Dear Diary,

Well, hello there! My name is Hamilton Fawn Derrièra, and I am 58 years young with a full head of hair. My eyes are a lovely shade of blue, and my measurements are 60', 74', and '72. I thought I would describe myself to you, since you will be my primary venting space.

Let's start with today's events, shall we?

At precisely 5:58 A.M., my alarm clock woke me up to the charming melody of Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift. She's such a pretty girl. Anyways; I sprung out of bed, slipped on a pair of underpants, (something my son demands after an unfortunate incident a few months ago) and stepped into my fuzzy bunny slippers. My robe was waiting for me on the door, so I put it on before venturing out into the rest of the house.

My twenty-three year old son, Gilligan Renae Derrièra, earlier mentioned, was still sound asleep in his bed, so I went into his room and began to sing the chorus of Arms by Christina Perri to awaken him gently.

"Father," he mumbled, ever-so-sweetly. "I'm trying to sleep here, please stop your beautiful ballads and save them for later." He then lazily rolled over.

"But Gilligan! It's 6:04 A.M.! You can't sleep in!" I insist.

"Father. We do not work on the farm like Akari does." I hear the candy in his voice as he says Akari's name. I do say, I believe he has a 'smash' on her, as the hip kids call it!

"Yes, but we do have a schedule to maintain! Your dear future wife lives on a very agreeable schedule, though!"

"Father!" Gilligan snapped; the utter disrespect in this child! "Akari is NOT my future wife, and I would like a few more hours of sleep; I don't even work for you anymore!"

"Fine, I'll leave you alone, but I'm making you breakfast; be ready in 15 minutes!"

Little Gilly mumbled something about locks as I walked out.

After an uneventful breakfast, Gilligan styled my hair for me, as he does every day. He then decided to invite a few friends over; Chase, the local chef, Luke, the deranged carpenter (I confiscated his axe when he came in so he didn't have a chance of harming little Gilly), and Toby, the sleepy fisherman.

I decided they were hungry, so I got to cooking some tomato risotto in the kitchen. As I was cooking, I sang Black Keys by the Jonas Brothers, "She hits the gas…hoping it would pass…" All of Gilly's little friends started giggling; they must have been talking about some girl they all fancy.

They devoured the risotto! It's my little sweetie Gill's favorite. I shooed them out of the house and told them to be safe. Of course, I turned on Gilly's hidden baby monitor (he has never known about it!) to ensure he was 100% safe.

Nothing out of the ordinary occurred - Chase and Gilly argued over Akari while Toby mumbled something about Molly, Akari's sister. I reckon Chase and Gilly both have sheep's eyes for Akari, while Toby likes Molly. I can't blame any of these boys - the girls certainly are lovely specimens!

When the boys returned from their afternoon out, it was past dinnertime. They had eaten at the Sundae Inn; Chase is a marvelous cook. I wish I had an apron like that...Maybe I can sew one, but add a couple flowers and a lace trim! Yes, that would be just lovely.

Oh, Diary. I guess having you will help me sort out my thoughts. Thank you for listening to my rambling for today.

I just have a question...How can I get my little Gilly to ask Akari on a date...?

I know! I'll ask her FOR him on the news station tomorrow! I'm such a genius! Ha-ha!

Well, I must bid you goodbye, fair Diary. I will capture you later!

~Hamilton~

: - )

Hey all! Violetfireflies and I thought we'd whip up something special for you all! Hammy's diary. Oh, dear. I'm afraid for the mental sanity of you fair people, as well as ours! XD

Let us know what you think. We're going to take turns writing entries; this was mine, swingdancer23's! Hope ya liked it :)