"The vixen and her hare"
"The hungry vixen begins her hunt"
It was a beautiful spring day in the ever so whimsical yet toony random American forest. Though the sun was up and shining with its warm rays, this morning was quite chilly due to the vast amount of shade the oak trees were making. There in a hole under a small hill lived a beautiful anthropomorphic toon vixen. Her name was Samantha, 20 years old (in human years) in her prime. She had typical fox features: black forearm and calf sleeves and ears, white fur on her luscious bushy tail, on the muzzle, going down her chest and belly all the way to the private parts and orange fur all over. As to her figure, she was quite feminine with a curvaceous hourglass shape, with all the attributes a woman of the forest such as herself should have including a poof of fur upfront covering her man-appealing mammalian bosom. To top it all off with glimmering green eyes and stunning pretty red hair that reminded of Jessica rabbit's, only hers dropped down like one immense strand, with two forelocks in front covering her forehead.
Samantha woke up and yawned in a very sweet manner. She had an alluring voice that could make any male sweat with arousal. The fox felt her hair, which was all shaggy and messy from the lack of sleep she got last night. So she sat up with her eyes still drowsy and trying to assess the situation.
"Mreh! I hate bad hair days! My body still feels tired! Couldn't rest at all!" The girl frowned and got up from bed with a big displeasure.
All irritated and filled with frustrations she proceeded with brushing her teeth, taking a dip in the nearby lake and after she dried up, grooming and brushing her fur and hair, which took her several hours. Putting on a low cut t-shirt that only covered her chest area (exposing the waist) and some shorts, the miss was finally ready so she emerged from the entrance of her hole, bursting with feminine attractiveness.
"Fwot-fwoooooot!" One of the readers whistled at her with admiration.
"Shut up! I'm still cranky from this morning!" The vixen snarled with not such a pleasant tone.
She started browsing around the forest for some goodies to eat. The only thing the female found were some sour wild berries, which she gulped ever so bitterly.
"Uuuuuuh! I've been on a berry diet for weeks now! It's been so long since I had some tender sweet meat! I'm a predator for crying out loud! If only I could snatch a nice round bird from old Jim's chicken coop! But that Don Juan dog is guarding it! As soon as he catches my scent, he swoops in and goes all Pepe Le Pew on me! But you wouldn't get it! After all, I presume that every one of you who is reading this is a guy!" She turned to the readers.
After some more looking around the fox lady started to get discouraged when she heard some singing. Her ears perking up and her body tensing up, the huntress switched to "Silent mode" approaching the melodious sound. It could be heard from behind a bush. Stealthily squeezing herself through the branches she saw the mysterious singer.
"Oh, the carrots that bloom in the spring time! I'd rather have carrots than fish or pheasants, or fowl, or even an owl, in fact they're my favorite dish!" Who would it be but Bugs Bunny himself, the most famous of the Looney toons, the symbol of Warner Brothers, singing a merry tune, while gathering carrots from his garden patch.
The carnivore babe was already desperate, licking her upper lip with her pupils turning into the reflection of the comedic hare. Finally a delicious bite to eat, all for herself. She had to have him for her meal no matter what. Moving cautiously with a toothy grin and eyes all insane and swirly, the vixen tried a surprise approach from behind. But as soon as she was about to snatch him, the bunny man startled her:
"Nyeeeh, what's up doctress?" Bugs suddenly turned around chewing his trademark vegetable "Quite a looker ain't she?" He hinted the readers.
"Uuuh… Hello!" Sam decided to improvise to regain the momentum of surprise "My name is Samantha Fox. I was just passing by and I couldn't not notice that lovely singing voice of yours." She waved her tail playfully as she sweet talked her newfound prey.
"Much obliged! Every simple activity goes much more smoothly with a song! Why, are you a fan of music?"
"Yes! I used to be the leading voice on my chorus back in my predator… I mean musical school years. Sooooooo, I was wondering! Would you give me the honor with another song?" The crafty fox grinned in a seemingly innocent way to hide her crafty nature.
"Well, I can't say no to a beautiful lady now can I?" The confident hare stood up, closed his eyes for more drama and put his hand on his chest "Ooooooooh…Someone's rockin my dream boat! Someone's invading my dream! Ah we were sailing along, so peaceful and calm, suddenly something went wrooooo…" and as he sang that note, he felt a pair of smooth warm hands seize him, pressing his arms to his body, and wrapping themselves around it "Hey what's the big idea? I thought you wanted me to s…" The bunny stopped as he stared at the vixen's gaze.
Samantha smiled evilly, tightening her grip on her soon to be breakfast, with eyes filled with hunger and bloodlust.
"Sorry, but I'm soooo hungry! I haven't eaten real food in weeks! I want to have you for breakfast!" She almost whispered, showing her teeth.
"Oh! Then how about we have breakfast in my place! It's much more closer! We can have a nice carrot soup…"
"I didn't mean have you as my guest for breakfast! I want to eat meat! And you're my victim! You can't talk yourself out of it!"
"You're right! But I can do this!" Bugs bunny poked her in the eyes with his long ears, which made the vulpine girl squat and hold her eyes.
"Ow, my eyes! Why you little…" The female looked around but he already jumped in his hole, which was just a few feet away from the garden "You think I can't go after you in that hole? If you must know we foxes live in holes too! I can easily jump after you!" She tried to dive after him but got herself in a bit of a bind.
Her bust was in her way and made her advance harder not to mention she couldn't go deeper than the beginning of her belly (her butt's in the way too, hehe). As much as she huffed and puffed and tried to force herself in with her feet, the vixen couldn't get free or drop down the hole.
"Curses! Sometimes being sexy has its disadvantages!" The curvaceous girl cursed, annoyed at her miscalculation.
Being kind at heart, Bugsy decided to give her a hand. With a little bit of effort and unconscious cooperation, he pushed her and she pulled herself out of the rabbit hole. Little did he know that this wasn't such a good idea. In return the starving fox didn't let go of his hand and started pulling to get her target out of its borough. But… that wasn't a good idea either, not to mention that the huntress didn't know our long eared hero very well. She pulled and pulled on a very long arm. It was made out of rubber. But that's not what was bad. On the end of it was a lit dynamite stick about to explode.
"Oh, no!" Was the only thing Samantha uttered before it blew up.
Her fur and hair were now a total disaster, a little burned and covered with cinder.
"Eeeeheeheeheeheeheeee! Let's see how she turned out shall we?" The rabbit cackled, going up to the surface. But his triumphant yet modest face completely changed when he saw what he did. The now grayish maiden was sitting on the ground with hands on her face bursting into tears and sobbing.
"Uwaaaaaaaaaaah! Boohooo hoo hooooo! My fur! My beautiful hair! They're ruined! "
Some heavy conscience fell down on the good natured bunny as he knew he overdid it. So he came up to her and said:
"I can't believe I made a lady cry! I'm terribly sorry! I went too far! Here, have a tissue!" He offered a paper hankie for her to blow her nose and wipe the tears.
But yet again, he let his good heart be taken advantage of. Bugs ended up in the same tight spot he started out in. Wiping off her fake tears, the clever Sam gripped him even tighter than before, smiling devilishly again.
"That dynamite stick made me realize who I was dealing with! Well mister Bugs Bunny, unlike Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck and the other male dimwits, I'm not an idiot! I'm smarter than all of them combined! And nothing you do will stop me from eating you!" The dastardly intelligent toon growled at the famous cartoon character right before trying to bite him on the neck.
Beads of cold sweat ran down on the back of Bugs Bunny's neck. He was internally shaking all over. She wasn't joking. The others were predictable pushovers, but not her. This starving carnivorous miss was cunning with a deceitful mind that was the ying to his yang. Right when our hero was out of ideas, and she was about to sink her fangs into him, he regained his composure pulling out his secret ace in the hole. The trick he always used in dire situations.
As her muzzle got closer to him, the rabbit suddenly grasped her by the head and kissed her straight on the lips, after which he quickly ran away.
The vixen fell on her butt after this act, completely stunned with no words left. After 10 seconds Samantha snapped out of it with great indignation of the humiliation she just received. Fast as a flying arrow, the rufous beauty sprang into action, following her nose wherever her prey may have gone.
Meanwhile Bugs had just stopped running. That kissing trick sure worked better than he expected.
"Wouldn't you know it! She actually found me after all!" The bunny man saw his persistent foe, running towards him.
Sighting in frustration Bugs ran in the opposite direction, away from the carnivorous babe. Reaching high grounds, neither the pursuer nor the pursued were willing to give up on their goals.
"Hahaaaa! Now I've got you! You can't run way up here since you risk stumbling off a cliff!" Samantha proclaimed victoriously.
"But I still do have so many options!" Mr. Bunny smirked in a cool manner.
"Oh, yeah? Like what?" The vulpine lunged herself with her claws reaching out.
"Like this." He grabbed her by the waist with one hand and her hand with another and started dancing with her.
Like on cue the background music changed into a classy violin tango. The dazed maiden still couldn't figure out what was going on. She just confusedly followed her prey's will nonchalantly.
"Don't think this is going to work! As soon as this little number of yours is over, I'll take a big bite out of your torso!" She snarled after accessing the condition she was in.
"You know, you're a very good dancer!" Bugsy ignored the threat in an easygoing manner, raising and lowering his eyebrows in a rhythmical way.
"Why thank you… but flattery will get you nowhere with me! I've been assaulted by many boyfriends wannabes who flattered me just like your friend Pepe simply to get me as a prize." Another barrage of onslaught came from the fox's mouth.
Just when they were at the edge of a cliff, the rabbit tried to spin her off it but got countered by his crafty adversary with a spin of her own that flung him in the opposite direction.
"Aaahaahaahaahaahaahaaah! You can't trick me that easily!" The carnivorous girl laughed, smug, thinking she was invincible.
But her ear picked up a hissing sound. It was a small fire cracker right under her feet. Sam jumped back all panicky. The explosive blew up in a safe range, which made her sigh in relief.
"I won't fall for the same thing again!"
"Adios Sammy! See you in Mayami!" The hare waved at the vixen like he was saying farewell.
"Adios? What do you mean?" A question mark appeared over the female's head. Right then she looked down and saw there was no soil under her feet. "I hate you!" she briskly said before dropping down from this great height.
"Well what do you know? She fell for it!" Bugs Bunny pointed at the empty space she once stood, glad that she pushed him away from danger before she fell herself "Ain't I a stinker!"
It was sure a long trip down. Screaming her head off, Samantha wondered what she could do to save herself. But it seemed that nothing could help her now. If only there was a miracle ready to happen. Yes! The place where she was about to land was a huge lake.
"Thank goodness! The water will break my fall!"
But as soon as the huntress hit it, it felt like she had fallen on a field of concrete. Disassembling like a Barby doll, the toon sank slowly into the blue abyss with silent agony written all over her face.
"What a maroon! Now that she's gone, I can finally relax!" The long eared character relaxed on a tree branch, up an oak tree, and tried singing once more "Fiddle dee dee, fiddle dee dy! All I can see are rainbows in the sky! Oh fiddle dee dy, tlu doo loo dee dee dee daa tloo tloo tloo dee…" but this song was cut short by the yells of an angry wet vixen that was waving her fist at him.
"Why you dang rabbit! Wait till I get my hands on you! I'll wring your neck, skin ya alive and cook you up in a big tasty stew!" Samantha threw a fit the likes the toon world has never known. "Now come down from there!"
"Mnyeeeeeh, make me, Samonella!" The mocking rodent looked down with a bored look on his face.
Absolutely furious by the insolent name-calling, the fox tried to climb the tall, thick stem but her efforts were fruitless.
"Rrrr! I forgot that us canines never knew how to climb trees!"
But that didn't discourage her. Leaving for a short while, she returned quickly with a book that said "Climbing trees for dummies". The book said that if you had no luck with going up stems, then you should search for a tree with low branches. Fortunately there was a towering greenery, fitting the description right next to the one Bugs was up on. Using the branches as stepping stones, the orange chick got up her target's level. There were two branches connecting both trees so she went for it. Of course when the villainous woman reached the middle of the second branch, her herbivore opposition started sawing it.
"Cut it out!" Sam pleaded
"Oh, you mean the branch?" the bunny derided her words and continued cutting.
"No not that?" She ran the other way.
Being as fast as she was, she managed to grab onto the branch of the first tree, right when Bugs was done cutting his branch. Alas the branch Sami held onto broke from the strain and weight and she ridiculously fell down again.
After some more advanced lessons, our two entertainers were skipping from tree to tree in a wild Tarzan chase scene, North American woods style. The rabbit started ascending to the very top of one of the trees. His nemesis wasn't far behind, as she strived not to lose him in between the leaves. Seeing him leap from the very top, she did the same. But in the hurry, not noticing where he jumped, she chose a random direction and transferred herself in a coniferous tree, which needle like foliage stung her without mercy. The aftermath wasn't pretty. It was almost like jumping in a cactus. The fox was all covered in bruises from falling from a hard rough branch to another, and her entire fur coat and hair were filled with pinecones and needle-leaves.
"Remember doctress! You should always look before you leap!" The buck toothed hero emerged from a beech nearby.
"You did that on purpose! Mr. know-it-all rodent! This will never wash… and it's late… Curse you! Mark my words, you haven't seen the last of me! I'll get you and eat you if it's the last thing I do!" The girl felt flustered all over and decided to wrap it up for today and go home since it was already past sunset.
"Good night Samantha! See you soon!" The ever so cheerful and charismatic Bugs Bunny waved good bye, getting down and walking off towards his hole.
"Yeah, yeah, good night!" An uncaring response wave came from the female vulpine with her back still turned.
"You know? I think I will see her again real soon!" The little grey rabbit came to a conclusion.
For Samantha this was officially the worst day ever! After two hours in her private lake cleaning up her beautiful skin, hair and fur from all that leftover cinder and elements of pine, she licked her sore spots and sprawled on her comfy bed. She was still ever so hungry and with strained nerves beyond belief. She must be losing her touch to get so thoroughly humiliated by prey. But then again this wasn't just any prey. How dare he do this to her? Yet she had to admit… That Bugs Bunny… He sure was interesting… that only motivated her further, for the long awaited result would be worth it.
"Wonder what will happen tomorrow." Were her last words before falling asleep.
Bugs Bunny and other Looney Tunes characters belong to Warner Bros.
Samantha Fox belongs to Rod_Vulpine
Songs taken from "Now hare this", "14 carrot rabbit", "Nips the nips"