felt this way about Quinn, and should he ask her out? How soon was soon to call? Blaine had laughed at that and mentioned that he had no idea, since he had never asked anyone out either, and that maybe he should ask Puck who at thirteen had already had about seven or eight girlfriends.
One day, due to some bizarre turn of events, all four boys had ended up playing video games at Sam's house, which was actually stranger than it sounded because Blaine didn't usually like being over when Puck and Finn were, something Sam didn't really understand but didn't question. Something he had learnt about Blaine over the years was that if he wanted to tell him something, he would, and if he didn't then he wouldn't, no matter how many times Sam asked.
Sam decided he would just get it over with, because he and Santana had been texting a lot lately, and he was pretty sure that she liked him and he definitely liked her, so he asked Puck.
"Uh... Puck?" he asked while the two took a break from their Call Of Duty marathon so that Blaine and Finn could have a turn (Blaine was surprisingly kicking Finn's ass).
"Yeah?" asked his friend, lifting an eyebrow. Sam took a deep breath and forced himself to ask probably the most embarrassing question of his life: "How do you ask a girl out?"
Puck stared at him for a few seconds before busting out laughing, clutching his pop so tightly that some of it spilled out. Sam glared at him but resisted the urge to punch him in the stomach, because he actually wanted the answer to that question.
After about five minutes Puck calmed down, took a deep breath, and looked at Sam seriously, "Are you serious dude?"
Sam frowned, "Uh, yeah."
"Wow okay, uh... well, I don't know, go up to her and ask if she wants to hook up or something," Puck shrugged and Sam groaned.
"Dude, not helpful!"
"Well, what do you want me to say?"
"I don't know! Not that!" Sam rubbed the palms of his hands over his eyes. "I just... I really like this girl, and I don't want to just hook up with her, you know?"
Puck nodded and seemed to think for a second before he asked, "Who's the chick?"
Sam blushed, "Santana Lopez..."
Puck's eyebrows shot up. "Whoa! Santana Lopez as in Latina-built-like-a-Greek-goddess-goes-to-that-all-girls-school Santana Lopez?" Sam nodded and Puck grinned. "Nice. Well, first of all, she's way out of your league..." Sam interrupted with an annoyed 'Hey!' but Puck ignored him. "So you really have nothing to lose. Just ask her to a movie or something."
Sam groaned. "Yes, but how?"
"Uh... 'Hey, Santana, wanna catch a movie'?"
"Genius," said Sam sarcastically before letting himself fall on the sofa beside Blaine. The action caused his friend to miss a shot and he quickly glared at Sam who just shot him a smile before rolling his eyes and focusing on his game.
"So gentlemen!" said Puck loudly, "I have an announcement to make!"
Sam rolled his eyes, knowing that this couldn't be good. Finn and Blaine didn't say anything, their eyes glued to the TV screen. Puck continued anyway.
"Our friend Sammy here... is in love!"
Sam turned to glare at him, his elbow knocking Blaine's arm in the process and making him miss another shot, which made his best friend groan and punch him in the arm.
Finn shrugged, his eyes still on his game. "Dude, that's old news. We all knew that already."
Puck stared at Sam for a second and Sam thought back and realized that yeah, obviously he had told Blaine, and he actually had told Finn too because Finn had accused him of still going after Quinn.
"Wait, so I'm the only person you haven't told?" he gave Sam an incredulous look and Sam gave him an are-you-stupid look.
"No, obviously. I think you three are the only ones who know, actually."
"Yeah, but us three are the only ones who need to know! Dude! Why am I the last to know?"
Sam just shrugged, his eyes going back to the TV where he saw Blaine shoot someone. "Just worked out that way? Why do you even care?"
"I don't," replied Puck sitting down in Sam's dad's armchair. Sam just laughed and told Blaine and Finn to hurry up cause he really wanted a turn.
In the end he actually did just ask Santana to a movie, and she accepted, a giant smile on her face. The whole date he had no idea what to do, and surprisingly Santana seemed just as nervous. This was surprising because she came off as a total HBIC, but he was internally glad that he wasn't the only one freaking out. They held hands during the movie, and then Sam bought dinner at a nearby McDonald's before walking Santana home (still holding her hand). When they got to her house they said goodbye awkwardly before Santana bravely brushed her lips against his. Sam thought his insides had exploded, and instantly found himself wanting to kiss the girl again, but instead he simply stood there while Santana walked into her house, giggling quietly.
The first thing he did when he got home was call Blaine.
"Dude, you have to come over here, right now!" he exclaimed as he fell onto his bed, his heart still racing. Blaine laughed.
"Sam, it's ten o'clock."
"And your curfew is eleven thirty! Come on, it's not like I live on the other side of town!"
He heard Blaine give an exasperated sigh before agreeing and telling him he'll be over in two minutes. Sure enough almost as soon as he had hung up he heard the doorbell ring (which awarded him an evil glare from his mom) and he rushed down the stairs. Blaine laughed when he saw Sam, and Sam guessed it was because he was still on cloud nine and it was extremely obvious by the way he was grinning ridiculously and practically skipping up the stairs to his room. His mom popped her head out of her and his dad's room and hissed that he better keep it down unless he wanted to be the one to calm Stacy down if she woke up again and oh, hi Blaine!
Sam ignored his mom but Blaine, ever the gentleman, politely apologized and told her that she looked fantastic which earned him a blush from Sam's mom and would have earned him an eye roll from Sam, except Sam had just had his first kiss, and he was pretty happy about it. When they reached Sam's room, Sam quickly fell on his bed, spreading out his arms and letting out a dreamy sigh. Blaine closed the door to avoid waking up Sam's younger siblings and then went to sit on the chair by Sam's desk. His eyes lingered on something on Sam's cork board before he turned to his friend.
"So I'm guessing the date went well?" he asked, a hint of a smile in his voice. Sam sighed again.
"Oh my God Blaine, it was great! I was so nervous! But she was too, can you believe it? And then we held hands and I don't even know what movie we watched, and I bought her a burger 'cause I'm a gentleman and then we kissed! We kissed Blaine! My first kiss!" Sam resisted the urge to squeal, because obviously he was a guy, plus it was really annoying when girls did that. Blaine chuckled.
"So yeah, your date went well?"
"Shut up," said Sam throwing his pillow at Blaine who laughed as he caught it without any effort at all. He threw it back at Sam who let out a strangled 'Oomph' when it hit him in the face. "Hey!" he pulled the pillow off and put it under his head. "No fair! I'm distracted!"
Blaine laughed again and then looked away, towards whatever he had been looking at on Sam's cork board before whispering, "What was it like?"
Sam sat up, tilted his head slightly and furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"
"You know... the kiss. What was it like?"
Sam thought for a second, trying to find the right word to describe what he felt for that brief second that his and Santana's lips had connected. "Oh man, I don't even know. It was awesome. It was like... like my heart and stomach exploded."
Blaine laughed quietly. "Sounds fun."
"It was! I hope she'll let me do it again!" he sighed dreamily again and lay back down on his bed.
"You really like her, huh?" asked Blaine, and Sam felt a goofy smile slip on his face.
"Yeah... yeah I really do. What, you hadn't gotten that from the constant obsessing?" Blaine laughed and shook his head.
"No, I hadn't. You've been obsessing?"
"Jerk," replied Sam, too happy to say anything else. Blaine rolled his eyes. Then something occurred to Sam, "Wait! What about you?"
Blaine froze. "...What about me?" he asked cautiously. Sam sat up, his eyes instantly locking on his best friends'.
"Well, I mean, you must like someone, right?" Blaine shrugged, the blush that Sam had grown so used to seeing creeping onto his face.
"I... I don't know. I don't think so..."
Sam huffed, "No, you can't not think so! You either like someone or you don't! Come on dude, you can tell me! Do I know her?"
Blaine's blush deepened as he nodded. Sam grinned. "Bingo! I knew it! It's Rachel, right?" Blaine's eyes widened, and that was really all the confirmation that Sam needed. "Ha! It totally is! Dude, you should ask her out! She's totally into you."
Blaine shrugged, his blush becoming more intense. "I don't know I mean... we've been really good friends for a long time and I don't want to ruin that..."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm going to tell you something that my mom told me, like, ages ago, alright?" Blaine nodded before Sam continued, "She told me, 'Sammy, if you ever like a girl, you need to go for it. Don't make her wait, because eventually she'll stop waiting'. So there you go! Just go for it! What do you have to lose?"
"Uh... her friendship if something goes wrong?" suggested Blaine sarcastically and Sam sighed.
"Well, you just have to think about if you like her enough to take that risk," he shrugged before a dreamy expression took over his face again as his lips tingled with the memory of his first kiss. He could feel Blaine's eyes on him for a few seconds before he heard his friend let out deep breath.
"I don't know," he answered honestly. Sam turned his head so he could look at Blaine, a smile on his face.
"Well, if you do go for it, I'm behind you all the way! And you better tell me the second you two kiss, because you were totally the first person I told!"
Blaine laughed and nodded, glanced at the cork board once more and then looked at his watch. "Hey, I'm going to head back to my place. My mom wants me to do the dishes so..."
"Oh, I see, so you used coming to see me as an excuse to slack off, very nice," Sam told him playfully. Blaine scoffed.
"You called me," and then he rolled his eyes as he stood up, mumbling 'dumbass' under his breath. Sam laughed and waved at his back as Blaine disappeared from his room.
The next summer, the one before he started high school, was particularly nerve-wracking for Sam. Thankfully, his girlfriend's parents had allowed her to enrol at McKinley High with him instead of shipping her off to some private school for girls in Westerville, but that was basically the only good thing he could see about starting at the new school. He had heard enough horror stories from Blaine's brother to know that freshmen tended to not be the rest of the student body's favourite people. Honestly he tried not to be nervous—mainly because Santana said it made him look like he had to poop—but it was difficult considering there was a pretty high possibility of getting his head shoved down the toilet on the first day. And Blaine's brother had already graduated, so he wouldn't be able to stand up for them.
On top of that, Blaine was acting really weird. He had been since about the middle of February actually, but it had become more noticeable over the summer. Whenever Sam called on him he was always busy, and when he did come over to play video games or whatever he was detached, as if his mind was somewhere else entirely. Puck and Finn seemed to have noticed too because by the middle of July both of them had asked him about it. They had seemed surprised to hear that Sam had no idea either.
He started getting really worried when Rachel Berry appeared on his doorstep one day, tears running down her face (along with runny mascara) and demanding an answer as to why Blaine had just broken up with her after being together for almost an entire year. Sam didn't know how to respond and stupidly asked her if she had asked Blaine. She just cried harder, telling him that she had, that she had come over for a surprise visit since she felt like she hadn't seen him at all all summer and he had simply broken up with her, his only excuse being 'I just can't anymore'.
After several (failed) attempts to calm Rachel down he sent her on his way and decided that he was going to find out what was going on with Blaine whether he liked it or not. Yes, he was aware that if Blaine didn't want to tell him there was no way he would get it out of him, but that didn't mean that he couldn't bug the crap out of him while trying.
He walked to the house right next to his and rang the doorbell several times, showing his impatience. Blaine's mom appeared at the door, an annoyed look on her face, but Sam simply couldn't bring himself to care.
"Sam, hello, we weren't expecting you," she said in a clipped tone. Sam nodded.
"I know, surprise visit, is Blaine home?" he already knew the answer, but he had learnt the hard way that the Andersons didn't really like it when he just assumed and marched up to his friend's room. She nodded, stepping to the side. He toed his shoes off, also knowing that Mr. Anderson was a total neat freak and that if he simply kicked them off the man would probably have a seizure, and ran up the stairs to Blaine's room, which was considerably larger than his own.
He knocked and opened the door without waiting for an answer. He saw Blaine sitting at his desk with his laptop open to a page that Sam couldn't see. Without turning to see who it was, Blaine shut the laptop quickly, spinning around in his chair at the speed of light, his eyes wide.
"Wh- oh, Sam. Hi. Wasn't expecting you."
Sam eyed the computer, decided to ask later, and closed the door behind him quietly. "Yeah, I decided to drop in to surprise you. Are you surprised?"
Blaine raised his eyebrows. "Uh..."
"What is going on with you Blaine?" he asked as he settled himself on his best friend's bed. Blaine took a deep breath.
"Nothing's wrong, why would you think...?" Sam cut him off.
"Don't bullshit me Blaine. Rachel was just at my house," Blaine's eyes widened impossibly and Sam nodded, "Yeah, care to explain why you dumped her just... out of the blue?"
Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "It wasn't entirely out of the blue... I don't... I just..."
"That's not all Blaine! You haven't been hanging out at all this summer! Even Puck and Finn are worried, and you know that that's a pretty incredible feat."
Blaine sighed, "Sam I just..."
"No, you don't 'just', okay? What the hell is going on? Because honestly I'm kinda starting to freak out."
"Yeah, well, so am I!" snapped Blaine, and Sam's eyes widened, because he had never heard his friend talk like that... like he was... well, angry. Blaine glared at him. "What, you think that I haven't been talking to you or Puck or Finn or Rachel or anybody all summer because I just... I just feel like it?"
Sam shook his head, shocked at his friend's outburst. "No! No, that's not—that's why I asked! I just wanna know what's going on with you... I want to help you!"
"Well, you can't. So if you don't mind," he turned around in his chair, and suddenly Sam was mad, too. He stood up and stalked over to Blaine's chair, turning it around so that his friend was facing him and placing a hand on each armrest.
"I do mind, actually. What the hell Blaine! You honestly think that I'd just leave? That you can get rid of me that easily? Do the past fourteen years mean absolutely nothing to you? Do you even know me at all? Do you really think I'm going to let my best friend go through... whatever this is, alone?"
Blaine took a shaky breath and his eyes darted away from Sam's for a second before looking back into them, "Sam, I just..."
"You obviously just don't trust me!" he practically screamed, and Blaine's eyes widened. "God I can't believe you! Stop pulling away from me Blaine! I don't care what's going on! I'm your friend, right? Your best friend? So I'll obviously be there for you during... whatever! Just fuc-" Blaine cut him off.
"But this would change everything!" he yelled, standing up and forcing Sam to do the same. "This would... you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore! Neither would Finn, or Puck or... or anybody! God, Sam, do you know how difficult this is for me? Wanting to tell you so badly that it physically hurts but not being able to because I know it'll be the last words I say to you as best friends?"
Sam grabbed Blaine by the shoulders and forced him to look him in the eye. "I would never stop being your friend. Ever. Whatever it is. I swear to you, this, you and me? It'll never change."
And before he knew it, Blaine had wrapped his arms around him and was crying into his shoulder. Sam was surprised; in all the years he had known Blaine he had only seen him cry twice, and both times were back when they were still in elementary school. Instinctively he put his arms around Blaine's shoulders the way he always did to Santana whenever she cried (which wasn't often, basically only when she was drunk) and pulled him closer. Blaine just tightened his hold and continued to cry.
"I'm so scared Sam," he whispered, and without thinking about it Sam started petting his hair, "I'm just... I'm so scared..."
The stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, Blaine crying and Sam simply holding him, petting his hair and occasionally squeezing him closer.
Finally Blaine slowly peeled himself off of Sam, sniffled and wiped his eyes, which were bloodshot and puffy from crying. Sam patted him on the back and slowly sat down on Blaine's bed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked carefully. Blaine wrapped his arms around himself for a second, a few more tears escaping his eyes before he took a deep breath and nodded, sitting down beside Sam on the bed.
"You... you won't leave, right? You won't stop being my friend?" he whispered. He sounded about five, and Sam just wanted to pull him into his arms again and never let him go. Instead he shook his head, even though Blaine couldn't see him, since he had closed his eyes.
"No. Never. You're stuck with me forever."
Blaine laughed and then took a few more deep breaths to calm himself before he opened his eyes and looked straight at Sam.
"Okay, well... you remember that one night at the beginning of last year? At Puck's 'back to school' party? When you were... completely drunk?"
Sam blushed but nodded. Of course he remembered. It had been his first time being drunk. He was lucky Blaine and Santana were there, because if not he probably would have jumped off the roof or something.
"Okay, well, I don't know if you remember this but at some point you started talking about like... the changes your body had been going through or whatever as you got older..."
Sam's blush deepened, "Oh, God, I didn't!"
Blaine laughed shakily and nodded, "Yeah, well... at first it was just normal stuff you know, like, I was going through the same stuff: the voice changes, the pubic hair... but then you started mentioning... well... dreams."
"Just kill me now" muttered Sam, dragging his hands over his face. Blaine laughed again.
"Yeah it uh... it got pretty awkward pretty quick. But anyway, when you finished describing several of your dreams you asked me if I had ever had any dreams like that. If I ever thought about... well, having sex. And well, honestly at that point I hadn't. So when I got home I started wondering if there was something wrong with me," he took a deep breath, "Well, when I got home that night I asked my dad about it, and he told me that it was
fine that I didn't have those dreams, that I was just a late bloomer, but I have a tendency to just not believe what my dad says, so I decided to ask Finn and Puck about it.
"Finn was super awkward, but Puck was really straight forward and told me that of course he had dreams like that, that it was normal to dream about having... sex... with girls. He actually swore that he had been having those dreams since he was two," Sam chuckled at their friends stupidity, "Well, obviously I was really confused. And then I asked Santana and she was pretty straight forward. She told me that either yeah, I was a late bloomer, or there was something wrong with me, because apparently she has those kinds of dreams, too," Sam couldn't help the smile that slipped onto his face at the thought of Santana dreaming about him in that scenario because well, obviously she was dreaming about him.
Blaine seemed to think about what to say next before he took a deep breath, "Well, it turns out she was right on both accounts. I was a late bloomer. Around February of this year I started having sex dreams. But um... Oh God..." Blaine started crying again
Sam raised an eyebrow, "Blaine, that's totally normal! You know that! Come on, you didn't have to break up with Rachel because you want to... you know..." he trailed off awkwardly. Blaine shook his head, inhaling sharply.
"No, no that's just the thing, I thought they would be about Rachel because she was my girlfriend and she was great and pretty and I really liked her but... God, okay, you remember what you told me after you kissed Santana for the first time?"
Sam grinned, "Yeah."
"Okay, well, it was never like that for me with Rachel. I never felt the butterflies or the... explosions or whatever. Not that it wasn't pleasant, cause it was, but just... I always felt like there was something missing. And then I started having those dreams and..."
Sam frowned, "Blaine... you need to help me out here, 'cause I'm really confused. It's totally cool if you like another girl, or fantasized about her or whatever... I mean, I know I've fantasized about girls other then San..."
"No," Blaine was almost hysterically sobbing at this point, "No it's... I didn't dream about girls Sam!"
Sam blinked at him, not sure what to say, "I don't... understand... what do you dream about? Horses?"
Blaine groaned, "God, you're... Listen, Sam, this is the first time I've said this out loud, so it might take me a while okay?"
Sam raised an eyebrow but nodded anyway, completely confused. Blaine didn't have sex dreams about girls? But... he did have sex dreams? He bit his bottom lip, trying to figure out what his best friend was telling him. He wanted to hit himself. It was probably really obvious too, and he was just too stupid to figure it out. Sex dreams but not about girls... How was that even possible? Who would he have sex dreams of if it weren't...
It clicked literally two seconds before Blaine said it out loud.
"Sam, I think I'm gay."
Sam stared at Blaine, what he was saying and what he had figured out for himself sinking in. Blaine... Blaine his best friend... But, no, that didn't make sense! Gay guys like girly things and wore pink and spoke in a high voice and...
Blaine covered his face with his hands, "Oh God, you're probably totally disgusted by me, right? I shouldn't have said anything... I shouldn't have said..."
Sam cut him off by pulling him into a tight hug. Like earlier, Blaine began crying into his shoulder, his arms wrapping around his waist tightly. Sam rested his cheek against his best friend's hair.
"Don't ever say that," he whispered, "Don't even suggest that. I could never be disgusted by you. Never. Not even if you were having sex dreams about a horse," Blaine laughed at that, although it sounded more like a half laugh half sob, "You're my best friend Blaine. I don't care whether you like guys or girls. I'll always be here for you. Never getting rid of me, remember?"
Blaine whimpered and nuzzled closer to Sam, "Thank you so much Sam," he whispered, and Sam just tightened his hold on him.
It took Blaine about a year to officially come out, even though most already suspected. Sam was pretty sure he would always remember the swell of pride that he felt for his friend when he saw that someone had spray painted 'FAG' on Blaine's locker and the little note under it written in Blaine's neat handwriting that read 'And proud of it!'. The second he spotted his best friend he pulled him into a tight hug and whispered how proud he was of him. Blaine just laughed and shrugged him off, telling him that people would start to think that he was gay, too. At that moment Sam didn't care. He slung his arm around Blaine anyway, practically daring someone to say something.
Sam became quarterback at the beginning of his junior year in high school, which was good, because he definitely needed the cool boost since Santana dumped him over the summer. It was also a bonus to see Karofsky and Azimio's faces when they saw who the QB was. He could still hear their words from the year before, 'Just ditch the queer, you'll be at the top. Nobody will dare touch you'. As quarterback, he was pretty sure he couldn't get more to the top, and he had managed to keep his best friend along the way. So those two assholes could just eat their words.
The first few months of school were amazing. It seemed like suddenly nobody wanted to shoot Blaine dirty looks or accuse him of dragging Sam down with his gayness. It also helped that Finn and Puck finally decided to stop being jerks and became friends with Blaine again. Soon, about half the football team seemed to be really close to the kid that they had been throwing slushies at and tossing in dumpsters. Blaine actually became strangely close to one member of the team, Mike Chang, who barely ever spoke and seemed to just always be around. As their friendship progressed, Mike slowly came out of his box and started participating more in conversations, on top of also starting to attend parties. For a while Sam wondered if maybe there was something going on with Mike and Blaine, something more than friendship, but he kept remembering that Mike had a girlfriend, an equally quiet girl named Tina who instantly bonded with Santana after Blaine introduced them. For some reason, he was relieved to find out that Mike was, indeed, not Blaine's boyfriend.
The rest of the football team and a few losers from the hockey team still harassed Blaine, but it was significantly less obvious than his first two years of high school. Sam gave his status as quarterback full credit for this.
But then in November Sam's whole world seemed to fall out from under his feet.
He had been doing his homework, after being literally forced up the stairs by his mom and forcibly sat down in his chair, while being reminded that back when he was eight he had always seemed to be really excited to do homework. Sam had rolled his eyes, and then glanced at the 'What I Like' list written in eight year-old Blaine's handwriting still on his cork board. He had to laugh at his eight year old self when he noticed the heart beside his best friends name, and the fact that he had circled both items.
He was about halfway done with his math when Blaine had burst into the room, a giant smile on his face and gave Sam one of the tightest hugs in the world.
"Whoa, okay," his chair rolled back a bit when Blaine let him go and he laughed as his best friend fell on his bed, his arms spread out, very reminiscent of when Sam had shared his first kiss with Santana so many years ago, except obviously the positions were swapped.
"Are you high?" he asked as Blaine let out a dreamy sigh. He shook his head and turned to look at Sam, and Sam could swear that his eyes were literally shining.
"Remember when we were like... thirteen? And you told me what if felt like to kiss Santana? With the explosions and all that?"
Sam nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off of Blaine's for one second. Blaine grinned.
"I finally understand how that feels."
Sam's eyes widened and he felt like someone had just punched him in the gut.
"What... how... huh?"
Blaine giggled and stretched, wriggling a bit in the bed, "Well remember how I told you that I had met this cute guy at the GAP?"
Sam just nodded, unable to say anything. It was like all of his words got lost on the way to his mouth. He noticed that Blaine's shirt had ridden up slightly when he had stretched. Had he always been that tan? He quickly tore his eyes away, looking back into his best friend's eyes.
"He asked me out," Blaine was grinning from ear to ear now, and yeah, his eyes were definitely shinning. Sam swallowed the lump in his throat.
"He asked you out?" and he was pretty sure that he sounded annoyed but playful at the same time, "And you didn't tell me? Dude!"
"I didn't want to jinx it," said Blaine, winking. Sam felt his cheeks reddening, and was he really blushing? Shouldn't that be Blaine?
"Well, obviously it succeeded if you're this giddy," he said, forcing a smile. Why wasn't he happy for Blaine? Blaine had been happy for him when he and Santana had started dating. Why couldn't he be the same for his friend?
Blaine nodded, clamping his mouth tight, obviously trying not to squeal. Sam remembered when he had been in that position, thirteen, finally having been kissed by the girl of his dreams and Blaine had laughed at him and been happy for him, and had awkwardly asked him what it was like. So why couldn't he do that for Blaine? Why did he feel the urge to just... punch this guy in the face?
"He kissed me," and Sam felt like someone had literally pulled a rug from under his feet.
"Really?" he managed, even though his voice was slightly higher than normal. Blaine obviously didn't notice.
"Oh God Sam," he sighed happily, "It was just like you said! With the stomach explosions and... oh God, I probably sound like such a girl but I really just want to squeal very loudly right now."
Sam nodded, although inside he was seething. Who did this guy think he was? Just marching in and stealing Blaine's kiss-with-a-boy-ginity. He was probably some forty year-old creep who had his friend under some sort of magic spell or something...
"How old did you say he was?" he asked, his voice now way deeper than normal. Again, Blaine didn't notice.
"Twenty," he replied happily, "Oh, Sam, his lips were so soft... it was so amazing... I didn't know kissing could be like that..."
"Well, you've only ever kissed girls before, more specifically you've only ever kissed Rachel, so of course this would seem wonderful," Blaine looked up at this, and Sam wondered if maybe he had noticed how stony his voice was.
"What? No, I've kissed a boy bef..." his eyes quickly widened at what he had said and so did Sam's. He clapped a hand over his mouth and quickly tried to amend what he just said, "I mean, you know, I've imagined what it would be like..."
"Who?" asked Sam, and Blaine's eyes got even wider. Sam had tried to keep his tone neutral but apparently it had come out much harsher than he had intended. "Nobody, nobody, forget I said anything..."
"Blaine. Who have you kissed other than this GAP guy?"
Blaine swallowed, the glow in his eyes suddenly gone, "Look, Sam, I want to tell you, really I do, but I just... I can't! It's not my secret to tell," he whispered the last words, sitting up. Sam looked all over his face, searching for some kind of sign of who it was, but he found none.
"Fine," he decided, and then, before he could stop himself, he asked, "So where did this guy take you?"
Blaine's grin returned and so did the light in his eyes and in that second, Sam decided that no matter how much it seemed to bother him that someone had taken Blaine out and kissed him (why did it bother him?) he would be happy for his friend. Because whoever this grandpa was obviously made Blaine happy, and seeing Blaine happy really was enough.
It didn't mean that he wasn't allowed to feel slightly sick to his stomach when Blaine started gushing about the guy's lips again.
He kissed me.
He kissed me.
He kissed me.
Every time he heard the words in his head, Sam felt the inexplicable urge to start blowing chunks.