Th' ice lolly was meltin', sticky raspberry dripped onto mah knuckles, but ah didn't notice. He held mah attenshun, a tall man, broad sh'dered an' yo'thful, wif eleckric eyes thet nevah rested t'long on one point. Violent blue, sparklin' like lop glass in th' sunlight, he looks away fum me an' runs elegant fingers through shaggy blonde hair. One mutinous lock reJawjad stan'in', ereck an' quivahin'. He parts bowed lips t'speak, ah don't bother t'lissen. His wo'ds is foolish, yo'ng, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! They fo'm ideas of zombie viruses an' mega-fightin' car-bot wars. Nothin' valid, th' whims of a man wif ADD an' too much power fell on mah deaf ears an' lost in thunk ah raised th' ice block t'mah lips. A small suck, th' flavour was tart but ah liked it.
"Hey, Iggy, is yo' lissenin'?"
"No." ah tilted mah haid t'th' side, watchin' wif interess as his hansum face registered shock an' then mild offense, mouth twistin' into a small pout. He pushed his glasses further up th' bridge of his nose.
"But ah need yer he'p! Fry mah hide! How is ah supposed t'build mah car-bot wifout yer money?"
"ah didn't raise yo' t'piss away money on car-bots, A'fred, cuss it all t' tarnation." T'other suck on mah ice block. Shet mah mouth! "Yo' hoof it ahaid an' does whutevah yo' like, ah pow'ful don't care, but I'm not he'pin' yo' an' ah's hankerin' nothin' t'do wif it."
Th' man wasn't happy. His sh'ders slumped noticeably, his eyes narrowed into an evil glare. It was fo'tunate we were alone; th' shadow of ill hoomour thet dexcended upon th' small office was inough t'make enny hoomin heartily depressed, cuss it all t' tarnation.
"Whut in tarnation is yo' tryin' t'say?"
"I'm sayin', A'fred, cuss it all t' tarnation. Thet yer ideas is stoopid an' thet yer a bad, bad fella. Yo' need t'larn t'grow up an' begin spendin' money on impo'tant thin's, like kincer research an' indin' povahty."
"Oh whut does yo' know, yo''re jest a stoopid old man" he tosted his haid an' sat down on th' edge of his desk. Shet mah mouth! It creaked unner his weight. A'fred looked fit inough, but wif all th' burgers an' sweets he ate, it was a case of looks kin be deceivin'.
ah scowled an' stood, cuss it all t' tarnation.
"Yo''re a brat, yo' knows thet? All yo' evah reckon about is grub an' sex an' car-bots." ah pressed th' tip of mah ice block t'his throat, stan'in' on mah toes so mah eyes were level wif his. Them gemlike eyes fixed on mah face; ah narrowed mah own, challengin' him, dawgone it.
This hyar was th' nature of us, ah suppose. Adoppive brothers, Pappy an' son, inemies wif ties thet webbed beneath our hide like veins. These seams thet boun' us aginst our will sometimes flooded wif hate, other times a peekoolyar pride in one t'other. Sometimes still, they pulsed wif tenshun relieved only by th' touch of han's an' hide, kisses burnin' wif fierce rivalry, th' body of th' enemah, a mockery of th' days we spent as fambly.
This hyar was th' nature of mah fickle son, an' th' lessons ah had larned fum him on over th' years. We were as bad as etch other, infecked by one t'other; we were parts of th' same whole.
We made a decent team, despite th' obvious flaws.
So ah suppose, on th' surface, it made sense.
"Car-bots is impo'tant, ah reckon. Who else will defend us when we is invaded by mars?"
"Eff'n we is invaded by mars." ah slid th' ice lolly up his neck, along his jaw t'his ear. A faint, glissenin' red line of raspberry reJawjad, cuss it all t' tarnation. His eyes flickered shet an' ah smirked widely. "Say it, Al, ah reckon. Eff'n we is invaded by mars."
"We will be invaded by mars."
"tsk tsk… even at a time like this hyar yo' misbehave. Do as yer told jest once in yer life." ah lean in an' helter-skelter mah tongue along his jaw, lappin' up th' right fine trail lef' on his hide. "Yeah?"
"wh-whut will yo' does if ah don't?"
"Wal, yo' hafta be punished, don't yo'?"
"An' eff'n I'm fine?"
"Then yo' git a reward, cuss it all t' tarnation."
"hmm…" ha'f cast eyes rested on mah han', still holdin' th' ice lolly t'th' side of his law. Perhaps he c'd only see it wif peripheral vishun. In enny case, th' unfocused blue was indless, breathtakin'. Familiar.
"Wal, ah suppose yo''d better punish me then, as enny fool kin plainly see. On account o' id rather die than give up mah car-bots."
"Git." ah pressed mah leg between his an' his chin fell fo'ward, hair obscurin' his face.
Mah knee, ah groun' it upward, not missin' th' white knuckles thet implied a tightened grip on th' edge of th' desk. Shet mah mouth! ah nuzzled his bangs sof'ly, mah free han' caressin' his cheek an' grabbin' his chin, as enny fool kin plainly see. A sharp gasp was th' only thin' he gave me, a mino' indicashun of th' hammerin' heartbeat ah c'd feel echoed in mah chest. Mah lips flirted wif his jaw line, teasin' th' mighty co'ner of his mouth. When our lips met, ah dropped mah han', mah face holdin' his in place.
His lips is mighty chapped, acshully. ah allus took care of mine, th' small rose chapstick ah carried in mah ass pocket was somewhut of a moot t'tease in th' eyes of nashuns like France, but it was all wo'th it t'turn this hyar li'l brat t'jelly. His eager tongue c'dn't resist flickin' fo' a taste, his neat teeth curiously nibblin', tryin' th' waters. ah reined him in wif a thrett upin' nip, takin' mah sweet time an' slippin' aginst his tongue, pressin' a li'l, strokin', toyin'. A muffled groan, th' faintess grind upward aginst mah hip. His tongue laxed an' let me plunner th' inside of his mouth. Th' roof, his teeth, ah massaged etch spot wif dedicated cornsiderashun, coaxin' carnal soun's fum deep inside his chest.
When ah pulled back, his cheeks had darkened cornsiderably. His eyes glazed, cuss it all t' tarnation. A slenner strin' of saliva, glissenin' an' taught, slung between out lips lazily. ah wiped mah mouth on th' back of mah han' an' murmured a disgested sumpin, a blush of embarrassment fluttered on over his already pinkened cheeks. Th' wholesome flush of a virgin was replaced wif th' wanton, hoomiliated red of a li'l bitch. ah smirked an' groun' mah leg harder. His lips parted in a sof' moan, eyes fallin' shet. ah licked th' drippin's of ice block off mah han' carelessly an' regarded him wif a calm eye.
"Yer hankerin' it Al?"
Starin' pointedly at th' spot t'th' lef' side of mah face, he nodded, expresshun pained, cuss it all t' tarnation.
"No, yo' say it, o' yo' git nothin'." Mah leg agin. t'other strangled moan, he crumpled completely aginst me, legs givin' way. His haid shook fiercely.
"Oh? Whut in tarnation a shame. An' look atcha too, completely desperate. Have yo' been starved, Al? Yo''ve been waitin' fo' ages, haven't yo'?"
Pleadin' eyes met mine, he clawed at mah shirt an' th' burnin' fevah ah had see lurkin' at th' back of his mind fo' th' past week suddenly allered t'flood t'th' surface. It was amoosin' t'see, acshully, af'er watchin' it barely corntained through meetin' af'er meetin'. Through seemin'ly no'mal cornvahsashuns an' avahage argoomnts.
"Please Ezekiel…"
"Yo' were waitin' fo' this hyar exack moment though. ah know. Whuffo' else did yo' invite me hyar t'yer office? As eff'n yo''d give a dadburn about mah opinion on yer stoopid car-bots…"
"'oh, Iggy, mind a-comin' through t'talk t'me fo' a moment about a noo idea of mine?'" ah did mah best, an' surprisin'ly passable imitashun of his drawlish southern accent as ah quoted him, dawgone it. "yo' may as fine haf said 'Ezekiel, fuck me please, ah need it."
A sof' whimper, he nuzzled mah shirt. Th' malicious curve of mah lip grew mo'e pronounced an' ah tongued mah ice block, givin' him a tho'oughly bo'ed look. Shet mah mouth!
"Fine." ah ruffled his hair an' stepped back, leavin' him t'ketch hisse'f. "Eff'n yer hankerin' it so bad, beg me. Git down on yer knees an' beg, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!"
He seemed surprised at thet, lips fo'min' a slack 'o'. ah cocked an eyebrow an' inclined mah haid down, as enny fool kin plainly see. He knowed whut ah meant.
Humbly, holdin' back tears, he lowered hisse'f t'his knees an' shuffled fo'ward, cuss it all t' tarnation. His han's on mah belt buckle took me by surprise. ah jumped an' whacked his han's away.
"Not today yo' prick! Fry mah hide! ah said beg, not suck me off."
His lip trembled an' he lowered his haid. ah used mah foot t'tip his chin back, so he was lookin' at me.
"Please… Ezekiel."
"Please Ezekiel whut?"
"Please… fuck me."
ah grinned even wider. Vicko'y.
He blinked, lookin' fo' a moment like ah had kicked him, dawgone it. ah patted his haid as ah roun'ed him an' sat on th' edge of his desk. Shet mah mouth!
"But feel free t'come hyar an' fuck mah leg eff'n yo' wish." ah offered mah right leg t'him, he gazed at me hopelessly on over his sh'der.
"Come on then, as enny fool kin plainly see."
ah shuffled fo'ward further, so th' ball of mah foot was flush aginst th' wooden flore. He removed his glasses wif shakin' han's an' stood, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah held out a palm in an offer t'take th' glasses fum him but as he approached, he placed them tennerly on th' bridge of mah nose instead, cuss it all t' tarnation.
"Take care of Texas, please."
Thet comment, sech a hoomble, junuine request, threw me off fo' an instant. a small window of time in which ah suddenly felt a rush of affeckshun an' on overwhelmin' love fo' th' man was slammed shet agin as soon as he straddled mah upper leg an' placed his han's firmly on th' desk eifer side of mah hips.
"Do yer hankerin' me t'kiss yo' while yo' does it?" ah inquired, bracin' mahse'f wif one arm fo' whut was about t'foller. He nodded, an' lif'ed his face a li'l, implo'in'ly. Th' faint pucker of his lips was almost sweet. ah tried not t'loose heart in whut was gwine on, as enny fool kin plainly see. Mah face slammed aginst his an' ah fo'ced mah way back inside his mouth. He groaned an' slowly, hesitantly, groun' hisse'f aginst mah thigh.
His ereckshun muss haf been painful, ah reckon. It pressed hard aginst mah leg an' tented th' tight denim of his jeans dramatically. ah twirled mah tongue a li'l an' focused in th' feelin' of it slidin' aginst me. ah liked it, ah liked it a lot.
But ah had long on account o' mastered igno'in' mah own, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Mebbe I'm a fine varmint, mebbe ah git mo'e pleasure outta pleasin' him than he gits outta pleasin' me. It didn't particularly matter. Mah sole purpose today was t'make him cum as messily an' as undignified as ah postibly c'd. ah c'd haf a wank later, eff'n th' need arose. A'fred c'd only be see t'now.
He sped up as ah dipped deeper into his mouth, muffled moanin' punckuated by th' obscene soun' of cloth aginst cloth, th' slick smack of lips an' tongues, irregular gasps fo' air. His arms suppo'tin' him on th' desk quivahed, ah removed mah lips fum his an' licked them, a flood of lest-leaked cries poured fum his throat.
"Al, stop. Git off an' take of yer pants."
"Yer pants. Git off me an' remove them, dawgone it. Git naked, cuss it all t' tarnation."
"Ah… o-okay." He winced at havin' t'stan', brow furrowin' in pain as he fumbled clumsily wif his button an' zipper. ah crosted mah legs t'hide mah hard on an' suckled calmly on mah frozen treat. It was beginnin' t'melt quite rapidly now, a sharp tin'le zin'in' in mah mouth.
"Good fella…" ah moosed, mo'e t'mahse'f, as he finally managed t'git his lower ha'f stripped of clo'es. Anxiously clutchin' th' hem of his button shirt, upper legs squeezed togither an' tense wif arousal, he looked like a hansum li'l chile agin. Innercent, scared, embarrassed…
Whut in tarnation kind of innercent chile likes it up th' ass?
"Okay then Al, turn aroun' an' kneel down, as enny fool kin plainly see. Hold yer han's behind yer back an' yer face on th' flore. Notcher fo'ehaid, yer cheek. Shet mah mouth! An' spread yer legs."
Wifout a sin'le complaint, he obliged, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah sat thar fo' a moment, six packin' in th' vishun, lettin' th' desperate dry rake of his breath dance delightfully up mah spine. Ah, ah c'd imagine his face… he'd be cryin' now, fo' sho'nuff…
ah pushed Texas further up th' bridge of mah nose an' slid off th' desk, steppin' on over his pants an' approachin' th' prone figger.
"Feelin' okay, A'fred?"
"mhmm… yeah." He soun'ed breathy. Dizzy. In pain, as enny fool kin plainly see. His wrists behind his back shook, ah noticed, as eff'n he was havin' trouble gittin' them t'stay thar.
ah looked fo' sumpin ah c'd use t'mah advantage hyar, an' mah eyes fell on his belt. One of them heavy leather ones, wif th' trimenjus tacky buckle. ah grabbed it an' belted up his wrists roughly. At fust he seemed shocked, but it passed, cuss it all t' tarnation. He went back t'shaller breathin' an' lesty, pointless whimpers of 'please' soon inough. ah pulled th' belt as tight as it'd hoof it an' fo'ced th' pin through th' leather t'secure it in th' buckle. Puffick. Mah han' smoothed down th' ridge of his spine an' caressed th' sfine of his ass. He squeaked, cuss it all t' tarnation.
"Hm?" ah mumbled, rubbin' th' lef' side evah so juntly an' kneelin' down, as enny fool kin plainly see. His hips jerked an' ah kissed th' spot ah nursed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Smooth white hide, sof' an' delicious. Mah tongue flickered on over th' surface an' he flat whined, cuss it all t' tarnation. A high pitched, mizzuable noise ah c'dn't he'p but chuckle at.
"Oh Al, yer so needy." ah smacked him lightly, delightin' in th' flush of red thet spread fum th' contack an' kissed his tail bone. One, two, three li'l pecks.
ah trailed down, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Mah han' not holdin' th' ice block corntinued t'massage th' sweet rises of flesh as mah mouth wawked downward, cuss it all t' tarnation. As ah drew closer an' closer, ah retired mah lips, needin' t'utilize mah tongue in o'der t'git a li'l better… reacquainted wif th' parts of him ah had splored menny times befo'e.
"a-ah! Fry mah hide! ARTHUR! Fry mah hide!" his hide spasmed, face slidin' fo'ward acrost th' flore when ah retched mah destinashun. ah c'd hear th' desperashun in his voice. Th' fingers ah was usin' t'kneed his ass sliped between his legs an' t'th' flore, a squeak resonated as ah slid them acrost th' wood but became silent when meetin' wif a puddle of precum poolin' beneath him, dawgone it. Thar was a lot. ah felt a li'l mo'e drip on th' back of mah han', an' th' sensashun made me laugh a li'l. ah sucked sof'ly, rollin' mah tongue in circles aginst him, an' raised mah slick han' t'his massive ereckshun. ah c'd feel it pulse wif heat in mah han'. Mah finger teased, circlin' th' haid an' back t'his balls, aroun' t'whar ah was kissin' an' teasin', slippin' inside.
A'fred had by now completely lost th' ability t'speak. Shet mah mouth!
Gurgled, desperate whines an' cries. Sobs an' desperate pleas fo' mo'e were choked indlessly fum his chest, but ah heeded them not, takin' it jest as slow an' steady as ah had been, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah wiggled mah fingertip an' pulled back. Shet mah mouth! His shirt was wet wif sweat. He was shakin'.
"God Al, yo' look a li'l hot. Want me t'right fine yo' down?" ah made sho'nuff he c'd hear me suckin' th' ice lolly agin, lickin' th' drips an' injoyin' th' taste. Unable t'respond in enny unnerstan'able fo'm of English, A'fred grunted, an' ah was surprised by how composed an' sho'nuff th' soun' was. It made me even mo'e eager, ah reckon. On account o' it revealed sumpin mighty vital an' valuable t'me.
Th' only reason ah was doin' this, was on account o' he was lettin' me. On account o' he junuinely wanted me t'hoomiliate him, dawgone it.
I'd nevah admit it, but wifout this hyar grace ah doubt ah c'd evah git th' mighty nashun of South Car'lina spread befo'e me like this.
ah valued thet trest.
Fiercely determined t'oblige t'his wishes an' hoomiliate him as much as ah postibly c'd, ah pulled th' Ice block fum mah lips an' pressed th' tip t'th' quivahin', flushed spot on his hide. Carefully removin' mah fingertip, ah rubbed th' mighty rim an' spread it open a li'l, th' ice block had a diameter of about 3cm, which was small cornsiderin' whut he was used to, but when it came t'al size didn't matter. A li'l dribble of cold webbed its way through mah fingers. He gasped haltin'ly, shudderin'.
"This hyar wont hurt, but it'll be fuckin' cold, cuss it all t' tarnation."
He keened long an' ecstatic when ah slipped th' ice block inside.
ah threst it in as far as ah c'd, about fif'een centimetres wo'th, so thet only th' stick was lef' protrudin'. Of course it'dn't hurt him fum stretchin', but ah knowed eff'n ah lef' it t'long wifout movin' it'd freeze burn him, dawgone it. ah wifdrew th' thin' agin befo'e pushin' it back. Shet mah mouth! Smooth, easy moshuns lubricated by th' ices corntack wif his hot insides.
"Oh… oh Ezekiel…"
"Do yo' like it?" ah kissed th' small of his back an' leaned on over him, dawgone it. Mah lips brushed th' nape of his neck, ah struggled t'hold mahse'f up in this hyar posishun, but ah made sho'nuff t'insert th' ice block at jest th' right angle at jest th' right teasin' speed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Mah breath fogged th' inside of his glasses, an' mah vishun was compromised, but thet was okay on account o' ah c'd still feel him an' sense him wif ev'ry fibre of mah bein'.
"mmm… yessuh. Ezekiel, yessuh…"
"Do yer hankerin' mo'e?"
"Please… mo'e." His heavy breath, bleary blue eyes opened, unfocused an' but fixed on mah face. A weak smile, mah heart leapp. "Gimme ev'rythin' yo' have, Ezekiel."
Wif hurried han's, ah undid his wrists so he c'd hold hisse'f up an' latched onto his mouth. Instead of usin' his freed han's t'prop hisse'f, he dragged me fo'ward, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah lost grip on th' ice lolly fo' a moment, but c'dn't complain, he was draggin' mah tongue into his mouth, suckin' desperately an' tumblin' backward, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah fell sideways an' wasted no time rollin' on top eff'n him, between his spread legs. His hips rose. Our lips rejoined an' ah foun' th' ice block stick agin, pistonin' it in an' out wif renooed vigour. It was melted almost completely now, an' ah felt a pang of regret. He still hadn't came.
Fuck it.
ah wifdrew an' cast th' useless remnants of ice block aside. A surprised li'l murmur, ah fo'ced him silent wif a jab of mah tongue. Mah han's had no problem undoin' mah pants, ah freed mah ereckshun an' rubbed it a li'l, finally givin' in t'th' throb wif a delighted groan on mah part. ah grabbed his lif'ed hips an' pressed inside.
"Oh god A'fred! Fry mah hide!" mah han's shif'ed fum his hips t'his hair. ah buried mah face in th' side of his neck, gaspin', lower hide turnin' t'moosh. Whar usually thar was heat an' tightness was a delicious, wet cold, suckin' me in an' sendin' shivahs right up mah spine. He clawed mah sh'der blades an' arched harder, one leg thrown acrost mah back an' hookin' thar as firmly as postible. His neck tasted like th' tears thet had tracked thar, his scent heavy wif ho'mones an' sweat.
"Ezekiel! Fry mah hide!"
"ngh… ah sunk mah teeth into his throat an' began t'threst. Th' feelin' of slippin' so easily inside him, th' smell of raspberry ice-lolly. Tracks of sticky cold melt slifered down mah legs an' ah pushed even harder, hammerin' into him, dawgone it. He clenched an' unclenched aroun' me, ah realised thet th' frickshun was warmin' him inside, as fine as all through mah lower hide. Th' heave of his clothed chest, his hips slammin' upwards t'retch mine. ah didn't usually like t'do it facin' him, ah didn't like th' way he had t'bend his back. Shet mah mouth! Af'er all, ah was hyar t'hoomiliate an' pleasure him, right, not bust his spine. He didn't seem t'care though, in thet moment. ah pushed th' thunk aside an' threst harder.
"T-touch me. Please Ezekiel touch me." fresh tears, he nuzzled mah hair an' squeezed th' back of mah neck. Shet mah mouth! ah felt his frannic kisses all on over mah face. Mah one han' made its way down his hide an' of course ah began strokin' him swif'ly. Etch one beckoned a noo, louder, mo'e passhunate cry fo'th fum. His voice'd be houn'dog soon, as enny fool kin plainly see. Neifer of us cared, cuss it all t' tarnation.
"A-Ezekiel I'm a-comin'! Fry mah hide!"
"No! Fry mah hide!" ah hissed, rubbin' his dick even faster. "Don't yo' dast come fust. Yo' dirty who'e."
"Ezekiel ah can't! Fry mah hide!"
"Don't yo' dast! Fry mah hide!"
"ah can't Ezekiel. Oh god Ezekiel. Fuck. Shet mah mouth! Fuck. Shet mah mouth! Ezekiel. ! Fry mah hide!" his hide froze rigidly fo' a moment. ah growled an' slammed into him as hard as ah postibly c'd befo'e he clamped down on me an' positively screamed mah name. His hide buckled pow'fully, his shudderin' makin' me shudder too. ah wonnered eff'n it had hurt him, this hyar climax. He seemed positively shattered, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Thet thunk disappeared completely when his mooscles began twitchin' an' flutterin' aroun' me. ah gasped an' shivahed, releasin' inside his hide an' collapsin' on top of a still squirmin' teenager wifout botherin' t'wifdraw. Mah breath was sho't, mah haid spinnin'… ah c'd feel mahse'f begin t'drip outta him aroun' me, smearin' all on over mah upper thighs an' puddlin' in th' flore below.
His hide, still slightly arched beneath me, finally relaxed wif a moan, as enny fool kin plainly see. He still shook a li'l; his arms aroun' me fell limp t'his sides.
"A-A'fred?" ah rolled off him an' absentmindedly wiped cum off mah shirt. "Is yo' okay?"
"nnngh." An indistinck noise. He twitched a li'l an' opened a sin'le, dilated eye. "Fantastic."
He c'd barely fo'm th' wo'ds. His voice, breathy an' quiet, seemed so insubstantial ah thunk it might be whispered away by th' air itse'f. Th' beatific smile he gave me was so delicut an' weak ah felt tears prickle mah eyes. I'd nevah see ennythin' as right purdy in mah life.
"Come hyar yo'." ah drew him into a sittin' posishun an' he flopped bonelessly aginst mah chest. His haid lolled, his whole hide was limp. ah gave him a squeeze an' kissed th' crown of his haid.
"Is yo' sho'nuff yo''re okay?"
"Ezekiel, ah will nevah feel this hyar happy agin."
ah smiled t'mahse'f, strokin' his now tousled spun gold hair.
He said thet ev'ry time.

Told ya. Aint this just the most badass motherfuckin shit yo ever seen?

No, I don't own hillbilly hetalia either.

… im not sure id want to…