I was bored of fluff, so I wrote some angst.
Basically just a write up of that scene at the end of volume two in the rain.
Part of my fanfic 100 attempt!
The rain is hitting the ground with such force that it's bounced off the pavement. One minute out of doors and I know I'll be soaked to the skin.
I don't want to get wet. But then I want to talk to Matt even less.
The rain and my panic make me blind. I can't see two feet in front of me. "You're being stupid, Chriss," I tell myself. "He wouldn't follow you." But when I glanced behind he is following me, so I run all the harder.
"Go away!" I yell, and it isn't just rain streaming down my face now, but tears too. I can feel their warmth, and taste the saltiness as I pant, trying to take in enough air to keep running.
I don't know where I am any more, or who I am, or what I'm doing. I just know that if he catches me something awful will happen.
"Hooonk!" The sound of the car horn cuts through my numbness. I'm in Christie, and I'm in the road, and a car is heading for me. I'm frozen, I can't move. I'm going to die.
Violently, painfully, I'm pulled backwards by my wrist. The car rushes past and splashes us with rain water from a puddle. But it doesn't really matter; we're already wet. Matt's arms are wrapped tightly and protectively around my waist.
"Look where you're going, you dumb kid!" screams the driver.
I stamp on Matt's toe and run as hard as I can. But I don't have much of a head start this time and he catches me easily.
"I'm sorry," he says, genuinely.
I don't care anymore.
I pull my hand away from him violently. "Leave me alone," I sob, and my words are hardly coherent. When did I start crying that much?
A man with an umbrella grabs at him. "Hey, buddy, stop bothering her!"
Matt turns and the man sees his eye. "…damn," he mutters. I guess that's a reaction Matt gets a lot.
It doesn't seem that Matt cares about that. Right now he only seems to care about me. "…I'm sorry," he repeats, ignoring the man.
The tears won't stop pouring, but I'm calmer now. I take Matt by the wrist and lead him away.
"…Kids, sheesh!" I hear from the man as we run for shelter.
It's cold in the bus shelter, and half of the roof leaks. I shiver in my wet clothing. I'm holding Matt's hand now, not his wrist.
"You're a jerk," I tell him.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"…you're soaked." I try uselessly to brush the water from his shirt. I don't acknowledge his apology.
"So are you."
I can feel that I'm going to start crying again. I screw up my face and sniff back the tears. There's no point getting upset.
His hand reaches out for me, reaches to stroke my hair, but I bat it away with a, "Don't."
He says he's sorry, but he doesn't back off. He's leaning against the wall beside me.
"Why do you have a girlfriend?" I ask. The pain is heavy in my voice, and I know he hears it.
"You didn't call," he says, which makes me feel like an idiot. Why didn't I call him? He is right, it's only me who's to blame.
"I did call. I…there was a…" And I realise that it's too late for that. Excuses aren't important. It happened, it's past. I didn't call him. And now I'm too late. "…It doesn't matter now."
I realise I'm resigned to my fate.
His arm lowers and he moves closer. I can feel his hot breath on my face. He smells of rain and cologne. The warm breath feels so inviting in the cold night air. He's so close to me now; it's obvious what he wants.
I slide away from him.
I don't want him, not if I can't have it all.
He tries to trap me he's so desperate, but I just have to look him in the eyes. I know I wouldn't hurt me like that, because he tried to kill the man that did.
"This isn't right, Matt." I state.
The rain goes on falling; I walk away, and so does he.
We have nothing else to say.
Not even a goodbye.