Right this is my first go at nine. So sorry if he is a bit OOC, I'm so used to writing ten.
She's safe, so why do I feel so guilty? Probably because I sent her home without asking her. But if I had asked her, she would never have agreed and she would have wanted to stay with me. God she is so stubborn, but I do like that about her, I have to admit. Rose may be very young still, but she has a very strong character and I'm glad I had her with me, even if it was only for a short time. I hope that now she's back at home with her mum and Mickey (can't believe I called him 'Mickey' not 'Ricky', what is the world coming to? Am I so guilty about what I did to Rose, that I'm calling her 'boyfriend' by his real name? Oh well, doesn't matter anymore. I'll probably never see her again now. I'm going to die and that's that. Someone else will have to take over from me in saving the universe). Maybe it's time for me to die now, my whole race is dead and I have nothing left.
No, you idiot, you had Rose.
But she's not here anymore.
You sent her away.
So that she would be safe. Maybe I should have just let history take its course.
But what would Rose have said?
I can't believe how much I actually miss her. It's like I need her; possibly more than I've ever needed anyone in my life.
God, I really hope she's all right and that she understands why I had to do what I did. I didn't want to do it, but if I wanted her to be safe and alive, then that was what had to happen. If I do die though and if there is such thing as an afterlife; I won't be alone, maybe the other Time Lords will be up there and possibly when the time comes, Rose'll be up there too.
It's moments like these that you can't help but wait for a miracle to happen, even though y'know you're not gonna get one. Better to live in hope though. That's what I think. And it's what Rose would have told me to do.
Jeez, even thinking her name makes me feel guiltier. I wish I didn't feel guilty. I have felt guilty before, but other than what I did to end the Time war, never on this scale. Nothing could overtake my guilt for the Time war, but this defiantly comes a close second.
I wish, she would come back. I wish she was here with me now. She may not be safe, but at least I would feel a bit less lonely. Jack's around somewhere, but without Rose by my side, I feel empty and hollow. That sounds so selfish, but it's the truth.
When I sent the TARDIS back to Earth with Rose inside, I realised something important, something that maybe I should have realised a long time ago:
I'm in love with Rose Tyler and I don't think I can live without her.
I hope that was all right. Like I said, that was the first time I have ever written nine and I was slightly worried about the turnout of this story. But I hope you enjoyed it all the same.
BTW, I'm back at school now, so the updates will be coming in later than I would like. I am writing chapter 5 of 'Possessed?' but it is taking a rather long time, but I hope to post soon.
Thank you for reading.