A/N: A fun little one-shot idea that I saw someone came up with on facebook and I wanted to make it happen :) I honestly cannot remember who had the idea, but props to you if you read this. And if you're not into the smuttiness, just stop after the songs ;)

xxxx

It was Friday. Alright. Blaine was basically freaking out. As the bell signalling that it was officially the weekend clamoured, Blaine took his time packing his bag and exiting calculus. He wiped his slightly sweaty palms on his purple jeans as he walked down the steadily emptying hallways of McKinley High School, getting closer to the courtyard with each step.

The weekly sing-off was today and he'd been chosen. Was this some kind of cruel joke that they played on the new kid? Like some sort of initiation? Blaine had only been attending for five days now and he was expected to choose a song and sing to a mystery opponent. Nobody knew who he was singing against save for whoever was actually competing with him he supposed. Earlier this week, Blaine had received an anonymous note in his locker giving him the details of the event and warning him not to tell a soul he was competing. Apparently this was a pretty serious and secretive happening at McKinley.

Blaine's heart sped up when he spotted the head of his gorgeous boyfriend turning a corner. He ran up to Kurt and grabbed his shoulder, effectively spinning him around.

"Oh, hey Blaine." Kurt kissed him nonchalantly on the cheek. "What's going on? Are you heading somewhere?"

Blaine nodded slowly before explaining, "Mercedes told me there was this 'sing-off' thing that happens every Friday. I thought it might be kind of fun to watch? Do you want to come?"

Kurt's eyes lit up. "Of course! I never miss it. The whole school basically shows up. It's like a tradition. And being the newbie, it's probably not a bad idea for you to go. You know, really become a Titan."

Blaine knew blending in was the last thing he's be doing in a number of minutes but he smiled and went along with it anyway so as not to blow his cover.

I would make a damn good spy, Blaine thought to himself, letting a bit of his ego slip into his opinion.

"I wonder who it's going to be. I once saw a competition with Rachel and Artie. It was hilarious! Rachel was so nervous because she was up against a champ. Artie is one of the few undefeated sing-off competitors. He seems to really have a knack for it. Anyway, Rachel choked halfway through some song from West Side Story."

Blaine grew more uneasy with the thought. What if he was up against one of the champions? They wouldn't be that mean, would they? Blaine pushed the thought aside and clutched Kurt's hand tightly, racing down the corridor.

As they entered the courtyard, a large crowd caught their eyes. True to Kurt's word, at least 600 students were standing around a dark corner of the courtyard chatting to each other. The dimness seemed to make the whole situation even shadier and Blaine almost laughed because this stuff only happened in movies for crying out loud.

Kurt and Blaine stood at the center of the throng, just waiting for something to happen. Blaine had been growing increasingly nervous as the seconds ticked by until finally a boy that Blaine didn't recognize stepped up onto one of the large tables in the corner and spoke up.

"ATTENTION."

As soon as all sets of eyes were on him and you would be able to hear a pin drop, he continued.

"Thank you. Welcome to the first sing-off of the school year!"

Cheers erupted from damn near every mouth in the place.

"I'm thinking today's presentation is going to be pretty entertaining for any of you seniors that know a single thing about our contenders. Alright, first to be announced is some fresh meat. Give it up for Blaine Anderson!"

Blaine cast his eyes downwards and made his way through his applauding classmates who all immediately stepped out of his way. Apparently people had respect for competitors, gay or not. He glanced to Kurt as soon as he was at the head of the table, but his boyfriend had already accommodated his facial expressions to match those of everyone around him, adequately hiding his surprise. Blaine looked insanely apprehensive and Kurt realized that little tale about Rachel and Artie probably didn't help. Blaine turned again to face the speaker who was now about to introduce his competition.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen, due to popular demand, Blaine is to compete against one of our undefeated competitors. Sorry buddy." He patted Blaine on the shoulder and Blaine's hopes fell through the floor. The boy on the table motioned for everyone to look behind Blaine at the same time he said, "Here he is! Kurt Hummel everyone!"

Blaine swivelled around fast enough to give himself whiplash and, sure enough, Kurt was sitting, one leg over the other, inspecting his nails with a small smirk, on top of the table. Blaine hadn't noticed him leave his spot in the crowd and did a double-take. His boyfriend looked up at him from under his eyelashes in a way that could only be described as incredibly sexy and hopped off the table, wrapping his arms around Blaine from behind and whispering, "This is going to be fun," before turning and sitting on the bench that was connected to the large table.

"Tradition stands," Mr. Announcer yelled. "New kid goes first! Whenever you're ready." He nodded to Blaine and placed a CD player on the concrete slab. The note had instructed Blaine to bring a CD with the instrumental version of his song selection on it, so he pulled it out of his bag and slipped it into the player, turned it to the number he deemed appropriate for this moment, and paused it. Since he was Blaine, of course he had an instrumental CD of Katy Perry's already at his disposal. He knew every song by heart and thought he would just pick whatever song seemed to fit in the moment. Thankfully, that's exactly what happened.

Blaine took a necessary deep breath and pressed play before spinning on his heel and belting out the first lyrics.

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.
Your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock.
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.
Your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock.

He glanced at the crowd who all seemed thoroughly surprised that dapper little Blaine would pick such a suggestive song. That actually made him feel really good. He turned his head to meet Kurt's eyes to see that his boyfriend had the same astounded look as everyone else but it was also mixed with a huge amount of amusement.

Word on the street, you got something to show me, me,
Magical, colourful, Mr. Mystery,
I'm intrigued, for a peek, heard it's fascinating,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.

Blaine turned so he was now fully facing Kurt, but also facing half the audience seeing as how the group had now completely encircled the table.

Words up your sleeve,
Such a tease,
Wanna see the show,
In 3D, a movie,
Heard it's beautiful,
Be the judge,
And my girls gonna take a vote,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.

Everyone's eyes grew wider as Blaine slid one hand down the side of his body and slid the other in the opposite direction, pulling slightly at his white V-neck shirt, showing a small portion of tanned skin. Kurt closed his mouth and gulped, eyes glued to his partners hip.

I want the jaw dropping, eye popping, head turning, body shocking.
I want my heart throbbing, ground shaking, shoe stomping, amazing.

Blaine kept up his reputation of jumping on furniture by lightly hopping onto the bench beside Kurt. He gave his first smile of the performance and studied Kurt's glasz eyes, shaking his hips lightly as an acceptably suggestive dance move.

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch,
I'ma peace out if you don't give me the pay off,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.
Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
What you waiting for, it's time for you to show it off,
Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.

Kurt refused to be turned on because of how public and silly this all was, but it was happening anyway.

Blaine placed one foot carefully on top of the table before picking up the other and placing it just so that he was directly over Kurt's head.

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.
Your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock.
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.
Your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock.
I wanna see ya.

Kurt finally turned his head upwards and found Blaine lowering so that his knees were on either side of Kurt's head and their faces were getting closer and closer, but not close enough for Kurt's liking.

Skip the talk, heard it all, time to walk the walk,
Brake me off, if you bad, show me who's the boss,
Need some goose, to get loose, come on take a shot,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.

Blaine kicked his feet out so that his legs were dangling off the edge and Kurt was forced to either turn in his seat or not watch Blaine at all. He chose the former and tried not to seem too eager to want to watch his boyfriend being a sexy beast.

I want the jaw dropping, eye popping, head turning, body shocking.
I want my heart throbbing, ground shaking, shoe stomping, amazing.

Blaine hopped off the raised surface altogether and circled the perimeter of the table, paying attention to the rest of his audience.

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch,
I'ma peace out if you don't give me the pay off,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.
Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
What you waiting for, it's time for you to show it off,
Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.

By the time he'd made it back to Kurt, he was no longer watching Blaine, but trying to act calm and collected.

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.
Your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.

Kurt would look up every few seconds to glance at Blaine before returning to his impeccable nails. Well. Blaine would have to change that, wouldn't he? Blaine stood straight in front of the brunet boy and dropped to his knees, sliding his hands from his shoulders to his hips agonizingly slowly.

Oh my God no exaggeration,
Boy all this time was worth the waiting,
I just shed a tear,
I am so unprepared.

Blaine glanced up through his lashes just as Kurt had done earlier and massaged Kurt's hip bones with his thumbs before sliding his palms down the gorgeous thighs outlined by the black skinny jeans Kurt wore.

You got the finest architecture,
End of the rainbow looking treasure,
Such a sight to see,
And it's all for me.

At the end of the verse Blaine gave a small squeeze to Kurt's knees and stood abruptly, almost making Kurt whimper with the loss of connection.

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch,
I'ma peace out if you don't give me the pay off,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.
Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
What you waiting for, it's time for you to show it off,
Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful,
Come on baby let me see.

For the end of the song, Blaine grabbed one of Kurt's hands and slithered it up his left leg, stopping when his fingers were just brushing Blaine's ass.

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.
Your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock.
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.
I wanna see ya,
Come on baby let me see,
What you hiding underneath.

The music ended all too quickly and Blaine barely noticed the announcer kid click the stop button because he felt like his boyfriend could see his soul on display through his eyes.

The spectators were dead silent for five whole seconds before finally bursting into a simultaneous uproar of laudation. Hoots and hollers were audible from every direction.

Blaine smirked at Kurt and let go of his hand. Kurt quickly mirrored the expression and stood slowly.

"That was cute. Good job Blainey." Kurt patted his beau on the head and gave with a chaste kiss on the lips to make up for the awful nick name.

Blaine looked baffled and asked, "You mean you didn't enjoy that at all?"

Kurt's eyebrows lifted and he said, "No. No, I enjoyed it. Quite a lot, but now it's your turn. I'm not surprised we both used songs by our favourite artists," he winked, "so just sit back and try to enjoy it if you can."

Kurt motioned to the bench and popped his CD into the portable player. As Blaine sat, he noticed that a small drizzle had begun, but no one seemed to even notice the moisture seeping into their clothes. They were all too wrapped up in the sing-off. Blaine reached into his bag and pulled out a coat that nearly reached his knees.

Kurt walked over to a small group of people who just now Blaine noticed was composed of most of the glee club. Mercedes whispered into Kurt's ear and Kurt grinned a little before whispering something back and strutting to the opposite side of the table from Blaine. He saw Mercedes' eyes bulge and she looked just about ready to explode with laughter.

With one jab of his long elegant finger, and not so much as a glance at Blaine, Kurt started the music.

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick,
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick,
Let's have some fun, this beat is sick,
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

Huh!

Kurt's head snapped to the side on the last sound.

Blaine's jaw dropped farther than seemed anatomically possible and he stared a hole into his boyfriend's back, desperately wanting him to turn around. When he didn't, Blaine glanced all around him where nobody seemed overly surprised or really surprised at all. Most of them just looked impressed.

...what exactly was Kurt's reputation around here? Blaine thought.

I wanna kiss you,

Kurt finally stood and walked seductively over Blaine.

But if I do then I might miss you, babe.
It's complicated and stupid,
Got my ass squeezed by sexy Cupid,
Guess he wants to play, wants to play,
A love game, a love game
.

Kurt traced one finger down the side of Blaine's face and under his chin, pulling him face to face with Kurt.

Hold me and love me,
Just wanna touch you for a minute,
Maybe three seconds is enough,
For my heart to quit it.

On the last 't' of 'it' Kurt nipped at Blaine's lips, purposely missing them as payback.

Let's have some fun this beat is sick,
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick,
Don't think too much just bust that kick,
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

Kurt swung one leg up so his foot was to the right of Blaine on the bench, and leaned in to the lunge. Blaine thought the position looked sort of uncomfortable but it was one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen so he really didn't care.

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game,
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

Kurt dropped his boot clad foot to the concrete ground with a thump and slid his legs a bit farther apart so his crotch was resting on Blaine's knees. Blaine was so thankful that Kurt was flexible. It made things fun.

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game,
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

Before the instrumental break was over, Kurt stepped easily out of the position and placed a slender hand on Blaine's head to keep it in place. He sashayed to the point where he had to let go of Blaine's head, and copied Blaine's actions by stepping up on to the tabletop.

I'm on a mission,
And it involves some heavy touching yeah.
You've indicated your interest,
I'm educated in sex, yes.
And now I want it bad,
Want it bad.

Kurt gracefully shot down and put one leg on each side of Blaine's head, holding it in place again, this time with his toned thighs.

A love game,

A love game.

Kurt wove his fingers through the wet black curls, massaging Blaine's scalp and squeezing ever so slightly on his neck.

Hold me and love me,
Just wanna touch you for a minute,
Maybe three seconds is enough,
For my heart to quit it.

When Kurt's voice went up high like that, it drove Blaine crazy and he was almost half hard already. He was afraid utter embarrassment would be coming soon if Kurt didn't stop being so intimate with him in public. Not that he was complaining...

Let's have some fun this beat is sick,
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick,
Don't think too much just bust that kick,
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

When Kurt decided he'd had enough of playing nice, he stood up, swinging a long leg over Blaine's head, making sure to brush his cock softly against it. Blaine shivered and swallowed a little too hard to be discreet.

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game,
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game,
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

Kurt full on straddled Blaine this time, crotches almost touching because if they were, Kurt wouldn't be able to carry out what he was about to do.

I can see you staring there from across the block with a smile on your mouth,

Kurt brushed two fingers across Blaine's lips,

And your hand on your huh!

Blaine and pretty much everyone else in the vicinity were caught totally off guard when Kurt actually had the nerve to press a palm quickly to Blaine's growing erection. Blaine let out a loud gasp and a smug look took over Kurt's face.

The story of us it always starts the same,

With a boy and a boy and a huh! And a game!

Kurt pointed at each of them in turn during the manipulated lyrics and made an adorable confused face at the absence of the word 'girl'. Before the chorus started again, he looked past Blaine's ear and nodded once.

Blaine didn't have a chance to think who he might be signalling to, when Kurt slid off his lap and Blaine was pulled up and put on display at the top of the table. Brittany and Santana started running their fingers over his chest and through his hair.

And a game!

Blaine's mind went blank and the world seemed to fade around him when Kurt slowly stepped up to him, soaking wet and delicious, and circled the three of them doing what felt a lot like inspecting Blaine. He scrutinized every perfect detail and gave him a sharp slap on the ass which made Blaine yelp and a few audience members giggle. He was thanking each and every deity he could think of that he had donned his jacket earlier and that it was long enough to completely hide his boner.

A love game!

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game,
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game,
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game,
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?

Britt and Santana started singing in the background, "Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick," and Blaine had to wonder how they set this up if the competitors weren't allowed to reveal that they were in the sing-off to anyone.

Dans le love game?

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game,
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

Kurt briskly licked at the back of Blaine's ear.

Dans le love game?

The three seducers gave a final Huh! And the song was over. Blaine heaved a sigh of relief but also kind of wanted to cry because that was just... amazing. Kurt had never done anything like that before. What happened to those faces he made in the warehouse during 'Animal'?

This time, no applause came. A few of the Titans started murmuring to each other but that was it. Blaine didn't understand how any living person could have experienced that performance and not been turned on.

Suddenly a loud whistle cut through the tension in the air. Principal Figgins made his way through his students all while clapping with gusto.

"That performance was outstanding! Mr. Hummel! Congratulations to you! Where did you learn such masterful dance skills? Very entertaining!"

He just continued to cheer and realizing what the right thing to do would be, everyone else standing in the downpour joined in on the ovation.

Blaine was still too out of it to speak which gave Kurt a minor ego boost.

"Alright children!" Figgins shouted. "Go home and have a safe weekend!"

The hundreds of teenagers left without another word, climbing the steps and filing into the parking lot.

All except Blaine and Kurt. The two faintly heard the engines of several cars come to life and fade into the distance. When all was silent save for the pitter patter of rain, the couple took into note their drenched outfits.

Kurt inhaled sharply and mentioned, "We should probably get inside. Home. Soon. I mean... we're all wet and my clothes..."

Blaine's face was scrunched up in a look of confusion.

"Blaine...? Are you okay? Did you hear what I—"

Kurt wasn't able to finish his sentence seeing as how Blaine's mouth was now attacking his. Blaine leaned forward significantly, pushing Kurt backwards on to the table. Blaine bit down sharply on Kurt's bottom lip, making the taller boy moan and buck up lightly. That just made Blaine grind down all the harder which, in turn, made Kurt moan again.

"You... you're so incredibly sexy," Blaine growled.

"Kind of the point." Kurt ran his hands up and down Blaine's back.

"Seriously. It was insane. I was so close to just pulling down and taking you all into my mouth but hardly thought that was appropriate in front of the whole school."

Kurt panted and shoved his tongue into Blaine's open mouth, licking the sides and roof of it. Blaine sat up just enough to unbutton Kurt's shirt and throw it somewhere over his shoulder. Before he could lower himself back down, Kurt stuck a hand out and pushed against his chest, forcing him to sit up completely. Kurt proceeded to tug Blaine's jacket off his shoulders, pull his shirt roughly over his head, and start to work on his belt, reattaching their lips. Blaine dragged both hands down Kurt's pecs, stopping to pinch both nipples at once. He moved down and took one into his mouth, swiping his tongue up and down before biting into the tender flesh surrounding it and sucking with vigour, making Kurt arch his back and let out a throaty breath. Blaine repeated the action on the other nipple until Kurt stuck two fingers under his chin, gradually pulling their faces together, Blaine licking a long stripe up his chest as he went.

Once they were eye-to-eye, Kurt murmured, "I didn't know it was possible to get that hard without physical contact." Blaine could only agree. Kurt continued. "The lyrics of your song didn't go unnoticed. And I think I can accommodate your request."

Before he had a chance to so much as look at Kurt's pants, his boyfriend's skilful lips locked on to that spot where his ear and jaw met, causing Blaine to gasp with surprise. This spot, more than any, drove Blaine up the wall. Kurt sucked, then tongued, then bit, turning Blaine into a babbling mess. Kurt pulled away before Blaine had the chance to cum, as he probably would have even from the minor physicality, and gave a strong, wet lick across his open mouth, catching and holding Blaine's swollen upper lip between his own upper lip and tongue. Blaine moaned softly but desperately, in the sultriest way possible.

Kurt finally undid his own pants and it didn't take Blaine very long to figure out that wet skinny jeans were anything but easy to get off so he settled on only pulling the pants down mid-thigh. Blaine took in Kurt's boxer briefs which were already wet, partially from the rain and partially from the pre-cum leaking out of his hard cock.

Blaine pressed a hand to Kurt's erection through the fabric, palming harshly a few times before he heard, "Are we really doing this at school?"

He only smiled naughtily and launched into peeling Kurt's underwear back over his dripping hardness.

Blaine pulled Kurt so he was sitting on the cold cement edge of the table and Blaine himself slid down so he was seated comfortably on the conjoined bench. He tightly gripped the base of Kurt's cock and lightly tickled the tip with his tongue. Kurt hissed and Blaine licked more surely this time, right across the slit, before dipping his tongue in and tasting the pre-cum. Kurt threaded all ten fingers into Blaine's flattened curls as he had earlier and looked to the sky; cool rain doing nothing to help his burning skin. Once Blaine thought Kurt had been teased enough, he licked once around the head then wrapped his wet lips around Kurt's cock and took him as far as he could go. Kurt started thrusting wildly into the delectable moisture that surrounded his mouth and Blaine let him, mouth soon opening wider, licking back up to the head with nothing but his tongue caressing Kurt's dick. He moved his head past the erection and lapped at Kurt's balls, scraping them with his teeth and sucking one into his mouth, slurping and swirling around it with his tongue, Kurt producing little 'ah' and 'mm' sounds of pure pleasure. Blaine wrapped his lips around the middle and squeezed, popping it out of his mouth, and decided to lick a little further. He pressed his tongue to Kurt's perineum and prodded, hearing Kurt let out a high squeak and feeling a tug on his hair. Returning to the main attraction, Blaine undid his own pants with his free hand and pumped his erection a few times. He bobbed up and down quickly, licking the underside of the shaft on the way down and sucking as hard as he could on the way up. Kurt released Blaine's hair and opted for grabbing the edge of the table instead.

"Ah! Blaine! I'm gonna... in like... so close..." Kurt choked out.

Blaine gave himself several firm strokes and stopped his mouth on the way in, nose almost brushing Kurt's abdomen and just hummed, "Mhmm," before he felt the warm, delicious taste of Kurt's cum running down his throat and heard his boyfriend shouting his name and moaning out of bliss. Blaine swallowed heartily several times and Kurt could feel his tongue probing and throat working all around his diminishing hardness. As Kurt pulled out of Blaine's mouth and flopped back onto the counter behind him, sending icy drops shooting everywhere, Blaine began to orgasm himself. He kept his voice as low as he could manage, in case anyone was still in the school. Drops of hot cum splattered on his stomach and dribbled down his hand, ending up on the bench and mixing in with the puddles of rain, turning it a translucent shade of white.

Silence reigned for a few moments after that until the shorter boy could manage, "You know, one typical ejaculation contains 150 mg of protein."

Kurt looked on in horror as well as an added dose of amusement.

"Um... you're welcome?"

Blaine laughed as he took in his boyfriend's horrified face.

"What? I saw in on Wikipedia. I get bored easily."

Kurt felt no time in his life was more appropriate than now for a face-palm. Blaine got up to sit next to his partner, pulling up his pants and searching for his shirt and jacket. He found them several meters away and picked them up between two fingers. They were sopping wet and muddy and Blaine sighed, letting his head fall in defeat.

Kurt, however, let out a mortified shriek.

"I can't wear this!" he squeaked, holding up his own shirt. "Am I just supposed to walk out into the parking lot shirtless? What if there are teachers there or something? What if it's Mr. Schue? We could get suspended!"

"Kurt!" Blaine held up his empty hand in surrender, hoping not to get attacked. "It's fine. Let's just run to your car. Nobody will see."

Kurt ducked his head, dangerously close to hyperventilating. "Yes. Yeah. Okay, let's go."

The pair scampered up the steps, breaking into a sprint when they reached the student parking lot. Not half way to Kurt's car, a familiar, commanding voice drifted to their ears.

"Porcelain?"

Kurt seized up and hesitantly turned around to see one Sue Sylvester standing at the entrance of McKinley, wheeling a step machine out on a dolly. Kurt had no idea how she thought she was going to fit that in her le car, but his voice was hiding away in some dark corner and didn't want to come out.

He finally forced a, "Hello... Ms. Sylvester. I've really got to be going. Haveagoodweekendbye!"

The boys took as many steps as they could before the inevitable happened and coach Sylvester began to speak again. She marched up to Kurt and placed a bony hand on his shoulder, spinning him around.

"Why, in the name of all that is sweet and precious, do you have no shirt on? And who's he?" She pointed at Blaine.

"This is Blaine. He transferred from Dalton Academy."

"Oh!" Sue smiled. "So you're gay too."

She didn't phrase it as a question so Blaine just nodded mutely, wide eyed and more than a little freaked.

"Then there's no need to explain. Good on you porcelain! Didn't know you had it in you! Just don't let it happen again!" she called over her shoulder, grabbing hold of the exercise machine and abandoning her le car for a more athletic approach; jogging up the sidewalk until she was out of sight. Lazy the woman is not.

"Did... did she just congratulate you... on having sex?" Blaine asked.

It took about three seconds for them both to double over in laughter.

"Wait. So... did I win?" Kurt asked when he was able to breathe properly again.

It took Blaine a few seconds of blank staring to remember the competition.

"Oh! Right! Yeah. I think you won." He smiled shyly. "But seriously. I knew Figgins had a dirty little secret. That dance was way too libidinous to get only me hard. I mean, it was like clothed porn."

Kurt snorted before turning to Blaine.

"I love you. So much."

Blaine smiled warmly. "I love you too."

It felt good to be told so once in a while.

xxxx

A/N: Cause we all know Figgins loves his sex riots ;) Wanky.

Lyrics are those of Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. Except for where I did the little changy-changy. :)

RUV ROO.