Chapter 1: iFrench HER

Freddie's POV


I still couldn't believe Melanie was real. I mean she didn't kiss as good as Sam (which is something Sam will NEVER hear from me-she'd break my body in way too many places) but still. Not that kissing Sam was enjoyable, of course. It was awkward kissing one of my best friends, but I was glad to get the whole first kiss thing off my chest. Those first few days after the kiss were a little weird too, and Carly was a little confused as to why we were acting so odd. I'm over it now though; it wasn't even that big a deal.


Crap. My crazy mom was trying to get me to take a tick bath. "I'll take a tick bath when I get home, OK Mom?"

"Well, only if you promise to eat something healthy at Carly's party."

"Sure, Mom." Like that was ever gonna happen. I slammed the door and crossed the hallway to the Shay's apartment. Since we've known each other for so long, I just walked in.

"Freddie! You came!"

I turned to find a tall blonde girl coming towards me; it was either Sam or Melanie. Judging by the pink dress, the heels, and the fact she called me Freddie, I figured it was Melanie.

"Melanie?" I asked to confirm my suspicion.

"Good job, what gave me away?" she teased as she handed me a glass of water. So much for junk food.

"Um, you didn't insult me when I came through the door…" I mumbled.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that Sam likes you."

"WHAT!" I yelled through what would have been in the running for world's best spit take.

"You haven't figured that out yet?" Melanie asked innocently.

"Sam does NOT like me", I said, stating the obvious, "she hates me."

Melanie laughed, "That's just her cover up", she said, then sashayed away.

I'm starting to think this Melanie chick is crazier than Sam is.

Around midnight, we started running out of fun stuff to do. Sam refused to play spin the bottle (I don't blame her) and nobody cared to watch the horror movie she'd brought- it was rated RR or some similar rating that I never knew existed. That's how we ended up playing truth or dare. My mom had finally decided to cut me some slack and let me stay longer. Thank God, Jesus, Buddha, and every other holy thing out there. Me, Spencer, Carly, Sam, Melanie, Gibby, and Brad were all that were left. Spencer was going to play, but he fell asleep on the couch. The rest of us moved into the studio and started playing. We put each of our names in a hat and that's how victims were picked. Carly picked first, and got Gibby.


"Aw, come on!" Carly complained. "What is there that Gibby wouldn't do willingly?"

Gibby shrugged. Carly thought for a moment and laughed.

"I've got it. Gibby, I dare you to squirt ketchup and mustard on people going past Bushwell and then yell, 'It's raining condiments!'"

Gibby sighed. "That's all?"

Carly frowned. "Well yeah… "

"Oh well", Gibby said-clearly disappointed, "Let's go get the rain."

Carly and Gibby headed downstairs to get the condiments while the others continued the game. Melanie was next. She reached into the hat and pulled out Sam's name.


Sam was grinning, so I figured either Melanie either gave easy dares or was about to explode.

"Okay- Sam, I dare you to French kiss Freddie for at least 20 seconds."

"Excuse me?" Sam asked, wide eyed. It would have been funny if- actually it was hilarious. Period.

"I dare you to French Freddie." I plugged my ears.


I'm pretty sure that woke up Spencer and worried Carly and Gibby but none of them surfaced.

"Are you too chicken?" Melanie asked. Doesn't this chick value her life? She must have a death wish, because Sam WILL kill her. She smiled, clearly enjoying Sam's irritation. Sam balled her fists.

"NO! Fine, I'll French the nub if you'll shut up."

Wait, what?

She scowled and walked over to me.

"Ready Benson?"

"Um… no."


She grabbed my shoulders and our lips smashed together. This was too weird. Within four seconds her tongue was in my mouth and within nine my tongue was in hers. It felt good, I'm not gonna lie. I couldn't imagine what my mom would say if she saw me French kissing a delinquent. After our 20 seconds were up (Melanie and Brad had been counting), we pulled apart and heard Carly shriek.