Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight. All recognizable plot and characters belong to the talented Stephanie Meyer.
Char, Pete, Jasper and I bought a house a few miles away from the Cullen one in New Hampshire. All the land between the houses and for a mile around either side belonged to us so it was beautifully secluded.
The next six months of my newborn year went quicker than the first had as I rebuilt my relationship with the Cullen's and my relationship with Jasper continued to grow.
It took a while after that first day for everyone to calm down and Jasper said he still felt anger burning in the background of all their emotions. I worried a little for Edward, he deserved to pay for his mistakes but I'd keep Jasper, all of them from burning him, they'd regret that one day, after all, under the anger, they still loved him. Spoiled and misguided as he was, he was still their family.
Once we'd pulled apart and the family had congratulated us, I pulled Jasper outside. He needed a breather from the intense emotional atmosphere.
"You ok?" He asked as I pulled him into the woods.
I nodded, "Are you? Is it just the excessive feeling fest inside or is something wrong?"
He shook his head, "How do you do that?"
I grinned at him, "I'm your mate."
He laughed and pulled me into his arms, "Yes you are." His mouth captured mine for the first time and it was as though the stars aligned. He deepened the kiss and I moaned into him. He tasted like apples dipped in honey.
I wrapped my arms around him, pushing myself against his hard form. His hands went to my waist and I pushed a little away from him.
His eyes were pitch black. I knew mine were to.
I could see him struggling to gain control of himself. I just smiled at him and pulled his shirt, it tore away and he growled pulling me back into him and kissing me fiercely, he nipped my bottom lip and tore my own shirt from me so we were skin to skin. I rubbed against him like a cat while he continued to kiss me. I moved again, this time to kiss his neck, his shoulder and then down his chest.
"Bella." He groaned, a half growl and half moan.
From my knees I looked up at him, my hands going to the buckle of his belt. "I was thinking of testing this no gag reflex thing, with your permission, Major, sir." His eyes went impossibly blacker as he growled, his hand running through my hair.
I stripped him, kissing down his thighs.
For a second I just stared at him in all his naked glory. Like all vampires his skin glittered in the sun but Jasper was littered with silver scars that glowed like moonlight. Half moons crisscrossed over his torso, his arms, his neck. I licked one that was on his hip, then kissed along the bone down towards where his length strained towards me. I ran my hands up his legs and cupped his balls, playing with them as I swiped my tongue over the head. His hand tightened in my hair, not to guide me or move me, just to hold on to something. I sucked him deep in one and he cursed. I chuckled around him, I felt powerful, beautiful, and confident. I moved on him setting a quick pace and swallowing every time he slipped down the back of my throat. He was growling lowly and cursing so I pulled off him and licked him from base to head, kissing the tip before swirling my tongue around him. He started to beg so I sucked him deep and swallowed one more time causing him to explode down my throat. I sucked him dry and then sat back on my heals. Jasper dropped to his knees and pulled me to him to kiss me deeply. His eyes were still darker than pitch as he smiled at me.
"My turn." He laughed and lifted me to lay me back on the grass of the forest floor.
He began by kissing down my collarbone and then down my sternum, he swirled his tongue in my belly button and ran his hand up my ribs. His lips came back up my stomach and his tongue ghosted across the underside of my left breast, then he kissed my right nipple before moving back to the left to suckle it. He nipped, kissed and sucked until the peak hurt it was so tight. Then he switched to the other though his fingers came up to gently play with aching nipple. He bit the other one and I cried out arching into him as he soothed it with a swipe of his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. My nipples had never felt more sensitive and my already damp panties, from blowing him were now dripping.
"Jas, Jas, Jasper." I moaned, arching into him, trying to find some relief. "Please, Major, please." He growled against my breast and began to kiss down my tummy again. His tongue traced my hip bone to the edge of my jeans and along it to the other hip. He pulled of my jeans slowly kissing down one leg and up the other once he'd reached the sole of my foot. He leaned into me and breathed in at my panties.
"Jasper!" I ached for him. I felt like the world would fall apart if I didn't have him inside me, now. He looked up and quirked an eyebrow. It was so fucking sexy, I just moaned at him. "Please, Major. Please stop teasing me. I need you."
He grinned and with the flick of his hand he tore my panties away.
His mouth was magic. He sucked my clit into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the sensitive nub while slipping two fingers into my drenched pussy. My back arched off the ground as I let out a keening wale. He kept sucking and licking while pumping his fingers, curling them to hit my g-spot. Fuck I thought that was a myth. "JASPER!" I shouted as I came but my body demanded more. He gave it, biting my clit gently I convulsed again, shooting into an orgasm so intense I thought if I were human I'd black out.
"Please Major." I was spent but needed more. I needed him inside me even if I was sure another orgasm like that would kill me.
He moved over me, lifting my right leg up to his hip. His black eyes met mine. "Love you." He told me, leaning down for a kiss as he slid inside of me.
I wrapped my legs around his lean hips. "I love you. So much. I love you, Jasper."
He smiled and I felt his love pour into me as he projected. Quickly the emotion turned to lust. He began to move inside me. His gift fed me emotions of lust and love as his body brought mine pleasure that I had never imagined. We moved together, building each other higher as we moved faster and grinded harder into each other.
"Major, yes, please, god, fuck me harder!" I cried. I'd never heard myself beg so much.
He growled and pounded harder into me, shifting our position to lift my legs higher, resting them in the crook of his arms to give himself leverage. From this angle each thrust pounded against my g-spot. Each time he hit it my breath came out with a little scream. His eyes met mine and his gift exploded, flooding me with more love, lust and euphoria than I'd ever experienced. I clenched around him as I came. He was growling, his body still as he filled me.
We lay panting in the grass, holding each other after.
"Jasper." I sighed into his chest. This moment, this and the one right after he entered me, they were heaven. Perfect peace and perfect bliss.
After a little bit I had to ask, "How long have you known?"
"Christmas. You called to Pete about the fish and I tossed him in the center of the lake. I knew in that moment that I had finally found what I had always been missing, that finally I was whole and my life exacty what I wanted it to be. I knew that the reason you were so special was because you were my world, I don't want to ever have to exist without Bella. As soon as I realized that, I knew you were my mate." He chuckled, "I guess I'm a little obtuse, or was to afraid to face it before. Maybe part of me always knew. I always knew you were special and I knew you were worth becoming that demon I was afraid to be. I should have known in Arizona when I was ready to become Maria's demon to keep you safe."
"I didn't see it before either."
"We do now."
"We'll always be together now."
"Even when you hate me, and trust me over the millennia there will be times you want to light me on fire, we will always work it through, always be together. I will always love you."
I laughed at his words, it was true, there had been so many times I wanted to hit Paul with a baseball bat, times where I had screamed at Luc in frustration but I had loved them through it all. They weren't my forevers, I would always miss them but they weren't Jasper, he was the one I would live or die for. In this case, it was live forever for but only someone who suffered the world knew how difficult that was, how much giving up death could cost. Jasper was worth it. He was my forever so even when we fought, we'd make it through, we were forever, "I love you Jasper Whitlock."
"I love you."
After that day, Jasper and I spent a lot of time in the woods, until finally Char and Peter brought us to the neighbouring farm and told us they'd bought it for our family. Esme had helped Char with the renovation plans and the guys had done the work while they planned the furniture and paint. By the time Jasper and I saw it, it was ready for us to move in. Peter and Char had half the upstairs and Jasper and I had the other half. The attic was a library and the main floor was the living room, game room and a small kitchen no one would ever use.
It was September when Edward came. A full circle since he'd left me in September six years before.
The family was still angry with him. So was I but I also didn't want to change the past. What he did hurt, I hated him for it but it had also given me Paul, Luc and in the end, Jasper.
Carlisle called us when he arrived and asked us to come over for a family meeting.
We ran to the house, Jasper holding my right hand, Char my left and Pete holding her other hand. Inside everyone was already seated at the dining room table.
I walked over and kissed Carlisle's cheek. "Dad." I moved to kiss Esme as well, "Mom."
"Hello dear. How is the house?" Esme smiled at me.
"Wonderful." I beamed at her but looked away, "We might sort of need a new desk in the library though."
"And a new kitchen table." Peter chuckled.
"Yeah well the coffee table was you and so was the dent in Rosalie's Audie!" I shot back.
"Dent in my Audie!" Rosalie screeched.
"It's fine." Peter told her rolling his eyes, "I pushed it back out, its almost not even noticeable, no human would see it."
"Almost not noticeable! I'll not noticeable you, you Neanderthal!"
"I'll buy you a new one." Jasper told her sending calm into the room. "I threw him into it anyways."
"Oh." Rosalie sent him a smile, "It's alright Jazz, I'm sure I can fix it."
"Why don't you get mad at him?" Peter huffed.
Rosalie laughed, "He's my twin." She winked at me. "Besides, he bought it for me originally."
"Shall we sit please." Carlisle brought us back to the issue at hand and I looked over to Edward. HE growled as our eyes met.
"What the hell!" He spun on Carlisle, "Look what he's done to her!"
I hissed at him, "No one has done anything to me."
"He's ruined you! He should never have touched you. You were supposed to stay human!"
"I was supposed to make my own fucking choices Edward and I did. I don't give a flying fuck what you think about the decisions I made for my life."
"He damned your soul!"
"That's bullshit. I never believed it. Besides I'm already in heaven. Jasper is my eternal happiness."
"Even when he and Pete play Halo?" Char asked.
We exchanged a smile, "Just because I want to remove their thumbs once in a while doesn't mean I don't love them."
She laughed, "Just remove them, last week I wanted to burn them."
"What's wrong with Halo?" Emmett demanded.
"Nothing." Char and I shrugged, "It's when they move from the video game to live action fighting and tear apart our clean house playing who's the more bad ass soldier that I get annoyed."
"Who's more bad as? I thought they were playing mine's bigger than yours? I swear they were going to whip them out that last time." We laughed.
Edward growled, "Listen to her mouth! Was that the fucking dog or did he teach you to be vulgar as well as a killer?"
I jumped him. I was a controlled new born and only had four months left but I was still in my new born year and there were only so many buttons he could push.
"That dog was more of a man than you will ever be! And so you know, he fucked me in your field, twice."
Edward growled at me but I was still stronger through being a new born. "As for Jasper, he's taught me plenty, including how to rip off all of your limbs and pull apart every joint. You know it takes longer to heal if my venom gets in the wound? Believe me, you don't want to know the things Peter and Char have taught me. For starters, Peter taught me that if I put a piece of cloth soaked with venom between your healing limbs it will sit there, burning and while the arm fuses together around the venom cloth, you will lose some of your arm function until you remove the cloth, of course then you have to re-rip-off your arm. Jasper worries I'll suddenly freak out about his past so he doesn't like to give me details, my brother doesn't have that problem, he's shared a few secrets from hell with me, just in case I ever need them. Of course I could just let one of them have at you. You can get a taste of what hell really is. It's nothing less than you deserve, after all you cannot imagine the hell you sent me to." I growled at him and slammed his head into Esme's table, breaking the solid oak. "You stole them from me. Told them I didn't want them! That I wanted them to leave! You selfish bastard! How could you do that to me? To them? They trusted you! They believed you!"
"And so fucking easily to!" He hissed, "They only cared about you because I did! Jasper and Rosalie were ready to kill you the minute I exposed us by saving you at school!"
"They protected their family. They have honor and loyalty! What the fuck do you have you spoiled selfish little brat?"
"At least I'm not a murderer! How can you stand to look in the mirror? Better you were dead. I should have drained you, better to have sent you to heaven still pure than to see you damned having fucked a dog, gotten knocked up by some nobody cop whose own parents didn't want him and then see you turned into a monster while fucking a demon!"
I ripped off his arms, venom coating my mouth as I growled at him, "Yes I fucked Paul, every where and every way and then begged him for more. Stop by La Push some time, before the wolves tear you apart I'm sure they'll give you a show from what they dug out of Paul's mind. Hell Seth, Leah and Jared all saw us at it at least once. Luc was my husband, he wasn't a nobody, he was a cop, he protected people just like Charlie did." I slammed his head into the table again, the break continued down the table. I did it again and the table snapped in half. "They are both dead now. Dead because you are a prick!" I laughed bitterly, "No, not a prick, I don't think you even have one you spineless shit. If you do, I doubt you know how to use it. Jasper does. He fucks me daily. Him, his demon and whatever other sides of his personality are in that beautiful man. God of War, Bringer of Death, The Major, Jasper Whitlock, Jasper Cullen-Hale, I love all of him. He can do anything and I will still stand by his side and scream his name when he enters me. He can go back to being a vegetarian or start fully feeding on people, that's his choice, just like its mine. We support each other, trust in each other and always respect each other. I might love it when he dominates me but he never tries to control me. You don't control the people you love. You don't make decisions for them or manipulate them and you don't throw tantrums and hurt them when you don't get your way you fucking child!"
"Bella." Jasper called my name and instantly I went into his arms.
Edward was sobbing. The venom was flowing out of his shoulder sockets. One arm was on the ground next to him, the other in the far corner.
"Do you want me to kill him?"
I shook my head, "No. Killing him is revenge not vengeance and it will only hurt the family in the long run. He should live with what he's done."
He nodded, "If you don't calm down I will kill him."
I placed my hand against his cheek, I could feel his turmoil as he fought his demon. I was hurt and angry. He had to fight the part of him that wanted to protect me, to keep me from ever feeling pain. He let me take out my anger but it was consuming him and soon he would snap and simply kill Edward for upsetting me.
I leaned into him, "I'm ok Jasper."
I fed him calm, breathing in his scent and remembering all of the moments where he had brought me perfect peace simply by being beside me. I felt his body relax slightly as the intensity of the rage in him began to fade.
It was still high. The Cullen's were still feeding his own rage but mine was the hardest for him.
I looked back at the sobbing Edward, breathing in Jasper's scent I felt only pity for him now, "Why Edward? Please. Tell me why? What made you so hateful? How could you take the family away from me? How can you blame me for moving on with my life when you demanded I do it? You left me broken and alone on a forest floor. Did you want me to curl up and die?"
"I loved you." He pushed out. His voice contorted with pain, both physical and emotional.
I shook my head, "You wanted to control me, to make me into someone you could love, then when it got hard, you ran away."
"He tried to kill you."
"You all wanted my blood that day. Except Carlisle. He's just special. But you're vampires Edward. I bled. It wasn't his fault, wasn't any of your faults for craving my blood."
"I wanted to kill you. To drain you! I had to protect you from us. I loved you and nearly lost it. It would be so easy for them to. How could I keep putting you in danger? Every time I brought you there I put you in danger."
"They loved me Edward. You hurt all of us by your lies."
"I was protecting you!"
I shook my head, "You should have given me the choice. It was mine to make. My life. It was also theirs. You had no right to separate us, to lie like that."
"You don't understand."
"Understand what Edward? That vampires are dangerous? I understand more than anyone." I lifted my wrist. "I thought love was worth the risk. That this family was worth it. Why wasn't I worth it Edward?"
"I loved you. I love you."
I shook my head, more sad than angry now. "You still need to learn what love is."
"I need to?" His black eyes flashed replacing pain with anger. "As soon as I left you fucked that dog!"
"When you left I was nearly catatonic. Sam found me in the woods and carried me home late that night. For weeks I barely ate or moved. Charlie nearly institutionalized me so I started to try to live for him but for months I was a zombie. I didn't eat or sleep much and when I did I was sick and had nightmares. Finally I found something. A connection. When I was about to do something reckless I heard your voice. I knew I was going crazy but I didn't care. The only thing you left me with so that I knew any of it was real, that it had happened, was the scar on my wrist from James. I found a couple of motor bikes and brought them to Jacob in La Push. We fixed them together and along the way he began to heal me. It wasn't until he phased and Laurent came after me that I learned about the wolves. Paul hated me for loving your family. I guess it's a thin line between love and hate because out of that hate we came to love each other. He did heal me. He brought me back to life, taught me to really live. When he died a part of my soul died. That was your fault. Victoria came for me just like Jasper told you she would. She had Charlie killed and her army killed Collin, he was just a kid, and Paul, she killed the man who brought me to life after you shattered me."
"I only meant to protect you."
"You didn't. You only hurt me. Hurt the whole family. Since then you've been nothing but bitter and spiteful. What you did, destroying my few precious memories like that, it was hateful Edward. It was one of the cruelest things a person could do. You broke me once, wasn't that enough? Did you really want to break me a second time? Break this family a second time?"
He shook his head, "I never."
"No." I cut him off, "You never meant to hurt me back then, you never meant to hurt the family but you did. You still haven't learned." I sighed, sad. "Jasper is my mate. I love him. I hope you come to accept not only what I am now and what choices I made with my life but also that you come to accept and respect who I am. He won't burn you. He wants to. I can feel it. He won't though. He loves this family too much to hurt them like that." I turned to my vampire parents, "We have to go. It's just too much. Come over later if you like but I think its best if there is a little space between our family and Edward for a while."
Carlisle and Esme nodded.
"I'll come to. I don't think it will go well if I stay." Alice looked over at us. "If that's alright, for me to come, or I could drive to the city to shop."
"Always welcome Pixie." Jasper told her. He wasn't able to smile yet. The negative emotions were still clinging to him.
"Come on Alice. Jasper and I broke the dresser in the closet and I have no idea where to put our things."
She laughed, "You two break more furniture than Emmett and Rose."
"Stop buying us such delicate furniture then." I told her sticking out my tongue.
She laughed and took my hand, "Rosalie and Esme will be over later to so we can look for some new stuff. You have that whole rustic cabin style so maybe we can find you some really sold furniture. Rosalie and Emmett need a new bedframe to and Esme a new table."
"Right," I turned to Esme, "Sorry about that. I'll replace it."
She shook her head, "Don't worry about it Bella. I've been regretting the choices I made in this room anyways. I've really come to hate the curtains."
I smiled at her while Alice giggled, "I meant the table in her and Carlisle's room but yeah, this one too."
""Ew! Parent sex!" I laughed teasing them. I knew Carlisle would be blushing if he were human.
Jasper, Alice and I ran back home.
"Pete and Char needed to have a word with him."
"Peter will keep her from burning him." He said with a shrug.
I snorted, "My brother is as likely to burn him as my sister."
"Yeah well, Emmett will stop him. It wont take much to remind him its not what you want."
"It would hurt Carlisle and esme. However made they are, they still love him and I do believe he can change. He can learn from the past, he just has to want to learn to change."
Jasper shrugged, "Maybe in time."
Alice nodded, "He'll always be a spoiled, control freak, but he does learn to be less selfish."
Jasper and I grinned at her, "Never bet against the Pixie." We said in unison.
She looked away.
"Alice." She met my eyes, "I told you. I knew I'd have a happy future. You told me I would. You told me we'd be best friends, that I'd be a vampire and our family would be together. Here I am, facing my happy future with Jasper, with my best friend and our family. It was a long road home and a difficult journey but we all made it. We have our happy future just like you said."
She hugged me, "You're right. I've learned to rely less on my visions but they still do make some difference if they at least gave you hope."
"Hope got me through a lot of dark days Alice." I replied hugging her back.
Alice was right. Over the next couple years the turmoil in the family subsided. Edward and I became friends, not close ones but still, it was a huge step. As she had seen he was still a spoiled brat a lot of the time who always thought he knew what was best but he wasn't as self absorbed and judgmental and when Peter finally gave him back his right pinkie and his left middle finger they grew to politely tolerate each other again. Char still really disliked him but like her mate was distantly polite. Emmett and Peter became great friends, Carlisle and Jasper became confidents, Rose, Esme and Char bonded over classic movies and Alice taught me to like shopping and expand my style to include heals (which I could now walk in) and even a few dresses for when we went out. While I taught her comfort could be meshed with fashion and not all fads were worth trying.
By my ten-year vampire birthday we were living in Northern Scotland, we had bought a 30,000 square foot mansion on a lake. Each of us had our own wing in the house. I used to think the size of the Cullen's homes was excessive but living with vampires you needed the space. We all wanted to live together but we needed privacy which was hard to come by with vampire senses and occasionally our own space so limbs didn't get removed. There were a lot of personalities in one house so space was important.
"Some one is coming." Peter told me coming into the room.
"Who?" I asked smiling at my brother.
He shrugged, "Something important is happening though. A change is coming."
"What kind of change?" Char asked her mate holding he hand out to him so he would go sit beside her.
He shrugged again sitting and pulling her into his lap, "The last time I felt this, we met Bella."
I giggled, "Only Edward and Alice are still single."
"I hope its Alice." Char sighed.
"I'd be happy for either of them."
"You want it to be Alice to." Jasper grinned at me walking into the room as well.
I shrugged grinning back, "Eddie and I are fine now but Alice is…"
"Special?" He winked at me.
I nodded laughing, "Yeah, Alice is special."
"Let's just hope this one comes with less drama." Rosalie sighed coming in as well.
"If she is Eddie's I just hope she's already a vamp. You were fun human Bells but he can't handle that again." Emmett wrapped an arm around Rosalie.
We laughed and began trying to guess what their mates might be like.
Peter though Alice would have a short, burly Scotsman, Emmett said that was more likely Edward's mate.
Char said Edward would likely find a prim and proper british nanny type. Rose thought he'd fall for more of an opposite, a Swedish masseuse maybe.
We were laughing like mad when Alice came to our wing.
"Carlisle and Esme will be home in a few minutes." Alice told us, "They are bringing someone."
"Male or female?" Jasper asked with a wide smile.
"Like that will tell us anything." Peter told him making Emmett laugh.
Alice looked from one to another of us, "Is this about why I see him returning to France with Bella and Jasper in tow?"
"France?" It must be Alice's mate. Maybe that was why she was drawn to Paris.
"Well here we go again." Rose sighed but smiled at Alice. "The peace was nice while it lasted. Just try not to see to much to soon or to little to late."
We all laughed at that.
Alice rolled her eyes, "You've all gone mental today. I see what I see when I see it. What I see is this sexy….er… French vamp coming with Carlisle and Esme so let's go greet them."
"Here we go, everybody grab your mate, it could be a long road home again." Emmett jumped up with Rosalie in his arms.
Peter hiked Char over his shoulder. "Got her!"
I laughed and jumped into Jaspers arms, wrapping my legs around his waist to kiss him. Any journey we took together, long or short, any adventure, good or bad. All I really needed was him. He was home for me and the road to him had been worth it. He was worth everything.