Disclaimer: Any character, physical place, or magic you recognize from Harry Potter books or movies belong to Joanne "Jo" Rowling and/or anyone she has granted a license too. This includes her publishers and Warner Brothers. If you recognize another character from a fanfic you have read that was published before this, please inform me, so I can give proper credit where it is due. With over 525,000 HP fanfics on , it's highly probable this will happen although I will do my best to avoid it. This is the last Disclaimer that you will see as it covers all chapters.
A/N: This is an Alternate Universe story and super powered Harry. It includes some bashing of my less than favorite people in canon. This is a Harry/Hermione ship from the beginning, and it will not change. There will be hints of sex between mature adults and strong language in places therefore, the T rating. For those who don't like powerful Harry stories I suggest you read one or more of the half-million plus other stories out here on .The following is a description, of how I write various monies, languages, thoughts, dates, and times.
₲1 = 1 Galleon, S1 = 1 Sickle, £1 = 1 British Pound Sterling, $1 = 1 U.S. Dollar,
₲1 = £10 = $15.00
Temperature is in degrees Fahrenheit.
Dates are in the form of; day month year (2 May 1998) Time is in the 24 hour format 13:00 = 1:00 p.m., and 20:00 is 8:00 p.m. A day begins at 00:00:01 hours and ends at 24:00. All times, unless otherwise noted, are local times.
18 May 1998 – Gringotts Bank
Supreme Goblin Chief Ragnocke looked at those entering the small conference room. Bill Weasley could tell by the look on the Goblins face, he was less than pleased with all but one person that sat at the conference table. His ire was directed at Bill's family, but the curse breaker didn't know why.
Bill Weasley announced, "Wizards and witches it is my pleasure to introduce Supreme Chief Ragnocke, chief of the Goblin Nation. You all have been called here today for the reading of Earl Harry James Potter's Will."
"Thank you Mr. Weasley," the Goblin said in flawless English. "The rules of the will reading as per the request of Lord Potter are simple because the will itself is straight forward and to the point. For the actual reading, we will use a projection crystal and the script Mr. Potter left. Are there any questions?"
There were no questions so Ragnocke tapped the crystal setting on his desk and ghostly image of Harry Potter rose above the crystal.
"Hello all, apparently I am quite dead and have moved to the next great adventure. Bear with me as I get the legal mumbo jumbo out of the way. This is the final will of Harry James Potter, Earl of Hogsmeade, Heir of Gryffindor, Heir of Myrddin, and Heir of Pendragon. I, Harry James Potter, being of sound mind, body, and soul do declare this my last Will and Testament dated 2 May 1998, 00:45 hours."
"Ok with that out of the way I'll start at the top with bequeaths."
Ragnocke heard a knock on the door and said after stopping the crystal, "Enter." Kingsley Shacklebolt entered and apologized for being delayed by Ministry business. Ragnocke indicated for the Minister to join him at his desk and then started the crystal again.
"First to the Weasley children starting with the oldest and working down."
"To Mr. William (Bill) Weasley I leave one million Galleons and the title to Shell Cottage along with the surrounding 500 acres. Live well Bill, you were a big help when we needed you most. Please tell your lovely wife not to weep for the others or me, as we are in a better place. There is only one small caveat to this inheritance and that is NOT ONE FUCKING KNUT IS TO BE SPENT ON RON OR GINNY! To do so means you will lose everything except the payments you made on Shell Cottage. Dobby's remains have been removed to the cemetery at Potter Manor. There he may rest with those who have served the House of Potter with honor."
"To Charlie Weasley and Percy Weasley I leave ₲250,000 each, with the same caveat I gave to Bill. Percy you seem to have finally removed the three-foot pole that was implanted in your ass. Family is not everything it is the only thing."
"To Fred and George Weasley I leave my shares in WWW as well as the dividends you previously paid to my vault. In addition, I leave you my father and godfather's Marauder notes. Ah, yes one other thing, the rebuilding of your shop and store will be taken care of from my vaults. Yes Ron, vaults not vault! Fred, George, this may not sound like much but I believe you find it a great treasure worth several million Galleons. You two were the older brothers I never had. Marry Angelina and Alicia then have lots of little Marauders to drive the teachers at Hogwarts battier."
"To Mr. Ronald Bilius Weasel, I leave Thirty Sickles. Ronald read Mathew chapter 26 in the Bible, and it will tell you the significance of the thirty pieces of silver. Oh, Ronniekins if I were you I would protect my bits, especially when Hermione finds out you, your dear sister, and mother have been feeding her Amortentia since the summer before the sixth year. Keep in mind the penalties for doing that to a Lord or Lady, I'm sure Kinglsey will be glad to help you understand those."
"Ronniekins you may want to know my original will had my assets split between you and Hermione. Then there were the fits of jealousy and a decreasing percentage with each. Once I found out about the love potions that you and Ginny fed to me, and Hermione, I decided thirty pieces of silver was enough for a traitor. And Ronniekins NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY HERMIONE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT."
"Hermione as a Lady of the realm you may challenge him to a duel to the death if you wish. After all, Ron is a pureblood bastard and he should know the law and the old ways."
Ronniekins the bullshit you've been spreading about our flight out of the bank is just that, bullshit. A sleep spell and a bit of memory placement works wonders on a simple mind like yours. Hermione and I met with Ragnocke while we were here, and he gave us the object we were looking for. A letter from me to the Daily Prophet will appear and explain everything, including your betrayal. Have a hell of a life Ronniekins, I'm sure Ragnocke will tell you no one fucks with or betrays a Potter and lives happily ever after. When you dream, I hope you dream about the three billion galleons your betrayal cost you."
"To Miss Ginevra Molly 'Doorknob' Weasley, I leave Thirty Sickles. Ginevra you provided me a lot of entertainment during the last school year as I watched the map. Halloween night was especially entertaining. I mean three boys, two at the back end and one at the front. Michael Coroner, Dennis Creevey, and Colin Creevey must have made poor Seamus feel bad. How much money did you make while you were at school until Christmas? Did you know all those you shagged got together at least once a week?"
"Ah yes, the map had a zoom function as well as a locate function. Those functions made for some very entertaining viewing. Did you have to use potions on them also or were you just after my money? You were never close to getting me, or the Potter vaults. Sixth year was an act scripted by me to see how far you would go while you were still shagging Dean. I do hope you didn't spread HIV to the poor Creevey brothers."
"To Mrs. Molly Weasley, I leave thirty sickles and a piece of advice. Mrs. Weasley you need the help of a mind healer desperately. You are overbearing to the point you have driven four of your sons out of the house. You think you have a right to use any means to make your perfect family dream a reality. Love potions are illegal Molly, and I filed charges against you, Ron, and Ginny."
"Really Molly, sitting in the House of Black discussing using love potions on Arthur wasn't very bright. Even a mild one is five years in prison. However, to use one on Hermione or me cost you G250 million galleons."
"To Mr. Arthur Weasley I leave an apology for bringing this all into the open. You're a good man Arthur, but as a Head of House, you suck. You let Molly get by with far too much instead of straightening her out at the beginning. Two days at the Burrow and I knew why you retreated to your garage. Bloody hell Arthur I was only twelve then, and I saw it. Take care of the house of Weasley business as a Head of House should, and return to visit Ragnocke in a year."
"To Miss Hermione Jean Granger, I leave everything not bequeathed in this will. By everything, I mean all moneys, lands, properties, stocks, bonds, other negotiable media, and titles. Hermione this means you are now Countess in your own right Lady Hermione, Countess of Hogsmeade. It may not sound like much, but it means you now own Hogwarts castle and lands. In addition, you are the heiress to Gryffindor, Merlin, and King Arthur. Anyone of which will make you a pureblood witch by law."
"However, I suggest you ask Chief Ragnocke to perform a blood heir test to see if there are others in your family tree you don't know about. Ragnocke has a letter for you after the will reading is completed, and the others leave. Hermione I set up vaults for Andy and Teddy so all you have to worry about is seeing them. They are well taken care of financially. I love you Hermione and will be waiting on the other side. Take good care of yourself and get the hell away from Molly, Ron, and Ginny before they attempt to kill you."
"My dear Lady Hermione, I suggest that if you return to Britain, you live in Potter Manor. Our times there were the best times of my life, and the library is the best in the world as you well know. It may surprise you to know you now own the Daily Prophet, I'd suggest Luna Longbottom as editor, but it is your choice of course."
"To Minister Kinglsey Shacklebolt, I leave the vault of Tom Marvolo Riddle to be used in the reconstruction of our country. Please use some of the funds there to help those families ravaged by the last two wars. If Tommy is truly gone, I'm sure you have noticed his dark mark glows, and cannot be hidden by clothes or glamours. The folder I left you should be sufficient proof to strike down the unjust laws and bring those that deserve it to justice."
"This completes the will reading of Lord Harry James Potter, Earl of Hogsmeade."
With a wave of his hand, Ragnocke silenced everyone and nodded at Bill as a Goblin guard appeared behind everyone at the table.
"When Chief Ragnocke removes the silencing charm, choose your words carefully if you wish to keep your head attached to your shoulders. I have never been as disappointed in certain members of my family as I am right now," Bill said and sat back down.
"With the exception of Mr. Bill Weasley and Lady Hermione those receiving more than ₲100, please go through the white door. There is some paperwork for you to sign. Thank you for coming today and please do all of your business with the bank through Mr. Hooknose in the future. That is all, you may leave now," Ragnocke said and waved his hand removing the silencing the silencing charm.
Charlie, Percy, and Fred left the table and went through the indicated door. Once inside the small office and old Goblin said, "Welcome I am Hooknose at your service, are there any questions or statements you would like to make?"
"I don't know about the others, but I'm too shocked to say much of anything right now," Charlie stated.
"Charlie this is the greatest prank ever by the son of Prongs. If I hadn't seen him fall, I bet my entire vault that Harry is alive and laughing his ass off. You and Percy weren't around enough to see this coming, but consider that Hermione didn't shed one tear. Something isn't right about that on so many different levels. She has loved Harry since 1991," Fred said.
"Well, I'm shocked, and surprised. He left me anything and sure don't feel like I deserve it," Percy told his brothers.
"You showed loyalty to family and Harry, Percy. That's all Harry ever wanted. Well, that and to be treated as Harry not the Boy-Who- Lived," Fred answered.
"Don't worry Mum, Dad, and Ginny when I marry Hermione I'll have access Harry's vaults and share some of it with you."
"Hell will freeze over before I marry you Ronald Weasley. Once you leave this room, I'll never see any of you four again except at your trial. Oh, here is a copy of Mathew Chapter 26 that explains the thirty pieces of silver. When reduced simple words it shows what traitors are often paid for their betrayal. While pensieve memories may not be used in court, Goblin crystals can be."
"Enjoy your stay in prison, at five years per offense for each attempt that ought to get you around 120 years each. You're lucky, because if we had actually taken the potion, it would have been a death sentence. Of course that may be better than spending time with the Dementors," Hermione snarled.
"Ha, you bitch, there is no proof we gave you and that bastard anything."
Shacklebolt replied, "Wrong, Miss Weasley. I have more than enough proof. But Lady Hermione, I am curious when you and Lord Harry learned wandless magic to detect potions."
Hermione answered with a smile. "Minister we learned it our third year. Remus taught us the basics. It was a struggle for me, but Harry picked it up rather quickly. That summer Dobby helped us take it further by teaching us some elf magic."
"Thank you Lady Hermione, could you tell me what Harry meant by Ginevra Molly Doorknob? I'm not up on you young one's terminology."
"Well Kingsley, a doorknob means everyone gets a turn. In her case, it was one's, twosomes, and threesomes. Yuck. At least, she won me a gallon by leaving the Slytherin boys alone. I can't wait to see what Neville has to say, but he was smart enough not to be alone with her. Of course, Luna may have had something to do with that."
"Well I plan to file a protest on this bullshit will. I was Harry's best mate and deserve more than ₴30."
"Mr. Ronald Weasley, do you have ₲5,000 to spare? That's what the initial cost of a protest is. If the protest fails, then you will owe Lord Potter's estate one-half the amount of the estate which exceeds ₲12 billion." Ragnocke asked.
"Ronald shut that black hole you call a mouth that leads to the void you call a stomach," Arthur shouted.
"I can't believe that boy did this to me, he was like my own son."
"So Molly you also gave our sons love potions. Perhaps it wasn't just your harpy voice that drove the three oldest away as soon as they finished school. I, Arthur Edward Weasley, Head of House Weasley, do hereby disown Molly Prewett-Weasley, Ginevra Molly Weasley, and Ronald Bilius Weasley. They are now removed from the family tree forever. As I say, so shall it be." Arthur stated as the magic flared around him and the three he named.
"Kingsley, I'll get with the goblins and provide you with a crystal in evidence. Unfortunately, it won't help with Harry's case but will show what happened between Molly and me. I'll also quietly resign as Deputy Minister immediately."
"You'll do no resigning this day or any other Arthur. As Harry said you're a good man, and the best for the job and my plans." Kingsley replied.
"Mr. Weasley, please step through the white door, there is a letter from Lord Potter as well as some paperwork for you."
"Thank you Chief Ragnocke," Arthur said as he left through the door. Arthur did as asked and found a letter and paperwork where Harry had left him ₲10 million and wished him a long life.
"You three may leave through the entry door. I suggest you do not cause a scene in this bank, and simple go peacefully with the Aurors that await your presence Ministry justice is less painful than ours. Bill thank you for your service today. Please tell your lovely wife she does fine work, and it's appreciated by me. How is working from home for you two?"
"It's great and thank you Chief Ragnocke. I'll pass on your kind words." Bill said and left through the white door.
"Minister, do you have everything you need. I do not envy you and what you must do to rebuild the British magical world."
"Yes Ragnocke, I have all I need. Between the glowing left arms on Riddle's supporters and the locating charm that leads us to them, we brought in the last of them this morning. The Department of Mysteries will probably spend years and millions trying to figure out how Harry managed that piece of work."
"Kingsley it's a combination of wizard, Goblin, elf, and centaur magic. It came from Merlin's notes in the Potter library so the Department of Mysteries is wasting its time." Hermione said.
"Will you bring that out at the Weasley trial?"
"Yes, and explain how Harry and I fooled Ronald over the last year. Fortunately, memory planting that does no harm is legal according to the First Three Law books. He got to believe he was this great hero for a few weeks, but that will all come crashing down."
"Thanks Lady Hermione, The Death Eater's trials will be held first so you may need to be back here in late August or early September. In any event, I'll let you know and provide you security."
"Thanks Minister," Hermione replied as Kingsley left the conference room.
A tall man with long black hair and emerald-green eyes stepped out of a portrait saying, "Well love that went better than I expected."
"Damn you look good love."
"Thanks to Ragnocke's healers and the time chamber my body is recovered and is now what it should be. The real pain was when my eyes were healed. That about drove me bonkers thanks Ragnocke."
"You are welcome my lord."
"Harry James Potter you do know if you hadn't told me the plan before you used the draught provided by Ragnocke. I'd be hexing you into the twenty-second century right now."
"No way could I do that to you. If I couldn't let you think Moldyshorts killed me in the forest, how the hell could I let you think he could in the Great Hall? That reflecting color charm the twins invented was awesome."
"It damn sure looked like the Killing Curse killed Tom then reflected back and killed you as well. Of course, the goblins quickly stepped in with your letter stating they were to arrange your funeral as per Potter tradition. I thought Molly would shit herself. She was sputtering around as if she had any authority to do anything concerning your remains. When the Goblin captain started to draw his sword, she shut her mouth rather quickly."
"Ginevra was all in tears until they removed your body, then she suddenly became her normal self and smiled at Ronald. The look on his face was priceless as he counted the Galleons he believed he would receive. I was surprised that no one at the funeral noticed your scar was gone. I must say the charmed mannequin looked exactly like you. If I didn't know better I would have thought it was you."
"You'll have to show me those memories later love. But now unless Ragnocke needs us for anything, it's time to go to Australia and for you to meet your true love James Harold Potter billionaire businessman. It's a damn good thing you didn't wipe your parent's memories of you, and that we could communicate with them through the marauders mirrors, we reproduced."
"I bought a Concorde from British Aircraft Corporation for a bit over ₲1.5 million, as well as hired the best crews from British Airways. It's amazing that they're all from magical families. With the modifications, it can land and take off from any airport so our trip should take less than ten hours."
Ragnocke told the young lovers that he had no further business and wished them well as the simply faded away and appeared on a Concorde with a huge red dragon on its tail. Once the aircraft reached 57,000 feet and a cruising speed of 1500 miles per hour, they ate lunch then retired to a large four-poster bed until dinner. They joined the 10+ mile-high club four times during the nine-hour flight.
When they arrived at Sidney Dan and Emma Granger were waiting for them. Together the foursome went to a small chapel the Grangers were members of and Harry and Hermione were married. Two department heads from the Australian Ministry of Magic acted as the magical witness to legalize the marriage in the magical world. Thus began a yearlong honeymoon traveling around the world for the Potters and a second honeymoon for the Grangers.
There were short interruptions for trials. When Harry and Hermione were introduced by Kingsley at the Weasley trial, over two-thirds of the audience fainted and had to be revived. Harry suggested a seven-year sentence for Ron and Ginny, but a fifteen-year sentence for Molly, since she provided the potions and suggested their usage. Kingsley added that their wands should be snapped and no magic be performed other than household magic.
When queried how they were to support themselves once released, Kingsley replied they could be hired as part of the janitorial service at the Ministry. When Ron started to open his mouth he was reminded that each word he spoke when he was not asked a question would cost him an additional year in Azkaban, he said nothing.
George cornered the twosome and asked how they pulled off the greatest prank ever. After getting his answer, he thanked them and stated the WWW should clear ₲1.5 million by the end of the year. Harry and Hermione then visited Neville and Luna after which they returned to their honeymoon. They would have two sons and a daughter named James Remus, Sirius Daniel, and Lily Emma. The three were born within days of being exactly one year apart.
When Minerva got the news of Sirius' birth, she marked her calendar for ten years in the future as the date she would retire as Headmistress. She told Filius Flitwick she was too darn old to try to run herd on a new generation of Marauders. Filius agreed and decided it would be time for him to retire also.
Thus ends this one-shot. I hope you enjoyed it, if so please take the time to drop a short review. No beta was used for this story, my reliance on Microsoft Word spell/grammar checker along with WhiteSmoke may be a mistake but it is the best I can do.