Hello, beautiful people. This is just a cheesy, short one-shot that I got an idea for just a few minutes ago. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!


Emmett's perspective


I was totally going to beat her at arm wrestling. Bella was so tiny, and I was huge. She'd lose, then go cry about it to Edward. I could imagine the "I want a rematch!" complaints right now.

I led her outside to a huge boulder after Alice suggested that we take our bet outside. Esme would go ape-shit if we messed up her antique table…okay, maybe not really, but she would be pretty upset.

Everybody besides Carlisle and Esme was watching us. Everybody besides Carlisle and Esme would watch Bella totally fail.

I confidently placed my elbow on the rock and waved at Bella to come forward. Come forward, I thought. To lose.

She looked like she was going to shit her pants, if she could. She seemed to have noticed my assumption, so her face was smooth in moments. She would break into a metaphorical sweat soon, I could just tell.

Bella set down her elbow. "Okay, Emmett," she said. "I win, and you cannot say anything—anything!—about my sex life to anyone, not even Rosalie. No allusions, no innuendos, no nothing. If so, I'm going to kick your ass."

I smirked. "Deal. If I win, it's going to get way worse." I wasn't joking.

I taunted her a little bit, cracked some jokes about the cottage she just received and how it was probably still standing—not.

"And did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?" I asked Bella.

"Eww, why would he want to?" she replied. "That's disgusting."

"Not as disgusting compared to you guys," I said.

She scoffed, but didn't say anything after. The word Owned could have been plastered onto her forehead.

"And you think we all can't hear anything…" I said, letting the tease linger.

"Let's just get this over with," she said, gritting her teeth. "One, two—,"

"Three," I finished.

Bella shoved against my hand, and nothing happened.

Ha. I was stronger than a newborn.

I watched her freak out, still trying to beat me. Seconds later, I knew I had it in the bag. I grinned. She lost an inch.

I chuckled. "Nice try, little sis," I told her. Then I smashed her hand down on the rock. I heard a long crack and a piece of the rock broke off. It fell right on Bella's foot, and then she stepped on it and squished it to dust.

"You mad, sis?" I asked, still smiling. She threw a glare at me.

"Be ready for the jokes," I finished.

She flared her nostrils, turned around, and then walked away.

"You suck, Emmett!" she called back to me without turning around.

"I'll tell you what you're sucking!" I called back.

Jasper and I high-fived and then we walked into the house. Bella, pissed, sat next to Edward, though Edward looked like he was trying to hold back laughter.

She didn't seem to even notice I was there. "It was so hard, Edward!" she cried. "I don't even know how he did it."

I snickered, and she looked up. "What?"

"That's what Bella said," I told her.

"Isn't the joke 'That's what she said'?" she asked.

"Not anymore."

Jasper and I high-fived again.

That was it. I was even more awesome.


So how was that? Lame? Irrelevant? Review please!