Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto (he literally stole the name, too; good luck, future mangaka, in making a character named Naruto…ever)

AN: This…I cannot explain this.

I was on the MSN website when I saw a story about the first 'tickle spa' being opened in Spain, and then this happened…

I actually started writing this a while ago, but then I went on a trip to New York and forgot all about it.

It's just a quick one-shot, kind of like PWP. No, wait, it is just a PWP.

.:This is dedicated to my dear friend Kimchi:.

Sasuke Uchiha saw himself as a respectable man. He was twenty, gay, a model student at his university, and still managed to share an apartment with a girl who, at first, loved him to the point of tears (and a copious amount of tears she shed!), but then later came to terms with his sexuality and now declared herself as his best friend of all time (cough fag hag cough). So the fact that this respectable man was tearing through his apartment with only an hour left before having to go to the airport (well, twenty minutes, really, if you consider traffic) was just another sign of his respectability to handling situations concerning panic very well. Right? Yes, right; don't argue.

"Sakura!" Sasuke practically shrieked (but not entirely because he simply did not raise his voice beyond a considerate volume) as he threw open the pantry for the sixth time in the last ten minutes, hoping that by some chance they would be there even though they weren't last time five times. "Where the fuck are my Wheat Thins?"

"I hid them," Sakura stated calmly, used to almost two years of the Uchiha's obvious insanity. The man hid it well, but Sakura wasn't fooled by his cool, composed exterior anymore. She had once gotten Sasuke to open up to her over a few drinks, and the things that plagued his mind were far beyond any comprehension level she could ever hope to attain. The guy dissected Disney movies until they were the most horrid films ever known to mankind. Sakura can never watch Snow White again without thinking about the woman being raped by all the dwarves, or questioning why the prince was there to begin with, kissing corpses.

Sasuke pressed his lips into a thin line and tried to will her push-up bra to snap apart and slit her jugular. "Hid them," he repeated. "I'm sorry, I'm failing to see any reasoning behind this, since, well, I am the one who pays for them." Die, bitch! Die, die, die!

"You eat them too fast, leave the box open for them to get stale, and then when they do get stale, you just throw it all out!" Sakura was not the least bit affected by the evil eyes Sasuke was giving her. He probably wanted something unimaginable to happen to her, like her bra straps snapping and slicing her throat, which was ridiculous. "So I've hidden them, and if you want some, I will gladly pour you a bowl."

"A bowl is not enough." Sasuke growled through gritted teeth. "I need to have an abundance of Wheat Thins at my very fingertips otherwise I am not satisfied." If there was one thing Sasuke enjoyed about having Sakura around was that he could truly express himself. He could say whatever came to mind and the girl would just take it in…and then spill her guts to her therapist once a week on Thursday evenings. Then she'd come home refreshed and ready to take whatever mental abuse Sasuke had in store.

"Deal with it, Sasuke! Why do you need them right now anyway? Ino will be here soon to bring us to the Newark airport and then we'll be on our way to Madrid! You don't need your stupid Wheat Thins." Sakura placed her hands on her hips and stared at the man who was in return attempting to mentally send her into the deep depths of hell where a monkey would make sure to violate her in every hole on her body.

Finally, Sasuke blinked and held up his index finger as though he were flipping Sakura off. "God damn it, woman, I want my Wheat Thins and I want them now!"

"Okay, fine!" Sakura yelled at him and stomped off down the hall. She returned a few minutes later with a box of the snacks that had yet to be opened.

"They were in your bedroom?" Sasuke asked as he took them from her.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Nothing, you're just a freak."

Sakura gawked at him. "I'm the freak? Sasuke, you were just throwing a tantrum like a five year old over a box of crackers!"

"Not just any crackers, Sakura. Sundried Tomato and Basil Wheat Thins. There is a significant difference, and I don't want to hear such blasphemous words towards one of God's greater creations." Sasuke said, his grip tightening on the box.

Sakura burst into a fit of giggles, walking over to the door of their apartment when a knock sounded from the other side. "Sasuke, you need help."

"I need a roommate that doesn't hide my food." Sasuke called after her, frowning when his come back was ignored.

"Hey Ino," Sakura said after she calmed down from her laughing, sighing as she leaned against the door, closing it behind her best friend since kindergarten.

"What's so funny?" Ino asked, waving at Sasuke who was staring at the two girls over the half wall that separated the kitchen from the living room and entry way.

"Nothing, Sasuke's just being a total girl is all." Sakura said. "C'mon, Wheat Thins. Grab your bag, time to go." She moved over to the coffee table where her own pink, green and white flower print bag was located. She yanked up the handle and rolled it to the front door. Sasuke met her there with his black luggage draped over his left shoulder.

Ino opened the door for the two, her keys and key chains jingling in her other hand. Honestly, she had only two sets of keys mixed with a bunch of crap decorations. And after their trip to Spain, she was going to have one more to add to her collection.

"Ohmigod, Sasuke! Look at the view!" Sakura shouted as she stepped onto the balcony of their hotel room. "It's gorgeous! Oh, I think I can see the whole square from here!"

Sasuke gazed past the girl and sighed. "Unimpressed," he stated and walked over to his suitcase to begin unpacking.

"You're always unimpressed," Sakura growled, leaning on the black iron railing of the balcony. "But I think you'll be impressed with what I booked us for this afternoon," she sang.

Sasuke pulled out the box of Wheat Thins he had packed and turned to the pink-haired woman. "I highly doubt that."

"A spa!" Sakura cheered, throwing her arms in the air as she spun around, her long, white skirt billowing out around her thins legs. When she received a blank stare in return, her smile didn't let up and she skipped back into the room. "It's a brand new spa that just opened here recently. It's all the rage and I think you need it so you can truly enjoy these next four days." Sasuke continued to stare at her. "It's called CosquilleArte."

Finally, Sasuke reacted…with a death glare passed down through his family for centuries. "What is that, some kind of kink shop? I'm not going to a spa called 'Tickle Art'."

"It's supposed to be really relaxing," Sakura pushed.

"I don't give a shit; it sounds like a set for a porno. I'm not going." He turned away from her.

"I paid a hundred and twenty dollars for it; you're going."

"Go by yourself,"

"You're going or I will post that picture of you at Kiba's party on Facebook."


"And I'll send it to your parents."

"…I don't care."

"Doesn't your Biology professor, Orochimaru, like boys who dress like strippers while wearing cat ears and a tail?"

Sasuke turned to look at her. "The funny part about this is that you think I don't know what happened or how you got that photo. Because you were the one who kept mixing too much vodka in my drinks, and then you were the one who put your slutty Halloween costume on me while I was passed out and, and then you and Ino moved me into a provocative position on top of the kitchen table."

Sakura smiled challengingly at the raven-haired man. "Yes, but a picture speaks a thousand words, Sasuke-kun. Now you're going to CosquilleArte with me."

Sasuke opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and then shook his head, closing it once more. "I hope your tickle buddy is actually an axe murder. I will hear your screams for help from the next room and smile."

Sakura sighed and started digging through her bag for her digital camera so that she could take pictures of the city from the balcony.

Sasuke was sitting in a white room filled with sleek, black furniture, lit candles and soothing piano music playing in the background, and all he could think about was how he was going to explain to his "massage therapist" exactly what he thought of this establishment. In Spanish.

He didn't care that he was wasting Sakura's money; it was her own fault for paying for this without consulting with him first. He honestly hoped that his idea of her masseur being a murderer was true, but he kind of wanted her to escape…kind of. He couldn't make up his mind on how he wanted her to live, but that didn't matter because his own masseur entered the room and all thoughts of murder and stupid establishments literally began laughing and ran out of his mind while shouting "have fun!"

"Hola," the blond haired man said with such a wide grin that his eyes had to close. The man stopped at the sight of Sasuke and raised his eyebrows. "La ropa no se supone que en…"

Sasuke stared at him blankly, hiding his immediate physical attraction for the male specimen very well. "Your Spanish sucks," he stated after a few seconds of silence.

"Shut up, bastard! I'm still learning!" The man puffed out his cheeks and glared at Sasuke.

"I swear you're saying whatever you got from Google translator." Sasuke smirked.

The man's cheeks flushed, indicating that he had used Google translator. "Look, asshole, just get naked and put on the paper underwear. I'll come back in five minutes."

"That won't be necessary," Sasuke said, hopping off the massage table. "This whole business is a joke. Tickling is not a form of relaxation, it is torture. You can keep the money; I don't want any part of this." He moved towards the exit, but a hand grabbed his left bicep, squeezing harshly, and shoved him back to the table.

"Stay, pretty boy," the man said with a feral grin that made Sasuke shudder. "My name's Naruto and I'll be your cosquille terapeuta for the next hour. Now strip,"

Sasuke swallowed, but didn't give in that easily. "I'm not putting on that stupid underwear."

"Fine," Naruto growled. "Keep your own underwear on. Hurry up, let's go." He twirled his hand, indicating that he was waiting.

Sasuke stared at him incredulously before growling and unbuttoning his black, long sleeved shirt. He threw it at Naruto who had been watching every movement the other man made. Kicking off his leather flip flops while undid his belt, he removed his pants and placed them in Naruto's waiting arms that were already holding his shirt.

"Good, now lay down…" he trailed off, bowing his head and looking at Sasuke in a questioning manner.

"Sasuke," the Uchiha supplied, hopping back onto the table.

"On your belly, Sasuke," Naruto said, placing Sasuke's clothes on a chair near the door. He moved over to a cabinet and pulled out a plastic box.

Sasuke laid there, the right side on his head resting on his arms, watching the shadows on the wall flicker with the light of the candles. "Naruto, huh? You have a Japanese name; you speak fluent English, and your Spanish sucks yet you live in Spain…what's the story there?" He stiffened when a finger tip traced down his spine lightly from the base of his neck and stopping right above the hem of his dark red boxer briefs.

"I was studying to be a masseur, so I traveled a lot in college." Naruto said as he began to drag the back of his knuckles over Sasuke's sides gently. "I've been to Japan, Canada, South America, Russia, Italy, and France." He licked his lips briefly and turned his hands over, draw lines down the quivering muscles of the back. "However, when I came here, to Spain, and met Isabel Aires, she told me about her idea for a tickle spa. I couldn't bring myself to leave. So now I'm here, working in the only tickle spa in the world."

Sasuke let out a brief, breathy laugh when Naruto began using his nails on his shoulder blades. "This is so weird…"

"Why are you here, then?" Naruto asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

Sasuke huffed, feeling his heart beat quicken every time Naruto's fingers neared his rear. "My roommate signed me up for this without my knowing." Naruto moved to his hips and he felt his face heat up at the loud gasp that tore from him.

"Hm, that's a good reaction," Naruto muttered, as he began tracing back up Sasuke's sides. He reached over to the box he had pulled out earlier and picked out a small goose feather, not wasting any time applying it to the spots that Sasuke had showed the biggest reaction to. "Tickling can be relaxing when done right," he stated as Sasuke began shaking, his face now buried in the crook of his arm. "Your skin is already flushed and it's only been ten minutes."

"This…is not relaxing…" Sasuke mumbled. "Tickling is a way to arouse someone, getting their heart pumping and blood flowing throughout their body."

"Maybe I am trying to arouse you." Naruto said, lowering his head to Sasuke's ear. "Are you aroused?"

Sasuke knew he was blushing, but that didn't stop him from turning his head and glaring at the other man. "You know, maybe this would be better if you didn't talk."

Naruto put up his hands defensively, white feather pinched between the index finger and thumb on his right hand. "Okay, okay, no need to get your panties in a twist."

"My panties are not in a twist," Sasuke grumbled.

"Are you sure?"


"Have you checked?"

Sasuke turned back to lay his head on his arms, ignoring the question.

Naruto smiled and returned to moving the feather along Sasuke's back. He shifted so that he glided it over pale arms and then all the way back down, teasing the line above the waistband of Sasuke's boxer briefs. Getting bolder from the shudders and sighs Sasuke was making, he moved to Sasuke's legs, which were, if possible, even paler than the rest of his body. Didn't this guy ever go into the sun? Naruto dragged the feather down the back of Sasuke's legs, the other man stiffening in response, and over soft-looking feet. He repeated this to the other leg, glancing down at the parted area between them.

Sasuke was ready to jump out the small window that was a little ways to his left. Damn it, he was getting hard because this idiot was messing with his sensitive areas. It was rare that anyone found them, but Naruto seemed to have an eye for how he was responding to certain stimulation, and he kept abusing them with the softest touches that literally raked out shuddering breaths from him. It was becoming uncomfortable on his stomach, and he wanted to touch himself so badly…and was it just him or did Naruto seem to be spending a lot of time on his thighs? "Fuck…"

Naruto grinned, finally getting the courage give into his temptations, and he dragged his fingernails up the back of Sasuke's thighs and over his rear.

"Okay!" Sasuke shot up and began to get off the table. "Okay, we're done here."

"Oh, sit down hard on." Naruto said, shoving Sasuke back onto the table by his shoulder. He grimaced and looked at the other man who was glaring at him with murderous intent. "Hard ass…I meant hard ass. Yeah, that doesn't sound much better." Noticing that Sasuke was half way off the table, he pulled him forward a little bit, eyes trailing down at the obvious tent in Sasuke's boxer briefs. "Look, I know this seems unprofessional, but can I at least help you…with…you know…"

"You have got to be kidding me…" Sasuke placed his hands over his beet red face. "These things are only supposed to happen in bad porno movies or something. I came here to be tortured, not…" He peeked between his fingers. Naruto was smiling at him, his eyes glazed over with lust. Well shit, if Sakura was paying, he might as well. "Fuck…"

"Is that a yes?"

"No, dumb ass, I'm just going to turn down a blowjob." Sasuke growled. "You offered, now get to it."

"Ooh, bossy," Naruto grinned. "I like that in a bitch." He began tugging down Sasuke's briefs.

Sasuke glared at him for the comment, but had to admit that he loved it when he was talked down to. He blamed it on his family, and always coming in second against his brother.

Naruto stopped when a little less than half of Sasuke's erection was free and leaned his head down. He kissed and licked underneath of the cock, in the area where the shaft met the head. Blowing cool air over the head, he yanked Sasuke's briefs the rest of the way down to the middle of pale thighs. His tongue laved the underside of the pale member before holding it up right and taking it into his mouth.

Sasuke sighed at the warm heat that engulfed him whole, his toes curling and his hands gripping at the sides of the massage table. He opened his eyes, not quite sure when he had closed them, when Naruto grabbed his wrists and guided his hands to his soft hair. Sasuke eagerly threaded his fingers through thick blond tresses and anchored them there.

Naruto began bobbing his head, sucking hard when he pulled back, and grazing his teeth over sensitive skin when he leaned back down. Sasuke thrust his hips up and Naruto quickly pinned them back down, earning a harsh tug of disapproval at his hair.

He chuckled around the cock in his mouth, gentle vibrations coaxing a guttural moan from the slender man on the table. He sucked a little more gently while he sped up the movements of his head, picking up on a steady rhythm.

Sasuke's hands tangled even more tightly into the bright blonde hair as Naruto built up speed. He was all but drowning in the sensation of Naruto flicking his tongue over him, sucking and pulling on him.

Naruto slowed down to a snail's pace and grazed his teeth along the thick vein running the length of the pulsing member. He began swallowing around the dick, his tongue pressing against the underside while his teeth gently grinded and dragged against the top.

Sasuke made some kind of grunting noise and his hands tightened in Naruto's hair. Naruto deep throated him almost instantly, and his thumbs pressed into Sasuke's pale bony hips harshly.

Sasuke felt his orgasm hurtling towards him and he bit down on his bottom lip, trying to distract himself from the pleasure so that he could last longer. To say that failed would be an understatement. He inhaled sharply and yanked Naruto's head up and off him just as the first stream of cum escaped, and then he squeezed his eyes shut and cried out weakly as the heat in the pit of his stomach exploded. "Ngh!"

His eyes fluttered open when Naruto's hands removed his own from his hair, and he groaned at the sight of the blond man's face. His own seed was sliding down the side of Naruto's nose, down his left cheek and over his plump lips.

He quickly sat up when Naruto reached up to wipe his hand over his face, catching his wrist. "Here, let me…" Sasuke said quietly, pulling Naruto closer to him.

His tongue lapped up his own mess, not exactly thrilled by the taste but he couldn't help but feel sexy as Naruto grabbed his waist and shuddered. When he got to Naruto's mouth, he kissed him deeply, tongues sliding against each other and lips being nipped teasingly.

He trailed a hand down Naruto's chest and reached for his belt, but Naruto stopped him.

"Sorry, Sasuke, but I can't come on the job." Naruto chuckled, moving away. He looked at his watch and cursed when he saw that he went over a few minutes and was going to be late for his next appointment. Sighing, he willed away his erection with thoughts of baby seals being eaten by sharks, but then somehow moved to reciting the formula for pi (3.14 159 2653 5897 9323 8462 64338 327 9502 8841 97169 3993 75105 82097 494459…).

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and looked at the floor, feeling awkward for having been rejected to help Naruto. "So…my times up, right?" he asked, sliding his briefs back on before getting off the table. He quickly got dressed, turning and glaring when Naruto was standing there smiling at him. "What?" he spat, doing up his pants.

Naruto shrugged. "Nothing. Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of bipolar?"

Sasuke glared at him and buttoned his shirt, doing it slowly as if imagining that ever button set in place would some how pain Naruto. He slid on his shoes before stomping over to the door, opening it and flooding the dim room with light from the hallway. He stopped and looked at Naruto who was looking at the ground in interest. "Should I tip you or…?"

Naruto chuckled darkly and shook his head. "Please. Don't insult me like that."

And the door clicked shut.

"There you are!" Sakura said when Sasuke entered the waiting room. "Geez, I was getting worried that they might have thrown you out of here when you didn't come out after the hour."

Sasuke stopped, hands in his pocket, and he tilted his head. "Sakura…I see your tickle buddy wasn't an axe murderer."

Sakura sighed and shook her head. "No, actually. Well, maybe he could have been, but apparently he switched and I got a girl named Karin instead." She pushed open the door and waited for Sasuke to follow her.

"The guy hadn't even met you yet and he switched shifts. You are getting really good at repelling men these days." He winced when Sakura smacked him on the shoulder with her abnormal strength.

"He didn't switch shifts, per se. According to Karin, Naruto wanted to work on someone else." Sakura pulled out a hair claw from her purse and made a messy bun on the back of her head. She stopped when she realized Sasuke was no longer following her down the brick walkway. She looked behind her and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"His name was Naruto?" Sasuke asked, trying to keep his cool.

"Yeah," Sakura giggled. "I had the same reaction when I heard it. Apparently he's not from here." She pulled out a map from her bag and unfolded it. "Since we still have two hours till our dinner reservation, let's go to Retiro Park. Or Parque del Retiro as they call it here, heehee."

Sasuke looked at her incredulously. "You made us dinner reservations without my consent?"

"Yes, I did. If I left it up to you, we wouldn't get to go anywhere cool." Sakura stared at the map, trying to figure out where they were.

Sasuke could only glare at the back of her head. Maybe if he was lucky, Sakura would choke on whatever she ordered for dinner. 'Oh no! Somebody save that woman!' one person would say. Sasuke would sip his wine quietly from across the table and say, 'No, she's fine. She does this all the time back home. It'll be over soon.' And then Sakura would drop dead, her head landing in whatever saucy food she had ordered.

He needed help.

"I can't believe you lost your wallet." Sakura said, exasperated, as she opened their hotel room door and stepped inside. She shrugged off her sweater and unclipped her hair, fluffing it out around her. Sasuke immediately began checking around his bag, hoping that maybe he had left it in there while changing. "I hope you weren't pick-pocketed while we were in the park…" she muttered, unbuckling her sandals and laying them at the foot of her bed.

Sasuke sighed in aggravation and resisted the urge to throw his bag against the wall. How could he have been so careless? He never once left his wallet anywhere before. Anywhere. And what if he had left it in the hotel room? What if one of the maids took it? He was now going to have to glare at every single maid he saw in this hotel. And not just narrow-eyed, passing glances glare. No, full on, stop in their path and glare till they shit bricks.

The hotel room phone rang and Sasuke looked at Sakura who in return sighed and got up from where she was sitting on the bed, rubbing her feet.

"Hello?" Sakura said, and she quickly straightened her back. "Oh, really? That's great! Thank you very much! When can we come get it?"

Sasuke tilted his head when his roommate turned to him and gave him a thumbs-up.

"Oh, you will? Right now? Are you sure? That's wonderful, thank you so much! We're on the seventh floor, room seven-oh-eight. Yes, when you exit the elevator, we're the last room on the left. Yes, thank you. Okay, see you soon." She hung up the phone and grinned. "That was someone from CosquilleArte. They found your wallet in one of the rooms and they're coming over now to return it to you."

Sasuke nodded, trying to remember when he had taken his wallet out of his pocket, but figured that it probably fell out when he was getting dressed. Or undressed, it didn't matter.

He recalled the blowjob Naruto had given him, and he put a hand over his face to cover his blush. Damn it, he was getting aroused from the mere thought of it. "I'm going to take a shower." Sasuke said quickly and went into the bathroom.

Sakura decided to change out of her dress and put on a pair of Madras shorts with a white polo. She went into the cabinet under the TV and frowned when the mini bar was locked and could only be opened with a swipe of a credit card. "Yeah right, like I'm going to buy these tiny bottles." She closed the door and stood up, looking around the room.

She walked over to Sasuke's bed where his suitcase sat and refolded the clothes he had shoved around while searching for his wallet. She closed it and moved it off the bed, setting it next to hers by the balcony door.

Deciding that she really did want something to drink, she walked over to the bathroom door, knocked, and then opened it slightly. "Sasuke," she called.

"What?" The man asked in a slightly breathless voice.

"I'm going to go find somewhere to get some booze. Want anything?"

"…See if they have any tangerine ale."

"Will do. Okay then, I'm leaving so stop masturbating and take a real shower so you can answer the door when the person from CosquilleArte brings your wallet by." She laughed at the string of curses and death threats from Sasuke and closed the door.

Sasuke finished up as quickly as possible before washing up and getting out. "I hope she gets hit by a truck while she's out…" he muttered as he dried off. From the bathroom he could hear knocking on the hotel room door and he cussed, wrapping the towel around his waist. "I'm coming," he called when he stepped out of the restroom.

Opening the door, he froze.

"Hey there," Naruto grinned. "I got your wallet." He held up the leather case and flapped it back and forth. He flinched when the door slammed shut. "Aw, come on Sasuke. Why are you being like that? Really, I should be your favorite person in the world right now!" When he didn't receive and answer to that, he sighed. "You look sexy in a towel," he tried. Still nothing. "Please let me in? Pretty please? With a still beating heart on top."

The door opened and an arm stuck out. "Give me my wallet and leave."

"I don't think so." Naruto slammed his body weight against the door, making Sasuke stumble back and the hotel door hit the rubber stopper on the wall.

"This is illegal." Sasuke snapped, standing up quickly and adjusting the towel around his hips. "Give me my wallet and leave."

"Why are you being such an asshole?" Naruto asked, leaning against the wall and letting the door close behind him.

Sasuke looked at him with mock shock. "Oh, oh god I'm so sorry. It's just, I'm just usually like this to people who force their way into my hotel room without permission." His eyes narrowed when Naruto ignored him, staring at the low hung towel on his hips with a smirk.

He wasn't sure why he was upset with seeing Naruto here. The blowjob had been amazing, possibly one of the best in his life. He should probably be yanking Naruto into the room by his dick and make him give him another one.

But it was the fact that Naruto didn't let Sasuke help him with his own problem, and the fact that Naruto tried to play everything off so cool-like…okay, so maybe he didn't have a legit reason to be upset with the other man, but that wasn't going to stop him. He had his mind set on being mad at this man, and nothing was going to change that, no matter how illogical and bizarre and unjust that seemed.

"I don't know what to think of you, Sasuke." Naruto said, walking past him and settling on Sakura's bed, patting the spot next to him. Sasuke decided to sit on his own bed and Naruto frowned. "You seemed to enjoy yourself today, but when you left you gave me these evil eyes as though I were an exorcist coming to remove you from your host. So what the hell is up?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Can I have my wallet back now?" He caught it when it was tossed to him, and set it on the bedside table.

"Look, I'm going to be up front here. I think you're absolutely gorgeous, and when I happened to see you walk in today with your friend, I asked the girl who was supposed to work on you to switch with me. I wasn't planning on the whole blowjob incident, but I couldn't help thinking that if I could jus touch you, I'd be happy." Naruto looked down, embarrassed, and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "And now that I got to talk to you, I feel even more drawn to you. I want to be around you more. You have this air about you that riles me up inside, like you're a constant challenge I have to surpass. I want more of you."

Sasuke stared at him, slightly flattered that Naruto had wanted to touch him at first, as creepy as that seemed. "Okay…" Sasuke said slowly. "Then…now what?"

Naruto looked up at him, relieved that Sasuke hadn't yelled at him for being weird, or kicked him out of the room. "Um…well, actually, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I met you. Do you know how painful it is to get three erections in four hours and unable to do anything about them?"

The Uchiha looked off to the side, recalling that he had just masturbated in the shower for the same reason. "You wouldn't let me touch you…" he muttered, Naruto having to lean in to hear what he said.

"I told you, I can't come on the job." Naruto stated.

"Why not?" Sasuke growled.

"Because…I probably wouldn't have wanted to stop after that."

Sasuke's head perked up. That didn't sound too bad, but he knew that wouldn't have been good for Naruto's job. "So…" Sasuke began slowly. "What if I touched you now?"

Naruto smirked. "I definitely won't be able to stop."

"Oh really?" Sasuke said, getting up from the bed and crossing over to Naruto. "I don't think I would mind that too much."

"Oh holy fuck," Naruto moaned as he was straddled. He grasped the back of Sasuke's thighs, the towel falling off and onto the floor, and he reached up to grab at the round cheeks he had admired through red briefs earlier that day. He leaned forward and kissed Sasuke's chest, flicking a tongue over already hardened nipples due to the cold temperature of the hotel room.

Sasuke sighed in contentment and ran a hand through soft blond hair while he used the other to grip Naruto's shoulder tightly. "This is my roommate's bed…" he muttered between Naruto switching over to his other nipple.

The man swirled his tongue around the bud before standing up and turning to the bed. He grabbed the top comforter and dragged it off the bed and onto the floor.

"We could have just moved to my bed." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Like I'm doing you on a twin-sized bed," Naruto huffed and pulled on Sasuke's arm, forcing him down onto the cover on the hard floor. "Does this room have any lotion or something?" He asked while he stared down at the naked, pale man lying on the floor before him.

Sasuke scoffed. "I don't know, idiot. I don't scout out a room for lube every time I walk into it."

"Prick," Naruto muttered, pulling off his shirt and checking the nightstand between the two beds. He smirked at the tube of body lotion that was sitting next to the alarm clock, and he returned to Sasuke.

"Take your pants off," Sasuke ordered, glaring at the offending blue jeans. Naruto immediately dropped the tube of lotion and began undoing his belt as he kicked off his shoes. "And get the condom out of my wallet." He added quickly, earning a suspicious glance from the older man.

Naruto waddled over to the nightstand, pants falling down his thighs, and retrieved the condom from the leather case. He wiggled out of his pants the rest of the way and punted them off to the side.

He knelt down at Sasuke's feet and looked around for the lotion he had dropped. Sasuke handed it to him and he grinned. "Eager?" he teased, unscrewing the cap and squirting some of the white cream onto his fingers.

Sasuke huffed and looked off to the side, preparing his body for what was to come. "If you hurt me too much, I'm going to kick your ass."

Naruto looked at him skeptically. "Sasuke, you do know this is going to hurt a little, right?" He received a steely glare and he sighed, rolling his eyes. He leaned over Sasuke's body, supporting himself by his elbows so he didn't accidently smear the lotion on his right hand anywhere else.

He placed a gentle kiss on Sasuke's lips, catching the Uchiha off guard. They had only kissed once before, and that had been fervent and hot. This was gentle, no tongue, just pure emotion poured into the simple act of lips meeting.

"I need you to trust me," Naruto whispered, his breath tickling Sasuke's chin. "I can't promise you that this won't be completely painless, but I'm going to do everything in my power to make you as comfortable as possible."

Blue eyes widened when a hand pushed his head away roughly. "Stop with the cheesy act," Sasuke growled, turning his head to the side to hide his embarrassment. "I trust you, but just know that however much pain I feel, you will feel the same tenfold."

Naruto gulped at the dead serious tone, wondering how someone could sound so sinister and menacing when their face was bright red. "In that case, I'm starting," he announced.

Sakura switched the bag in her right hand over to her left, and she reached into her pocket to pull out her card key. She wiped the metal strip side of it on her shorts out of habit before inserting it into the slot on the door. The light turned green and she opened the door quickly. "Sasuke, I found-"


"Shit, stop screaming in my ear, Sasuke!"

"Fuck! Move faster, damn it!"

"God, you're so demanding…"

"Yes! Right there!"

Sakura stared at the tan man thrusting into her roommate before she realized that she had accidently let go of the door and it slammed shut behind her. Her whole being began to burn under the glare Sasuke sent her way. It was shocking how dark and scary Sasuke could seem when he was bent in half on the floor with a dick inside him.

Speaking of the dick inside him, the blond man leaning over Sasuke looked over his shoulder and grinned brightly at her.

"Hi there!" he said cheerfully. "I'm Naruto, Sasuke's cosquille terapeuta." He winced when he was smacked sharply on the left bicep.

Sakura filed through her mental Spanish to English translator and felt her face heat up at Naruto's words.

"Sakura, get the fuck out." Sasuke deadpanned.

"It was nice meeting you!" Naruto sang.

Sakura left the room in silence, deciding to drink all the booze she bought by the side of the hotel pool and live out her remaining hours on Earth happily. After all, Sasuke wasn't going to let her live after witnessing that. As she waited for the elevator, something occurred to her and her eyes widened.

So that was Naruto.

The End.

I'm so lazy! Everyone must be thinking "uhh...where the fuck is the lemon?" And I'll tell you! It's not there. I started it, and then I realized I was taking too long, and I was told to just cut it and give it a funny ending. And that's where the smut is. In smut heaven. Sorry, you guys just have to deal with a blowjob...

Hope you liked it, Kimchi. I'm sorry it took so long! Tumblr is distracting!