Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters, Ryan Murphy and Fox do. I also don't own the song "Crucify" by Tori Amos.

Warnings: In this chapter there is some strong language, references to underage drinking, references to nicotine use, and psychological issues (eating disorder, mood disorder, and cutting). Also there is most likely some OOC. This also doesn't completely (some parts do) adhere to the season three canon. There are also most likely errors that I missed, because that's how I am.

Summary: After he suffers a nervous breakdown as demons from his past reemerge to haunt him, Blaine's life starts to fall apart as slowly he loses everything that he holds dear. But once someone falls that far, can they ever get back what they've lost?


Blaine walked down the hallway. This was a totally new place. No one knew here. He was able to walk down the hall knowing that this was his chance at a normal life. For one in the past few months he was free from all of the torment and all of the looks. He was able to be Blaine Anderson, not Razor Blaine and it seemed like everything was going to be going his way. Although he felt naked and alone, he knew that the feeling would soon dissolve as he fell into the background.

He walked to the locker that he was assigned, relishing in the fact that most of the school didn't know who he was. He watched as Finn walked by, but didn't even look over at him. He most likely didn't recognize Blaine without the blazer. Smiling, he opened his locker. The first day was going to be a cakewalk.

"Blaine?" he looked over to see Rachel walking up to him, he retracted his last thought. "Is that you?"

He smiled as he looked into her eyes, trying to act as normal as possible even though he could feel an uncomfortable cocktail of chemicals running through his nerves. He had to act natural, he had to. "Hey Rachel…"

She moved forward to hug him. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at Dalton Academy?"

He rolled his eyes at her stupidity. "I'm not wearing my uniform," he turned to her to expose his outfit. "I'm using a locker," he motioned toward said locker. "Do you understand what that means? I go here now…"

Her eyes lit up as she was speechless for a few seconds. "Wait? Are you serious?"

He nodded as he moved his attention back to his locker, trying to ignore as she practically jumped for joy. "I hope so. Otherwise my parents are going to skin me alive. This was a very costly, time consuming, emotionally taxing practical joke. I think that me moving two hours away from home would be the last thing that I wanted to do as an April Fool's joke."

"It's October, Blaine," Rachel leaned up against the lockers. "Does Kurt know?"

He nodded hoping to keep this conversation shallow, not wanting to go into too much depth. "He helped me move. He was the one who convinced me to come to this cesspool," he closed his locker before leaning up against it. "You're the first person who noticed me all day. I mean if you don't count Puckerman doing a double take, but he most likely thought he was having a hallucination."

Rachel laughed as he ran her hand down his shoulder. "So are you joining New Directions? Like I said, we could really use your voice. You're really talented, probably one of the most talented guys I've ever met. We could really use your upbeat voice and your electric stage presence, not to mention your charming schoolboy looks."

He chuckled as he heard those words. "I think I'm obligated to…"

"Why?" Rachel was fully engaged in this conversation.

Blaine closed his eyes as he remembered the scenario from yesterday. After a long drive, he and Kurt shared a moment that was going to change their relationship forever. Kurt had never been that intimate with him before— so close, so vulnerable— and it changed the face of their relationship. After they had finished their intimate encounter and Blaine was forced to rinse with copious amounts of mouthwash, Kurt had told him that there was no way that Blaine was getting out of joining New Directions. It was all worth it just to hear the noises that Kurt was making, to feel his muscles tense as he was brought closer to the edge, to taste the flavor of his flesh as he fully gave in— it was a fair trade.

"Let's just say that I owe it to him," Blaine tightened his hand on the strap of his messenger bag, trying to hide the shaking of his hands as his body was screaming at him for comfort— for his pills. "Anyway, you can tell your boyfriend not to worry. I'm not going to commandeer the vessel known as the New Directions. I'm just here for a change of scenery…" he knew what she was going to ask next before she even said anything. He couldn't let her get the best of him. "My parents are separated and my mother wants me to live with her for a while. She said that she missed me. So I gave in. The woman was going to press charges if my father didn't relinquish me."

"Sounds intense," Rachel watched as Blaine started to walk down the hallway.

"Oh it is intense, but my father always wins in the end. He's a highly successful attorney who has never lost a case. Long story short, he can convince people to do anything he wants them to," he walked down the hallway hurriedly to try to get away from her. "I have to get to class. Just because I'm the new kid, doesn't mean that I can freeload on my first day."

"Why are you avoiding me? You've been kind of short lately, and not just with me, with anyone who tries to talk to you," she still followed him as she continued to cross the line with her inquisition. "The last time we talked you barely paid attention to me when I asked you questions. I talked to Kurt about you and he didn't say anything. What's going on between the two of you? Are you two okay?"

Blaine knew that the first day at a new school was going to be tough, but he never thought that it was going to be absolutely painful. The more that Rachel talked the more he wanted to slap her across the face. The more she pried, the more he wished she would go away. If Rachel knew, the whole school would know in no time and there was no way that he could survive another breakdown. He stopped as he looked behind him to see her.

"Nothing," he turned to walk down the hall. "We're fine, Rachel." It was going to be a long day.

He continued his walk as he watched Kurt talking to Mercedes. He hadn't even said hello to him since they drove to school together. He was ignoring him. He didn't even look at him as he passed by. Blaine wanted to wave, he wanted to cut in one their conversation, but he knew that he was just going to be iced out. So he went his lonely voyage down the hallways as he was completely ignored. At Dalton at least then people would have acknowledged him in the first ten minutes he was here. McKinley was different, he could set himself on fire and no one would turn their head. This was going to be the end of Razor Blaine. He could finally rest in peace.

OOOOO

Quinn walked to her locker as she watched Puck pass her. The whole school year he was unable to take his eyes off of her. After last year, she thought that there would be nothing between them. They had broken up before junior year had started and they had walked different paths. She walked the road with Sam Evans, whereas he found comfort in Lauren Zizes. They were with people that were the complete opposite of each other. As she made her way to her locker she took a deep breath. There were only a few more months to go through before they graduated.

Then the last person she wanted to talk to right now came up to her. "Hey Quinn," Santana leaned up against the lockers. "Did you hear the rumor?"

"What rumor?" Quinn rolled her eyes. "I have no time for games, Santana…"

Santana was never one to drag anything out, it was always quick with her. "Blanderson is at McKinley. I saw him walking down the hallway. I could recognize that tight ass from anywhere," she smiled as she shrugged her shoulders. "Are you ready for our plan?"

"You mean seducing him into the New Directions?" Quinn closed her locker as she looked over at Santana. "Isn't that what you do the best?"

"Yeah, but he won't trust me," her voice was thick with an evil that Quinn didn't know was humanly possible. "You however have that sweet, girl next door innocence. He'll fall for that and he'll follow you like a lost puppy. You could tell him to jump off of a cliff and he would do it."

"I don't know. This sounds a little shady," Quinn took a deep breath, trying her hardest to back out of this plan while it was still young and Blaine was still in one piece. "Are you sure he's not going to get hurt?"

"How is he going to get hurt? If anything Finn's the one who's going to get hurt," it was obvious that Santana hadn't though this plan through as it was obvious that Blaine could get hurt if Finn got pissed enough.

Quinn knew that she was a heartless person. She had hurt dozens of people in her high school reign. Yet in the end, all of that pain got her nothing. She was alone. Her senior year was supposed to be her last chance at humanity, and slowly it was fading away as Santana pried it from her for their own selfish gains. She looked around to see if Blaine was anywhere in sight to get it over with, but she didn't see him. This was her last chance to make something of herself. This was her last chance to be a part of something special. Having Blaine at the top would make her special. And as long as he didn't get hurt there she wouldn't lose the shred of innocence that she had left.

"Where is he now?" Quinn asked, knowing that this was a really bad idea. She was taking a bite of the forbidden apple, too stupid to spit it out because it tasted so good. "You said that you saw him, right?"

Santana smiled as she knew she had won again. "He's at lunch with Hummel. You wait for Hummel to leave and you walk up to him and you befriend him, seduce him. Do whatever it takes for him to listen to you. And then you get him to sing a kickass song in glee club today that will make Finn tremble in his oversized pants," she turned to walk away. "Don't let me down, Fabray…"

Quinn nodded as she knew that this was plan was now in motion. Somehow, deep down on the inside, she knew someone was going to get hurt.

OOOOO

Honestly, lunch wasn't much better. Although Kurt had managed to get him to sit with Mercedes and Tina as opposed to his dream to sit all by himself in the corner he still felt like he was being judged. Tina would periodically look over at him to smile whereas Mercedes was staring him down with the hopes that he would spontaneously combust. He nervously took a sip of water as he tried to be invisible the whole time.

"So you actually got Blaine to transfer?" Mercedes was still looking over at him as he took another nervous sip. "I thought we were supposed to leave him alone or you'd quit…"

"Let's just say that I used my powers of persuasion to get him to leave Dalton and come with me to McKinley. I didn't think that our budding love was going to be able to survive the two hours between us or the fact that his show choir was going to tear us a new one," Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulders as if trying to make him feel involved in the conversation, but failing as Blaine was unable to get a word in. "Now that he's here we may have a chance at annihilating the Warblers."

"Don't get ahead of yourselves," Blaine whispered into his water bottle before taking another sip.

The meal continued in silence as Kurt was hurriedly eating food that Blaine never thought that he ate. Hot dogs and French fries were the last things that Blaine ever saw his boyfriend shove down his throat. Watching intently as he stuffed more food into his face, gulping it down without even chewing it more than twice, Blaine knew that there was something going on with him. Mercedes and Tina didn't seem to care as they kept talking about what they were going to be doing after school. He could feel the pressure slowly building inside of him as he felt like he was a stranger in a strange land. Breath was starting to catch in his throat as he knew that he was in Hell. The first day and he was already on the verge of a panic attack.

Suddenly Kurt clutched his stomach. "I ate too fast…"

Blaine broke out of his stupor. "Are you okay?"

Kurt shook his head. "I'm gonna puke…" he got out of his seat making his way toward the exit of the cafeteria. Panic set into Blaine as he realized that he was going to be alone in a crowd of people he didn't know.

"Wait!" Blaine looked at Mercedes and Tina and then back at Kurt, his breathing erratic as more panic washed over him. "I'll go with you…"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Hearing me puke isn't exactly on my list of things that I want you to do…" he placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder, rubbing his gently. "I'll be right back. I just need to go puke and then we can talk…"

As Kurt walked away, Blaine watched as Mercedes and Tina got out of their seats to follow him. Now the only two people that he was familiar with in his general vicinity were leaving. He really was alone. "Where are you going?"

"To help Kurt," Tina answered.

"You'll be fine here by yourself right?" Mercedes put on her best fake smile. "After all, you must be used to being by yourself. You don't really have the most glowing of personalities, I can't imagine that you do well at making friends," she moved closer to him as Tina walked away, Blaine could feel a chill as he looked into her eyes. "I don't trust you…" she moved closer still. "I don't trust you as far as I can throw you and I doubt I can throw you that far. You come here all smiles and giggles, but I want you to know one thing: this show choir means the world to Kurt so if this is part of a large elaborate plan to get us out of the way I want you to get your yoga toned ass back to Dalton…"

Blaine held back and outburst as his arm started to burn, the pressure building up. "I am taking this seriously. I want you to know there's no ulterior motive. I'm taking this very seriously. I know what this is all about, Mercedes," he took a deep breath as he tried to gather the correct words without going crazy on her. "And I think that we should squash this irrational argument before it escalates into something we'll both regret."

"You have no idea what this is about…" she moved to walk by him, bumping forcefully into his shoulder as she did.

He let out a deep breath as he fought the urge to scream and chase after her. All day he was getting stares from the New Directions. The same people who had been tweeting and texting him for months were now wondering what the hell he was doing at their school. No doubt they thought he was going to single handedly turn their club into "The Blaine Anderson Show featuring the New Directions." He finished off his water bottle before he grabbed one of the French fries that Kurt left behind in his savage feeding frenzy. All of a sudden tetanus sounded like the least of his troubles. One fry turned into several as he fed his anxiety, his mouth now full of potatoes as the pressure started to subside.

He was broken out of his stupor when he heard someone sit down. "Hey…"

Looking up at who it was, he swallowed hard on his mouthful of fries before trying to struggle for the words to say her name. Out of all of the people at McKinley, she was the last one who he ever expected to talk to him. She was the only one who hadn't contacted him. The only one who never said more than a few sentences to him. He struggled for words as she smiled at him, moving closer.

"I heard you were here…" her smile sent chills down his spine. "So the rumors are true: Blaine Anderson has graced us with his godly presence."

"Quinn," he choked on her name as he found himself awkwardly gawking at her, his body temperature rising. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Everything that he could have been doing wrong came flashing through his mind. "Am I sitting in your seat? You can have it back," he was rambling as he scrambled to get away from the table. "I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to intrude…"

Quinn chuckled as she watched him, grabbing his wrist tightly. "Relax Blaine. I'm not going to eat you…"

"I'm sorry, I've just heard a lot of rumors that you've given up on humanity," he watched as she looked away from him, his words no doubt striking a very sensitive nerve. "But you haven't really changed that much in my opinion. Still beautiful, still smart, still powerful, still Quinn…"

He moved back to the table both of them taking deep breaths. "How much crap have you gotten on your first day?"

Blaine shook his head. "Rachel is practically asking me to marry her, Kurt is ignoring me, Finn keeps giving me death glares, and Mercedes just threatened me," he took a quick sip of Kurt's water bottle before looking over at her. "All in all, I'm having a shitty day."

Quinn laughed as she moved closer to him. "They're all just shocked to see that you actually transferred— I know I am," she smiled again, sending chills down Blaine's spine. "I thought you were having fun at Dalton…"

"I was," he wanted to tell her so much. If there was one person at McKinley who could understand what he was going through, it was Quinn Fabray. He wanted to tell her about his breakdowns, about his mood swings, about his dark past, but he couldn't let anyone but Kurt know. He had to stay positive and in the dark until December. "But I have my reasons for transferring…"

"We all have our demons," Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "We don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. God knows I've been through shit that people my age would never imagine going through at my age," she held her water bottle close to her as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "But if anything gets too tough for you, I want you to know that I will listen to you, okay?"

He nodded as he took another sip of water. "Thank you…"

"You wanna ditch lunch?" she asked as she took a deep breath. "We can go for a walk off of school grounds or go under the bleachers and have a smoke…"

Blaine's mouth hung open as he heard those words, suddenly he wanted a cigarette. "You smoke?"

"Occasionally," she shrugged her shoulders. "Takes some of the edge off of the day and it's better than drinking. I've made some really bad choices when I drink…"

"Haven't we all?" His past flashed before his eyes, all of the images in his head involved him holding some sort of bottle of alcohol.

She took a deep breath as she moved to caress his thigh with her hand. "Want to get out of here and just unwind?"

Blaine took a deep breath. He should have waited for Kurt. Yet at the same time, the whole day Kurt had been abandoning him, ignoring him, choosing his friends over him even though he knew that Blaine was going to be having a tough first day. He moved to grasp her hand and smiled as he looked into her eyes. This was the first bad decision that he knew he was going to make at McKinley.

"Okay," he stood up, leaving the mess of food and tray behind as he grasped her hand. "Let's go…"

OOOOO

Kurt walked out of the stall as the toilet flushed as he walked toward the sink. He took a deep breath as he realized that this was getting out of hand. The sound of running water was all that he had to block out the fact that he had just abandoned his boyfriend in a cafeteria with a group of people he didn't know, his un-medicated boyfriend who had psychotic mood swings alone in a room full of people who had no idea what he was capable of.

Again, his disorder took control of his life. He should have been spending lunch with Blaine, but his dreams seemed more important. In only a few weeks he was to be in New York to audition for Juilliard. He had to look his best. He had to beat Rachel out. He had to get this or his dreams were going to be crushed. As much as he loved Blaine, he couldn't let his dreams pass by, he couldn't let him down. He had to keep doing this until he finally won in the end, until he got everything he wanted.

As he turned off the sink, he heard laughter pass the bathroom door. He knew that laugh. He heard that laugh everyday of his life before the drama started to overflow. Someone was making Blaine laugh and they were walking right by the bathroom. He wiped his mouth as he ran as fast as he could out the door. There practically skipping down the hallway was his boyfriend, his arm wrapped around Quinn Fabray.

"Blaine?" Kurt walked into the hallway, practically running after them before they came to a full stop. "Where are you going?"

Blaine smiled as he took a deep breath. Kurt hated it when Blaine was bluntly honest. This was one time where he wished his boyfriend would lie to him again.. "We're going to get a cig and shoot the shit."

Kurt's heart broke at those words. "A cig? Like a cigarette?" Blaine nodded as a smile formed on his face "I thought we weren't smoking anymore? I thought that we were better than that…"

"It's just one cigarette, Kurt," Blaine rolled his eyes as he tightened his arm around Quinn, Kurt's eyes falling on her, disgust rising in his body as he knew that she was somehow behind this. "Besides, I got me a new friend… you did want me to make friends didn't you. Seeing as Mercedes and Tina abandoned me, Quinn here was nice enough to keep me company. Now like friends we're going to go have a cigarette and talk like pals."

Kurt looked over at Quinn. She was up to something. For the whole school year, Quinn barely spoke to anyone. Now he she was, gallivanting down the hallway with her black painted fingernails all over his man. He knew he shouldn't be jealous of girls having their hands all over his homosexual boyfriend, but after the instance with Rachel last year, he was wary of having any gender close to his boyfriend. He looked at Quinn and then back at Blaine. He knew he could get past this.

"I appreciate that you have friends, but I don't think you should be smoking," he moved forward to place a hand on Blaine's shoulder looking straight into his eyes. "I'll see you at glee practice."

He moved forward to place a kiss on Blaine's lips, his eyes looking straight at Quinn before he deepened the kiss. Quinn was unfazed by it and looked at it like it was an everyday occurrence. Blaine's arm moved from Quinn to wrap around Kurt, a small moan passing his lips as he was getting a little too into it. He slid his tongue past Kurt's lips as he slowly moved to push Kurt up against the wall.

"Okay, that's enough…" he pushed Blaine away as he looked around the hallway to see if anyone saw that. The last thing he needed was for Blaine to get into trouble for making out with another guy in the middle of the hallways of one of the most homophobic schools in Ohio. "Go have fun, but no smoking!"

Blaine nodded before wrapping his arm around Quinn again, making his way down the hallway, his eyes looking back at Kurt. Suddenly, Kurt was kicking himself for ignoring him all day. It was only a matter of time before one of the "Unholy Trinity" was able to scoop him up. He had his money on Santana, but Quinn was just as bad, and more evil. Santana was very openly evil whereas Quinn was a lot more subdued. He took a deep breath as he knew that in the end, Blaine was going to get hurt.

OOOOO

By the time rehearsal came, Kurt was already worried. Blaine had disappeared with Quinn and he had shown no signs of coming back. Under normal circumstances, he would have been fine. These were not normal circumstances. His un-medicated, beer chugging, cigarette smoking, horny boyfriend had just disappeared and he wasn't answering any of Kurt's text messages. In his mind he was already planning his missing boyfriend posters, hoping that he could find a good picture that would really represent just how good looking Blaine Anderson was.

Then as he was ready to call the police, Blaine came sauntering in with Quinn.

"He's here!" Quinn cheered as several of the members of the club ran down to give Blaine a hug. Mercedes, Finn, and Kurt opted out of the hug as they were confused as to what was going on with Blaine. He was a little more happy than usual, his eyes were glittering as he laughed, his arms wrapped tightly around Rachel as he practically lifted her off of the floor.

"Okay, okay," Blaine smiled as they got back to their seats. "Thank you, thank you. It's an honor to be here really. We're all going to win Nationals this year," he looked over at Quinn and then at the rest of the club, his eyes meeting Kurt's sending chills down the older boy's spine as it was an intense glare. "I know that you all know I can sing. I mean I was your competition last year…"

"Blaine, just get to the point," Quinn whispered in Blaine's ear, keeping a smile on her face. Kurt was really starting not to like their relationship. Quinn was way to hands on with her boyfriend and it was only his first day of school.

"Right," he nodded as he took a deep breath, trying desperately to compose himself before finally getting to the point of his speech. "I have prepared a song for you… as a way to transition into your group…"

"Katy Perry?" Mike asked with a smile.

"Uh no," Blaine looked at his feet with a grin before looking back up, continuing with his introduction. "Something a little more mature than that…"

"P!nk?" Artie was just as unhelpful as Mike was.

Before Blaine could get another word in Mike spoke up again. "Taylor Swift?"

Blaine shook his head, trying to get to the point. "No, I picked a song that I like to listen to when I'm feeling down, a song that has really helped me over the past few weeks with some personal affairs that you all no doubt have heard about. This song gives me strength; it helps me understand that things are going to get better…"

"Is it about being gay?" Puck asked, gaining a scoff from Quinn. "What? He said it gets better…"

Blaine ignored their spat and kept talking. "It's a song that's about a personal struggle but as I said in the end it gets better," he looked over his shoulder at the band. "Remember the song that we talked about?" they nodded as he took a deep breath before the music started to the selection that he had made

Kurt took a deep breath as he knew that he was talking about. Without saying anything Blaine was revealing to everyone about his difficult transition into potentially having a more severe mental illness, hating himself, and how everyone around him was struggling to come to terms with it. As he looked into his lover's eyes, Kurt could feel the tears pooling in his own. Even now, after falling off the wagon and having a cigarette, Blaine was the bravest person that he knew. Kurt sat back and waited for the song.

"Every finger in the room is pointing at me,

I wanna spit in their faces, then I get afraid of what that could bring.

I got a bowling ball in my stomach. I got a desert in my mouth,

Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now."

Kurt knew this song. He heard Blaine humming it in the car on the way to the psychiatrist, every morning when he was at his house, when they drove to school this morning. This song was everywhere Blaine was. It was practically his anthem. Kurt could feel the tears in his eyes as he looked around at all of the smiling faces who were fascinated by Blaine's insane talent, not at the fact that this song had a deeper meaning, that this song was the only thing that was keeping him from drowning. Kurt rested his hand over his chest as he watched Quinn stand by him. He was trying to get past the jealousy.

Rachel was looking longingly at Blaine as she mouthed the words that he was singing, impressed with the raw emotion that was in the notes emitting from his mouth. Kurt watched as Finn's arm tightened on Rachel as he was clearly threatened by this, slowly he could see his crown fading away as Blaine and his damn talent stole the whole room.

"I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets,

Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets.

I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in,

Just what God needs, one more victim."

Kurt closed his eyes as all of the moments that they shared flashed through his memories. He remembered the day when he first saw the cut on Blaine's hand, the helplessness that was in his eyes as he begged Kurt to continue loving him, to see him as something special, to see him as the same person that he fell in love with. Blaine was the person who he was in love with. No matter what happened, he would always be the person that he was in love with.

"Why do we crucify ourselves?

Every day I crucify myself.

And nothing I do is good enough for you,

I crucify myself,

My heart is sick being oh my heart is sick of being in chains."

As he watched everyone around the room smile and whisper to each other he knew that Blaine was going to fit right in. Never had Blaine done a song that was so emotional, so naked. It was like they were hearing Blaine for the first time and not the glitz that he was so famous for. As they sang along with him, Kurt knew that all of his worries of Blaine falling into the darkness was starting to go away.

"Got a kick for a dog, begging for love,

I gotta have my suffering so that I can have my cross.

I know a cat named Easter he says 'Will you never learn?

You're just an empty cage, boy, if you kill the bird.'"

Kurt stood up and walked down to stand by Blaine as his boyfriend kept singing, to get closer to him, looking him in the eyes before more of them started making their way to the choir room floor, getting into the performance in their usual New Directions way, Mercedes and Finn still sitting in their chairs as more filtered to front and center.

Kurt could see the jealousy in their eyes as he knew what it meant for them. Mercedes would be getting even less solos than she already was getting and Finn would be dethroned and Blaine would get all of the solos with Rachel. Kurt ignored them as he wrapped his arm around his boyfriend as he continued to sing.

"I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets,

Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets.

I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in,

Got enough guilt to start my own religion."

Blaine's singing caused an awakening in Kurt. As he watched him sing, he felt closer to him. He was seeing a whole new side to him that he didn't even know existed. With his arm wrapped tight around Blaine's waist as everyone sang along with him, Kurt knew that this was the person that he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. He sang along with everyone as he knew that they finally had a chance of winning the whole competition. For once everything was going right for them. They were on top of their game. That was until Kurt noticed something that made his bones freeze in fear.

"Why do we crucify ourselves?

Every day I crucify myself.

And nothing I do is good enough for you,

I crucify myself.

Every day I crucify myself,

My heart is sick being. I said my heart is sick of being in chains."

Finn was clearly threatened by the vocal runs and the perfect notes that came from Blaine's lips. He was now sitting in his chair, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he looked at Rachel who was right next to Blaine, singing her heart out. Kurt noticed, hoping that nothing violent would come out of this, hoping that Finn was a big enough man to not attack Blaine just because he was a good singer. Kurt looked at Finn and then back at Blaine. This was one feud that would never end well.

"Please be,

Save me,

I cry."

Kurt's fear of a Finn and Blaine face off was murdered as he looked at another interaction in the room. As Quinn was singing back up for Blaine as he continued with the song, she was smiling at Santana. Kurt didn't know what was going on between the two of them, he just knew that he didn't like it. Nothing good ever came out of the two of them spending time with one another. Holding onto Blaine tighter, he ignored the two of them focusing on the notes that Blaine was singing, feeling the breath filter in and out of his lungs with every note.

"I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets,

Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets.

I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in,

Where are those angels when you need them?"

Finn faltered as Blaine hit the high notes, threatened by the power and presence of Blaine and the spell that he had cast over the glee club. His eyes followed everyone as they circled around Blaine singing with him, smiling at him. It was all going away. Slowly the dynamic that the New Directions had slowly disappeared, they had become the Warblers— mindlessly smiling and giggling around Blaine.

"Why do we crucify ourselves?

Every day I crucify myself.

And nothing I do is good enough for you,

I crucify myself.

My heart is sick being. I said my heart is sick of being in chains."

As the song came to a close, everyone wrapped their arms around Blaine, holding him closely as they exclaimed their happiness and their hopes for winning the whole competition. As Kurt embraced his boyfriend tightly, he knew one thing was certain. After seeing every moment that they shared from the staircase at Dalton to this moment right here, Kurt knew that he was madly in love with Blaine Anderson. Watching Blaine sing that song, such a personal song that left him so naked and exposed, watching him be so honest with himself instead of hiding behind the glitter and bubblegum of his Top 40 choices made Kurt know one thing: everything was checked off his list— he was ready.


This chapter in my opinion is the weakest of the seventeen, but I still liked it. I used the song "Crucify" because I thought it described the sitaution that Blaine is going through as well as the fact that I LOVE that song. Also at the end, yes that means that Kurt is ready for sex with Blaine.

This chapter also brought to light a lot of the feuds that will be going on in the group as the stort progresses.

The next chapter will be Kurt and Blaine discussing Kurt's trip to New York as well as them thinking about making a huge decision.

Feel free to leave feedback.

Side note: Loved Blaine's flip out in the last episode of Glee, really got me in the mood to write this story... Blaine's anger issues are SO canon.