I thought I would post the whole story in one chapter, for anyone who might be interested. Each chapter is separated by a line break.

Reminder: Every time you see "XXX," it is an abbreviation for about twenty or more X's. Every time you see italics, it is a note from me.





Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

AN: Special thanks (get it, cause I'm gothic) to my girlfriend (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin you're the love of my depressing life you rock too! MCR ROCKS!


Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here! AN: if you don't know who she is get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major funking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.


AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

AN: Is it good? Please tell me thanks!

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

AN: Thanks to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! BTW preps stop flaming my story okay!


The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u! AN: Raven this is you!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so funking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Funking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

Translation: STOP FLAMING THE STORY PREPS OKAY! Otherwise thanks to the gothic people for the good reviews! THANKS AGAIN RAVEN! Oh yeah, BTW I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.


On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok! AN: A lot of cool boys wear it okay!).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song I don't own the lyrics to that song).

"Joel is so funking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sang, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary funking Duff. I funking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

AN: I said stop flaming okay Ebony's name is EBONY not mary sue OKAY! DRACO IS SOO IN LOVE with her that he is acting different! They knew each other before okay!


"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the funk do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the funking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took off my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra. Then he put his thingy into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….


It was….Dumbledore!

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

AN: STOP flaming! If you flame it means you're a prep or a poser! The only reason Dumbledore swore is cause he had a headache okay and on top of that he was mad at them for having sex! PS I'm not updating until I get five good reviews!


Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludicrous fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girls' dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

AN: shut up preps okay! PS I won't update until you give me good reviews!


The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that it was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Chapter 7. Bring me to life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

AN: well okay you guys I'm only writing this cause I got 5 good reviews. And BTW I won't write the next chapter til I get TEN good ones! STOP FLAMING OR I'LL REPORT YOU! Ebony isn't a Mary Sue okay she isn't perfect SHE'S A SATANIST! And she has problems she's depressed for god's sake!


Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist signson my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u? AN: see does that sound like a Mary Sue to you?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid? see is that stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you funking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDS anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.


Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!

AN: stop flaming okay! If you do then you are a prep!


Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understandingly. She flipped her long waist-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Gryffindor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demanded angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy funker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah funking right! Funk off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to burst into tears.

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

AN: stop flaming okay! I didn't read all the books! This is from the movie okay so it's not my fault if Dumbledore swears! Besides I SAID HE HAD A HEADACHE! And the reason Snape doesn't like Harry now is cause he's Christian and Vampire is a Satanist! MCR ROCKS!


I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperio!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"

I thought about Vampire and his sexy eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a combination between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I explained.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

AN: Stop it you gay fags if you don't like my story then funk off! PS it turns out B'loody Mary isn't a muggle after all and she and Vampire are evil that's why they moved houses okay!


I was really scared about Voldemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hagrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a stake) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly burst into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the funk do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the funking bastard told me to funking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will funking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you funking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you funking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character? see is that out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practised for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbledore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y see that's basically not swearing and this time he was really upset and you will see why) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

AN: I said stop flaming you (?) preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! So see for yourself if it's stupid BTW thanks to my friend raven for helping me!


"NO!" I screamed. I was horrified! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her funk off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so funking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sadly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't funking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snape was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Lupin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUNKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Manson on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Avada Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Lupin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Lupin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Lupin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hagrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hagrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"


"This cannot be." Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumbledore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Lupin held up the camera triumphantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Lupin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hagrid said and he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're gothic?" Snape asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraid it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok Hagrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus Hagrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!

AN: stop flaming okay Hagrid is a pedo too: a lot of people in American schools are like that I wanted to address the issue! How do you know Snape isn't Christian plus Hagrid isn't really in love with Ebony that was Cedric okay!


I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I thought it was Hagrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. "How did you know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Voldemort has him bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snape and Lupin and Hagrid were there too. They were going to St. Mungo's after they recovered cause they were pedophiles and you can't have those funking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot girls. Dumbledore had constipatedthe video camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hagrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Ebony I need to tell you something." he said in a very serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Funk off." I told him. "You know I funking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like funked up preps like you." I snapped. Hagrid had been mean to me before for being gothic.

"No Ebony." Hagrid said. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goths too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being viewed by Snape and Lupin." Who MASTURBATED (c is dat speld rong see is that spelled wrong—yes, it was, lol) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angrily.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cords." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl! for all you cool gothic MCR fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!) imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Draco?"

Hagrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could see nothing.

"You see, Ebony," Dumbledore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "To see what is in the flames (HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT HAHA YOUR REVIEWERS FLAMES GET IT) you must find yourself first, okay?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OKAY YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hagrid yelled. DUMBLedore looked shocked. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hagrid stormed off back into his bed. "You are a liar, prof dumbledore!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off! if you don't know who she is you're a prep so funk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawaii, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Thanks (geddit get it) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snape and Lupin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Care of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an equally sad way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Draco's. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGonagall who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you funker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…. Voldemort has him bondage!"

(yes, she repeated that part)






Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

AN: raven thanks for helping me again I'm sorry I took your poster of Gerard but that guy is such a funking sexbomb! PREPS STOP FLAMING!


Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumbledore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

"Voldemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot! AN: don't you think gay guys are like so hot!)

"It's okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemort's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a cruel voice say. "Avada Kedavra!"

It was….. Voldemort!

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

AN: funk off PREPS okay! Raven thanks for helping again. I'm sorry I couldn't update but I was depressed and I had to go to the hospital cause I slit my wrists. PS I'm not updating til you give me 10 good reviews!




We ran to where Voldemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok in this he is sixteen years old so he's not a pedophile okay)

"Huh?" I asked.

"Ebony I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing cruelly. "What the funk? You torture my boyfriend and then you expect me to funk you? God, you are so funked up you funking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood poured out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I burst into tears sadly.

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (intentional typo) (geddit cuz hes so sexah get it cause he's so sexy) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yelled. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all the other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you want to be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such funking sluts." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Lupin took a video of me naked. Hagrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just want to be with you okay Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty and don't worry Ebony isn't a snob or anything but a lot of people have told her she's pretty) "I'm good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUNKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

Chapter 15.

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

AN: stop flaming okay! BTW you suck from now on every time someone flames me I'm going to slit my wrists! Thanks to Raven for helping!


"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now you can go and have sex with Vampire!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marilyn Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did some advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!

"Ebony I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I don't care what those funker preps and posers think. You're the most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just want to funking be with you. I funking love you!." Then…. he started to sing "The Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cause we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr! AN: don't you think those guys are so hot. if you don't know who they are get the funk out of here!) .

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some funking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch I funking hate that bitch) and CMM in A Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Lupin shouted at us but he stopped cause everyone was clapping at how sexy we looked together. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmeade right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went together.

Chapter 16.

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!

AN: you know what! shut up okay! prove to me you're not preps! raven you suck funking bitch give me back my funking sweater you're supposed to write this! Raven WTF you bitch you're supposed to do this! BTW thanks to britney5655 for teaching me Japanese!


We ran happily to Hogsmeade. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happily. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so funking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in the pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cause I knew know that we were the only true ones for each other. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum (platform?) boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we started moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up to the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Voldemort and the Death Dealers!

"WTF Draco I'm not going to a concert with you!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if it's MCR and you know how much I like them"

"What cause we…you know…" he fidgeted uncomfortably cause guys don't like to talk about you-know-what.

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yelled in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG WTF? Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess you're a prep or a Christian or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"Are you becoming a prep or what?" I shouted angrily.

"Ebony! I'm not! Please come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'The world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized the lyrics just for me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched for a while and I went up to my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese she speaks Japanese so do I. That means 'how do you do' in Japanese). "BTW Willow that funking poser got expelled. she failed all her classes and she skipped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U! an: RAVEN YOU FUNKING SUCK! FUNK YOU!)

"It serves that funking bitch right." I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we were feeling all depressed. We watched some gothic movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawaii." B'loody Mair shook her head energetically lethargically. "Oh yeah I have a confession after she got expelled I murdered her and then Lupin did it with her cause he's a necrophiliac."

"Kawaii." I commented happily. We talked to each other in silencefor the rest of the movie.

"OH HEY BTW, I'm going to a concert with Draco tonight in Hogsmeade with MCR." I said. " I need to wear like the hottest outfit EVER."

B'loody Mary nodded energetically. "Omfg totally let's go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my special Hot Topic Loyalty card.

"No." My head snapped up.

'WHAT?" my head spun. I could not believe it. "B'loody Mary are you a PREP?"

"NOOOO! NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool gothic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Who told you about them" I asked sure it would be Draco or Diabolo or Vampire (don't even SAY that name to me!). Or me.

"Dumbledore." She said. "Let me just call our brooms."

"OMFG DUMBLEDORE?" I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punk-goth stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for the real goths."

"The real goths?" Me and B'loody Mary asked.

"Yeah youu wouldn't believe how many posers there are in this town man! Yesterday Lupin and Snape tried to buy a gothic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I didn't even know they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEY'RE GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totally hot." said B'loody Mary.

"You know what I am going to give it to you free cause you look really hot in that outfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's Ebony Dark'ness Dementia TARA Way what's yours?"

"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my boyfriend Draco you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hagrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONY YOU NEED TO GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

AN: I said stop flaming the story! if you're a prep then don't read it! you can tell whether you're a prep or not by my quiz it's on my homepage. if you're not then you rock. if you are then FUUUUUNK OFFFFFFFFFF! ps willow isn't really a prep. Raven please do this I'll promise to give back your poster!


Tom Riddle gave us some clothes and stuff for free. He said he would help us with makeup if we wanted cause he was really into fashion and stuff. (he's bisexual). Hagrid kept shouting at us to come back to Hogwarts. "WTF Hagrid?" I shouted angrily. "Funk off you funking bastard." Well anyway Willow came. Hagrid went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said.

"Yeah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a black blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black pointy boots that showed off how pale she was. She had a really nice body wit big boobs and everything. She was thin enough to be anorexic.

"So are you going to the concert with Draco?" she asked.

"Yeah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Diabolo." she answered happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both looking extremely hot and sexy and you could tell they thought we were too. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup just like Marilyn Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from the Warped tower. B'loody Mary was going to the concert with Dracula. Dracula used to be called Navel but it turned out that he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They died in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slytherin now. He was wearing a black Warped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair with red streaks in it. We call him Dracula now. Well anyway we all went to Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik get it cause we're gothic) that his dad Lucius gave him. We did pot, coke and crack. Draco and I made out. We made fun of those stupid funking preps. We soon got there….I gasped.

Gerard was the sexiest guy ever! He looked even sexier then he did in pics. He had long raven black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was really skinny and he had an amazing ethnic voice. We moshed to Helena and some other songs. Suddenly Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the other members. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man with no nose and red eyes... Everyone ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Voldemort and the Death Dealers!

"You moronic idiots!" he shouted angstily . "Ebony, I told you to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Suddenly a gothic old man flew in on his broomstick. He had long black hair and a long black beard. He was wearing a black robe that said 'Avril Lavigne' on the back. He shouted a spell and Voldemort ran away. It was…DUMBLEDORE!

I here insert the original of that final paragraph in bold:

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE!

Which one do you think is easier to read? Happy lulz.

Chapter 18.

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!

AN: I SAID STOP FLAMING! if you do then you're a funking prep! thanks to raven for the help and stuff. you rock! and you're not a prep. thanks for my sweater! ps the other reason Dumbledore swore is cause he's trying to be gothic so there!


I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyeshadow, blood-red lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(The night before Draco and I went back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth get it skull cause I'm gothic and I like death). Dumbledore chased Voldemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR broom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Great Hall. There all the walls were painted black and the tables were black too. But you could see that there was pink paint underneath the black paint. And there were posters of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Charlotte t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic black dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

"Those guys are so funking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chased away Voldemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had dyed his hair black.

"….DUMBLEDORE?" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Voldemort!"

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As you can see I gave the room a makeover. What do you think about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryffindor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disgusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!.

"BTW you can call me Albus." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"What a funking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we went to Transformation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard get it, "way" like Gerard) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's having a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.

I was so funking angry.

Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise I'm not okay I promise

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11

AN: please stop flaming the story if you do you're a funking prep and you're jealous okay! from now one I'm going to delete your mean reviews! BTW Ebony's a pureblood so there! thanks to raven for the help!


All day we sat angrily thinking about Dumbledore. We were so funking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward to- the MCR concert. It had been postponed, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot aren't sensitive bi guys so hot).

"No one funking understands me!" he shouted angrily as his black hair went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Broken Dreams. He was wearing black baggy pants, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die (intentional typo). (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik get it instead of "tie" cause I'm gothic) I was wearing a black leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a black leather mini, black high heeled boots and a cross belly ring. My hair was all up in a messy really high bun like Amy Lee in Going Under. (email me if u wana see da pik email me if you want to see the pic)

"Excuse me? What about me!" I growled.

"But-but-but-" he grunted.

"You funking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it funking looks like!" he shouted.

But it was too late. I knew what I heard. I ran to the bathroom angrily, crying. Draco banged on the door. I wept and wept as my bloody eyeliner streamed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my face like Benji in the video for Girls and Boys (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOK OUT A CIGARETTE AND STARTED TO smoke pot.

Suddenly Hagrid came. He had apparated.

"You gave me a funking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "WTF do you think you're doing in the girl's room?"

Only it wasn't just Hagrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it to be Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumbledore.

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wannabe-gothic purse. "What are you wearing to the concert?"

"You know who MCR are!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert that a lot of goths and punks were going to." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for you."

Chapter 20.

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.

AN: I said I don't care what you think! stop flaming okay preps! thanks to raven for the help! oh yeah BTW I'll be on vacation in Transylvania for the next three days so don't expect updates.


All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I put on a black leather mini, a black corset with purple lace stuff all over it, and black gothic combat boots. MCR were going to do the concert again, since Voldemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on some black clothes and moshing to Thank You For The Venom. I got all mad and turned it off, but secretly I hoped inside that it was Draco so we could do it again.

"What the funking hell are you doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Lupin! "Are you going to come rape me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say that because Dumbledore had told us all to be careful around him and Snape since he was a pedo.

"No, acts-hell-y (intentional typo; hyphens by me) (geddit, hell get it, hell) can I please borrow some condoms." he growled angrily.

"Yeah, so you can funk your six-year-old girlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarcastically.

"Funker." He said, going away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Then I gasped….Snape and Lupin were in the middle of the empty hall, doing it, and Dobby was watching!

"Oh my god you ludicrous idiot!" they both shouted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. They got up, though. Normally I would have been turned on (I love seeing guys do it) but both of them were funking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now BTW Snape is moved to Gryffindor now)

"WTF is that why you wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat see I spelled that)

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lupin shouted angrily.

"Well you should have told me." I replied.

"You dimwit!." Snape began to shout angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a picture of them. You could see that they were naked and everything.

"Well excuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was that all about?"

"It was to blackmail you." I snarled. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you can't funking rat me out or I'll show this to Dumbledore. So funk off, you bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wand at them and they tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely funking hot.

"WTF where's Draco?" I asked him.

"Oh he's being a funking bastard. He told me he wouldn't come." Vampire said shaking his head. "You want to come with me? To the concert?"

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his godfather Sirius Black had given it to him. The license plate on the front said MCR666 on it. The one on the back said 'EBONY' on it.

….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began to make out, moshing to the music. I gasped, looking at the band.

I almost had an orgasm. Gerard was so funking hot! He began to sing 'Helena' and his sexy beautiful voice began to fill the hall. ….And then, I heard someone crying. I turned and saw Draco, crying in a corner.

Chapter 21.

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!

AN: funk you okay! you funking suck. It's not my fault if it's spelled wrong okay cause that bitch raven cause it funk you preps! whoops sorry raven thanks for the help. BTW Transylvania rocks hard! I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed!


Later we all went in the school. Draco was crying in the common room. "Draco are you okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.

"No I'm not you funking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cause I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"Its okay Ebony." said Vampire comfortingly. "I'll make him feel better."

"You mean you'll go funk him won't you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran to get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pale face. I was so turned on cause I love sensitive bi guys. (if ur a homophone den fuk of! if you're a homophobe then funk off!)

And then….. we heard some footsteps! Vampire got out his black invisibility cloak. We both got under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHO'S THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filch come. He went under the invisibility cloak and started to meow loudly.

"IS ANYONE THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.

"No funk you you preppy little poser son of a funking bitch!" Vampire said under his breath in a disgusted way.

"EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME WHO SAID THAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Then he heard Filch meow. "Filch is there anyone under the cloak!" he asked. Filch nodded. And then….Vampire frenched me! He did it just as….. Mr. Norris was taking off the cloak!

"WHAT THE-" he yelled but it was too late cause now we were running away from him. And then we saw Draco crying and bursting into tears and slitting his wrists outside of the school.

"Draco!" I cried. "Are you okay?"

"I guess though." Draco wept. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin see isn't that depressing) on the gothic red bed together. As I was about to put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knock on the door and Fudge and the Minister of Magic walked into the school!

Chapter 22.

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1

AN: STFU! preps stop flaming okay if you don't like it funk off I know it's Mr. Norris it's raven's fault okay! you suck! no just kidding raven you funking rock preps suck!


All day everyone talked about the Ministry of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing black lacy leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where…. B'loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!

I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wore a black poofy skirt with lace on it and black gothic boots that w attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and black jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just like Gerard Way, and almost as funking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her cleavage with a white apron that said 'bitch' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was wearing a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crabbe and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crabbe and Goyle's dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became gothic and converted to Satanism.

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the funk are yu all here?"

"Ebony something is really funked up." Draco said.

"OK but I need to put my funking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. You're so funking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective (secretive?)."

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hall and looked in from a widow. A funking prep called Britney from Gryffindor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledore. Cornelius Fudge was there shouting at Dumbledore. Delores Umbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"



"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "But we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…..Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."

Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped.

Chapter 23.

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

AN: shut the funk up bitches! you're just jealous cause I got 10,000 reviews! thanks to raven for help and telling me about the books girl you rock let's go shopping together!


The door opened and Professor Umbridge and Cornelius Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledore and Umbridge saw us.

"MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Umbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore glared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrected her. "She means hi everybody come in!"

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crabbe and Goyle started to make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I ate some Count Chocula and drank some blood from a cup. Then I heard someone shouting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shouting at each other.

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"You funking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to sit next to her!"

"No I do!" [Vampire] shouted.

"No she doesn't funking like you, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No funk you motherfunker she loves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv no not in that way you perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Dumbledore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew through fell apart. Britney that funking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. The room fell silent….Voldemort!

"Ebony…..Ebony…." Darth Vader said evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou have failed your mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!"

"Please don't make me kill him please!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed cruelly. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

I burst into tears. Draco and Vampire came to comfort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision where I saw some lightning flash and then Voldemort coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I looked up and stopped having the vision.

"Ebony Ebony are you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everything's all right Ebony." said Vampire all sensitive.

"No it's not!" I shouted angrily. Tears of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in The Ring 2!"

"It's okay girl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe you should ask Professor Sinister about what the visions mean though."

"Okay bitch." I said sadly and then we went.

Chapter 24.

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!

AN: preps stop flaming the story you're just jealous so funk you okay go to hell! raven thanks for the help!

Trevolry and Sinister are always respelled like that by me.


Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Professor Trevolry about the visions.

"Konichiwa everybody come in." said Profesor Sinister in Japanese. She smiled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's the coolest funking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b'loody mry get along grate her mom was a vampire. She's also half Japanese so she speaks it and everything. She and b'loody mary get along great) She's really young for a teacher. Today she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long gothic black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with posters of Emily the Strong. I raised my hand. I was wearing some black nail Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love your nail polish where'd you get it, Hot Topic?"

"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some things. When do you want to do it?"

"How about now?" she asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class funking dismissed everyone." Professor Trevolry said and she let everyone go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and some other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit get it) 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lots of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco going to die.

Well she gave me a black crystal ball to look in. I looked at it.

"What do you see?" she asked.

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather jacket, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and black Congress shoes.

"Okay you can go now, see ya c**t." said Professor Sinister. (censorship mine)

"Bye bitch." I said waving.

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so excited.

Chapter 25.

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1

AN: stop flaming okay if you don't then I'll tell Justin to beat you up! and I'll tell all the nerds to put viruses in your computer! FUNK YOU! Raven thanks for the help!


I was so excited. I followed Draco wondering if we were going to do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.

"Ebony what the funk did Professor Trevolry say." whispered Draco putting his gothic white hand with black nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant tomorrow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR. (I have no knowledge of heroin, so I can't speak for the spelling of "cabaret", "spiked", and "spork".)

"And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever going to haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started taking off each other's clothes fervently. He took off my black thong and my black leather bra. I took off his black boxers. Then… he put his throbbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgasm. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two gothic men with long black hair.

"No! Please don't funking kill us!" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

"No! Oh my funking god!" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his black Linkin Park mobile. But the worst thing was who the people who were shot in the dream were… Lucius and Sirius!

Chapter 26.

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11

AN: PREPS STOP FLAMING THE STORY OKAY! if you don't like the story then go funk yourself you funking prep! YOU SUCK! oh yeah and I wasn't being racist okay!


A few minutes later Vampire came to the tree. He was wearing a black leather jacket, black leather pants and a Good Charlotte t-shirt.

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob. Draco hugged me sexily trying to comfort me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

"Oh funk it!" Vampire shouted angrily. He started to cry sadly. "What funking dick did that!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have to tell Dumbledore."

We ran out of the tree and into the castle. Dumbledore was sitting in his office.

"Sir our dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wiped some tears from his white face. "Ebony had a vision in a dream."

Dumbledore started to cackle. "Hahahaha! And how do you expect me to know Ebony's not delusional?"

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfunker." I said angrily as Dumbledore gasped (c is da toot of crakter see is that out of character). "You know very well that I'm not delusional. Now get some funking people out there to look for Sirus and Lucius- pronto!"

"Okay." he said in an intimidated voice. "Where are they?"

I thought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "London." I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few minutes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurse's office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other's gothic, depressed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Sirius and Lucius came in on stretchers….and Professor Sinister was behind them!

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u vampires will never hurt you

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

AN: you know what! I don't give a funk what you preps think about me! so stop flaming the funking story bitches! thanks to raven for your love and support and help I love you girl sorries I couldn't update lol I was really depressed and I slit my wrists I had to go the the hospital raven you rock girl!


Everyone in the room started to cry happily- I had saved them. Draco, Lucius, Sirius bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Come on Ebony." said Professor Sinister. She was wearing a gothic black leather dress with a corset top and real vampire blood on it and funking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the funking perdition."

I looked at Lucius, Sirius, Draco and Vampire. They nodded.

I smiled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Professor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said… "Tara,I see dark times are near." She said badly. She peered into the ball. "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Turner like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemort was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he got his heart broken. Now do you think he would still become Voldemort if he was in love?" I shook my head. "You must go back in time and seduce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did death's touch sign. I went outside again sadly.

"What funking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire.

"Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and B'loody Mary?

I was about to tell them but everyone was there. They were celebrating Lucius and Sirius being found. Everyone was proud of me but I just wanted to talk to Draco. They were cheeringmy name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumbledore. A banner was put up. Lots of funking preps were there obviously trying to be gothic wearing the HIM sign on their hands- despite them not having actually heard of him. Even Mr. Norris looked happy. A black and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyle set up some fireworks in the shape of skulls from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

I put on my Invisibility cloak with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside together.

Chapter 28.

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111

AN: I said stop flaming the story it was a mistake when professor trevolry said that okay! GO TO FUNKING HELL! YOU SUCK! thanks to fily for the help! raven have fun with kiwi!


We went into a black room. The walls were black with portraits of gothic bands like MCR, GC and Marilyn Manson all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red velvet lined the black box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skulls in them. I was wearing a black corset bra with purple stuff on it, fishnet stockings and a black leather thong underneath.

I sat down one of the chairs despairingly. So did Draco and Vampire.

"Are you okay?" Vampire asked putting his alabaster hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing black nail polish with red crosses on it.

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Draco also put his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my black lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Voldemort. I'll have to go back in time"

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.

"It's okay Ebony." he said finally. "But what about me? You're not gonna break up or anything, are you?"

"Of course not!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then… I took off Draco's MCR shirt and seductively took off his pants. He was hung like a stallion. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Ebony on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He looked exactly like Gerard Way. Vampire took a video camera. (I had said it was okay before).

I took off my clothes then we were in for the ride of our life.

We started frenching as we climbed into the coffin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

"I love you Ebony. Oh let me feel you I need to feel you." he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly….


It was….Snape and Professor McGonagall!

Chapter 29.

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

AN: shut the funk up! you're just jealous cause you're preps so funk you! raven you rock gurl thanks for the help MCR ROX 666!


"Oh my satan!" we screamed as we jumped out of the coffin. Snape and Professor McGonagall started to shout at us angrily.

"COME NOW!" Preacher McGonagall yelled. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snape grabbed the camera and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the funk!" Vampire shouted angrily.

"Yeah buster what the funk are you going to do with the funking camera?" Draco demanded all protective, looking at me longingly with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumbledore knows your little secret and if you do this again, then you will go to St Mungo's. So give back the camera!"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Magic thinks he is crazy there is no way they will believe him. Snape laughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mouth you insolent fools!" yelled Profesor McGonagall. She made us come into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these weird tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111 get it cause he's a sexbomb lol tom felton rules for life but not as much as gerard you're sex on legs I love you you funking rock marry me!).

I started to cry tears of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1 it happens in vampire chronicles raven said so okay so funk you!). Vampire took out a black handkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then….. he and Snape both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. None of the bullets got on each other yet. I took out my wand.

"Crucio!" I shouted. Snape started to scream he dropped the gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of bullets. I STOPPED THE CURSE. Professor McGonagall did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Then she said "Okay Severus I'm going to go now." She left. Snape started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

"It's okay Ebony." said Draco. "Everything will be all right. Remember the video you took of Snape."

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!

Chapter 30.

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

AN: stop flaming the story okay you don't know what's even gonna happen okay! so FUNK YOU! if you flame you will be a prep so all flamers can kiss my ass! sorry for sorry for saying Alzheimer's is dangerous but that's the ministry's opinion cause society basically sucks. thanks to raven you rock bitch!


"No!" we screamed sadly. Snape started laughing meanly. He took out a camera anvilly (evilly? angrily?). Then… he came towards Draco! He took some stones out of his pocket. He put the stones around Draco and lit a candle.

"What the funk are you doing!" I shouted angrily. Snape laughed meanly. He pulled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-what!

He waved his wand and a knife came. He gave the knife to me.

"You must stab Vampire." he said to me. "If you don't then I'll rape Draco!"

"No you funking bastard!" I yelled.

But then Draco looked at me sadly with his evil gothic red eyes that looked so depressing and sexy. He looked exactly like a pentagram (lol geddit koz im a satanist lol get it cause I'm a Satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too with his gothic black hair. I thought of the time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumbledore came and the time where Draco almost committed suicide and Vampire was so supportive.

Snape laughed angrily. He started to pray to Voldemort. He started to do an incantation dancing around the stones whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I closed my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathic massage to Draco and Vampire so they would distract Snape.

"Dumbledore will get you!" Draco shouted.

"You just wait until the Mystery find out!" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.

"You ridiculous dunderhead!" Snape yelled. He took off all of Draco's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him….

"Crucio!" I shouted pointing my wand. Snape screamed and started running around the room screaming. Meanwhile I grabbed my black mobile and sent a text to Sirius. I stopped doing crucio.

"You dunderhead! I'm going to kill-" shouted Snape but suddenly Severus came.

Snape put the whip behind his back. "Oh hello Sev I was just teaching them something." he lied. But suddenly Lucius and Professor Trevolry came into the room and they and Sirius unlocked the chains and put them around Snape. Then Professor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go."

Chapter 31.

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111

AN: I said shut the funk up you [?]! stop calling Ebony a Mary Sue okay you don't even know what's going to happen okay so funk you! thanks to my BFF raven for the help!


"I always knew you were on Voldemort's side, you son of a bitch (bufy rox!111 buffy rocks!)." Sirius said to Snape.

"No I'm not I was teaching them something!" Snape claimed.

"Oh funking yeah?" I took some black Voldemortserum out of my pocket and gave it to Severus. He made Snape drink it. He did angrily. Then Lucius took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snape. Then Professor Sinister and Lucius made us get out with them while Snape told his secrets. Lucius took Vampire and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a million times. Professor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I was going to go back in time to seduce Voldemort. Moving posters of MCR and Nirvana were all over. Hermione, Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a black bag from Tom Riddle's store.

"What's in the bag?" I asked Professor Trevolry.

"You will see." she said. I opened the bag. In it was a sexy tight low-cut black leather gothic dress. It had red corset stuff and there was a slit up the leg. I put it on. My friends helped me put on black fishnets and black pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blood-red lipstick.

"You look funking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said.

"Thanks." I said.

"Okay now you're going to go back in time." said Professor Sinister. "You will have to do it in a few sessions." She gave me a black gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnets like in Resident Evil. Then she gave me a black time-turner. "After an hour use the time turner to go back here." Professor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensieve in front of me. Everyone went in front of it.

"Good luck!" Everyone shouted. Darkness and Willow gave me death's touch sign. Then….. I jumped sexily into the Pensieve.

Suddenly I was in front of the School. In front of me was one of the sexiest goth guys I had ever seen. He was wearing long black hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had green eyes like Billie Joe Armstrong and pale white skin. He was wearing a black ripped up suit with Vans. It was….Tom Bombadil!

Chapter 32.

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

AN: I said stop flaming I know his name isn't Tom Bombadil that was a mistake! if you don't like the story then you can go screw yourself! YOU SUCK!


"Hi." I said flirtily. "I'm Ebony Way the new student." I shook my pale hands with their black nail polish with him.

"The name's Tom." he said. "But you can call me Satan. That's my middle name"

We shook hands. "Well come on we have to go upstairs." Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan…..do you happen to be a fan of Green Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den since MCR and Evanescence don't exist yet then) I asked.

"Oh my funking god, how did you know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s get it cause GC did that song "I Just Wanna Live" that sounded really 80s)

"OMG me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered.

"hogsment?" I asked.

"yeah that's what they used to call it in this time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." he told me all secretively. "and there's a really cool shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finished, happy again.

He frowned confusedly. "no its called Hot Issue." He smiled secretively again. "then in 1998 they changed it to hot topic." he moaned.

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is dumbledore your principal?" I shouted.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "i'm in slytherin'"


"You go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik get it cause I'm gothic) he asked.

"yeah that's why i'm here i'm NEW." I SMILED HAPPily.

Suddenly dumbledore flew in on his broomstick and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from American eagle outfitters. "STUPID GOTHS!"

satan rolled his eyes. "He's so mean to us goths and punks just because we're in slytherin and we're not preps."

I turned around angrily. "actually I think maybe its because you're the bark lord."

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

"oh nothing." I said sweetly.

then suddenly…. the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FELL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."

"hey where are you going?" satan asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole and it was back in the pensieve in professor trevolry's classroom. dumbledore was there. "dumbledore I think I just met you." I said.

"oh yeah I remember that." dumbledore said, trying to be all gothic.

sinister came in. "hey this is my classroom wait wtf Ebony what the hell are you doing?"

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot about that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but she's a goth so its okay.

professor sinister looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum." she started to cry black tears of depression. dumbledore didn't know about them.

"hey are you crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, touching a tear.

"funk off!" we both said and dumbledore took his hand away.

professor sinister started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "omfg Ebony…I think i'm addicted to Voldemortserum."



Chapter 33.

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1

AN: I said shut up it's not my fault okay if you don't like they story then you're a prep so funk you flamers! PS I'm not updating until you give me five good reviews and this time I mean it! YOU SUCK! thanks raven for the help I'll promise to help you with your story lolz


"Oh my funking god!1" I shouted sadly. "Should we get you to St Mungo's, bitch?"

"Hell no!" she said. "Listen Ebony, I need your help. Next time you go back in time, do you think you could ask Tom Anderson for some help?"

"Sure" I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there! He was wearing a big black GC t-shirt which was his panamas.

"Hey Sexy." I said.

"How'd it go Ebony?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when he's talking.

"Fine." I responded. We started to go back into the dorm.

"How far did you go with Satan?" Draco asked jealously.

"Not too far, lol." I barked.

"Will you have to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

"I hope not too far!" I shouted angrily. Then I felt bad for shouting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

"What happened to Snape?" I growled.

"You will see." Draco giggled mysteriously. He opened a door…Snape and Lupin were there! Sirius was torturing them by stabbing them with a black knife.

"NOOOO PLEASE!" Lupin begged as Sirius started to suck his blood. I laughed sadistically. I took some photos of him and Snape being tortured. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz okay I know this is mean but think about it people they are pedos and Snape tried to rape them and anyway sadists rock has anyone seen shark attack 3 lolz). We took some of Snape's blood then Draco and I went back to our rooms. We sat on my gothic black coffin. My clothes were kinda dirty so I put on a black leather outfit thingy kinda like the one Suelene (?) has in Underworld. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111 if you haven't heard of it then FUNK YOU!) . I put on some black platform high heels. Draco put on 'desolition liverz' (?) by MCR. Den….we started to take off each other's clothes. I took off his shirt and he had a six-pack, lolz. We started to make out like in The Grudge. He put his wetness in my you-know-what sexily. I got an orgy.

"Oh Draco! Oh my funking god Draco!" I screamed passively as he got an eructation.

"I love you Ebony." he whispered sexily and then we fell asleep lol.

Chapter 34.

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1

AN: SHUT THE FUNK UP PREPS! have you even read the story! you are probably all just preps and posers so FUNK YOU! thanks to raven for the help!


I woke up in the coffin the next day. Draco was gone. I got up and put on a black tight sexy dress that was all ripped at the end. There was red corset stuff going up the front and the back and it came up to my knees. There was a slit in the dress like in mr & mr smith. I put on ripped black fishnets and black stiletto boots. Suddenly…. Sirius knocked on the door. I opened it.

"Hi Ebony." he said. "Guess what you have to come to Professor Sinister's office."

"Okay." I said in a depressed voice. I had wanted to funk Draco or maybe listen to MCR or Evanescence. I came anyway.

"So what the funk happened to Snape and Lupin?" I asked Sirius flirtily.

"I funking tortured them." he answered in a sadistic way. "They are in Azkaban now, lol."

I laughed evilly.

"Where are Draco and Vampire?" I muttered.

"They are excused from school today." Sirius moaned sexily. "Right now they are watching The Nightmare before Christmas."

We went into the office. Professor Sinister was there. She was wearing a gothic black dress that was all ripped all over it kinda like the one Amy Lee wears in this pic

( http/ She was drinking some Voldemortserum.

She took out the Pensieve and the time-turner.

"Ebony, you will have to do another session now. Also I need you to get me the cure for being addicted." she said sadly. "Good luck. Thanks!"

And then….I jumped into the Pensieve again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in the Great Hall eating Count Chocula. It was morning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gothic man with long black hair, pale skin and blue eyes wearing a suit and black Converse shoes. He looked just like Marilyn Manson. I noticed…he was drinking a potion.

"Who's he!" I asked.

"Oh, that's Professor Slughorn." Satan said. "He's the Potions teacher…..Ebony?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Did you know that Marilyn Manson is playing in Hogsmeade tonight? And they are showing The Exercise at the movies before that."


"Well…...want to go to the concert and the movie with me?"

Chapter 35. ghost of you

AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.

AN: thanks to suzi for the idea! you rock! funk off preps! thanks to raven for the help you rock girl! PS I'm going to end the story really soon so FUNK YOU! oh yeah and if you know any gothic names please tell me cause I need one for Sirius! thanks.


I went into the Common Room thinking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped…..Draco was there!

I gasped. He looked as hot as ever wearing black leather pants, a black Linkin Park t-shirt and black eyeliner.

"Draco what the funk are you doing!" I gasped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembered. It wasn't Draco. It was Lucius! He still had two arms.

"Oh hi Lucius!" I said. "I'm Ebony the new student lol we shook hands."

"Yeah Satan told me about you." Lucius said. He pointed to a group of sexy gothic guys. They were sitting in a corner cutting. It was Sirius, Vampire's dad and…Snape! All of them were wearing black eyeliner and black Good Charlotte band shirts. "Listen I'm in a goth band with those guys." he said. "We're playing tonight at the Marilyn Manson show as back-up.


"Yeah." he said. "We're called XBlackXTearX. I play the guitar. Spartacus plays the drums" he said pointing to him. "Snape plays the bass. And James plays the guitar too even though we call him Samaro, after Samara in the ring."

"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Death's touch sign. Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't you have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucius looked down sadly.

"We used to but she died. She committed suicide by slitting her wrists."

"Oh my funking god! That's so funking sad!" I gasped.

"It's okay but we need a new lead singer." Samaro said.

"Well…..I said I'm in a band myself."

"Really?" asked Snape. I couldn't believe it. He used to be gothic!

"Yeah we're called Bloody Gothic Rose 666. Do you wanna hear me sing?"

Yeah said everyone. So the guys took out their guitars. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11 get it cause bi guys are sooo sexy!) Green Day.

"I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams." I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song I don't own the lyrics to that song).. Everyone gasped.

"Ebony? Will you join the band? Please!" begged Lucius, Samaro, Sirius and Snape.

"Um….okay." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?"

"Yeah." they said.

"Okay." I said but I knew that I had to get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I could go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in front of me. It was…..Marty McFly! He was wearing a black band t-shirt and black baggy jeans.

"What the hell are you doing here!" I asked.

"I will help you go forward in time Ebony." he said seriously. Then….he took out a black time machine. I went into it and…..suddenly I was forward in time!

Chapter 36.

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111

AN: I said stop flaming okay! I bet you are all probably old seventy year olds! PS POTTERSUES [my best guess] YOU'RE A PREP! oh yeah and thanks to raven for the help! have fun in England girl!


I looked around in a depressed way. Suddenly I saw Professor Sinister. B'loody Mary, Socrates and Draco, Vampire and Willow were there too.

"OMFG Sirius I saw you and Samaro and Snape and everyone! I can't believe Snape used to be gothic!"

"Yeah I know." Sirius said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Professor Trevolry said in an emo voice drinking some Voldemortserum.

Hi funker." I said. "Listen, Satan asked me out to a gothic cornet and a movie so I need a sexy new outfit for the date. Also I'm playing in a gothic band so I need an outfit for that too."

"Oh my satan!" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik get it lolz cause she's gothic) gasped B'loody Mary. "Want to go to Hot Topic to shop for your outfit?"

"OMFS, let's have a group cutting session!" said Professor Trevolry.

"I can't funking wait for that but we need to get some stuff first." said Willow.

"Yeah we need some potions for Professor Trevolry so she won't be addicted to Voldemortserum anymore and also….some love potion for Ebony." Draco said reluctantly.

"Well we have potions class now." Willow said so let's go.

We went sexily to Potions class. But Snape wasn't there. Instead there was…Cornelius Fudge!

"Hey where the funk is Dumbledore!" Draco shouted angrily.

"STFU!" shouted Cornelius Fudge. "He is in Azkaban now with Snape and Lupin he is old and weak he has cancer. "Now do your work!"

My friends and I talked angrily.

"Can you BELIEVE Snape used to be gothic!" Vampire asked surprisedly.


He stomped out angrily.

My friends and I began talking again. I began to drink some blood mixed with beer. Suddenly I saw Hagrid in the cupboard.

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He was wearing tons of eyeliner and he looked sexier then ever. Suddenly…"Hagrid WHAT THE FUNK ARE YOU DOING!" he shouted.

I looked around….Hagrid was putting something in my glass of blood! Draco and Vampire started to beat him up sexily.

"God you are such a poser!" I shouted at Hagrid. Suddenly I looked at what he was putting in the blood. It was…Amnesia Potion!

Chapter 37.

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

AN: OKAY EVERYBODY I'M GOING ON VACATION ON THE FIRST OF JULY SO I'M EITHER GONNA END THE FIC OR UPDATE IT IN WEEKS. Thanks! oh yeah and preps stop flaming the story! raven thank for the help see ya girl after vacation!



Vampire and I chained Hagrid to the floor.

"Oh my funking satan!" Ebony said. She was so hot. "Maybe I could use Amnesia potion to make Satan fall in love with me faster!"

"But you are so sexy and wonderful anyway Ebony," said Vampire. "Why would you need it?"

"To make everything go faster lol." said Ebony.

"But you won't have to do it with him or anything, will you?" I asked jealously.

"OMFG you guys are so scary!" said Britney, a funking prep.

"Shut the funk up!" said Willow.

"Okay well anyway let's go to Professor Trevolry's room."

Draco, Ebony and I went to Professor Sinister's room. But Professor Sinister wasn't there. Instead Tom Rid was.

Oh hi funkers he said. Listen, I got you some cool new clothes.

I took out the clothes from the bag. It was a gothic black leather miniskirt that said '666' on the back, black stiletto boots, blood red fishnets and a black corset.

"OMG thanks!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took the clothes in the bag.

"OK Professor Sinister isn't here what the funk should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he looked at a sign on the black wall.

"Oh my funking satan!" I screamed as I read it. On it said Everyone Professor Sinister is away. She is too gothic she is in Azkaban now. Classes shall be taught by Dumbledore who is back but he shall not be principal for now. Sincerely Professor Umbridge.

"OMFG!" I shouted angrily. "How could they do that!"

Suddenly Dumbledore came.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY OFFICE!" he began to shout angrily. Suddenly I saw Marty McFly's black time machine! I jumped seductively into it leaving Draco and Vampire. Suddenly I was back in time! I looked around. It was…Professor Slughorn's office! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw the Amnesia potion on his desk. It was black with blood-red pentagrams in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my pocket. Suddenly the door opened it was…..Professor Slughorn!

OMG what are you doing funker he shouted angrily I don't know what the funk are you DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

"Oh sorry I was just looking around cause I thought it was class." you said finally hoping he couldn't see the potion in your pocket.

"Oh okay you can go now." said Professor Slughorn.

You went to the common room after putting on my clothes. Silas, Samaro and Snape were there practicing Vampires Will Never Hurt You by MCR.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Where's Satan?"

"Oh he's coming." said Sirius. "BTW you can call me Hades now." Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexy black leather Jacket, black converse shoes, a Slipknot t-shirt and a black tie.

"Okay I will see you guys at the concert." I said and then I went with Satan.

Chapter 38.

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

AN: what does everyone think if I end the story and then I add some more to it after vacation? oh yeah and preps stop flaming if you don't like that story then take my quiz okay then u will see if your gothic or not!


Satan and I walked to his car. It was a black car with pentagrams all over it. On the license plate said 666 just like Draco's car. I went in it seductively. Satan started to drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan lolz he was named after Satan), cutting, music and being gothic.

"Oh my satan, Gerard is so funking hot!" Voldemort agreed as we smoked some weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy cause bi guys are hot they are so sensitive I love them lol goes funks a bi guy)

"Lol, I totally decided not to commit suicide when I herd Helena." I said in a flirty voice. "….Hey Satan do you know the cure for when people are addicted to Voldemortserum?"

"Well…" he thought. "I think you have to drink Vampire blood."

Suddenly Voldemort parked the car behind a black movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went into the movie tether were they were showing the Exorcist. In it a boy and a girl were doing it suddenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at the blood cause we're sadists.

While Satan was watching the movie, I had an idea. I took Satan's gothic black Nightmare before Christmas cigar sexily from his pocket and put some Amnesia potion in it. I put it back in his black Emily the Strange bag. Satan turned around and started to smoke it. Black clouds with red pentagrams in them started to fly around everywhere.

"OMG!" Satan said jumping up. I gasped cause I was afraid he'd noticed. "Ebony guess what?"

I knew that the amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." He said. "Too bad cause I wanted to use some on you."

"Cool." I raised my eye suggestively. And then…. he took of my clothes sexily and we started to make out. I took of his shirt. He had six-pack just like Gerard Way! We frenched.

"Excuse me but you are going to have to leave!" shouted the lady behind us she was a prep.

"Funk you!" I said. Suddenly…. I attacked her sucking all her blood.

"Noooooo!" she screamed. All the preps in the theater screamed but everyone else clapped cause Satan and I looked so cute together. Satan and I started to walk outside.

"Zomg how did you do that?" Voldemort asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car.

"Seriously?" he gasped.

"Yeah seriously." I said drinking some beer. Satan started to drive the car. I smiled happily.

"It's too bad we didn't get to see the rest of the movie, don't you think?"

"Yeah." I said as we kissed passively. Satan parked in a black driveway next to the place where Draco and I had watched GC for the first time. We went inside where Marilyn Manson was playing and started to mosh lol.

"Anti-people now you've gone too far Jesus Christ Superstar!" screamed Marilyn on the stage. We did the devil fingers. I started to dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay! He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgasm! Suddenly Marilyn Manson stopped singing.

"I would like to present…..XBlackXTearX!" he said. I ran onstage. Lucius, Samaro, Snape and Hades were there. They started to play their instruments. I got onstage.

"Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say!" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song I don't own the lyrics to that song)My voice sounded like a pentagram between Amy Lee and a girl version of Gerard Way. Everyone clapped. Satan got an eructation. "I'M NOT OKAY!" I sang finally. Suddenly Lucius started playing the song wrong by mistake.

"OMFG!" yelled James. "What the funk?"

"Whoops I'm sorry!" said Lucius.

"You funking asshole!" James shouted angrily.

"You guys are such preps!" Snape said. "Come on it was a mistake!"

"Yeah it's not his fault!" said Sirius.

"No he ruined the funking song!" yelled Samaro.

"You guys stop!" I shouted angrily but it was too late. They all began to fight. Suddenly Samaro took out his knife.

"OMFG no!" shouted Lucius but it was too late James tried too shoot off his arm.

And then…I jumped sexily in front of the bullet!

"No!" yelled everyone but it was too late suddenly everything went black.

Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz

I shall leave the "troll's" part of this chapter entirely as it was written, with no edits to the misspellings.

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN/ I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing british vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.


Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Ebony supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN/ Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:

I here provide you with the non-respelled text of Chapter 40. Good luck getting through it.

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111


I woke up in da Norse's offace on a special gothik coffin. Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual.

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Volxemort? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B'lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Enoby ur alive!111" Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B'lody Mary.

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.

"Enoby u were almost shot!11" said Serious. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time."

"But fangz anyway!1" said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den." said James.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Serious said sadly. "He wuz really a Death Dealer."

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11" said Lucian. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him." Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally.

"No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally. Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11" said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake's.

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.


An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P

A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains.

Chapter 40. LOL! Someone has taken my account over!

THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well... this was in the doc area... might as well let the whole world see what the real Tara wanted to show us... Have a nice day!

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

AN: stfu preps get a life! YOU SUCK! oh and from now on I'll be on vacation in England until like August so I won't be able to update for a while, lolz. thanks to everyone who reviewed except the preps who flamed FUNK YOU! MCR RULES 666!


I woke up in the Nurse's office in a special gothic coffin. Hagrid was in the bed opposite me in a coma cause Vampire and Draco had beat him up. Mr. Norris was cleaning the room.

"Oh my satan what happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Voldemort came. He looked less mean then usual.

"Get the funk out you funking bastard!" I yelled.

"Thou hath not killed Vampire yet!" he said angrily. Suddenly he started to cry tears of blood all selective.

"Voldemort? OMFG what's wrong!" I asked.

Suddenly…. Lucius, Professor Sinister and Sirius came! B'loody Mary and Vampire were with them. Everyone was holding black boxes. VOLDEMORT DISAPPEARED.

"OMFG Ebony you're alive!" Screamed Vampire. I hugged him and B'loody Mary.

"What the funk happened?" I asked them. "Oh my satan! Am I like dead now?" I gasped.

"Ebony you were almost shot!" said Sirius. "But the bullet could not kill you since you were from another time."

"But thanks anyway!" said Lucius holding out his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OMG I cant believe Vampire's dad shot you!" I gasped.

"Well to be honest Snape was possessed by Snape back then." said James.

"Yeah he was a spy." Serious said sadly. "He was really a Death Dealer."

"And he was such a funking poser too!" said Lucius. "He didn't even really know who GC were until I told him." Well anyway everyone started to give me presents. I was opening a black box with red 666s (there was a dvd of corpse bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Norris looked up angrily cause he hated goths.

"Hey has anyone funking seen Draco?" I asked gothically.

"No Draco told me he would be watching House of Wax." said Professor Trevolry. "He doesn't know that you're better. Anyway the nurse said you could get up. Come on!"

I got up suicidally. Lucius, Sirius and Professor Sinister left. I was wearing a black leather nightgown. Under that I had on a sexy black leather bra trimmed with black lace, with a matching thong that said gothic girl on the butt and sexy fishnets that kinda hooked onto my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u if you don't get the idea message me I'll tell you). I put on a black fishnet top under a black MCR t-shirt, a black leather mini with black lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings with B'loody Mary, Willow and Vampire.

"OMFG let's celebrate!" gasped Willow.

"We can go see House of Wax with Draco!" giggled Vampire.

"Let's go listen to GC and cut ourselves 666!" said Hermione. We opened the common room door sexily. And then…..I gasped… Draco was there doing it with Snape! He was wearing a black t-shirt with 666 on the front and baggy jeans.

"You funking prep!" we all yelled angrily.

"Yeah you betrayed us!" shouted Vampire angrily as he took out his black gun.

"No you don't understand!" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snape's.

"No shit you funking suck you preppy bastard!" said Willow trying to attack him (u rok girl!1 you rock girl!). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.

She actually spelled an entire sentence right. "I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out." I know she meant "stake", not "steak," but she spelled a sentence right. I'm flabbergasted.

"Ebony no!" screamed Draco but it was too late I had slit my wrists with it suddenly everything went black again.


Idiot's Note (the troll): Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus...


Chapter 41.

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.

AN: To everyone who keeps flaming this GET A LIFE! I bet you probably don't know who Gerard Way is you're probably all preps and posers! anyway someone hacked into my account in November and they put up my last chapter but now there is a new one. I'm sorry for not updating for a while but I've been really busy. I'm trying to finish the story before the new movie comes out. I'm going on vacation for a month I won't be back until about two weeks. OMFG Draco is so hot in all the pics for the new movie! I wanted them to put a cameo by Gerard Way lol he should play Draco. If you flame I'll slit my wrists! raven you rock girl have fun in England.


When I woke up I was in a strange room. I looked around I was wearing the same outfit I had when I performed with XBlackXTearX! I looked around confusedly. It was the Nurse's office but it looked different! On the wall was a pic of Marilyn Manson! (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr just imagine that he is an eighties gothic band too okay cause he is more old than panic? At the disco or mcr) there was also a gothic black Beatles calender with a picture of the beatles werring eyeliner and black clothes. On it said '1980.'

"OMFG! I'm back in Time again!" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss! this is actually voldemort for photo references!). Voldemort was wearing a black leather Jacket, black tight jeans and fishnet pants. He looked so sexy I almost had an orgy!

"OMFG Ebony are you ok." He asked gothically.

"Yah I'm okay for your information." I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dead?" cause I remembered I had jumped in front of the bullet from James' gun. I also remembered seeing Draco doing it with Snape!

I guessed that when I had slit my wrists I had went back in time instead of dying. I knew I could go forward in time if I found a time-turner or the time machine.

"No your not dead." Satan reassured suicidally as he smoked a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. "Your a vampire so you can't die from a bullet. Come on now let's go see how Harry's dad is doing." (oh, so now he's Harry and not Vampire?)

I knew that the real reason I didn't die from the ballet was cause I was from the future. "WTF! James (not Samaro?) almost shot Lucius!" I said indignantly. I knew that James had really been possessed, but I didn't want him to know I knew.

"Yah I know but he had a headache he was under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly.

"I guess that's okay." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucius. Also I knew that Lucius would now have two arms instead of one. I walked seductively outside with Satan. Suddenly I saw a totally sexy gothic bi guy! He had bleached blond hair with black streaks up to his ears and he was wearing gothic black eyeliner, a black Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel with blond hair since it was the eighties), black congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexily like Gerard way in the video for I Don't love you like I did yesterday and you could see a black tear on his face like the [woman/women] in that video. "Hey." He said all quietly and gothically.

"Who the funk is that?" I asked angrily cause I did not know him.

"This is…Hedwig!" Said Voldemort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX too but he had to drop out cause he broke his arm.

"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively even though I was not trying to be.

"Lol hi Ebony." He answered but then he ran away because he had care of magical creatures. He was humming Welcome to the Black Parade under his breath( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok! I know that is not eighties but pretend it is okay!)

"Bye." I said all sexily.

"That was Hedwig. He used to be my boyfriend but we broke up." Satan said sadly, looking at his black nails.

"OMFG I can get you back together!" I said fingering something I didn't know was in my pocket- a black Cute is What we Aim for video iPod that I could take videos with (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz! does anyone else know about them? they kick ass!).

"Okay you can forget about your class for now, Hedwig. I'm going to show you something great!" I led them to the Great Hall. "Come on you guys."

Lucius, James, Sirius and Snape were all in the Great Hall. Lucius wouldn't talk with James because he had tried to shoot him.

"Go funk yourself you funking douche!" he shouted at him. "Draco is never going to be friends with vampire now!"

"Yah go funk yourself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I knew he was lying cause it had been his fault James had almost shot Lucius.

"Be quiet you guys." I said sexily. My plan was working out great. Now I could make Voldemort good without doing it with him! Now Vampire's dad would never die and "OK Satan and Hedwig, you guys can start making out." I said and I started to film them with the iPod.

"Cool." said Sirius as Voldemort and Hedwig started too make out sexily. We watched as they started to take each other's clothes off sexily. Samaro, Sirius, Snape and Lucius all watched cause they were probably bi. I knew Snape was bi.

"Oh my funking god! Voldemort! Voldemort!" screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort's.

But suddenly everything stopped as the door opened and in came…Dumbledore and Mr. Norris!

Chapter 42. the black parade

This chapter had a ton of correctly spelled sentences. I put NMS (non-misspelled sentence) after each one.

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it? If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111

AN: omg the new book is coming out really soon I can't wait!. I think that snape will be really the same person as Voldemort cause they are both half-blood so that will explain why he killed dumbledore and he hated harry! and then harry will have to commit suicide so voldemort will die cause he will really be a horcrux! omg I hope draco and harry get together that will be so shmexy, won't it? If they don't then JKR is homophobic! thank for the help with facts, medusa you rock!


I sat depressedly in Dumbledore's office with Hedwig, Satan, James, Sirius, Snape and Lucius. Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young than he did in the future. He had taken the iPod away and was now listening to a shitty Avril Lavigne song.

"What the hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out that I was from another time.

"Whatever you do don't blame Ebony, you jerk." Satan said.

"Yah, seriously she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together." Sirius said deviantly.

"Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cackled. "If you're lucky I'll probably send you all to Azkaban! That will teach you to copulate in the Great Hall." He changed the song on the iPod to a n'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed something strange about the Ipod. It was slowly changing! Dumbledore didn't notice.

"You funking poser." I muttered.

"I bet you've never heard of GC." James said. Now I knew what the iPod was changing into- Marty McFly's time machine!

"Shut up James!" Draco's dad shouted.

"Yeah shut up!" Snape said preppily.

"No you shut up Dumbledore!" said Tom.

"I've had enough of you Satanists in my school!" shouted Dumbledore spuriously.

Suddenly I grabbed the iPod from him. "Everyone! Jump in before it's too late! I jumped into it. But only one other person jumped in. It was…..Satan.

"You dunderheads!" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.

I looked around. I was in the Slytherin common room with Satan. I was wearing a black plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnets, a sexy black MCR corset and black stiletto boots with pink pentagrams on them. My earrings were black Satanist signs and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-back.

"Hey cool where is this?" he asked in an emo voice.

"This is the future. Dumbledore's iPod that he tried to take away from me was really also a time machine." I told him.

"Cool what's an ipatch?" he whimpered.

"It's something you use to listen to music." I yakked. (?)

"OMFG cool wait what's a four-letter-word for dirt?" he asked in his sexy voice.

"Um I guess sand?" I said confusedly.

"Yah I was just trying to make sure you were still the same person." He triumphantly giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in. (NMS)

"OMG you're funking alive!" said Ginny wearing a black leather jacket, black baggy pants and a gothic black From First to Last shirt. I explained to her why I was alive.

"Konichiwa, bitch." said Willow. She was wearing a black corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stripes on it. With it she was wearing a black leather miniskirt, big black boots, white foundation, black eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and black lipstick.

"Hey, motherfunker." Said Diabolo with his red hair. He was wearing a black P?ATD t-shirt and black baggy pants.

"Hey who's that, Ebony?" B'loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shirt with a red pentagram on it with lace at the bottom, red leather pants with black lace, and black stilettos.

"Oh its Satan." I told her and she nodded knowing the truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry.

"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly. (NMS)

"OMFG you're from the future! What if upu don't like me anymore cause we're from different times?" he asked.

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him. (NMS)

"Okay." He said reassuredly. I let him listen to Teenagers by MCR on my iPod while I was about to go outside to find out some things. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. (four NMSs in a row) Professor Sinister ran in! She was wearing a gothic black minidress with depressing black stripes, white and black striped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of black eyeliner.

"Oh my funking god, where's Draco! How did Snape get back here! I thought he was in Azerbaijan." I asked sadly.

"Ebony I was so worried about you but I know you can't funking die because you're a vampire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." (two NMSs in a row) Trevolry said reassuredly.

"That bitch! Did she also free Hagrid and Lupin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a funking prep. (NMS)

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. (NMS) Dumbledore is back Cornelius is on his way to help everyone. Tell everyone you see to lock themselves in their common room!" Trevolry said worriedly.

"OK. But where's Draco? How come he was doing it with Snape?"

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried to commit suicide after he saw you almost kill yourself." she said.

"OMG that's terrible!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. (NMS) Then I said "Listen everyone, I have something important to do. in here everyone stay!" with that I ran out.

"Good luck Tara!" everyone cried. (NMS—if you ignore the "Tara" XD)

I ran sexily down the stairs into the Great Hall while the portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly anyone else on the stairs and there was an atmosphere of horror. On the way I saw Britney laughing on the stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt with flowers on it, a blue jean skirt Abercrombie and pink stilettos. She looked just like a pentagram of those funking preps Hillary Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

"You funking bitch!" I shouted angrily.

"No, you're totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill you!" she laughed.

"Crucious!" I shouted selectively pontificating my black wand and she started screaming cause she was being tortured and I laughed sadistically.

(I think "selectively pontificating" might be the funniest malapropism in this whole fic)

"No! Help me! Please!" Britney screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. (NMS) In her hand I saw the video camera Snape and Lupin had used to take the video of me. I put the tape of Voldemort doing it with Hedwig onto it. Then I continued to run down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached the Great Hall I saw Vampire Potter. "OMG Vampira!" I yielded.

We hugged each other happily. He looked at me with his gothic red eyes and spiky black hair. Around them were black eyeliner and iShadow. His He was wearing a black leather Jacket, leather pants, a Panic at the Disco concert shirt and his black congress shoes. He looked more like Joel from Good Charlotte than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!1 did you hear the song the river it rocks!)"I was so worried you died!" moaned Vampire.

"I know but I'm a vampire lol. When I woke up I was back in 1980, so anyway I brought Voldemort from when he was young with me."

"Where's Draco?" I asked spuriously. (NMS, but with a malapropism)

"Draco? You mean that funking poser who betrayed you?" Vampier snarled with anger in his sexy voice.


"I'll do it then." Harry said angstily.

"OK." I agreed. Suddenly….all the lights in the room went out. And then….the Dork Mark appeared.

"Oh my funking satan!" Harry shouted.

"I think Voldemort has arrived." I said anxiously. "Funk, I have to find Draco! (NMS) I guess we should separate."

"Okay." Vampire said disapparating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall. (NMS)

Chapter 43.

I will now return to not commenting on NMSs.

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111

AN: I think after this I will have about two or three more chapters. Thanks to all my reviewers not that flamers if you flamed this story then you suck! if you flame then funk you!


I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Draco was there! He sat there in deadly gloom in his black 666 t-shirt and his baggy black pants. He had slit his wrists! I felt mad at him for having sex with Snape but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.

"Draco are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not okay." he screamed depressedly.I thought of the MCR song and I got even more depressed cause that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh Draco why did you do it with that funking bastard Snape?" I asked tearfully.

"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris apparated into the room! They didn't see us.

"I'm so glad we me and Snape were freed." said Lupin.

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't for the funking students!" Mr. Norris agreed.

"Pop addelum!" I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them. (pop addelum?)

"Noooooooo!" Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away.

"You funking perv." I said laughing with depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. "Now you have to tell us where Voldemort is or I'm gong to torture you!"

"I don't know where he is!" said Lupin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran into the room. Vampire didn't know who Satan was really.

"Oh my satan, we were so worried about you guys!" Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his gothic red eyes with contacts, black t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerard Way, Vampire with his sexy black hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked just like Brendon Urie then.

I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Draco sexily. Lupin gasped. Draco began to take all of his clothes off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clothes off too. We all began making out together sexily. I took off my black leather bra, my black lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Everyone took their glocks out except for me I'm a girl lol. "Oh my satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy then he did the same thing to Harry. I began making out with Satan and he joined in. "OMS!" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasure. Lupin watched in shock. We took turns doing torture curses on him cause we were all sadists. Suddenly…..

….a big black car that said 666 on the license plate flew straight through the windows. And Snape was in it!

Chapter 44.

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!1111 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.

AN: well I have nothing to say but everyone stop flaming okay! if any gothic people are reading this then you rock! omg I still can't wait for the movie! tom felton is so hot lol I hope harry will become gothic cause my friend told me he is really emo in this book! omfg I'm leaving [?] pretty soon can't wait! This will probably be the last chapter until I come back.


"That's my car!" shouted Draco angrily. But suddenly it was revealed who was in the car. It was….Snape!

"I shall free you Lupin but first you must help me kill these idiotic dunderheads." he said cruelly from the car as it flew [circumamcizing] above us. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Then the Dark Lord shall never die!"

(I have no clue what "cirumamcizing" is supposed to be. There are too many possibilities.)

"You funking prep!" yelled Draco. Then he looked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell you, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sex him but he's a rapist!"

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred! But Satan didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with green eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into… Voldemort!

"I knew who thou were all along." he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shall kill thee all!" Thunder came in the room.

"No please don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Dracula (Neville), Fred and George, Hagrid, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Sirius and Lucius all ran in.

"What is the meaning of this?" Dumbldore asked all angrily and Voldemort looked away (because dumbledore is the only wizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Voldemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstick.

"Oh my goth!" Slughorn gasped. (geddit kos im goffik get it cause I'm )

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape ejaculated menacingly.

"You funking preppy fags!" Sirius shouted angrily.

"I know a four-letter word for dirt, CRUCIATUS!" screamed Harry but the sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car. It fell down Snape quickly crawled out of it and picked up the video camera.

"Oh my funking god!" I cried because the video of me in the bathroom, the video of me doing it with Draco and the video of Satan doing it with [Hedwig were all on it.] (the sentence just stops after "with" in the original)

"If you kill me then these videos will be shown to everyone in the school. Then you can be just like that gothic girl Paris Hilton." He laughed meanly.

"No!" I screamed. "FYI I have the picture of you doing it with Lupin!"

"What's she talking about?" Lupin slurped as he sat in chains.

"I saw too she's gonna show everyone the picture!" Harry shouted angrily.

"Shut up!'" Lupin roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon."

"Think again you funking muggle poser!" Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel both took out black guns! But Voldemort took out his own one.

"You guys are in a Latin stand-off!" I shouted despairedly.

"Accio Navel's wand!" cried Voldemort and suddenly Navel's wand was in his hands. "Now I shall kill thee all and Ebony you will die!"

He made lightning come all over the place.

"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledore cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted to go to the common room and slit my wrists with my friends while we watched Shark Attack 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had to do something more impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!" I shouted.





The End