Bacteria Song

(To the melody of Don't Cry For Me Argentina)

They are so tiny, people think them strange

The bacteria that live everywhere

And most people fear them, for the sickness some cause

But they're not evil

Less than one percent hurt you

And the rest are benign

Some even, are helpful to you

They invented photosynthesis, giving us oxygen

Some even, will eat toxic waste

They help make dairy products, they make salami

They make insulin

To help diabetics, so that they don't die

But still people hate bacteria

And all I'm wondering is why

No need to fear bacteria

The truth is, they usually won't hurt you

All through Earth's history

For three and a half billion years

Bacteria reproduce

Don't try to stop them

And as for design, and as for genes

Bacteria are by far the simplest life

They are one to ten microns

That's one one-thousandth of one millimeter

And they don't even have nuclear membranes

But can you think of an organism that's neater?

No need to fear bacteria

The truth is, they usually won't hurt you

All through Earth's history

For three and a half billion years

Bacteria reproduce

Don't try to stop them

Have I said too much?

There are three more facts I must say to you

There are over four pounds of bacteria in our gut

And in soil over a billion in just one teaspoon.

And on our skin,

Bare with me for just a moment more,

A trillion bacteria live

Or you know, it even could be more