They're all sitting at the lunch table in the cafeteria when the topic is launched. Santana knew the day would come when the question would be asked, and she also knew that the unhealthy curiosity of her fellow Glee Clubbers would make them want to know the answer for everybody.
She doesn't even know why they started talking about it in the first place. Is it because of Holly Holyday? Or because of that rumor that Emma Pillsbury and Will Schuester finally did it? The only thing she knows is that she's now sitting here, forced to listen to everybody while they talk about their first time, and she has never been that quiet.
Puck describes in detail the girl he spent his first night with, and if Quinn's eyes were guns, he would have already died 20 times. She won't need to tell about her first time, since everybody knows it's the reason why she spent the major part of the past year with a stomach as big as a basket ball.
Artie is looking at Brittany with a proud look and a huge smile on his face, and Santana would like to slap him; but she controls herself and instead she listens to Brittany telling everybody how John Tadler, one of the guys from the football team, became the first mark at the end of her bed. Her chest constricts in pain, but she tries not to show it.
Finn keeps his eyes on his plate and doesn't say anything; everybody knows he had sex with her last year anyway.
Rachel has started a big monologue about the reasons why Jesse and her never actually did it, when Puck interrupts her and fixes his gaze on Santana.
"Lopez, who was it with, for you?"
The others stop talking, and look at her; even if it has never been officially said, everybody has always thought it was with him, and even if that doesn't surprise them that much, they're still a little stunned.
"I bet it's one of the football players, or a guy from the basketball team…" Lauren mutters, loud enough so that everybody can hear it.
"Tell us!" Sam says, curiosity in his voice.
"Yeah, you never talk about it…" Mercedes says. "How was it?"
She feels trapped, and for the first time, Santana Lopez does something she never does: she blushes.
"I don't wanna talk about it."
The others are surprised by her reaction, but mainly by her answer; Santana never falls apart, and she always has some biting comment in store to change the topic without anyone to notice. Most of all, she never misses an occasion to brag about her knowledge; and if there is one territory in which Santana Lopez is unbeatable – apart for Puck, maybe – it's about sex.
But this time it seems different; she seems really un-at-ease, and the others start to wonder what's happening to her.
"Dude! What, was it that awful?" Puck asks.
His question stays answerless; Santana has gotten on her feet and left the table without a word, stopping the discussion about this topic she doesn't want to talk about with them. They look at each other, worried, and Brittany gets up to follow Santana.
"Let me take care of it."
They look at her going away in the direction Santana has left, before Kurt speaks their mind out loud.
"What's happening to her?"
Meanwhile, in the empty hallways, Santana stops next to her locker and lets herself slide along the wall, her head between her hands, letting the memories get over her.
"I… I don't know if we…"
She remembers fumbling in her words, panic in her voice while she tried to process the incredible amount of information and feelings flowing around her.
"Don't worry, everything will be fine."
She's taken out of her thoughts by the sound of steps she would recognize everywhere, and looks to Brittany with her eyes slowly filling up with tears while the blonde girl sits next to her.
"San…" Brittany murmurs, taking her in her arms.
And Santana allows herself to give into her embrace, letting her tears flow freely on her face while Brittany holds her tight.
"I'll never be able to tell them…" she says, burying her nose in Brittany's neck.
"San, what happened? Was it that terrible?'' Brittany asks, totally worried now, making Santana's head snaps up like she's just been thrown a slushy in the face. Brittany's answer seems to shock her, and she looks at her friend, detailing her face like if she wanted it to get printed in her memory forever. She takes her hand, looks at her right in the eyes for her to proceed all the words she's going to pronounce, and speaks slowly but firmly.
"No. It was perfect, Brittany."
Brittany still seems a little unsure, not knowing what her friend is trying to tell her.
"Because it was with you."
A/N: So this was prompted on Tumblr a while ago, when somebody wondered how it would be if the Glee Clubbers talked about their first time. The prompt included the 3 last sentences, all the rest is from me.
I know it's short, but I hope you liked it anyway!