Chapter 22

Over the next few days, Ennis was true to his word. He took care of Jack as much as he could and Jack was glad for the change in Ennis; he was becoming the man he used to be. Becky seemed to be friendlier towards him too, and Jack felt relieved that their family seemed to be getting back to normal.

He and Ennis still couldn't have sex yet, not fully, but Ennis had made up for it, going down on him, giving him the occasional handjob; everything they could do that wouldn't affect Jack's hip. Jack's smiles started meeting his eyes again, and the change was noticeable. He had to spend his time on the sofa during the day and while that frustrated him, his mother was always there, since Becky haven taken over in the office, and Ennis came in several times a day to see him.

Ennis still felt guilty about not telling Jack the truth about his family, but he'd made himself a deal. He would wait until after Thanksgiving was over and done with; they would have a lot to do and there would be enough stress as it was. Pete's attack on Jack had scared him into reassessing his treatment of Jack and he had been scared of losing Jack. He didn't have to treat Jack the way he had been; it had hurt both of them and Ennis had hated himself for it. At least now things were getting better between them.

Ennis also helped Jack with his physical exercises, which seemed straightforward enough. The ones that Jack could do right now all involved lying down, so the pair of them spent their free time in the living room. Jack would lie on his back and Ennis would go through the instructions with him and help him as needed.

"Okay," Ennis said when Jack was settled one day, several cushions behind his head. "Pull yer knee up to yer stomach an' move it towards the opposite shoulder. Count an' hold it fer ten seconds, then let go." He put the paper down and sat on the edge of the sofa, looking down at Jack. His heart filled with love for the man there, and he vowed to help Jack get better.

Together, he and Jack took hold of his leg where the injury was, and with Ennis's fingers on top of Jack's, they moved his leg upwards to his stomach, then over to the opposite side. Jack hissed as he felt a stretch in his side.

"You okay?" Ennis asked in concern, raking Jack's face with his eyes.

"Yeah," he managed. "Just some stretchin' goin' on there."

"That's a good thing, rodeo. That's what the list says," Ennis replied, nodding at the paper. "Yer supposed to do this a few times a day, okay?"

"Right."

A few more days later, Jack's condition started to improve, and Ennis agreed that he could try some of the standing exercises. Jack was starting to get restless with lying down all day and it showed.

It was the middle of the day and after deciding that Jack could do with some fresh air, Ennis helped him outside and they walked to their hill, since riding was out of the question for a while. They stood amongst the heather and Ennis could tell that it was doing Jack good to be outside again.

"Okay, bud," Ennis said, standing close to Jack and giving Jack butterflies in his stomach. "Time fer somethin' a bit more challengin'. You ready?"

Jack nodded. "Yep." Ennis took hold of his hands firmly and Jack started doing what the relevant item on the list had said. He gripped at Ennis's hands and slowly moved his bad leg upwards, standing on his good one and gritting his teeth when he felt the stretch.

"S'okay, rodeo, I gotcha," said Ennis in an encouraging voice. "It's okay. I ain't goin' nowhere."

Jack pulled his knee right up to his chest, inclined towards the opposite shoulder and held it there, both counting to ten in their heads.

Finally, Jack dropped his leg and sighed in relief.

"How you feelin', darlin'?"

Jack smiled. "Good. Think it's gettin' better."

Ennis smiled back. "Good." Jack moved into his arms and they held each other close, breathing in each other's scent and caressing each other.

"Ennis?"

"Yeah, bud?"

"Can we stay here a while?"

Ennis pulled back and smiled. "Sure." They removed their jackets and laid them out on the heather, side by side. Ennis helped Jack lie down and settled next to him. Jack shuffled towards Ennis, who put an arm around him and twined his fingers in his hair. Jack curled an arm around Ennis's chest and hugged him.

"Thanks, Ennis. Not just fer this, with the exercises, but for everythin'. You been real good to me the last couple days."

Ennis held him closer. "I ain't been treatin' you right, Jack. I know that. I...I'm workin' up the guts to tell you what's up, an' I been kickin' myself for the way I been treatin' you lately. I'm tryin' to make it up to you. I was so scared that I was gonna lose you."

Jack shuffled upwards and kissed Ennis's cheek. "It's alright. Whatever it is that's botherin' you, it's alright. As long as you an' me are okay, that's all that matters to me. I love you, Ennis. That's just the way it is. Nothin' will ever change that, okay?"

"Yeah. Love you too, rodeo." Ennis kissed his hair and then turned onto his side, facing Jack. He drank in the sight of the beloved man before him, and when Jack puckered his lips Ennis gladly responded, kissing them softly as he ran a hand through Jack's hair.

When they pulled apart, Jack was smiling again, and Ennis enveloped him in his arms, relishing the feeling. Jack felt sure by now that things were going to be okay, and he soon fell asleep, hearing Ennis humming that lullaby in his ear.

Despite what might be going on in their personal lives, Ennis and Jack started to see things on the ranch slowly improve. The majority of meat that had been ordered had now been collected and their bank balance was growing. The calves they were left with would now be raised and bred, and the cycle would go on. It turned out that the cattle from Lightning Flat were black baldies, Jack mentioning that his father had bred Aberdeen Angus with Herefords, and Ennis could see the results for himself. Whatever John Twist might have been, Ennis had to admit he'd known his stuff.

Jack started talking about breeding the cows of the herd with their own bull, figuring that the crossover might produce interesting and possibly profitable results. His father had left him these animals; he might as well put them to good use. He made a mental note to get on it as soon as his hip was better, and maybe ask around for advice.

To Jack's dismay, however, things between him and Ennis were still shaky. Ennis had been wonderful in helping him with his physical exercises and had promised him that he would start treating him better. Ennis kissed him and touched him a lot more now than he had been doing, but Jack could feel that things weren't quite right still. He felt like there was still something missing there.

Right now, he was in the office, going over the books and making sure everything was up to date. A knocking at the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Yep?"

Becky poked her head in and smiled. "Hey, you got a minute?"

Jack smiled widely. "Hey, Becky. Sure, come on in." She settled herself into the chair on the other side of the desk. She was almost 27 weeks gone and it showed. Her bump was quite large and she was now wearing loose jeans and even baggier shirts than ever before. It had happened in the blink of an eye and Jack could have kicked himself for not paying her more attention lately.

"So, what's on yer mind?" he asked, looking at her.

She tilted her head and looked at him. "How you holdin' up?"

Jack shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Hip's gettin' better."

"Good. What about you an' Ennis? I noticed he's been different lately."

"Yeah. When Pete attacked me. I think...it got Ennis thinkin' on his nightmares of losin' me, an'...I think it struck him, an' made him ashamed of how he's been actin'. He says he's gonna try an' make it up to me. He's been helpin' me with the exercises, an' he's been real sweet lately."

Becky saw his brow furrow. "What's wrong?"

Jack licked his lower lip, thinking. "He...he still can't seem to tell me what's goin' on. An'...when we're together, it's good, but...somethin's missin', an' I dunno what."

"Somethin' is missin', Jack. The truth, whatever it is."

"Yeah..." He shook his head and looked towards her. "So, how are you doin' lately?"

Becky could tell he needed a change of subject right now. "Well...as you can see, things are lookin' pretty good. Can feel her kickin' sometimes." She smiled.

"Yeah?"

Becky nodded. "Sleepin' a bit better, I guess. Eatin' like a horse still."

Jack smirked. "Yer gonna eat us out of house an' home, Becky."

Becky smiled sweetly at him. "Oh well." Her expression turned serious. "You heard anythin' from James? About Pete?"

Jack smiled slightly. "Yep. James was gonna have him fer attackin' me anyway, but when he interrogated Pete, he cracked. Confessed to everythin'. The fire, the mail threats, hittin' me an' Michael, an' then attackin' me with a weapon. He confessed to everythin', an' James asked me what I wanna do. I wanna take him to court, so Greg's comin' by tomorrow to get things set up an' he's gonna get us a court date. Want him put away fer a long time," he said vehemently.

Becky nodded. "It's the best thing to happen. He won't never leave you alone otherwise."

"I know." They sat there for a while longer, talking about various things, including the ranch, the cattle, the baby; everything that didn't involve the more pressing matter of what was on Ennis's mind.

Becky left the office and went in search of Ennis. She saw him entering the barn and made a beeline for him.

"Ennis."

He turned, looking nervous when he saw who it was. "Oh, hey Becky. You shouldn't really be out here, you know."

"I need to talk to you," she said firmly, folding her arms. "It's about Jack."

He averted his eyes. "Oh."

She tried to make him meet her gaze. "He's still sufferin', you know."

"I thought his hip was gettin' better?" Ennis asked, looking confused.

Becky wanted to slap him right there. "Not that, you idiot. I mean about you!"

Ennis looked at her sadly. "I...I dunno what to do, Becky."

"Tellin' him the truth would be a good start," she replied bluntly. He looked away again.

"I know, but...I don't wanna hurt him."

"Yer already hurtin' him by treatin' him the way you have been. If you ain't careful you're gonna lose him."

"I made a decision already, Becky. I'm gonna tell him after Thanksgivin'."

"You are?"

He nodded. "Yep. I figure things are gonna be hectic enough as it is. Gonna talk to him once it's over."

She looked at him with a beady eye. "You promise on that?"

He looked at her, nearly crumbling under her glare. "Yeah."

Becky studied him for a few more moments, and then, satisfied, she looked away.

"Okay." She walked out of the barn and back towards the house, leaving Ennis breathing a sigh of relief. She sure was protective of Jack, just like him.

Soon after, he left the barn and wandered over to the office in search of Jack.

When he knocked and entered, Jack's face broke into a smile. "Hey, cowboy. Come on in."

Ennis walked around the desk to the back of Jack's chair. He put his arms around Jack's neck and held on, just breathing in his scent. Jack didn't understand why Ennis was doing this but didn't question it; just held on in response.

The next day, Greg Thompson, their lawyer, came to the ranch to discuss the court case against Pete. Jack wanted him to be put away for everything that he'd done and everybody else agreed. Ennis especially wanted him behind bars because if he wasn't, he would be tempted to go after Pete himself for what he'd done to Jack.

The five of them were all sat in the kitchen, Greg explaining to them how it would all work.

"So, on the court date, we go to the court rooms and the judge will tell the jury the charges against Pete, the accused. That threatening letter he sent you will be used as evidence against him, and his confession will probably be enough to convince the judge. You've already given your statement, right?" he asked, looking around at them all.

"Yeah," replied Jack. "We already done that this mornin', James came by. Got a statement from me, Ennis an' Becky 'bout how Pete's been all this time, an' one from my mama for the night he attacked me. Got one from Michael 'bout Pete hittin' him too. An' one from Rick; the medical stuff. Got a lot of people against him."

"Good, that should be enough for the jury to decide, an' to convince the judge. You might not have to speak. But..." He hesitated.

"What?"

"Well...Pete did all of those things because of the nature of your relationship, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"If the judge asks Pete why he did all of those things, it's bound to come out. Pete could expose you." Greg looked sympathetic but frank; he'd known for a long time about their relationship and was something of a friend, having attended Becky's birthday party back in July.

Ennis and Jack looked at each other. "Didn't think of that," Jack admitted, looking apprehensive.

"But on the other hand...you two and your operation are becoming quite popular, and you're bringing money to the community. It may very well be that people won't like it, but they'll let it go because of your standing in the area. If Pete does expose your relationship as motivation for his hate campaign, you may be called to speak in your defence, and this may work against you in court."

Jack bit his lip. "But...Pete attacked me, he tried to kill me. Surely that'll be more important to the judge than what me an' Ennis do?"

"You would think, but you're forgetting the sodomy law," Greg said grimly.

"Shit, forgot about that," Jack groaned. He hated that law; why should it be illegal for two people to show their love for one another in the best way possible?

"From a professional point of view, I'd say that there's a good chance things will be okay. Regardless of what Pete may about you in court, there is more than enough for the judge to work with. He won't disregard all the evidence just because of the nature of the relationship of the defendants."

"But that law..." Jack started, looking apprehensive.

Greg held up his hands to stop him. "Judge Creed is a good judge; he's on the side of the defendants. As far as I know, he's not homophobic, but he is still bound by the law. If he has to reassess the sentence based on the fact that you're gay, it may be tricky for you to get justice."

"Right," said Jack distractedly. "So...what happens now?"

"I'll file the case along with your statements from Sherriff Goodman. I'll hand it all in to the court and then all we can do is wait until it is reviewed. In the meantime, Pete will remain in custody in prison, so you'll be safe. I'll let you know when we have a court date, but I should warn you, it might take a while. That's just the way it is, I'm afraid."

"Alright, thanks Greg." They all stood up and shook Greg's hand. Ennis and Jack had been intimidated by him when they'd first met him, but now they were glad that he was on their side.

The pair of them walked to the front door with him. Just as he was about to go down the steps, he turned to them and gave them a small smile.

"Don't worry guys. I'll help you every step of the way. You've got friends here who know about your relationship, and I'm sure they'll stick to your side." He nodded to them and then descended the steps to his car.

Ennis looked at Jack, who still looked worried. He gently curled an arm around his waist and squeezed him. "It'll be alright, darlin'," he murmured.

Jack sighed. "I know. He's right. If Pete confessed, then...hopefully that an' the statements an' the letter will be enough fer him. We might not hafta stand up." Jack figured that was probably wishful thinking on his part.

"But Jack...you heard what Greg just said, 'bout that stupid law. It might work in his favour. The judge might not hate us but there might be people in the jury who do."

"We'll just hafta take it, cowboy," Jack said in a resigned voice. "We ain't no strangers to hate." It was true; they'd encountered hate ever since they'd gotten together, and Ennis even before that when he'd seen Earl in the ditch.

"Don't mean we gotta just let it happen. Gotta fight." Becky, who was just inside the door, heard this and snorted to herself. She thought it a bit rich of Ennis to say that with things being the way they were. Ennis heard her reaction and his insides burned with shame.

"Yeah." Jack put his own arm around Ennis and squeezed back, glad that he and Ennis were finally fighting against something together, instead of arguing and experiencing an emotional distance. Jack wanted the whole thing with Pete to just end, so that he and Ennis could get back to their lives and try to sort themselves out. External distractions were the last thing they needed.

November 17th, 1964

There were only a handful of days to go until Thanksgiving, and the household was busy preparing for this. Rose would be making dinner this year and the other three would help her according to their abilities. Jack spoke very highly of his mother's Thanksgiving dinners while growing up and Becky felt a twinge of sadness that she hadn't been able to experience this for herself. At least now they could make up for lost time.

A court date for their case against Pete had been decided for the 28th, in which all four of them were required to attend, as well as Michael and Rick, due to the fact that they too had made statements against him. Jack hoped that the nature of his and Ennis's relationship wouldn't be brought up, but it was highly likely as that had been Pete's motivation for most of the charges. He dreaded to think what might happen if it did come up. What he and Ennis did was against the law, no two ways about it, and he feared that they would get into trouble themselves for it. If they were separated and locked up for it without having made up for everything that had been going on, Jack just knew that he would probably die of a broken heart.

That morning, Rose had called all three of them into the living room, saying that she needed to talk to them. The four of them were sat either on or by the bed, looking at Rose with confused expressions on their faces.

"Well," she began. "I know yer wonderin' why I gathered the three of ya here."

"What is it, mama?" asked Jack, hoping that she was okay.

"Well...today would've been mine an' John's twenty-second weddin' anniversary," she said softly, twisting her hands together nervously.

The three of them just stared at her in shock at this piece of information. Despite how his father had treated him over the years, he had to grudgingly admit that his mother had loved him; had seen someone different to the person whose shadow he'd grown up in.

"Oh...I dunno what to say, mama. You okay?"

She nodded, clearly trying to hold herself together and not break down. "I do miss him, but...I know it's better for you that he ain't around no more. And I love livin' here with you all. I just...wish he could have seen what a fine young man you are, Jack, an' that you've flourished so much since you found Ennis an' the pair of you got together. Why, Jack...when you brought Ennis home that time, after Brokeback, I barely recognised you at first." She smiled at him. "You were so different. Happier. I thanked the Lord that day that you found Ennis, because it gave me hope that you would be able to finally leave Lightnin' Flat an' find somewhere better for you. And Ennis..." She grasped his hand and smiled at him. "You've done so much for Jack. You got him away from his father an' helped him realise his dreams. I can't thank you enough for that."

Ennis went red. "Well...once I realised how I was feelin' about him, it all just clicked, what I hadta do. Didn't wanna be without him, so..." He glanced shyly at Jack, who smiled back. Becky started to see what Rose might be doing here, but she kept her mouth shut, smiling serenely.

"Anyway," Rose went on. "I just wanted you to know that I understand why you felt about yer daddy the way you did, but I hope you also understand that he wasn't always like that, not at first. He was the love of my life an' I stood by him no matter what. Sometimes against my better judgement, but I'd made vows and I kept them." Ennis and Jack looked at each other again, digesting her words.

Soon after, their family meeting ended and they all went back downstairs to continue with the ranch work. Becky went into the kitchen where Rose was.

"Subtle," she said, smirking. Rose looked at her with a shamefaced expression.

"Well," she started. "I did mean what I said about yer daddy, but...it got me thinkin' on marriage, an' how Ennis an' Jack are right now. Same sort of thing. I've been worryin' that this whole thing might cause them to break up, so...I hoped to remind them of what it takes to make a marriage work, an' that they shouldn't just give up when things get hard."

"Yeah," Becky agreed. "I saw what you were doin', but I thought it best to just keep quiet. They needed to hear that an' I hope they listen."

"I'm sure they will." Rose was silent for a moment, looking saddened.

"What?" Becky asked.

"I do miss him," she said quietly. "I know it's hard for you to believe, but...I do."

Becky bit her lip, and then outstretched her arms. "Come here." The pair of them embraced, mother to daughter, not for the first time, since they had hugged upon Rose's arrival to the ranch, but this was the first time without awkwardness; with true feeling and love.

"I love you, mama," Becky whispered, clutching her tightly.

Rose couldn't stop the tears escaping. "I love you too, sweetheart."

"It's gonna be okay, you know," Becky said, patting her back.

"I hope so."

Becky pulled away. "Look...if...Ennis an' Jack do...break up," she started, the very thought making her feel sick. "I...I wanna stay with you."

"You do?" Rose asked in surprise.

Becky nodded. "I've known all along that I can't do this by myself," she said, indicating her bump. "So...if they break up, I don't want to take sides, so...I'd like to stay with you. My baby's gonna need her grandma," she said, smiling.

"You can count on me, Becky, I promise," Rose replied, touching her face and smiling back. "I hope that they don't break up, but...if they do, I'll be right here for you an' yer little girl."

That night, after a long day, Ennis and Jack climbed into their bed, feeling drained. Rose's words were still weighing on their minds. Jack had a suspicion that part of what she had said, while being true of her and John, were also aimed at himself and Ennis.

Jack didn't know if Ennis had taken his mother's words to heart, but he knew himself that she was right; they had to work at this if things were going to get better. Right now, things were in limbo; Ennis was still quiet and closed up, but he was still attentive towards him.

It had been just over a week since the attack, and according to the instructions Rick had given him, he and Ennis could now have sex again without fear of further injury. Jack did feel stronger now thanks to the physical exercises, but he wasn't sure if they were emotionally ready right now.

He turned to look at Ennis, who was staring at the ceiling. "Ennis?" he murmured.

Ennis looked at him. "Yeah?"

"It's been over a week, if you wanna...?" He couldn't believe that he was the one suggesting it, but the mere thought of sex had made his brain migrate to his groin and he couldn't help himself. He cursed himself for needing it, even while he and Ennis were on shaky ground.

Ennis looked at him unsurely. "You sure?"

Jack nodded, wondering if this was a good idea. Ennis rolled onto his side, facing Jack. They looked at each other in the darkness, and then, tentatively, Ennis leaned in and gently pressed their lips together. Jack felt need and want fill him up quickly, and he gave a soft moan. They could never resist each other if it had been a while since the last time.

Ennis ran a hand through Jack's dark hair and Jack curled an arm around Ennis's waist, pulling him closer. Ennis got the message and slid up over to lie on top of him. He straddled Jack's hips and sank down onto him, the kissing intensifying and their hard members rubbing together. Jack felt that maybe this time, there would be some passion to it; the passion that they hadn't really felt since before Lightning Flat. He hadn't let on, but he'd jerked off a few times in the shower; or at least, he'd tried to. Any erotic memories of Ennis he conjured up were always ruined by thoughts of the reality surrounding their relationship. His orgasms had been weak and not at all satisfying.

Ennis kissed his way down Jack's chest, lost in desire and love. He nuzzled his nose in Jack's chest hair, the way they both loved. He reached further down, between Jack's legs. For a few moments, he licked at the wonderful substance leaking from Jack, who bucked upwards at his movements.

"Ennis," he groaned. "Get back up here. Want ya inside me." Ennis crawled up him again and kissed him once more before rising onto his knees.

What happened next wiped away all thoughts of desire for Jack. Ennis flipped him over onto his stomach. He lay there, shaking and panicking as Ennis grabbed the lube and started to prepare himself. He now knew that something was definitely wrong; they had discussed this position and agreed that they didn't want to do it like this anymore, preferring face to face. Jack had brief flashbacks of all the times on Brokeback that Ennis had done this, because he couldn't admit to the fact he was having sex with a guy. Jack had since told Ennis that he didn't like doing it this way anymore, and Ennis was about to initiate it.

He didn't want it; not like this. It couldn't happen.

He felt Ennis grab his hips and just as he started to penetrate him, Jack went cold all over.

"Stop," he choked out, teeth clenching. Ennis immediately did so, looking at Jack, confused.

"Jack? What is it?"

Jack struggled underneath him. "Just...get off me." Ennis rolled back onto his side of the bed, wiping off the lube with a bunch of tissues from the nightstand, staring at Jack as he rose from the bed and faced away from him, hands covering his mouth.

"Jack?" Ennis asked fearfully. "What's wrong?"

Jack turned to face him, hands on his hips. "You flipped me over, that's what!"

Ennis looked confused. He opened his mouth, about to ask what the problem was, and then he remembered their discussion about that position, and that Jack didn't like it. His eyes widened and he clamped his mouth shut.

"Now he remembers," Jack said scathingly.

"Jack..."

"I told you I don't like that no more. What the hell is yer problem, Ennis?

"Jack, I forgot-"

"You also seem to forget about this sometimes," Jack responded, raising his left hand and showing his ring.

"What do ya mean?"

Jack had finally had enough of all the secrecy and the lies, so he let loose. "You. Not tellin' me what's been goin' on, all the times you've either ignored me or snapped at me. Pushin' me away when I try to help. Fuckin' me an' then rollin' right off me, makin' me feel like some cheap whore, only here to scratch an itch for ya." The words spilled from Jack's mouth and pierced Ennis's heart. He finally saw that things had gone too far, and that he'd made a horrible mistake.

"Jack, I been tryin'. I just-"

Jack threw up his hands. "Yeah, yeah. You told me. It's too hard fer you to tell me, that ya think it'd hurt me. Well guess what, Ennis? Yer hurtin' me anyway. Yer breakin' my heart with all this crap an' I'm gettin' sick of it. An' now yer flippin' me over like ya did on Brokeback even though you know I don't like it."

"Jack, I'm sorry-"

Jack leaned over the bed on his hands, looking right into Ennis's face. "I don't wanna hear it. Don't tell me yer fuckin' sorry. You've had two months to tell me what's goin' on but you haven't. I ain't gonna ask again, but I am gonna make a change 'round here."

Ennis looked at him, utterly terrified. "What?"

Jack went to the cupboard, pulled out a spare bed sheet and pillow, tossing them to Ennis. "I want you on the sofa tonight. An' every night until Thanksgivin'."

Ennis thought his heart would tear in two. "What about after?"

"I'm gonna wait until it's over, 'cos we got the family to consider. But then...I'm gonna give you one last chance to come clean. If you can't do that...I'm gonna kick you out."

Ennis's eyes widened. "Jack, no-"

Jack glared at him. "I love you, Ennis. I'm always gonna love you. But I can't be in a relationship full of lies an' deceit. One last chance after the holiday, then that's it. Now go." He pointed towards the door.

Ennis rose from the bed, fighting back tears. He couldn't help but look at the shirts on the back of the door on his way out. Once he was out in the hallway, he heard the bedroom door slam behind him and he winced.

He lay on the sofa, but he couldn't sleep. The tears flowed freely and his heart ached. This was his own fault, he knew that, and he wished more than anything that he had the strength to set things right. He would have to do as Jack commanded; tell him as soon as Thanksgiving was over. It was the only way to save their relationship.