Lol I have no idea what happens in this...

Roderich picked up the phone. He braced himself for the annoyed voice of one of his bosses, telling him he hadn't filed his paperwork yet, or there was another super-last-minute meeting. Instead he heard a familiar female voice.

"So are we friends yet?" She asked, something was off in her voice but he couldn't quite tell what.

"E-Elizaveta…"He hadn't heard from her since World War II.

"Igen, It's me, now answer the question!" She sounded angry.

"I…I suppose we're friends…" He had no idea how to respond to that so he gave her what it seemed like she wanted.

"Good," she paused to yell at someone else, "So will you come get me?"

Oh…that was what was off, she was drunk. Her voice slurred slightly, "I'm on my way." He quickly took down the name of the bar she was at. He hopped into his car and plugged the address into the GPS Ludwig had given him for Christmas, quickly finding the place he was looking for. Elizveta was easy to spot. She Laughed loudly, and was surrounded by men as she and…oh god, he was here.

"C'mon Liz you can top me!" He shouted as she took a shot of straight vodka.

"You bet I can," She giggled, Roderich groaned.

"Elizaveta…" She turned to look at him.

"Omigosh! Gil! Look! It's Roddykins!" She smiled brightly, "Roddykins! C'm'ere!"

"Elizaveta, we're leaving," He gently grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the bar. It wasn't really that difficult seeing as the moment he touched her she began to cling to his arm. Gilbert laughed until she made an off-color comment about his and Mathais's relationship.

"Let's get you some coffee," Roderich sighed. She was still lovely, her deep green eyes, her long brown hair, her plump pink lips, and most of all her easy smile that remained on her face through all but the worst of life's events.

"Why? Is beer too manly for you princess?" She giggled. Then there were her bad qualities: her foul mouth, her heartless jibes, her physical and pugnacious nature, and her compatibility with all those ruffians.

"You're drunk. I'm going to get you some coffee and then take you home, and we can pretend this never happened," He sighed, pulling her into the car.

"I'm going to forget anyway," She laughed. "Stupid Ludwig! He was supposed to take me home…"

Roderich rolled his eyes. "You oughtn't to be getting drunk in the first place."

"Oh look who's talking," they were driving to a diner now, "You used to get drunk all the time! And I used to have to go get you after you got lost! Was being married to me so bad that you had to pickle yourself in beer?"

He blushed, parking. Now they were talking about their marriage…? He pulled her into the diner, "Being married to you was a pleasure, Elizaveta," He said politely.

"Oh please!" She sat down and he quickly asked the waitress for coffee. "I'm sick of you treating me like a potential enemy."

"Well you did used to be my enemy," He replied pushing the coffee in front of her.

"So are you gay?" She said ignoring the coffee.

He blushed, "P-Please let's not talk about this..."

"You totally are!" She giggled, then she took a small flask out of her purse, she dumped the contents into the coffee.

"Don't drink it now!" He snatched it away from her.

"I can't drink it black!" She looked outraged.

"You drink Turkish coffee, don't say you cant handle this."

"Hey Roddykins..."


"Do you hate me?"

"No..." He looked at her, "I don't hate you." She was oddly solemn for being drunk.

"Then why don't you ever come visit me anymore?" she frowned at him. "Why don't you ever call me? I miss you!"

He knew she'd never say something like that if she hadn't been drunk, but she seldom lied whether intoxicated or sober. "Elizaveta..." He took her hand, she wouldn't remember anything in the morning anyway, "I miss you far more than you can imagine."

She blushed a bit, "Then why don't we ever do anything?"

"We're doing something now..." He mumbled, wishing she didn't have to be drunk to say this.

"This doesn't count I won't remember."

"Maybe you should drink less then."

"It's not my fault!" She slammed her fist on the table, "It's that damn Gilbert! He's always like 'come on lets have a drink!' So i say 'alright, only one' and he says 'of course' and so we go, and He says 'bet i can beat you in this new drinking game' and i say 'i said only one drink' and he says 'well i guess if your scared you don't have to...' and so then I have to beat him!"

"Lovely," He crossed his arms.

"So you're gay, right?"

He blushed, "Why are you asking that?"

"Well you and Switzerland..." She smirked.

"No! Definitely not with that guy!"

"What about Gil?" she giggled.

"I thought you liked him." He looked away.

"Pfffft! NO!" She laughed like he'd suggested she were a purple elephant, "He's totally gay! He's dating...what's his name...America's brother..."

"Oh..." He looked back at her.

She giggled, "I like someone else."

"Oh?" He knew it.

"Mhmm," she reached out and twirled Mariazell between her fingers. "And I want him to come over tomorrow. He...he's..." she yawned and slumped forward...she was out.

He managed to wake her enough to get her to her house and then he carried her to her bed. He wondered if he should dress her, but thought that would be a little indecent. Instead he just kissed her on the forehead, rather regretting she'd never finished her sentence.

The next morning he woke to see an extra car in his driveway. The smell of coffee cake greeted him, a long with a smiling Hungarian.

"Sorry about yesterday," She tried to look apologetic, "Here, this is a thanks..."

"It's fine," He mumbled, blushing, "You didn't have to do all this..."

She smiled, "I wanted to, we never see each other anymore..."

He sighed. "I know, we ought to make more of an effort to be together."

She looked surprised by his answer, "R-Roderich..."


"D-did I tell you...yesterday...the person I'm in love with?"

"N-no," He blushed, "You were about to, but you passed out first..."

"Oh," She sighed in relief, "Well I want to tell you now..."

His heart sunk, "Oh? Alright...go for it."

She walked over, and pulled him down by his cravat, leaving a little kiss on his beauty mark.

He blushed but smiled. She smiled back shyly. He pulled her against him and soon they were all tongues and teeth, quickly undressing to become all arms and legs.

Later he nuzzled her hair, " this why you were so concerned with my sexuality?"

"Hmm...I suppose...I guess now I know you aren't gay," she giggled.

"Will you stop asking?"


"Of course."