Shinra Inc. And Hackers

By: Jason Tandro

Author's Note:

Yet another great suggestion from a loyal fan, this story comes from Hidden By Shadow. Their suggestion for the title was Shinra Inc. And Bad Security Practice, but I chose for the more concise and general title (I hope you don't mind too much ).

Given that September is my official Fan Appreciation Month, I urge anybody who loves the Shinra Inc. And webseries to visit the official website, which can be seen on my profile.

There is a Fan Page which includes a comments section, featured stories from some of my fans, and exclusive website content include one-shot stories that can't be seen on !

By the way, I've been getting tons of these requests, much more than I anticipated when I put the feature up. So rather than do a massive email, allow me to announce the order in which your story will likely appear:

-Shinra Inc. And Amusements

This was actually one of the first ones, but I wanted to save it for the second to last episode of this season because of my season finale idea, which is original, so this will be next).

-Shinra Inc. And Communism

After the Season 3 Finale this episode will actually be the Season 4 introduction. (Found out what I was gonna do with it, man.)

-Shinra Inc. And Cissnei

This will appear… somewhere in Season 4. I didn't play that much of Crisis Core (sadly) so I'll need to brush up on her character.

-Shinra Inc. And Part Time Jobs.

I LOVE this concept and I think it has potential to be hilarious, but I will need to tweak it slightly to include a broader range of ideas. It will also be appearing in Season 4, but likely much sooner than Cissnei.

Okay, I'm sorry, I sucked up a lot of your time with this shameless plugging and taking care of business. Onto the stories!

==End Rant==

Tseng and Rude were sitting in a corner of the break room on the 64th floor. They had just completed their afternoon workout, which was something they tried to do at least four times a week. Given their job it was important to stay in top physical shape.

Reno sat with them too, but he hadn't bothered actually doing the workout. He put all the machines on the lowest difficulty setting and just faked his way through it. Workouts were all but mandatory and when Tseng had questioned him on his method he had flatly responded "I'm going for tone, not for bulk."

Just as Tseng had been trying to advise him that he wouldn't get any tone using the calf press machine at zero weight, the bell had sounded, alerting them that their allotted time with the equipment was over.

"It's not all about burly muscles you guys. This job is more about stealth and secrecy," Reno explained.

"But what about if you need to get into a fight?" Tseng asked.

"We have guns," Reno nodded.

Elena walked in wearing a spandex workout suit which fitted her form perfectly. "Hey guys. Good workout?"

"Getting better," Reno smirked.

Tseng smacked him in the back of the head as he stood up. "Pretty good."

They shared a small kiss and Tseng handed her a bottle of water. Reno kept his gaze on the floor, trying not to notice the fact that, in all practicality, his very attractive co-worker was wearing as little clothing as a pair of underwear.

"I didn't see you working the weights. I'm guessing you specialize in aerobics?" Rude asked.

"Yep. And Yoga and martial arts. I'm studying Wutai Go right now. It's the same martial arts techniques that the Wutai military trains their men with," Elena smiled, going into a fighting pose.

"You mean the army that Shinra flattened battle after battle before they surrendered and we turned their country into a tourist trap?" Reno asked. "Sounds useful."

"And what form of workout regimen have you been using?" Tseng asked. "Lazy Fu? Fat Ass Kwan?"

"Do Nothing Bo?" Rude added.

"Fuck you guys," Reno said, flashing a rude hand gesture. "I like to call my workout regimen P90Sex. If I don't sleep with 90 pretty girls in a month I'm not doing my job right."

"How's that going so far, by the way?" Elena asked. "I mean, you know since the sexual harassment suit and the shock collar that the government put on your-"

"Shut up!" Reno cursed.

[Author's Note: See Shinra Inc. And Sex]

All of a sudden, every light in the building went off and the emergency lighting came on. Rufus's voice echoed over the loudspeaker.

"We have a crisis situation! I am locking down the entire building except floors 64 through 70. Turks, meet me at the conference room on the double!"

Without hesitation, the Turks rushed out the door. They ran to their lockers, grabbed their weapons and then bolted up the stairs, Reno in the lead, having a fresh set of legs from not doing any workout.

When they reached the 66th floor, they lined up against the door in a two-by-two breach and clear formation. Rude behind Reno, Elena behind Tseng. Tseng moved in, bashed through the door and in a flash all four Turks were through their guns drawn at an enemy that wasn't there.

It was just Rufus, sitting at his usual spot at the edge of the table, his laptop computer with him.

"Damn you guys sure make an entrance," Rufus said.

Tseng sighed and holstered his weapon. "Sir… what in the world? Lockdown is only meant to be used in a terrorist situation. We thought you were in danger. We thought maybe, AVALANCHE."

"There IS a terrorist situation. It's just not in the building," Rufus explained, resuming his panicky air.

"What is it sir?" Elena asked, moving slowly towards him.

Rufus turned his head up at her and then he stared.

"Sir?" Elena asked.

"Where have you been hiding those under your uniform?" Rufus asked, pointing at her chest.

Elena blushed, folded her arms in front of her and turned away. "What the hell is wrong with you people? Have you never seen a girl before?"

"You were saying?" Tseng asked, patting Elena's shoulder and giving Rufus an ugly look.

"Look at the Shinra Inc website guys," Rufus said, turning his computer around.

The website was completely taken down. There was a single message on the screen:

Another website successfully taken down by the internet super-conscience. We are JENOVA.

"JENOVA?" Tseng asked. "That freak project of Professor Hojo?"

"It was actually Professor Gast who found JENOVA," said Hojo walking into the room. "Oh Mr. President, could I have a word. What the hell is this?"

He held up his laptop, where the webpage was also showing the ominous message.

"We've been hacked," Rufus explained.

"Well no shit, Sherlock," Hojo cursed. "If that was the only information which I felt the need to garner I would have obtained it from the courteous message that they left on the computer screen for me. You realize I can't do ANY of my work without access to the online database."

"Don't you keep private non-digitized records?" Rude asked.

"Rufus?" Hojo lead, pointing towards him.

"I, kinda made Hojo get rid of everything personal and put it online so we could monitor his activities," Rufus nodded.

"Not a bad idea, just poor timing," Reno shrugged.

"Sir!" Heidegger came bouncing in, with Palmer and Reeve at his heels. "I've obtained information about who is behind this terrible attack."

"You have?" Rufus asked. "Who?"

Heidegger opened a large manila folder and cleared his throat. "It is a group of cyber-terrorists known as JENOVA."

Rufus waited for Heidegger to continue, but he shut the folder and sat down.

"That's it?" Rufus asked.

"Yes sir," Heidegger said, proudly as though this had taken real effort.

"What the fuck do I pay you for?" Rufus shouted. "Their name is on the goddamn webpage!"

"Now you know how it feels," Hojo sighed.

"Sir, I've actually heard of this organization from other encounters. If I may?" Reeve asked, a tad more formal than he usually would be.

"Go ahead," Rufus nodded.

"They're not so much an organized group of people as just a mass of scattered individuals only occasionally unified by purpose or theory. They're actually fascinating in a way, since the actions of one may or may not represent the actions of the whole. They are completely, in every way, unmeasurable and untraceable," Reeve said.

"You sound almost happy Reeve," Rufus shrugged.

"What? No, I'm interested in the mechanic, I still think they're a bunch of pussies with nothing better to do than bully people under the mask of anonymity," Reeve replied.

"That's an odd view, coming from you," Scarlet asked, walking into the room. "You normally see the good in everything."

"It's the anonymity that bothers me. Fighting against something that bothers you publicly is courageous. It takes courage to act in a rebellious manner and put your life and livelihood on the line. Behind the mask of anonymity, there are no consequences, so it's nothing short of cowardice," Reeve explained.

"I think it's okay what they do, I mean they're fighting for freedom of speech and all that," Palmer said.

"Shut up Palmer, nobody likes you," Rufus hissed. "Continue."

"Well Palmer, if they really support freedom of speech, why do they attack everybody who is critical of their actions? Why do they pester people who stand up against them? In the beginning their actions may have been noble but as it is with all vigilante action, they have become the threat to freedom that they claim to fight against."

"Aren't you worried that they might come after you for saying all of this?" Rufus asked.

"Come after me? Oh like anybody gives a damn what I

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[Edit: I'm surprised that nobody seemed to get the ending joke. The joke is that the story was "hacked". The teletype image is the teletype "facepalm" which may not show up well depending upon how you are viewing it, the facepalm being one of the many memes of Anonymous (well really 4chan) ]