note. bleach © tite kubo.
.& to my beloved annie.
— swallow all the stars in the sky
by breakable bird
She's beautiful. She knows she's beautiful. It's in the curves of her body, the ways of her mouth, the quiet feeling of her hair. The delicate, endearing bosom and the manner of her legs when she walks.
When she's beside Gin, Rangiku feels ugly.
(Rangiku, don't cry.)
To her he's—
Loving is dangerous, Rangiku learns, because love eats you whole and spits you empty. Love enters without knocking and then leaves, and you see the missing pair of shoes and you want to cry because you're all alone. It's for you, Rangiku, he says, and he's such a bastard. A betrayer, Rangiku thinks, except no because how could he be a betrayer, the young boy who kicked death away and gave her a free smile?
She loves that smile.
(... change things, so they'll end without Rangiku having to cry.)
But don't you see, she thinks. Don't you see, Gin? He's always leaving her behind, trying to (to what?)—and she gets lonely sometimes. Her Captain understands, because Hinamori-chan doesn't walk in his shadow (following someone else, don't you know what you're doing, pretty girl). Rangiku loves Gin's smile, even though people whispers. Off-putting, they say, creepy, malicious. In him, she only sees kindness.
(Gin, Rangiku says, Gin, do you know what I feel when I say your name?) Do you know what I feel when I see you walking away?
"It would have been nice if my capture lasted a little longer. Farewell—"
Don't say it, she thinks. Breakingbreakingbreaking. Uglier than ever.
Gin, I— "Sorry." Gin doesn't look sad, Rangiku decides, because betrayers aren't sad when they leave. And so she closes her eyes (brief like a butterfly kiss), and remembers the thoughtful sharp boy she once—she still—
Rangiku looks above, and bites back a smile when thinking, alone again?
(I can't follow you this time.)