Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Glee.
AN: Just going through my hard drive and sorting through some of the stuff on there. Thought I'd edit this one, hadn't originally published it because it got a bit long and I have a short attention span for pieces in present tense. So I split it up and changed a few things.
I think everything will be explained as we go along. Quill. 5 parts. M for smut in part 3 or 4… I think that's about it.
Quinn Fabray was always the golden child, the good one, with wide innocent eyes and an angelic smile as her sister ran wild circles around her.
It had always seemed to her, when she was the tender age of 14, that her parents had all but forced Frannie to marry the first boy she dragged home that was at least Christian, and didn't have more than 4 piercings…
She's still supposed to be the good girl, supposed to pretend that she hasn't sinned, supposed to plaster on that watery angelic smile and waltz through life as though the crowds should part for her.
Even though they don't, instead they stare and whisper, and her hand flies subconsciously to her barely visible baby bump, and she hates herself and everything she has learnt to be, because she was never ready to deal with anything like this.
But maybe that was the point, anyway.
And when her mum catches her in the store buying groceries with Mercedes' mum nearly a month after she was kicked out of her childhood home, she is all sweet syrupy promises and it's all so familiar but alien all at the same time.
Even so, she finds herself floating back home, and talking about plastic problems, and eeking out the gossip that she can overhear from when she is hiding in the bathroom at school.
Her only friends now are the glee club.
Accepting her for not what she has done but who she is, and Puck has no idea how he should act as the father of her child, and Finn seems to think that breaking up with her was only a formality, and still acts like the doting boyfriend.
Neither of them know what she needs, a hand to squeeze, a shoulder to cry on, someone to tell her it's going to be alright.
Instead she flashes them that watery smile and bites her lip and squashes down everything inside her, cursing both her parents for being so good at hiding spontaneous emotion.
Her dad returns from his business trip, and the bristling anger and the blank, unresponding expression of her mother sends her back to Mercedes, who covers half the bases with a large mug of very milky tea and a rom-com marathon.
She's so bitter, and wishes that could be an excuse for her awful behaviour, smarming around Puck entirely out of spite because of the increasing time he has spent with Rachel Berry.
She feels a surge of what she once thought was power and victory at every wounded expression the small diva passes her, but now it just feels like yet more sugar coated self-hatred, and when Puck texts her to say he'll stop seeing Rachel to be back with her, she's the only one in the Jones' house, and she throws her phone at the wall and runs away until her feet hurt and her head is pounding.
It's raining so hard, she can't tell which are tears or raindrops on her face, and she's only wearing a summer dress, and she's shivering and sobbing so violently it makes her whole body ache.
But maybe that's the emptiness inside her.
His rust bucket of a blue car crawls behind her, then beside her, and he wrenches the handbrake until it's practically vertical and falls out of the car, swearing at the driving weather, and shouting her name to make himself heard above the raindrops.
"Quinn? What are you doing?"
Her head snaps round and he looks so genuinely concerned that more silent tears defiantly appear, and she wonders, for a brief second, if he'd know what to do.
It turns out she didn't really get a choice, as after one look at her visible shaking and blue lips, he's bundling her into his car.
She lets him push a big fluffy towel at her and propel her to the bathroom, and she stands in front of the mirror for a good 20 minutes staring disgustedly at the image she sees there.
Her bump is visible under her sodden clothing, and all of a sudden it seems to represent everything that's wrong in her life, but really she just wants someone to blame that isn't herself for a change.
And then she's screaming because she can't blame a 3 and a half month old foetus for a lifetime's worth of disobedience.
Mr Schuester enters the bathroom without her hearing him, and he knows better than she does what she needs, wrapping a blanket around her and half guiding her, half carrying her to the couch.
His soft calm voice, telling her to let it out, telling her he's there to help her, asking her not to hide.
She lies still on his couch for a couple of hours, and he brings her cookies and strong black coffee, then apologises for both.
She's surprised about the absence of his wife, and he mumbles something about her work, and she lets him talk about his obsession with giraffes and sips gratefully at her hot drink.
The way he squeezes her hand and gazes at her as though she was still beautiful, and tells her how carrying a child is one of the most amazing things humans could achieve, and that she isn't alone, warms her inside.
Back at Mercedes' house, she's quiet all through dinner, and excuses herself early in the evening to sleep, sleeping the best she has in weeks.
Next time she lets him help her, she's out walking aimlessly again, and feels sick at the sight of him, but needs his kind words.
He chides her for not wearing a jumper, and she's back on his couch but this time he sits beside her, reading parts out from a baby book that he says has taught him everything he knows.
She leans against him, just slightly, and is shocked when his arms loops round her shoulders, but he is a cuddly sort of person, and they're in his home, not at school.
But maybe that makes is worse.
She listens, his voice is mesmerising, but she's also thinking about how his wife is going behind his back and is convinced that Quinn herself is going to agree to 'swapping their babies' once they are born, in some convoluted crime plan that reminds her of The Italian Job.
Quinn's not sure hers will look anything like Mr Schuester, or Terri, come to that, but when she sees Terri with what is evidently the father of her child, she figures that her baby being a different skin-tone will be slightly more noticeable.
She feels horrible and avoids him for the best part of a month.
One day he turns up to glee with a black eye and a split lip, his face like thunder and excruciating emotional pain.
Nobody says anything at the mark on his finger where his wedding ring should have been, but everybody sings with doubled effort, and Finn tries so hard not to trip over his own feet that he's sweating buckets by the end.
Quinn lingers at the end of rehearsal, wishing she knew what to do, but leaves quickly as Finn and Puck and Rachel return to the choir room for extra practise, not wanting to disrupt the love triangle that is turning all attention of the school away from her.
Much later, after she politely declines the offer to accompany the Jones' to Mercedes' kid cousin's birthday party, she walks the couple of miles to his house, and even though she wears a cardigan, she's still cold by the time she gets there.
She lets herself up, and knocks on his door.
There's no answer, and after a couple of minutes she pushes it open.
He calls from the couch.
There's something almost hopeful in his voice that breaks her heart.
"Sorry- I'm not Terri". She takes a deep breath and walks right over to him, hand resting on her bump, wishing she could hide, but not able to from him.
He gives a manic sort of lopsided grin.
"Good", he says shortly. "I'm glad you're not Terri".
Then, after a pause, "I thought we talked about wearing jumpers?"
It's light-hearted, and he's going to be alright. They both are.
She shrugs, smiling, and he sighs dramatically, pulling off his huge grey sweatshirt that he has been slobbing in and handing it to her.
"I've only just put it on", he offers, when she hesitates, as though it is too far, when she knows all too well it can never be far enough.
It smells wonderfully like him, and he pulls her sideways into him, for extra warmth, of course.
Before the end of the Law and Order episode, she's told him everything he doesn't know about Terri, and he is the first guy to touch her baby bump, seeking comfort from Quinn's awkward embrace.
He whimpers helplessly as his knuckles brush lightly over the stretched skin beneath his own sweatshirt, and completely breaks against her.
It's horrible to see a grown man cry, and the worst thing is, if Terri had come back to him instead of it being her going over to his apartment that night, Quinn is sure he would have gone on to raise her child and love it as though it was his own.
She decides on adoption and decidedly scorns the sanctity of marriage.
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