Chapter 21

October 31st, 1964

Halloween fell on a Sunday this year, so the residents of Brokeback Ranch took advantage of the lazy day. Rose was busy making pumpkin pie in the kitchen for themselves and the neighbours and Becky was helping her. They could talk as freely as they wanted to, because Ennis and Jack were both outside. They'd gone out under the pretence of seeing to the horses and cattle, but the women weren't fooled.

They had both noticed Jack come back in on his own on his birthday night when he should have been on the hill with Ennis, but he'd just shook his head at them and gone up to bed. Neither of them knew what to say to him.

"Sure hope they can work things out," said Rose, looking out of the window absent-mindedly.

"Yeah, me too. I hate to see them like this."

"Well, we can't exactly get after Ennis for not sayin' anythin'," said Rose, looking awkward. "We've been keepin' it quiet too."

"We had our reasons. This is our family too an'...the things John did...I don't like thinkin' on it."

"I know. But still...must be awful hard on 'em both. Ennis not havin' the strength to tell Jack what's wrong, Jack feelin' down all the time 'cos he thinks Ennis is shyin' away from him. You remember his birthday."

"Yeah. You think...you think we should just tell Jack? Put him out of his misery?" Becky asked, looking at her mother.

Rose thought for a moment, considering. It might be the better option for Jack; at least then he would know everything and they could talk about it. But what about Ennis? Jack would put two and two together and realise that Ennis had known for all this time, and Rose thought that Jack would be angrier if he found out from somewhere else, rather than Ennis telling him himself.

She shook her head. "No. I don't like keepin' it from him any more than you do, but...I think it'll be better for the two of them if Ennis tells Jack himself."

Becky stared at her. "You really think so?"

Rose slowly nodded, and then smiled at Becky.

"What?"

Rose put her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Not just for this, but for everythin' you're goin' through. You're a woman now, Becky, an' I sure am sad that I didn't get to see you grow up."

Becky smiled back. "Well, I can offer you a granddaughter. You can watch her grow up, if ya want. Might make up fer it."

"Yeah. I'd like that."

Out in the barn, Jack was silent as he and Ennis mucked out the stalls. It was weird; neither of them wanted to be away from each other, but they weren't speaking either. Star was doing well at five months gone and all of the other stock was okay, including the calves. A few people had called to find out if the meat was ready yet and having been told that it was, they were eager to come and collect, and Ennis and Jack were looking forward to a potential increase in income.

In just under a month, K.E., Cecilia and their families would be coming down from Wyoming for Thanksgiving, and they would be joined by Adam and Pete from Ohio. The kitchen wouldn't hold them all, so they had discussed setting out a longer table outside on the grass near the back porch; the local climate certainly allowed for it. Jack was looking forward to him and Ennis having all their living relatives (the ones they cared about, anyway) in one place. K.E. and Cecilia were eager to meet Becky and she them.

But if Jack was honest with himself, he could see the problems from here. Could they really play host to nine people, including three kids, in their current state? Could they really get through a big family dinner, one for giving thanks no less, with so much tension in the air? Jack prayed that this got sorted soon; he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

That night, the four of them settled in front of the TV, as there was a scary movie marathon going on, including The Mummy again, like last year. The doorbell kept on ringing with trick-or-treaters and Becky was the one to attend to them, wanting to be around kids right now. She tried not to eat all of the chocolate by herself but it was pretty hard with her cravings.

Ennis tentatively put an arm around Jack's shoulders, a move not missed by Rose or Becky. After a second's hesitation, Jack moved into the embrace and felt a pair of lips in his hair for a second. Whatever his feelings about Ennis's behaviour and how irritated he was becoming, he could never resist when it came to intimacy. Ennis was his other half and there was no changing that, not now.

When they all went to bed that night, Ennis went into the shower while Jack got ready for bed. He was rummaging around in the drawers when he came across his old red bandana. He had two good memories of this. The first was back on Brokeback when Ennis had come back to camp after his run-in with a bear and Jack had tried to clean him up. He had been rebuffed but he'd still felt their fingers touch and Jack had felt a tingling all over when that had happened. Their first handshake back in Signal barely counted as contact, looking back. That night by the fire had been the start of it.

His second memory was some time ago. Last September, as they had been heading south towards Colorado, Ennis had remembered the bandana in a dark motel room and when Jack had retrieved it, Ennis had thrown it over the lampshade, casting that red, romantic glow across them both. It had been a wonderful night.

Jack sighed, wishing that he could go back to how things used to be between him and Ennis. Given a second chance, he wouldn't have gone up to Lightning Flat upon his father's death. That had been the start of all this, and Jack just wanted to see it end.

Around a week later, the residents of Brokeback Ranch were busy as usual. A great quantity of meat had finally been collected and bought by those who had ordered some, including the owner of their favourite diner in Sandersville. The general opinion was that the meat was of very good quality and people were very impressed by the owners of the ranch. Business-wise, things were getting better by the day. And neither Pete nor Fred had caused them any trouble. This made them uneasy; it felt as if they might be being led into a false sense of security.

Ennis and Jack threw themselves into the work as it increased, eager to take their minds off their own troubles. They had reached an unspoken agreement to get Thanksgiving out of the way before turning their attention to other matters. Jack hated not knowing what was going on in Ennis's head and he hated what it was doing to their relationship. Twice they had snapped at each other over the last week, over the smallest things. This usually led to one of them stalking off to the house and the other heading for the hill, alone. They both knew that if they didn't take the time to cool off, they might say or do something that they would regret.

Becky was in the kitchen looking for something to munch on and Rose was in the living room knitting. As Becky leaned over to search the lower cupboards, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach.

She gasped and straightened up, breathing heavily and holding on to the worktop for support. It was way too early for labour; she still had nearly two months left to go. She hissed as the feeling faded away and looked down at her swollen stomach, wondering what the hell had happened. Maybe she'd pulled a muscle while bending down.

Without warning, it happened again. She'd read all the pregnancy books she could get her hands on and she could see the warning signs; she appeared to be having contractions.

Oh no, she thought desperately. It's too early. I can't lose her, I can't...

"Rose!" she cried out, grimacing. Rose heard the tone of voice and came into the kitchen.

"Becky?" she asked in alarm. "What is it?"

"I think...I think I'm goin' into labour," she replied, gritting her teeth and looking helplessly at her mother.

"Oh my God...alright, sit yourself down, I'll get the boys." Rose helped Becky into a chair where she started the breathing exercises Rick had told her about.

Rose went to the office and knocked. "Jack?"

"Yep."

She looked in, relieved to find Ennis there too. Maybe they were talking things over, or maybe it was wishful thinking on her part. "It's Becky. She's...she thinks she's goin' into labour."

They both jumped up immediately. "What? It's way too early fer that," Jack said, his eyes wide. It was never good when a person or animal went into labour early.

"We gotta get her to the hospital," Ennis replied. Rose nodded and the three of them went back to the house, Ennis quickly explaining the situation to Dave.

Jack went straight to Becky and helped her up, Ennis joining him. They got Becky out of the house and into Ennis's truck; the one that would jostle her least.

Within half an hour, in which time Becky had nearly crushed Jack's fingers with the pain, they arrived at the hospital. Dave had called ahead for them and Rick was waiting with a nurse, looking concerned. He helped Becky into a room, tailed by Rose. Ennis and Jack sat down to wait.

"Think she'll be okay?" asked Jack, looking distressed. Ennis wished he could put an arm around him, but he couldn't here. And he wasn't sure how Jack might respond to such a gesture right now.

To their surprise, Rick came out of the room five minutes later, followed by the nurse, Becky and Rose. Becky looked a lot better than she had done, although she looked a little pissed off.

"What's goin' on?" Jack enquired, looking confused.

Rick smiled. "She's not in labour. It was Braxton Hicks contractions, very common at this stage."

Becky sighed and folded her arms. "Kinda like a labour scare, or phantom labour or whatever. Show all the signs of labour but there's nothin' actually goin' on."

"Oh..." They both breathed a sigh of relief that there was no danger.

"She gonna be alright?" asked Ennis.

"She'll be fine, an' so will the baby. Nothin' to be scared about, but you did the right thing by bringin' her in," he said encouragingly.

"Okay. Thanks, Rick."

"Yeah, thanks," said Becky, shaking Rick's hand. He bid them farewell and walked off.

They all turned to each other. "Back home, then?" said Becky.

Jack nodded. "I guess. Back to work."

"Um..." Becky started.

They all turned to look at her. "What?"

"Well...what about...tonight we all...go get some dinner? The four of us? That'll be good. It's a Friday, we don't gotta get up early the next mornin'."

Jack looked at Ennis, unsure about spending a night out with him, and then nodded. "Sounds good." Ennis and Rose added their agreement.

Unbeknownst to them, they had been overheard by someone in the waiting room - Pete. He'd seen everything and he hated how strong they all were, despite his best efforts to ruin their lives. He had a plan now and was determined to carry it out. He now had the perfect opportunity and he would be sure not to waste it. He'd thought about hiring someone to do it, but he would get greater satisfaction if he did it himself.

Filthy queers, he thought to himself. The old man was right; they deserve to be bumped off. An' I'm the one's gonna do it. He nodded to himself. He thought about who he should get first.

It had to be Twist, with those annoying blue eyes and wide smile. Fuckin' prettyboy, he's gotta go first. He smiled to himself, content that this time tomorrow, there would be one less queer in the world.

That evening, the four of them did indeed go out for dinner at their favourite diner in Sandersville. They were all glad to get out of the house for a while, especially Jack.

He had been quite shaken up by Becky's ordeal earlier in the day, but he kept thinking back to what had been going on when his mother had come to get them.

He and Ennis had been talking about the ranch and how well things were going; how things were improving all the time. It had been nice, he had to admit, to have a little check-in with his partner and survey what they had together. Jack just hoped that what they had together wasn't in jeopardy. They had been holding hands across the desk, at least. That gave Jack hope.

Besides, he had been impressed and grateful that Ennis had taken control of things earlier in the day, helping them get Becky to the hospital and making sure she was alright. Whatever might be going on in Ennis's head, Jack couldn't deny that he was a good man, loyal and true to those he loved.

On the whole, they were having a good night out. The owner came up to them and praised them for their meat, which was proving to be very popular with his customers. He told them that several people had approached him, inquiring about the change, and he'd told them where it had come from. Throughout the evening, people came up to them, praising them and saying that they would be calling to order meat soon.

Rose was very proud of her two boys and how well they were doing. She was pleased to see Jack finding his place in the world, making something of himself with someone he loved. His father had squashed him down so much that Rose had feared he would never recover; would never go for any of his dreams or ambitions. Thankfully, his whirlwind romance with Ennis, which had turned into so much more, had unlocked his heart and made him believe in himself again. She was so grateful to Ennis for that, and sincerely hoped that they would be able to fix things. She didn't like to think what might happen if things were to go beyond repair. Jack would never recover from that, she was sure.

"So," said Jack halfway through the meal. "Looks like things are goin' well, huh?"

Ennis swallowed and nodded. "Yep. We're...doin' real well." Jack half-smiled at him and returned to his food. He was having difficulty keeping a smile on his face these days.

They left the diner and slowly wandered back to the truck, parked down the street. Becky had finished off what the others hadn't been able to and was thankfully back to normal after the shock of the day.

"You guys thought any more 'bout chickens?" asked Becky as she walked beside Rose. She remembered them mentioning that they had thought about breeding chickens, selling the eggs and the poultry. That would bring them in some more profit, for sure.

Jack looked at Ennis uneasily. He wasn't sure if they were ready for something like this, but for reasons far removed from the ranch and the financials. He wasn't sure if he and Ennis were emotionally ready for it. They would definitely need to sort themselves out first if they were going to do something like that.

"Um...dunno really," he said. "Can't bite off more than we can chew, ya know?" Ennis nodded silently.

"I guess," she replied. They were almost at the truck, and as they passed an alleyway, a dark figure emerged.

"Well, if it ain't the queers," sneered Pete Dawson. To Jack's eyes, he looked to be hiding something behind his back, and alarm bells started going off in his head. He and Ennis moved in front of Rose and Becky, and they both stepped back.

"Look," started Jack, holding up his hands. "We don't want no trouble. We just wanna get on home."

"You ain't goin' home," Pete hissed. There was a glint in his eyes that frightened Jack. He hoped that things weren't about to get ugly.

"What the hell you talkin' about?" asked Ennis, hands curled into fists.

What happened next made Rose and Becky gasp. Jack's eyes widened and Ennis felt his blood run cold. Pete pulled out a crowbar from behind his back. Ennis's protective nature reared up again, determined to defend the others. If Jack got hurt, with things the way they were, he would never forgive himself.

"Put that away, Pete," said Jack in a warning voice.

"Don't tell me what to do, you filthy queer," said Pete in a snarl. Without warning, he pushed Ennis backwards, too fast for him to react, and while Ennis was preoccupied, Pete attacked Jack with the crowbar. He raised it up to strike Jack, but he saw it coming and tried to dodge. The crowbar connected with his hip, hard. Jack felt the pain shoot through his body and clutched his side, falling to his knees. Rose and Becky were too afraid to help and couldn't move.

When Ennis saw the crowbar hit Jack, he had a flashback of his nightmare, the one of Jack being attacked in a field. Panic rose through him and with a growl, he grabbed Pete, yanked the crowbar away from him and punched him down to the ground.

James was soon there, arresting Pete and hauling him off to the cruiser. Becky ran into the nearest building to call the hospital while Rose watched as Ennis picked Jack up off the floor, one arm around his shoulders.

"Darlin', darlin," he was whispering, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He clutched Jack tightly and cupped his cheek.

"I'll be alright, Ennis," murmured Jack, gritting his teeth as he held onto Ennis. When Becky came out, the four of them made it to the truck, heading for the hospital. Becky drove while Rose sat with her, and Ennis got Jack settled in the back, not letting go.

"Love you, Jack. Yer gonna be okay, ya hear me?"

Jack didn't respond, just rested his head on Ennis's shoulder as a fresh wave of pain washed over him.

They reached the hospital in record time; Rose had half a mind to chastise Becky for her reckless driving but was too distracted by her son's current state and knew that Becky was scared for him. It was a natural familial reaction and Rose couldn't blame Becky for wanting to get Jack help as soon as possible.

Ennis seemed to have attached himself to Jack, holding him close and rubbing his arm, eyes full of fear. Becky hoped that this had knocked some sense into him at last; his deep-rooted fear of losing Jack.

Becky and Rose got out of the truck when they parked and Ennis managed to pull Jack out gently, one arm around him firmly. His protective streak had gone into overdrive and there was no way he would let Jack out of his sight now. He helped Jack through the front doors, where they were greeted by Rick once more.

"Ennis, Jack," he said in relief, glad that Jack was at least conscious. "Becky told me what happened. Come on through."

Rick led them down the hall to an examination room, Rose and Becky following and looking distressed. As they walked down the hall, Ennis explained to Rick what had happened and that Pete had been arrested. Hopefully now, James had enough to go on to be able to put Pete away for a long time. Ennis knew in his heart that it had been a crowbar, but it had looked too much like a tire iron for his liking. He could never shake off the image of Jack's bloody face; the one that haunted his dreams.

Rick led them into the room and Ennis helped Jack onto the examination table. Jack sat himself up and winced at the pain, but he was glad that he had Ennis by his side. Rose and Becky waited in the corner, looking apprehensive.

Rick went to work, taking x-rays of Jack's side where he'd been hit, instructing him to keep still. Ennis had a hand curled into a fist and pressed against his mouth, praying that Jack would be alright and mentally kicking himself for the way he'd treated him over the last few weeks.

When he was done, Rick left the room to collect the x-rays, and Ennis curled an arm around Jack.

"You okay, rodeo?" he asked in a concerned voice.

Jack smiled wearily. "I'll be fine, Rick knows what he's doin'."

Ennis looked down into the deep blue eyes he loved so much, and without so much as a second thought, he leaned down and gave Jack a gentle kiss on the lips, touching his cheek. Jack was surprised but didn't move. The kiss was the kind of kiss Jack loved the most, passionate but tender, and he brought his hand around Ennis's neck. Becky and Rose smiled at each other, thinking that things were finally about to get better.

Rick returned soon after, by which time Ennis and Jack had moved apart, smiling at each other. Jack's eyes were sparkling up at his lover, who looked shyly at him, a grin hitching up at the side of his mouth.

"Well, Jack, I can tell ya what's happened." Rick looked happier than they'd expected.

"Yeah?" Jack asked apprehensively.

Rick smiled. "You got a bruised hipbone, nothin' worse than that." Ennis closed his eyes, letting out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.

Becky breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God." She didn't know what they would do if the damage had been any worse.

Jack sighed. "What can ya do about it?"

Rick consulted his notes. "As a matter of fact, there's not much for me to do. I'm gonna go to the nurses' station to get you an ice pack to hold against it. And there's stuff you can do to help it get better. Physical therapy." He gave a small smile and left the room again.

Ennis rubbed Jack's shoulder. "Least that's all it is. Coulda been much worse, darlin'."

"Yeah. I'll be fine." Jack hooked a thumb through one of Ennis's belt loops. He'd sorely missed these moments between him and Ennis and was glad that things were improving. If it took a minor injury for things to get back on track, he could live with that.

Rick brought him back an ice pack, wrapped in a paper towel. "Keep that pressed to the area, but keep it wrapped or you'll get ice burn."

Jack lifted up his shirt and pressed the pack to his hip, letting out a hiss of relief as the ice calmed the skin. Ennis smiled and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Here." Rick handed Jack a list of all the things he could do; physical exercises to help him heal, and also a list of things he was and wasn't allowed to do. The list said no sexual intercourse for at least a week and Jack wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He looked up. "Thanks, Rick," he said, smiling.

The doctor nodded. "No problem, Jack. Glad you're gonna be okay. Take care of him, Ennis."

Ennis nodded, determined to help Jack and start doing right by him. He sure would help Jack with the physical exercises and anything else that might be needed. "Will do. We okay to go?"

"Yep, you just gotta fill out some forms an' then you can go." Ennis helped Jack off the table and put an arm around him again, helping him hobble out of the room and back towards the nurses' station. At this moment, he didn't care what anybody thought; Jack was his priority. Jack filled out the forms and they left, all four of them feeling relieved that things were going to be okay. Jack wasn't quite sure if Ennis was yet ready to tell him what was on his mind, but he felt sure that things were going to improve in their relationship now; that they were going to be back to normal soon. It was all he could hope for.

They finally got Jack home to the safety of the ranch, and Ennis was overwhelmed with relief that he was going to be okay. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost Jack. All of this...it would mean nothing without Jack.

He helped Jack up the front steps, one arm around his waist. Becky and Rose followed, both pleased that Ennis seemed to be returning back to the Ennis they knew. Ennis got Jack onto the sofa with some pillows and his ice pack while the women went into the kitchen to prepare some drinks before they went up to bed. He sank to his knees near Jack's head, looking at the man he loved so much.

He tentatively took Jack's hand, stroking a thumb across it. Jack raised a hand and brought it to Ennis's cheek. Ennis met his eyes unsurely. It reminded Jack of their second night in the tent together, back on Brokeback. Ennis looked like how he had then, unsure of himself. Jack sighed softly, stroking Ennis's cheek.

"Missed you, cowboy," he murmured.

Ennis swallowed nervously. "Yeah. Kinda slapped some sense into me just now. You coulda been hurt much worse, darlin'. What if...?"

Jack put his hand over Ennis's mouth. "Shhh, don't think on it. It's alright. I'm gonna be okay."

Ennis nodded and extracted the list of physical exercises Jack could do to help his hip. He looked over the items. "I'm gonna help you with these, Jack. If you want. Owe ya that much."

Jack smiled. "Okay." He brought Ennis's face up for a kiss, sweet and soft, tongues just touching. When they pulled back, Ennis saw Jack's eyes alight in a way that he hadn't seen for a long time.

"Jack...you gotta know, I been kickin' myself for how I'm treatin' you. I...I still ain't quite sure if I'm ready to tell ya what's on my mind, but...I'm gonna start treatin' ya better, I swear. I'm sorry, Jack." His eyes were full of sorrow and regret.

Jack twined his fingers in Ennis's curls. "Guess I can't ask fer more than that right now." Then he smiled. "Love ya, Ennis."

"Same here, bud," Ennis choked out. He gradually got himself under control, just in time for Rose and Becky to come back out, carrying warm milk for them all. The four of them sat around the living room, Ennis at Jack's side on the floor, unwilling to move away from him. Becky and Rose exchanged a look and a small smile.

They soon went up to bed, all of them yawning. Ennis didn't want Jack tackling the stairs on his own, so he decided he would have to help.

"Come on, rodeo," he said, snaking his arms underneath Jack's body where it lay on the sofa and gently lifting him up.

"You don't have to..." Jack said, not wanting Ennis to cause any damage to himself. "I can sleep on here."

"No way," Ennis said firmly. "I want ya by my side, ya know? Where ya belong." He smiled at Jack, who couldn't help but smile back.

"Alright, cowboy," he said with a sigh as he lifted his arms up around Ennis's neck and held on tightly. Ennis lifted him up and steadily carried him towards the stairs, taking them slowly. He got Jack on their bed and undressed while Jack attended to himself. Ennis helped him get the covers out from underneath himself and up around him, before sliding in himself, sighing as he lay on the soft mattress.

"You okay, darlin'?" he asked, looking at Jack. His partner looked back at him and smiled.

"Yep." He indicated with his head for Ennis to shuffle over to him, and Ennis did so, wrapping one arm around him and lying on his side. Jack covered the arm with his own and as he fell asleep, he felt confident that things between him and Ennis were looking better.

In the middle of the night, he was awoken by Ennis stirring next to him. His cowboy was being plagued by a nightmare, he could tell.

Ennis was dreaming of what might have happened today. Not being able to stop Pete, the blood that spurted from Jack's body, Rick telling him that they couldn't save him, a funeral, his heart being torn open by the loss of his other half, a life of regretting the fact that things between them had been left so bitter and angry. Having to sell the ranch because he couldn't go on without Jack, living in some dirty old trailer with nothing to live for anymore. Being plagued by torturous dreams of Jack and aching to have him back. Not knowing if Jack ever forgave him for how things had ended up. Dying in his sleep, peaceful, hoping that when he next opened his eyes, he would see Jack; waiting for him.

Ennis jolted awake at this to see Jack, indeed staring at him in the darkness with wide eyes.

"Ennis?"

Ennis shook his head. "I ain't never gonna let nothin' happen to ya, Jack."

Jack sighed. "It's alright," he murmured, stroking Ennis's curls. "It's alright."

"Jack," Ennis choked out. "Pete...he got ya with a crowbar. I know that. But...it looked like a-"

Jack's eyes widened, and he understood. He shuffled close to Ennis and put his arms around him, drawing him close. "It's okay, baby," he said in a whisper. "Don't worry, it's okay." Ennis clutched him tightly, hoping he was right.

"I can't lose ya, Jack," he choked into Jack's hair, trembling. Jack ran a hand up and down his back, soothing him.

"You ain't gonna," he whispered. "I promise." He continued to stroke Ennis's hair and he rocked him slightly in his arms, relieved when Ennis finally dropped off. This position was causing him slight discomfort, but he was far from caring right now. Jack didn't much care about anything that was going on right now. As long as he and Ennis were okay and they were still together, nothing else mattered to him.