Short Sherlock/John SongFic- The Cave (Mumford & Sons)
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind
"Well for fucks sake Sherlock you could at least TRY to act human for once!"
John knew he shouldn't have said it, knew Sherlock was having problems, was depressed. He could see it in those cat-like eyes that he had always been able to read so clearly. Of course it didn't slow Sherlock down, simply made him more intense, his work absorbing him so he wouldn't have to face the pain of rejection from society. But when Sherlock left the flat that day, a dark cloud hanging over him, hurt by his only friends words, John knew he should have followed, threw his arms around his best friend and insisted Sherlock confided everything with him, for Sherlock's happiness was all he really wanted.
The dejected doctor sat for a good ten minutes replaying the argument over in his head before grabbing his jacket and hurtling out the front door, desperate to find Sherlock and apologize, squinting in the morning sun that had just risen into sight.
Meanwhile in the Regents Park, Sherlock stopped his brisk walk and lowered himself onto a bench, putting his head in his hands. He didn't know why all this was suddenly getting to him so much, he thought he had moved past all the fears and the faults, he was Sherlock Holmes, the Worlds Only Consulting Detective for gods sake. Quickly his thoughts moved to John, the one person able to make his heart feel less empty and wished he was with him now.
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat.
Sherlock believed for so long he toughened up, he was untouchable, a sociopath, hardened by the brutal realities of criminal investigations. But all of that fell away now and he found himself reaching into a small pocket of his coat, one that was rarely opened and was unknown to anyone but him. He had hoped he would never have to stoop this far, but all the hurt seem to engross him and gave him what felt like no choice. In the pocket was a small bottle, containing a single pill. Sherlock smirked at the pill; it was from the first case John had ever worked on with him, the so called 'A Study In Pink'. But John never understood what the pills meant to him, a way out… if ever needed. There was nothing left for him now, Sherlock really needed it…
The noise made Sherlock drop the half-opened bottle in surprise, and then John came into view, panting yet determined and did not flinch when he saw the bottle in Sherlock's hands, merely took the seat next to him and looked him dead in the eyes,
"I know what you're doing Sherlock, please don't let this happen, I know you. I've seen so much agony in this world, so many people torn apart by their unspoken depression, I just can't bear seeing it happening to you anymore." John blinked back tears and swallowed hard, trying to keep his emotions under control, "I am so, so sorry I didn't try and get through to you sooner, I'm sorry I was never the friend I should be and I'm sorry about everything that's ever happened to you but .."
Sherlock lifted his shaking hands to his head, pushing back wild strands of hair, breathing heavily and then growled,
"You know I've got nothing John, nothing except you and our damned flat. I've been knocked down too many times now, I cant fucking get up anymore… And you can try and help as much as you want and god John I appreciate that so much but know as well as I do that if anything else happening… I'll lose it, and I'll lose you…" Sherlock's breath hitched and then he couldn't stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks anymore.
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
John watched as the man he admired so much broke down in front of him, clutching onto his coat, his sorrows absorbed by the warmth of Johns strong embrace. The two men sat there for a while, an ex army doctor comforting a consulting detective on a park bench. Abruptly John sat up, taking Sherlock's face roughly in his hands,
"I will not let that happen, you hear me? I am never letting go Sherlock, not anymore. You will never lose me, and that's a promise. I don't care how hard it is to keep, nothing will happen to you, not when you've got me" John stopped for second, his tone softening as he saw Sherlock's panic slowly drain away "you don't have to suffer alone anymore, I wont let you" John smiled weakly at him, "I wont let you."
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Sherlock searched for the reply he needed, but for once his brain couldn't help him, so he looked at the person he needed and trusted more than anyone else in the world and let instincts take over.
Their lips met in a mix of longing and tears and as Sherlock sighed into his mouth, John pulled away for just a second, simply because taken aback by Sherlock's physical response, but Sherlock quickly murmured "I'll do it John, I promise. For you Please, I have never needed anyone before John, yet right now I feel I need you more than anything, I cant stand to feel like that any longer" And with that the kiss deepened, Sherlock pulling John into his coat, feeling safe and happy at last.