Hey. First of all there are gonna be lots of thanks... thank you for clicking and reading! Thank you for Tumblr because there are so amazing people, thanks to Aerynv and thanks to the 11th episode of True Blood for ruining my day.

The story was written before airing of 12th episode..

also I own nothing,... not even this PC.

About fanfic: this is Pam/Eric fic, not anti Sookie.

Also sorry in advance for my English. (No I don't want Beta, yes I'm very stubborn) If you have negative comments to story, say it! If you have negative comments to my English please keep the silence because there is a bit of Pam in me :).

Pam's POV

"Get of my sign before I kill you" how he said it , it scared the fuck Eric? What the fuck? I couldn't say anything else, I stayed next to King Bill for the rest of the night, I watched them going inside to kill the bitch, five seconds before I would be the first to enter the place, the first to rip her heart out but now I kept silent and stayed outside as far from Eric's view as I could. Bastard! I wanted to scream, to slap his face, to remind him who he is. Seems like the fairy didn't help him with the spell a lot. He seemed to loose himself, completely. I understand he is so crazily in love, fairy blood? Because come on, what's so amazing about that girl. Okay I would do her anytime but there are plenty of girls who would give up life just to be with Eric for one second. I disappeared as soon as they were inside, I was sure, nothing could happen, not to Eric, especially now and honestly for the first time in my life I didn't give a shit. He sent me away, I went away, of course party because I was scared, I knew he could kill me and probably he would so I was thankful for a bit of saneness in him. Maybe somewhere deep there is one brain cell. I came to Fangtasia, no one was there, the wiccan bitch killed a lot vampires, Points for her but still I wish I saw her dying.

The only one who left was Ginger, she came to me with 6 injections, every fucking night for the rest of my life. Funny. Maybe with the death of Marnie, will die her spell? I doubt that, seems like luck is not on my side these days.

In that time I was somehow happy to see this screaming doll, she was sweet, at least the only one who left. "Fuck you Eric!" I smashed everything what was around, I bet I will have to pay for it later but now I just want to see you hurt Eric, you will regret it later and especially your purse. I will never forgive him.

Injections felt like nothing this time, I had no idea where to go. I wanted to go away so badly, run away. Shit, one would never guess, I would want to run away, I hate it, I'm not such a soft little baby, that would be what Sookie would have done. So I thanked the human for torturing me for 5 minutes and making me look extremely beautiful again and went away, to my house, to Chow's house, Chow was who knew where. Maybe dead, was Chow dead? Don't ask me. Go! Go! Ask the amnesiac, the only who behaved like 5 years old and after we all thought there is gonna be a happy ending he behaved like 6 years old. Once again I mumbled something I had no idea what was, probably some cursing and went away, leaving Ginger with "what to do" for the first time I felt something towards her, she worked nights and days, the screaming creature was really loyal and had a child which was a big minus but in that time I had to admit I liked her more than my own Maker.

The sleeping felt like a must than a need that night, I cried, I really literally cried and had bleeds on my face. "Why Eric? Why?" I asked myself that question over and over again. "After all this, Eric, this is not an end"

Eric's POV

Pamela disobeyed me and she did it at a very wrong time. No time for her sarcastic black humor. I admit everything was about Sookie but this human she stole everything from me, my dead heart, my coldness, I would die for her every second and the Bill thing was there and I knew, I know how much he cares for her and I just couldn't, I couldn't, I don't want her to be with everyone else, I want to be hers forever, I want her, her lips and everything what is attached to them. My fairy and Pam was there and she shot, she did, she could have killed her, she could have harmed her. I wanted to kill her, I wanted her to see burning without regrets. I thought I will kill her when I heard her voice, I would kill everyone for Sookie as stupidly as it sounds I would have done that. The ripping off the heart of this wiccan idiot was a good sacrifice. It wasn't only about Marnie, it wasn't only about some dumb victory .. witches vs. vampires or how cool it was that we were able to fight for our lives like badasses all in black and with King Bill by our side, this was about everything, I felt such a relief, I was so mad at Sookie, Pam, Bill, world, death, my life, I felt like a sad sad puppy teenager. I know I should have but I didn't, she was there, Sookie and that was the only thing that mattered thought now I know how blind I was, I'm afraid, I will never be able to make it up, I'm afraid pumps and Cartier won't be enough, I smiled to myself when I thought about Pam and her love for silly jokes in right situations, Cartier ... aw Pam, my baby girl, how I miss you. Please forgive me, I have done you harm, I know I may be the only one who has this ability, to hurt Pamela Swynford de Beaufort.

I hope it's not that bad, I'm not promising another chapter but ... there is this option :)

please review, thank you