Twilight is not mine. Obviously.

Thank you to A Jasper For Me for helping me with this chapter.

This story contains sensitive issues like sex, drugs, death and mental problems. You have been warned. If you don't like, please just move along to another story.

You should be of legal age to read. Just sayin'.


CHAPTER 1

BPOV

Groaning out loud, I pushed myself up from the bed. The rays of the sun coming in from the windows were bouncing off the white-painted walls, brightening the room, making me squint from the glare.

I covered my eyes with the palm of my hands, rubbing off the last remains of sleep. Having shaken off the last vestiges of grogginess, I could see the whole room in its bleakness. The table and chair at one corner of the room were repainted brown in an attempt to try and bring out the original look of the furniture, but it still came off looking cheap.

The room was eerily quiet and the honking of a car nearby was the only sound heard. Too much alcohol intake on an empty stomach last night guaranteed a hangover of epic proportions this morning. My throbbing head was affecting me, but I ignored it and slowly moved to get up from the bed. I was aware of my nakedness and didn't attempt to cover myself. Looking down at my body, there were no visible marks - not yet at least - that could indicate some sexing happened last night. But the ache in my body was a testimony of what was a very satisfying and delicious sexual experience.

In the event that he might still be here, I decided I needed something to cover my body with, and pulled the sheet and blanketed myself. My heart started pounding erratically against my chest in the fear I would still find him somewhere inside this very small motel room. I wasn't ready to deal with that kind of awkwardness this early morning.

Checking the bathroom, I sighed in relief when there was no sign of him. But the slight disappointment I felt bothered me. I know I shouldn't expect a goodbye note from him, but I did. I even expected him to wake me up when he went. Who does that shit?

He was just a one-night stand, a roll in the hay if I was being honest to myself. He didn't have any obligation or whatever to me. So why was I affected that he didn't say goodbye?

Maybe because I didn't do shit like this. It was clear I was having difficulty dealing with it.

These conflicting reactions just cemented the fact that I shouldn't do this again…ever. I couldn't handle the effects after, of that I was sure. Albeit the perception of people, I wasn't that girl they thought was feeble minded and slept with just anybody. In fact, I had only been with one man…no, make that two now.

If I wasn't so goddamn emotionally exhausted after seeing my brother, this wouldn't have happened.

The visit to Emmett yesterday was longer than usual. His toothy grin that showed off those cute dimples made my heart flutter in joy that at least he was happy, even just for a while. Seeing me was one of those events where all his hesitation and fear would be clearly forgotten, as manifested in the way he was jovial again and not in the least agitated when somebody would touch the proverbial 'no go zone' – his nose. When it was time for me to say my goodbyes, he had tightened his hug around me as he was pulled away, screaming and crying, as our time together came to an end. Every shout pierced my heart, and I had clutched my bag so hard in order not to turn around and grab him from the attendants holding him. By the time I reached my car, my eyes were wet from the unshed tears, and my chest felt like it would explode. I never hated my mother more for putting him there.

I had tried to control myself and not scream when I slid inside the car, but the pain of seeing Emmett's sad and confused face made me cry so hard. My brother was different but I still loved him with all my heart. He saved me from the hell that was supposed to be our home, even if he didn't really know he was doing it. He was my hero in every sense of the word.

My main goal was to get him out of that facility that looked to be his hell once I had my hands on that money my father left me. By then I would've have finished college and would be able to support both of us. Whether or not I would be able to do that on my own was something I wasn't sure of. However, getting him out of that place was something I knew I had to do for him. He needed me, and I needed him as well.

Arriving in Seattle early evening, I had seen the neon sign of 'The Black Bar', a popular off-campus hangout, and decided to go in.

That was where I saw him. He was sitting alone at the other end of the bar from me, taking a swig from his beer and seemingly oblivious to all the attention he was getting from the girls who were seated at one of the tables.

Maybe if I didn't go to Emmett yesterday or wasn't too vulnerable because of it, I wouldn't have ended up being under him or on top either. Maybe it was the way he looked so aloof to all the things going on around him, or the way he raked his eyes all over my body when I went over to ask for a light. Who the hell knows?

I could ponder over and over why it happened, but there was nothing I could do about it anymore. It did happen. I just needed to forget about it and wished to god I wouldn't see him again.

Looking around, I saw the box of condoms we had purchase the night before. Checking to see the contents, I saw it was almost empty, reminding me how many times he took pleasure from my body. The delicious soreness between my thighs served as a reminder of how explosive my night with him was. Unconsciously, I touched my lips and then my breast. They were swollen and sore from his relentless kissing and sucking. He was a biter. His lips were like fire on my skin, scorching me until I exploded. Remembering last night was making me hot all over, and I tried to rub my thighs together to release some of the tension building between my thighs.

In his black worn-out jeans and plain blue shirt, I couldn't quite figure out whether he was new here in this city. I guessed he was. He was devilishly good looking, and someone would have noticed him if he was an old resident here. Half the girls on campus, especially Lauren, would literally throw themselves at him, seeing how gorgeous he was. I was guessing he was about my age, maybe a year or two older. He didn't talk much but the few words he uttered made me believe he was intelligent.

Edward. Even his name sounded scholarly.

I scrambled to get my clothes that were strewn all over the tacky room, cringing from what kind of dirt might have been on the carpet floor. I gathered all of the pieces of clothing and made my way to the bathroom to dress. Not wanting to stay longer than I should in this old and cheap motel, I was done only a few minutes after. I quickly walked out the room in the hopes nobody recognized me to go and run to inform my mother about this. I slid inside my Audi and quickly rolled down the windows, deciding to have a quick smoke before going home. It might help with the nerves. I couldn't help but sigh at my stupidity last night. I wasn't comfortable with sex with a stranger, but there was something about him that made me just let go. It was different but liberating. And it scared the shit out of me.

I continued to puff on my cigarette, hoping the last of my tension would go away. Last night with Edward was something I was unfamiliar with. It was like both of us were trying to get something from each other. Every kiss, every touch and every orgasm was like it was drawn out to heal the pain each of us was experiencing.

I hated when I was not in control of my emotions. Not only did I have a one-night stand, but also I had to have it with someone that affected me so. Dammit! As I took the last drag from my stick, my phone rang. Chucking the butt away, I answered quickly, knowing too well it would be Alice. She was a drama queen of all proportions, and I wasn't surprised when she started yelling angrily into the phone.

"What the hell, Bella?" she screamed. "I was going out of mind thinking something happened to you!" Her voice screeched as she ranted, and I had to pull my phone away from my ears, her shrilling was intensifying the ache in my head. She continued yapping and all I wanted was to hang up on her, but that would piss her off more. It was too early for this. I wanted to just crawl in my bed and get some additional more hours of sleep. But I knew it would be easier to let Alice's anger fizzle down like this. There was no use arguing with her when she was this bitchy, not only because I wasn't in the mood but because she always had to have the last word. Besides, this time she was right. It was wrong of me not to leave a message informing her of where I was.

"I'm sorry, Ali."

"Damn you, Bella," she hissed, but the long pause after that told me her anger was waning. "I didn't have a decent sleep because of you last night. Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm coming home-" I glanced at my watch "- in about twenty minutes, and I'll tell you all about it."

Alice didn't say goodbye before cutting our phone conversation, which meant she was really pissed.

I started the car and slowly backed out of the motel's driveway, suddenly wondering how Edward went home since he rode with me to this motel last night.

"It's not my problem anymore how the hell he left," I thought.

Traffic was still light and it took me only less than twenty minutes to get to my street. Making my way to my apartment, I pondered what to tell Alice. Telling her about last night was already a given, I just didn't know if I should mention how unnerved I was by how Edward made me feel. As I maneuvered the car, I decided against saying anything about the feelings I had. Instead, I would just talk about the whole sexual experience. To be honest, those were the best orgasms I had ever had. That thought made me smile.

Maybe talking about my one-night stand would steer Alice away from grilling me about Emmett. She was one of those few people who knew about my brother, but she was also too nosy to a point I wanted to hit her sometimes. I knew she meant well, but visiting my brother always left me raw and vulnerable. Most of the time I appreciated her listening to my rants and my sentiments, but other times, I just didn't even want to hash it out. Talking and explaining would mean I had to relive how sad and pathetic my life was.

I sighed and stopped outside my building. Straightening myself, I readied for another military-like interrogation from the now still pissed off Alice.

xxxxxxxxxx

It was a week after, but the effects of that night were still evident on my body. I had several bite marks on my shoulders and breasts, as well as, several hickies all over my body. He had left his mark on areas that were private. Wiping away the condensation that had fogged the whole glass, I stared at myself in the mirror. My forehead was creased in a frown. The brown eyes staring back at me were full of concern and irritation.

My mother, Renee, had just called a minute ago, and she basically ruined my day by simply uttering some few choice words about my brother.

"I never should have answered her call," I thought to myself.

I gripped the edge of the sink as I remembered her vile words. 'Isabella, I won't be bringing your brother home'.

I couldn't understand why she liked taunting me. She knew I would remedy all her actions once I get my trust fund. Half of the trust money my father had left me would be available when I would turn twenty-one. That would be in a year.

I raised my eyes to my reflection in the mirror and saw my nostrils flaring. Reaching out my hand, I rubbed the glass in an attempt to erase the image of myself.

I ran out the bathroom before I would take out my anger on the mirror. I was so angry at her for being a selfish bitch. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, so I closed them and wiped the wetness angrily, as if by doing that it would make it all go away. I knew I had a long way to go but I wouldn't let her get to me like the way she wanted to. Five hundred thirty three days to go. I could do it. I would make sure I would get that money even if it killed me.

Breathing in and out, I tried to control my anger and just not lose it. She knew she only had very little control over me now I was of legal age and was using Emmett to try and bend me, and she was successful on making me go along with her wishes. She still was. I might put on a brave front when she was around, but she was stretching my patience. I was really on the verge of snapping.

As I sniffled, I was chanting to myself 'she doesn't deserve anything from you.' No more tears for her. Just think of Emmett. In a year and a half, you would be together again.

When I was sure I had my emotions in control, I dressed and got ready for my first class. I really hoped this day wouldn't get much worse.

xxxxxxxxxx

But it did. It fucking did.

How would I have ever known I would be seeing him again? It never entered my mind as I tried to get through the day without cursing my mother, or give into the urge to drive back to Forks to argue with her.

After my classes ended, I was ready to go home and crash. The day had started off so bad for me because of that single call from my mother. I was still feeling the lingering effects of my anger of her and I planned to sleep it off, but my roommate and best friend, Alice, had other plans. So it was why I ended up here, in the middle of Jasper's living room with all the sweaty bodies dancing and grinding against each other.

It baffled me why I allowed Alice to rope me into these stupid games of hers. She had this need to bring me to these parties I had no desire to attend, but would end up going anyway just to give her moral support, moral support for her stupid schemes. But then again, she always had my back. So even if I would chastise myself over and over again for allowing her once again to persuade me into coming here, I would suck it up because I owed it to her to be wherever she needed me to be, however lame it was.

She was currently straddled atop Garrett on the couch across from me, kissing him as if there was no tomorrow. It was not like they were in love or something, she was just using him to probably try and make Jasper suffer for his indiscretion a year ago. Even though they had parted ways because of that, Alice was still bitter that he seemed to have moved on. Thus, the constant need for her to flaunt her newest relationship whenever she could, especially when Jasper was around.

Sipping the beer from the red cup, I tried to relax. Most of the people in attendance were friends or acquaintances. Some familiar faces came up to say hi, and talking to them entertained me for a while.

But as the night wore on, I was getting pissed. Some frat men were eagerly flirting with me, and one in particular, Mike Newton, was so goddamn persistent. I was about to tell him what I thought of him when I felt somebody put their arms around me. Turning to face to check who it was, I squealed in delight when I saw it was James.

Jumping in excitement, I enveloped my arms around his neck and gave him a peck on the lips.

Chuckling, he tightened his grip on my waist and twirled me around like something in a cheesy movie. I laughed as he did that, marveling at how much I missed him.

The men that hovered around me suddenly dispersed, afraid of what 'James Hunter' might do to them. He was the big man on campus up until he graduated a year ago.

Draping his arm around my shoulders in a possessive gesture, he leaned down to whisper for me to be able to hear, amidst the blaring music. "I missed you, Bella."

I smiled up at him, knowing he did. "I didn't know you were back in town," I said, as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. There was a time that I would have blushed when he did that. Not anymore. He was more like a brother to me than the boy I lost my virginity to.

"Yeah, just visiting some old folks." His grin widened, as if he told a joke I didn't quite understand. His expression told me he was happy, and he still didn't harbor any bad feelings towards me. But in the first place, he never did. I was glad for that.

"So, where's Vicky?" I asked. He had introduced his girlfriend to me the last time he had visited. She was nice, and I was happy he has her.

"She's not here. Work. Couldn't take a leave, so she told me to just come alone." He took a swig from the beer bottle he was holding. "But she demanded I haul back my ass to Philly as soon as I fucking can." He laughed, and I joined in his laughter. I loved that we still had that same friendship as before I broke up with him.

He removed his hand on my shoulders, and turned to stare at me with an expression I couldn't quite decipher. "Are you happy, Bella?"

I gave him a wavering smile, not really knowing what to say. He would know if I lied, so I stayed quite. Breaking the stare that was making me uncomfortable, I turned around and talked about Alice. He knew not to push, so he made no fuss when I changed the topic.

Offering to get me another drink, he left but promised to come back as soon as he got the alcohol. He was still so protective of me, and in a way I was glad that he still was. People thought he dumped me, and it was alright, really. I was okay with that. I really didn't fucking care what they thought. Their perception of me was something I was used to by now.

Standing alone, I scanned the room, checking out what activities the people were indulging in tonight. There were a couple of people making out - that was nothing new. Even the lanky kid, who was forced to consume more alcohol than he could take and who was vomiting all over the floor, was something I was familiar to.

My eyes roamed through the whole room until it landed on a lone figure leaning on the doorjamb of what looked like a closed room. He was holding a bottle of beer and he took a long drag from it, never removing his piercing green eyes on me as he did. It was him. His stare was boring a hole through me, and I couldn't help my heart from skipping. He licked his lips and I almost gasped out loud, because the intensity of his stare was becoming so erotic for me to bear.

I averted my eyes from him, trying to look elsewhere but where he was perched confidently against the door. Good thing James arrived moments after with his drinks. He immediately placed his hand on my waist, and I didn't mind. It was comfortable, and I didn't fucking care if the people in this room thought I was the bitch, who was trying to seduce him again. Fuck them! I didn't need to explain myself.

As James talked, I couldn't help my gaze from fleeting back to where Edward was standing. Every time I did, however, his eyes would catch mine. His stare was unwavering and it was unnerving me. I needed to get away from here. I didn't want a constant reminder of what happened a couple of nights ago. Edward's presence and his blatant perusal weren't adding to my resolve to forget it ever happened.

Kissing me on my cheek, James hugged me goodbye knowing he wouldn't be seeing me again tonight when I said I needed some fresh air. He knew me to well. Promising to see him before he left for Philadelphia, I waved goodbye and made my way out to the sidedoor.

I stepped out of the terrace and enjoyed the crisp night air. I took my time to reach the pool, which was surprisingly the only place that was free of people making out. Lighting a cigarette, I focused all my attention on the fascinating twinkle of lights the water in the pool was making. I was so fixated with the glow on the waters that it took me a while to notice the shadow that was becoming bigger as it neared.

Anticipating it to be James, I twirled around with a big smile plastered on my face. I dropped it immediately when I saw that it wasn't .

"Edward," I said with disdain, as I remembered how he didn't even bother to say goodbye, treating me as if I was some kind of a tart.

He looked more handsome than last week, dangerously so.

"You really know how to use that fucking body of yours, don't you?" he drawled so dispassionately, that I couldn't help but be insulted.

"So you say," I sneered. I was irritated and it was all because of him.

Before I knew what was happening, I was being tackled and we were falling into the pool. I was so shocked that I didn't have time to close my mouth, so I swallowed a lot of water when we went in. I was sputtering and choking when I resurfaced, while he was chuckling. If I wasn't gasping for air, I would've smacked him.

"You're an asshole!" I sputtered when I got my breath back. He was grinning and was slowly wading the waters towards me. His smug expression just made me more pissed at him, I was sure my nostrils were flaring when he stood face to face with me, only a few inches away from each other.

"Why the hell did you do that?" I spat.

He stared at me intensely; his eyes mirrored some unexplained emotions as he scanned my face for something. Before I knew what he was doing, he cradled my head and caught my cold lips in a rough kiss. The moment his lips touched mine, I felt my world exploded, like a bolt of lighting just hit me. Irrationally, I started to snake my hands around his neck, responding passionately to that single mind-blowing kiss. But it was over before I knew it; he had pulled away so suddenly, leaving me wanting and desperate.

"Dammit, Edward!"

He chuckled again and I wanted to slap him so hard I would erase that smirk on his face. "I wanted to see if you taste as sweet as I remembered."

"And?" The word was uttered before I could even stop it. It was too late for me to take it back so I just stared at him, cocking my eyebrow in challenge and acting as if my heart wasn't racing because of him.

His eyes flickered with something I didn't quite understood before he winked at me and turned around.

"You're a fucking prick! You know that, don't you?" I shouted, huffing in frustration. He continued to move to the other side, ignoring me. "Arrggghh!" My irritation with him was getting out of hand, but he seemed to be pushing all my buttons intentionally, and I didn't like it one bit.

I took a long, deep breath before I started moving towards the shallow part of the pool.

He turned so suddenly and said, "You know, I like you better when your legs are spread wide open for me."

I was so shocked. I stopped moving; my brain was processing what the hell he meant.

He didn't allow me to say anything before he hauled his wet body from the edge of the pool, leaving me gaping after him, wet and furious as hell.


Thought on this? Please. ;)