Warning: This has a slight mention of drug use...
I don't own Suits, but I do own a heart that loves it.
Mike paced back and forth, running his hands down his face. His facial features sagged with exhaustion, while his shoulders struggled to hold the weight of the world. He glanced at his coffee table, eyeing the object in question. He shook his head, as if temptation could be slung out of his thoughts from the sudden movement. He paced again. He looked at the object once more and sat down on his couch. He laid his head in his hands and pulled at his hair. He yelled, but he kept his mouth closed so his neighbors wouldn't hear the strangled noise.
He sat there for several minutes, stuck in the moment between being the man he once was and being the man Harvey wants him to be. His chest heaved, lungs searching for air as if there wasn't any, but in reality, the reality Mike was slowly slipping away from, there was plenty. He was finally rewarded with a deep breath, and it felt like his only accomplishment.
In the several minutes he sat there, his mind played memories, offered facts and statistics and dared him to take the object from the table. He didn't want it. He knew he didn't. However, the desire to forget had always been the strongest. Most people spend their whole lives trying to remember, but he is not most people. He tries to forget.
He takes it in his hands, hands that are shaking as if they have a life of their own and are desperately trying to stop Mike from doing what he's about to do.
Harvey knew something was off with his associate the moment he saw him that morning. After he threw out a quote from To Catch A Thief and Mike acted as if Harvey was speaking a different language, he knew something was wrong. The older lawyer didn't give it much thought as he got caught up in his work, but it was the end of the day and he had only seen his associate twice. He walked out of his office and up to Donna's desk to ask his assistant if she'd seen him. When he got a response that made his stomach uncharacteristically twist, he knew he wouldn't be getting home at a decent time.
He can't see. The water pooling in his eyes blurs his vision and he isn't sure if he likes it or not. He can't hear or smell, but if he could do any of those things he wouldn't have flinched when strong hands grasped his trembling ones. He relishes for a second that he can still feel, because the warmth coming from the strong hands restricting his, tries to shoot through his cold body. It doesn't quiet make it, but it was a start.
He doesn't raise his head, he doesn't want to see the person he has disappointed, the person he has let down. The water in his eyes, threatens to fall and some actually does as some sound comes from his throat that he didn't willingly make.
"Mike." He expected the voice, just not the protectiveness in it. For a moment, he thinks that there's someone trying to hold up the walls he spent years building that are now threatening to crumble, but pieces are still falling down quickly.
"Michael." It was command, one he fully understood. He didn't know why it was soft. He didn't know why it was so gentle. But he knew why he couldn't follow through. He was thankful he could still control the muscles in his neck as he shook his head negatively.
"Yes, Michael." The man said, the tone was harder, stricter, but somewhere buried, was understanding. He felt the hands slowly release his and he tightened his own grip on the object in his hand.
"Stop." The man's order was one he couldn't disobey no matter how much he wanted to. The hands returned, but firmly pried his own fingers off the object. When his hands were empty, they shook harder and he didn't understand why.
He felt his head being lifted and even through the unwanted water in his eyes, he could see Harvey kneeling down in front of him, the drugs, he had yet to take, that had been pried away from him were on the other side of the room. The silence was uncomfortable and Mike couldn't be patient long enough for Harvey to break it.
"I just wanted to forget." His voice sounded small, almost childlike, drenched with innocence. He cursed himself for it, and tried to keep what was left of his walls, up.
"I know." Harvey replied.
Like a catapult releasing large stones, understanding knocked down the rest of his walls. He felt himself sinking to the floor, but the movement quickly reversed and he found himself back on his couch. His hands were no longer empty, filled with the material of the back of an expensive suit jacket, but they still shook along with the rest of his body.
His mind quickly sorted through thoughts and memories to place the feeling he now felt. He found it about fifteen years in the past, in a memory of being held by his father after he had a nightmare, before their relationship went south.
He felt safe.
"You have to remember Mike."
Mike didn't want to listen. He didn't want to believe him.
"If you don't remember, you don't have this life."
He knew it wasn't a threat. He knew Harvey wasn't giving him a choice.
"You start smoking pot again, using drugs, the only thing you'll forget is the better part of your life."
Mike knew it was the truth, but his mind was such a scary place to be sometimes.
"Let us help you forget, okay?" Harvey suggested, still shielding him from the world.
Mike was suddenly aware of another pair of hands on his back. They were slender and gentle, slowly rubbing his back like his mother used to do.
He felt Harvey's arm tighten around him just a little bit more when he buried his face into the older man's chest. He listened to the pounding of a heart he use to question the existence of.
"We can't change anything. We can't make it go away." Harvey said.
"But we'll always be here, Mike." Donna finished as she continued to rub his back.
Silence covered them, while one silently vowed to protect, the other vowed to mother, and the youngest attempted to trust.
"Let that be enough, Michael." Harvey's voice was demanding, but Mike caught the slight desperation to his voice, pleading him to just trust him enough so that he could help him.
Mike finally found his voice.
AN: So yeah... it's a short little one shot that leaves it up to you what Mike wants to forget. Free for interpretation. I just wrote this as free writing so, it is what it is. What I want to forget though is that Suits doesn't come back on till Summer! That is way too long! :( Anyway, I hope you liked it, if you didn't I'm quiet sorry. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! :)