I like being a hypocrite... I was telling some other people that they should get going on their story again and this one hasn't been worked on for... The amount of time between the first chapter and this one. I will try to work on it, 'cause this only took 5-10 mins. I'm pretending they know what lemonade is as well.
The Diary: Happiness, or Lack Thereof
Happiness… without it, we're just a shell, a nothing. But with that, and love, you can do anything you put effort into. I wish that I still had that driving force, the power. All that's left is the weight of the world.
Bruenor is good, but I wish… I wish my friends, all of them, were still here. I feel the curse of my race, now, that of the elves as well. I still have another half a millennium to live.
Happiness is an emotion out of my reach, something I can brush my fingertips against, something I get brief flashes into, but never able to grasp. Happiness is such a surreal idea now.
I've turned solitary since. I still go to the mines, I still see people. But for all purposes, I live alone. The only real emotion since… then… There was an emotion? I must have missed it. The ability to speak my feelings is what's keeping me here. This diary/journal, or as I call it sometimes: the thing that's keeping me together.
Occasionally I go out, scream myself hoarse, and then stand still for seemingly years. But it's only a couple of hours. I seems to work, yet I don't know why I stand there. It's almost as though part of me wants to go to the void with her. But I have a duty, and now that's all I focus on.
Life seems dangerous in general, but why her? Why that one person? It seems almost nonsensical, life. It's everything- I don't claim to understand any of it. The saying 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'? Well I haven't seen any lemons to make anything out of.
The thing is, we don't know how happy we are until something, or someone takes it away.
I still wish.
It's the only thing I can do.