Disclaimer: I own nothing.
AN: Spoilers of Catching Fire and Mockingjay. Hope you like it, please review.
Overcome Your Fears
I was once again trapped inside my shared room with Johanna. I hated being so far underground, but after the Capitol's bombing destroyed the upper facilities of District 13 we had no choice but to stay here.
I was laying down on my bad thinking about Johanna, remembering the first time we spoke on the day the Quarter Quell begun. She was outraged about the fact that once again the tribute from District 7 had to dress as a tree and she began to strip right then and there. I felt my cheeks getting warm again just by the memory of it. That day I had been mad at Peeta because he said people were messing with me, but in reality I was mad because I couldn't take Johanna's body out of my head and the way the lights of Peeta's costume reflected on her bare breasts.
I couldn't believe she had collapsed today on the Block, I couldn't believe the Capitol had tortured her by soaking her body and electroshocking her. My heart tighten inside my chest thinking about everything I had put the people closest to me trough.
Johanna had helped me with my training, never letting me give up, now I had to do something to help her too.
I knew I shouldn't be wondering off in the halls this time of the night but I had to go to the hospital, I had to see her.
Neither my mom nor Prim was working tonight so I was able to sneak in more easily to where Johanna was sleeping. My hands found the morphling tube and in a blink of an eye I had detached it from her arm.
"Katniss?" I heard her calling me weakly.
"Yeah, it's me. I'm here."
"Why did you take it off?" she asked putting her hand on mine where the tube had been. I took her hand in mine, it felt so warm but shaky.
"You don't need it. It'll just cloud your thoughts… I know I have no idea what you've been through but you need to get over it," I could feel her body tensing and I heard her taking a sharp intake of breath, getting ready to lash at me for what I said. So I continued before I lost my courage.
"Let me help you, please. I owe you so much and I can't take seeing you like this. You said it yourself: we're victors we can take everything they throw at us. Please, let me help you be this person again."
I could see her chin trembling and her eyes sparkling in the dark.
"Okay," she said in a low voice.
"Alright, come with me."
I took her hand and sneaked us both out of the hospital and in to the bathroom. I knew we would be in trouble tomorrow, well I would be in trouble, but I didn't care one bit.
When Johanna realized where we were she started to shiver and looked at me like I had grown another head.
"Why would you bring me here?" she asked me already starting to wail with fear.
"You need to overcome your fears."
"And how the fuck do you think I'm gonna do this here?" Johanna asked with a mixture of anger and fear on her voice.
"Just trust me. Please," I begged her holding her hand. She looked deep into my eyes and she must have seen that I was hurting with her, that she wasn't alone.
"Okay," she said again.
She was so small in that moment I just wanted to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay, but I knew it wasn't. Soon enough we would have to go to the Capitol and kill more people. This nightmare never seemed to end.
I made to let her hand go so I could open the shower tap, but she held me tighter and said "please, don't let go," and so I didn't. Johanna had her back to the shower and as soon as the water started to run she hugged me so tight it broke my heart.
We didn't exchange words, we knew they were meaningless. I let her cry on the crook of my neck while I untied the knots of her hospital gown.
"Look at me," I said trying to make her lift her head and slowly she forced herself to do as I asked.
I stood right in front of her and we were both looking into each other's eyes. I pulled her gown down her shoulders and arms, letting it pool on her feet.
"One step at the time," I said as her hands shot up to my arms.
I pushed her slowly, keeping my promise, one step at the time. With each step she became more reluctant to move backwards. She closed her eyes and cried silently, demanding her body and mind to stop being so frustrating and weak.
As if I were reading her mind I told her "you're not weak. You're one of the strongest people I know. Open your eyes."
"This is so frustrating! It's just water, but I can't help myself… Too many frightening memories!" She was looking at me but her body was shaking violently.
I hugged her tightly against my body and when I felt her warmth passing to me I became fully aware that she was naked, my mind was too busy to realize that before even if I had been the one who stripped her down.
"I'm here. I won't let you go," and saying that I stepped toward the shower. At that moment I thought that feeling the water run on her skin directly from the shower might cause her to have another panic attack and so I stretched my hands out filling them with hot water and I gently poured it on her back.
Johanna immediately shuddered and hugged me tighter but after the water had run down her body, I moved my hands to soothe her back, making small circles and she let out a small moan. I could feel her muscles relaxing and I moved to pour more water on her back, one hand always caressing where the water was being poured.
After a few minutes she was completely relaxed and had stopped crying but her head was still resting on the crook of my neck. Her hair had grown a bit since she had arrived at 13 but it was still short, not even reaching her jaw.
I poured water on her left shoulder and since my left hand couldn't reach that way up because of the way she was hugging me, and my right hand was already under water in a mechanical routine, I kissed the water away.
Johanna let out another breathe moan and made herself more comfortable on my neck.
"That feels good," she said and even though I couldn't see her I knew she was blushing because she suddenly felt warmer.
"Good to know," I said repeating the same movement and kissing her shoulder again.
She moved back a little, held my arms and looked straight into my eyes as if she was looking for something. I felt her fingers moving on my arms until she felt the scar she left when she removed the Capitol's tracker back in the arena. Her gaze fell on it and she said in a small voice:
"I'm sorry I butchered you."
I giggled a little and that made her eyes shoot right back at my face.
"It's not like you had surgical tools and all the time in the world to remove it from me."
Her lips curved in a shy smile, probably the first one since she left the Block.
"That's true," she said. "Your clothes, they're getting all wet."
I looked down and realized I was still fully dressed. I let her go and took off my shirt and pants, leaving my under wear on. When I was moving back up from taking my pants off, my eyes lingered on the master piece that was Johanna's body. Surely years of chopping up wood had done wonders to her figure.
"Liking what you seeing?" Johanna asked with a smirk.
I knew I was blushing heavily but at least my words wouldn't show that… I hoped.
"Someone is thinking highly of themselves…"
"Yep, sure am! You know why? Because I can," she said laughing loudly.
"You're a piece of work, you know that?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.
"So I've been told. C'mon, don't be mad at me."
And just by looking at those chocolate brown eyes I let go and laughed with her.
"Ready for the big challenge?" I asked once our laughter died down.
Her body immediately tensed again and her gaze fell to her feet.
"No," she said quietly.
"I'll be here with you," Johanna looked up and nodded in agreement. I gently started to push her under the running water but I could see the desperation growing in her eyes.
Before she could scream, I pushed my lips against hers wrapping my arms around her body. While she relaxed into the kiss I grew anxious and guilty: not only was I falsely engaged to Peeta and had kissed Gale a couple of times, now I was also kissing Johanna. What's the matter with me?
I guessed Johanna sensed my troubled mind so she broke the kiss.
"You don't need to feel guilty you know?" When I didn't speak up she continued, "Just because you're kissing me it doesn't me that you've given up on Peeta… And he might never go back to the way he was," now I was the one almost having a panic attack, "and I know that from what you and Gale have told me that you two are meant to be just best friends, even if neither of you are sure of that yet."
At least that last part helped me calm down a little and she was right. I nodded my head to let her know I agreed with her because I didn't trust myself enough to open my mouth just yet. After a couple of seconds I realized that Johanna was totally under water with the exception of her head.
"Your body… You're under water!" I said excitedly.
The moment the truth of what I said hit her, she gave my arms a deadly grip but she tried to control her breathing.
I took the soap and let my hands travel, first to her back and neck, taking my time so she would relax again. When my movements stopped and she opened her eyes, she caught me staring at her breasts not knowing how to proceed.
"Look at you, so pure…" Johanna laughed so hard, her whole body shook, which did not help once I caught sight of those beautiful breasts going up and down.
I tried to force a coherent sentence out of my mouth but ended up sounding like the child I no longer was.
"S-stop laughing at me!" I said pouting. God, that was so frustrating!
"Aw! Chill out Mockingjay," Johanna said with a wicked smile, "you don't need to soap me, but I wouldn't mind if you continued…" She trailed off as she took my hand to her left breast, making me soap it. "You don't need to be afraid, it's just me."
She leaned down and kissed me with such fiery need I had never felt neither from Gale nor Peeta. They were both too careful as if I would break, but Johanna was the same as me, just a girl broken in so many different ways but still stronger than anyone.
Her left hand unhooked my bra and without me even noticing, she took it off of me.
My hands seemed to have gained life because now they were moving to their own accord. I was exploring her breasts as she scratched my back leaving marks I wouldn't be able to explain.
"Not that I'm not enjoying what you're doing… Oh, fuck… B-because I obviously am, but I need you to go lower."
Shit, what am I going to do now? I have zero experience with that.
"Seriously! Could you please stop laughing at me!" I said blushing, "I just don't know how to do it…"
She looked into my eyes and said "we don't have to do anything, I know you're a couple of years younger than me and I don't want to impose. You've already helped beyond believe today."
Where was the smart-mouth, annoying Johanna I knew? When did she become such a lovely person?
"No, I want to," there was no way to deny that, I was feeling something I had never felt before down there, between my legs. I was wet and it wasn't because of the shower. "Could you show me how to do it?"
"Gladly," she said giving me the sexiest smile I had ever seen. Johanna went back to my neck, but to my surprise she nibbled on it making me moan in pleasure for the first time in my life.
"Enjoying yourself, baby girl?"
"Yes! Please, don't stop," I told her letting my hands go back to her breasts, squeezing them hard like I thought she would like it.
"Oh, that's good!" She said approvingly, "Now observe…"
She trailed kisses from my neck, to the valley of my breasts and finally she took one of them full on her mouth. I had never felt anything so good in my entire life! I wanted more so I put my hands on her head, urging her forward.
"Eager much?" She teased me.
"You have no idea!"
"Not so pure after all, huh?"
I felt her hands moving down my sides, hooking her thumbs on the waistband of my panties, pulling it down until it slid the rest of the way by itself.
She looked back at me and asked one more time "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am." And once again she was kissing me like there was no tomorrow.
Johanna closed the shower tap [yes, we might not care about being in trouble but we did not want to be responsible for the whole district not getting enough water] and she pushed me to the nearest wall.
"Spread your legs, baby girl," she whispered hotly in my ear. That was enough to get me moaning again. I did as I was told and without losing a second, Johanna placed one firm thigh against my throbbing core.
"Oh fuck!" I moaned in surprise. I was never the one to curse, but now seemed to be a good time to start.
Johanna was attacking all the right places and I was going insane! Her lips almost never left my neck, her hands were roughly nipping my breasts and her thigh… Oh God, what a marvelous thigh!
I began to feel something on my stomach, something really nice. I could feel my legs growing weak and I didn't know how to open my eyes anymore. With one more thrust of Johanna's thigh I was seeing starts and I couldn't help but to scream her name.
"That's it baby. Just let yourself go, feel every wave of pleasure running through your body…"
Even her voice was doing strange things to my body and I did as I was told. I let myself feel every single thing there was to feel and when I could finally open my eyes I was met with a beautiful smile and the question:
"Ready for round two?"
"Are you for real?" I mean, I knew there was more to sex than that, but she had been in the hospital an hour ago and to tell you the truth, if that was all I would get tonight, I was going to sleep with the silliest smile on my face.
"Of course I'm for real. That was just dry humping, it wasn't real sex. I know you're on cloud nine right now, but you haven't seen anything yet!" Johanna said excitedly. "And besides, if I'm going to teach you something, I'm going to teach you right."
Before I could even answer I felt Johanna's hand lightly brush against my clit and I lost my argument right then and there.
She reached lower and lower moaning at the feeling of my wet center on her fingers.
"You're so ready for this…" She groaned kissing me again. When I felt her fingertip tease my entrance I suddenly got nervous.
"What's wrong?" She asked looking me in the eye.
"Nothing, just be gentle okay?"
"Wouldn't do it any other way, baby girl." Johanna assured me giving me a tender kiss, "Relax, okay? Try to concentrate on the good feelings." I nodded my head and she was gone.
I looked down and saw her knelt in front of me.
"Enjoy the ride," she took one of my thighs and rested it on her shoulder, and with a wink she closed her eyes and started licking me senseless.
"FUCK!" I had to scream! Her tongue felt infinite times better than her thigh. It was so warm and soft and dear Mother of God, she definitely knew how to move around! My hands flew to her head to hold her in place and without even noticing I was grinding against her mouth.
I could feel myself getting close again and that's when Johanna's middle finger entered me without warning. It stung a bit, but it was not even half of what I had expected the pain to be.
"Are you okay?" Johanna asked.
"Yes! Please, don't stop! Don't stop!"
Johanna's only response was a wicked smirk and she went back to business.
"Oh fuck! This feels so good!" Johanna had started moving her finger in and out of me slowly setting a rhythm, "Please, faster."
I was going to lose it at any moment, the feeling in my stomach was back but I could tell it was a bit different from the first time.
"I'm so close…" I moaned, "FUCK!" Johanna slipped another finger inside of me and I lost it. Stars couldn't compare to what I was seeing now.
After a few seconds I pulled her up, hugging her tightly and kissing her with passion I didn't know I had for her. The taste of me on her lips made me feel lightheaded wondering how she would taste on my lips.
"You are amazing," I told her.
"You too baby girl, you too. Thank you for bringing me here." She said with nothing but honesty in her voice.
"Let's take a real shower and go back to our room, I guess I have some payback to do…" I teased her.
"Girl, you better be serious!" Johanna said playing with me.
"Of course I am!" I said turning the shower tap, "Come here, let's get all cleaned up and ready for bed."
I knew Johanna was still afraid of water but she had made a wonder progress tonight and I sure as hell wouldn't mind dragging her up here every day for our personal therapy session.