Chopsticks, how do they work?

Snakeman stared in disgust at his rice and fried octopus meal trying to figure out how the hell he was suppose to feed himself. Hardman, who had done all the cooking tonight, had insisted on a true Japanese cuisine complete with the right utensils that didn't include a fork and a knife. Of course, this made Sparkman and Needleman both look like a pair of asses since neither of them had proper hands to begin with. Sparkman got mad and accidentally fried his sashimi into a black lump of charcoal and Needleman, being the pompous rude prick he was, stuck his needles into his food, ate from his hand and walked away.

The rest of them were left trying to figure out how chopsticks functioned. For a set of robot masters with a supposedly superior AI and OS, the method on how to use two pieces of wooden sticks as something to eat with was baffling and almost caused a system error in Topman. Hardman had scoffed and tried to show them how to keep their food properly balanced but everyone was too hungry to wait.

The only ones who seemed to be enjoying their meal in the proper way (according to Hardman) was Magnetman and Geminiman. Magnetman sat cross legged and silently ate through his tempura being careful not to invoke Hardman's wrath again. Geminiman, on the other hand, was delighted with the arrangement because it meant a chance to show off how educated and wonderful he was when it came to eating Japanese style. He certainly had no problem separating his nikujaga and eating it.

Snakeman was getting frustrated. He hated seeing Geminiman smirk at him so smugly. But he hated the chopsticks more. They were too complicated, too frustrating and (the worst part) they were shaped like giant needles that seemed to have come from Needleman's cannon. Snakeman did not have a problem with regular pointy objects...it was only the large sharp pointy objects that gave him a scare.

"Come on, eat! It's getting cold!" Hardman urged.

"Can't I jussssssssst get a fork?" Snakeman begged. "This is ridiculoussssssss!"

"Absolutely not. This is a Japanese meal and we will eat it the traditional way," Hardman said firmly.

"What's the big deal?" Magnetman asked. He was already finished his food and got up to leave. "Good meal, Hard. If you'll excuse me?" With that, he left the room.

"The big deal is I'm starving and I can't work these two pieces of wood to hold my food and feed me," Snakeman thought. Reaching the end of his nerves, he picked up his chopsticks and stabbed them into his rice. Hardman let out a yell that startled them all and ruined Geminiman's perfect posture. "Now what?"

"Are you INSANE?" Hardman snapped. "You don't stick your chopsticks in your food like that! Especially not RICE!"

"Why not?" Snakeman groaned.

"Because that is only done at funerals! And you're not suppose to just spear your chopsticks into your food! I'll show you once again so PAY ATTENTION! Now you hold the chopsticks like this..." Hardman went on with the lecture he had given them at least five times already. Snakeman zoned out while Topman and Geminiman regarded him with dirty looks.

"Wonder how Geminiman would look wearing a maid outfit?"

"...and that's how it works! Hey, Snakeman! Are you LISTENING?" Hardman broke his train of thought.

"Yeah yeah..." Snakeman waved his hand. Hardman scowled and left the room muttering to himself. Topman let out an exasperated sigh and set aside his bowl of vegetables.

"I don't like veggies much anyway...I think I'll go see Shadowman. Maybe he'll want a steak."

"I doubt that," Geminiman said in his usual snooty tone. "I've never seen him eat before."

"I have." Topman flashed them both a smile and then left. Snakeman shook his head in wonder. Geminiman set aside his own bowl, looking puzzled.

"Wonder what's going on between them?"

Snakeman snickered. "Probably the ssssssame thing going on between you and I, Gemini."

It was common knowledge in the robot master's home that Snakeman had a thing for Geminiman. There were many things about the robot master he found irresistable, not the least being Geminiman's good looks and the fact he was petrified of any and all snakes. All Snakeman had to do was hiss and slither his touch up Geminiman's body and the narssissist was completely at his mercy. Sometimes he hated it and shouted for him to go away but other times, Geminiman gave into the sweet and alluring temptation, which was the very trap Snakeman set in the first place. He never gave up chasing Geminiman and everyone was sure he never will.

However, Geminiman always denied there was anything between them. He believed in keeping his personal image as clean as his mirrors and he would never allow the company of another man, much less Snakeman, to sully that image. He was everyone's fool; Magnetman had revealed how many nights Geminiman kept him up with his screaming (of pleasure rather than of fright) and Shadowman crept from dark place to dark place. He had seen the two robot masters kissing (and other things) before and spilled the beans to everyone else.

"Th-there's nothing between us!" Geminiman stuttered, turning a shade of red. "And I wish you would stop saying there was, you slithery, slimy snake!"

Who did Gemini think he was playing at? Dr. Wily? Snakeman sneered and moved closer to Geminiman, who immediately got edgy.

"Ssssssslimy, darling?" he whispered huskily in Gemini's ear. "You didn't sssssseem to think ssssso two nightsssss ago. Besides, I'm a sssssnake. Sssssssssnakes are shiny, but not sssssslimy. You wound me with your inaccurate insultssss, my dear."

"Don't call me that," Geminiman muttered.

"I call it like I ssssssssssee it, my dear," Snakeman said. "And you know it'ssssss true."

"No!" Geminiman feebly protested before Snakeman lowered his head and kissed Geminiman roughly. He struggled but Snakeman's tongue was already working its magic on him. With a sigh, he surrendered to Snakeman's desires. He hated admitting to himself how many times Snakeman made him feel so weak in the knees. He hated that it was Snakeman, of all the robot masters, who could take him to the peaks of excitement and then back again.

He had to admit, though not out loud, that Snakeman was really good in bed anyway. Perhaps it may have been because he was created with animalistic characteristics or that he knew all of Geminiman's sweet spots but Snakeman was a true animal in bed.

"You tasssssssste sssssssso good, Gemini," Snakeman whispered.

"Oh crap, I knew it...I'm going to be his meal for tonight."


This is for the SnakeGemini group on Deviantart. They were holding a chopsticks contest and this is my entry. C:

I adore this pairing. I have no idea why. To me it's a hilarious pairing with one being terrified of the other in a non abusive way.

This is also dedicated to the owner of the club, Qyelli. Her fantastic drawings of this pairing really got me into it.