Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers apply. Expression: mine. Everything else: not so much.

All persons and organizations in this story are fictional, except for those who are not. The non-fictional people are being used fictionally for entertainment purposes only, and no attempt is being made to reflect on the characters of the actual persons involved.

How Xenophilius Lovegood Saved Britain:

A Harry Potter "Adventure" in Several Primary Sources

January 15, 1996

To: Harry Potter
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hogsmeade, Scotland

Dear Harry,

Hello! I hope you remember me. I remember you, of course – the Boy Who Saved Me. Fleur thinks I should practice my written English, so I write to you!

I hope you are doing well and having lots of fun at your school. It looked very dreary to me when I was there, but I hope you like it anyway.

My school is fun. They do not give us wands yet, but it is only two years from now. I cannot wait!

I hope your write back.

Your friend,

Gabrielle Delacour

January 27, 1996

To: Gabrielle Delacour
Beauxbatons Academy of Magic
Cagnes-sur-Mer, Alpes-Maritimes

Dear Gabrielle,

Thank you for your letter. Of course I remember you, and I hope you are enjoying school. It must be much warmer there than here at the tip of Scotland!

I am sad to say I am not having fun at school this year. We have a new professor who is very cruel, and the papers are saying that I am a liar because I tell people that Voldemort has returned. The Ministry of Magic wants me to stop, but I won't stop telling people the truth.

The only thing getting me through this time is the loyalty of my friends. When I got your letter, it reminded me that I have more friends than I sometimes remember.

I am sorry if I am bringing you down. You should be thinking of school and games and your friends and happy things, and please don't stop smiling.

Your friend,



From: Hercule Delacour, Senior Sub-Deputy Minister, Department of International Relations, French Ministry of Magic

To: Jacques Caouette, Deputy Minister, Department of International Relations, French Ministry of Magic

Date: January 31, 1996

Re: Ministry of Magic, United Kingdom

The rumours out of Britain appear to be true. Their Ministry is indeed denying the return of Tom Riddle, the self-proclaimed Lord Voldemort, the primary antagonist of the British Magical Civil War of 1970-1981. My daughter Gabrielle has been in correspondence with Harry Potter, champion of the Triwizard Tournament of last year. As per my memorandum to you of June 16, 1995, Mr. Potter saved Gabrielle's life during the shockingly poorly-organized tournament, and witnessed the death of his fellow student Cedric Diggory, and the return of Riddle.

Mr. Potter has informed my daughter that there is a campaign in the press against him, denying that Riddle has returned. A perusal of the Daily Prophet, the unofficial press organ of the British Ministry, confirms the half-year long campaign against him.

My family honour, and the debt of gratitude we owe to this young man who rescued my daughter with no thought of his own safety would compel me to raise this matter in any event. However, given the short-sightedness of the British Ministry in the recent Civil War, the continuing rumours out of Britain of collusion with the followers of Riddle, the general incompetence we have come to expect out of our British counterparts (which was shown again during the Triwizard Tournament), and the British Ministry's well-known dislike of nonmagicals and non-"pureblood" wizards in general, I fear raising this issue with our counterparts across the Channel would be futile.

Given the attitudes of the British Ministry, I find it likely that they have not informed the nonmagical government of any of this. It is my opinion that we owe Her Majesty's Government the courtesy of informing them about what their own Ministry likely has not, and that we likely have an obligation to under the Entente Cordialle of 1904 and our longstanding alliance.

Perhaps Minister Gouin could inform the President of the Republic of this, and he could inform the British Prime Minister of these events.


February 7, 1996

From: Office of the Cabinet Secretary

To: Sir Alan Widdicombe, Head of the Special Matters Task Force

Please see the attached memo detailing the recent highly sensitive meeting between the Prime Minister, the French President, and the French Minister of Magic. The Prime Minister is attending at the Palace today to inform Her Majesty. Case Morgana will likely be activated today, with an expected implementation date of Sunday, February 18, 1996.

February 9, 1996

To: Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hogsmeade, Scotland

From: Sir David FitzClarence
Private Secretary to Her Majesty for Special Matters
Buckingham Palace

Headmaster Dumbledore,

Please send Mr. Harry Potter of Gryffindor House to the attached coordinates on the Floo Network tomorrow morning at 11:00 GMT for a special audience with Her Majesty. Mr. Potter should be dressed appropriately in his school robes. He may bring his wand.

I remind you that this communication is secret, and any breech of that secrecy would be a violation of the Official Secrets (Special Matters) Act, the Treason (Special Matters) Act, and the criminal provisions against alarming Her Majesty. This includes revelation of the matters in this letter to other staff at Hogwarts, to Minister Fudge, or to Mr. Potter himself, prior to the meeting. I trust this reminder is for academic purposes, only.

Yours, etc.

From the private diary of Albus Dumbledore

February 9, 1996


Portion of Unofficial Transcript, meeting at Buckingham Palace, February 15, 1996, released under the Official Secrets (Special Matters) Act on February 15, 2146

THE PRIME MINISTER: As you can see, Ma'am, we are set to go ahead with Case Morgana at 1:00 a.m. on Sunday.

HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN: Have there been any breaches of security?

PM: None that we know of, and I suspect there won't be. All the people involved are what the magicals call "Muggle-born" or "Half-blood", and most of them left the magical world in the last Magical Civil War.

HMTQ: For self-proclaimed superior beings, the wizards at 'The Ministry' can be awfully short-sighted, can't they?

PM: I suspect their prejudices blind them, Ma'am.

HMTQ: How do you expect our allies to react on Sunday to Case Morgana?

PM: Our nonmagical counterparts will be foursquare behind us, I suspect. We know the French will be, and I suspect the Americans will be as well. I know the Portuguese will likely try and imitate us, as would the Russians if Stalin hadn't killed all their magicals in the 'Thirties.

HMTQ: And the Commonwealth?

PM: Feelers to the Australians and New Zealanders are positive as we suspected, Ma'am. Oddly, we've got nothing but deflections from the Canadians. (PAUSE IN TRANSCRIPT) May I ask why Your Majesty is grinning?

HMTQ: Mr. Trudeau did a similar thing in 1970 to what we are about to do. It was quite successful. (PAUSE IN TRANSCRIPT) You forget, Mr. Major, that I've been on the throne long before you were Prime Minister, and God willing, will be long after you have retired. I mean no disrespect, of course.

PM: Of course, Ma'am. How much else do you know that your not telling me?

HMTQ: That, Mr. Major, you will never know. What did you think of your meeting with young Mr. Potter?

PM: I would be hard pressed to name a more credible and honest young man. The information he gave us confirms what we have from the French and our other sources. If I may ask Your Majesty, what did you think of his description of life in the wizarding world?

HMTQ: I think we should have done what we will do Sunday a long time ago. You have added the extra operation to Case Morgana that I suggested?

PM: Indeed I have. I suspect Mr. Potter will be quite pleased come Monday morning.

HMTQ: I think he suspects what is happening. (PAUSE IN TRANSCRIPT) Don't worry, Prime Minister, I think we can trust Mr. Potter completely. On a related matter, do you know who we can trust to manage our interests after Sunday?

PM: My source came up with one name. Xenophilius Lovegood. Strange man, but by all accounts honest, hardworking, and has never worked in the Ministry of Magic or been tainted by them. His wife was killed in 1990 in a research accident. One daughter, a classmate of Mr. Potter. He's coming this afternoon.

HMTQ: Any negatives we should know about?

PM: He's a journalist. He runs a magazine called The Quibbler. On the one hand, it is the only magical publication to consistently oppose the Ministry, tell the truth about Lord Voldemort...

HMTQ: Do not call Mr. Riddle that. He has no patent of nobility that either I or this kingdom recognize.

PM: I apologize, Ma'am. The truth about Riddle. Mr. Lovegood's magazine is the only one to offer continuous support for Mr. Potter. On the other hand, other wizards say he believes in impossible creatures...

HMTQ: He's a wizard. He deals with unicorns and dragons. Isn't believing in impossible creatures a job requirement?

PM: That's what our people say. The Quibbler is described as similar to the Weekly World News, though.

HMTQ: That may present certain problems.

PM: Credibility and, ah, otherwise. But he appears to be the best candidate, and I think he will agree with our plans. He certainly has no love for the magical Establishment.

HMTQ: I imagine that my opposing any Establishment would surprise some people.

PM: Indeed, Ma'am. I took the opportunity to ask Mr. Potter about Mr. Lovegood. Young Potter has never met the man, but spoke well of his daughter, who he described as unconventional but highly intelligent, and said that it was his impression that her father was similar.

HTMQ: Well, that's what we're looking for. So Mr. Lovegood has your endorsement, and it sounds like he has Mr. Potter's endorsement.

PM: Yes, Ma'am.

HMTQ: And I know he has the endorsement of P'lod as well. (PAUSE IN TRANSCRIPT) I told you, Mr. Major, I've been around a very long time.



Curfew from 5:00 p.m. to 9:00 a.m. in the following communities, on penalty bill of attainder and consignment to Azkaban:

Diagon Alley
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Ministry of Magic

Dated in London, this Sunday, February 18, 1996


Her Majesty the Queen
J. Major, Prime Minister
X. Lovegood, Acting Minister of Magic

From the Magical Gazette: Britain's Official Magical Journal of Record since February 19, 1996

February 19, 1996 edition


In a nighttime operation by the newly-created Royal Special Matters Operations Corps (RSMOC), comprised largely of first-generation wizards ostracised by the former Ministry of Magic in the last 25 years, RSMOC agents seized control of the Ministry of Magic yesterday. The Ministry has been dissolved according to the terms of the Security of the People (Special Matters) Act, proclaimed by Her Majesty's Government on February 18, 1996. The Wizengamot was also dissolved under the Magical Martial law proclaimed yesterday.

Assets of the former Ministry and Wizengamot were secured with minimal loss of life by the RSMOC...


Subordinated and integrated into Her Majesty's (Nonmagical) Government

X. Lovegood appointed Minister

Magazine owner Xenophilius ("Xeno") Lovegood was appointed Minister of Special, Magical and Paranormal Matters (hereinafter "SMPM") by Her Majesty yesterday morning, and assisted in direction of the seizure of the former Ministry of Magic by RSMOC agents...


All employees of the former Ministry of Magic have been suspended indefinitely pending performance and security reviews, said newly appointed SMPM Minister Xenophilius Lovegood today. "There has been far too much coddling of racists, bigots, and the accomplices of the criminal Tom Riddle" (see pg. 2 infra), said the Minister. "We intend to weed these miscreants out, and provide new opportunities for those who have remained loyal to the ideals, both magical and nonmagical, of Britain and all the British people...


Until further notice, the Emergency Powers (Special Matters) Act is in force. The Act, proclaimed yesterday, contains the following provisions...


Falsely claimed noble titles have been banned by the MSMPM, under the newly proclaimed Impersonation of Nobility Act. Anyone claiming to use any noble or quasi-noble title that has not been granted legally by act of a Monarch of the United Kingdom, or her predecessor kingdoms, will be subject to civil penalties, including a fine of five thousand galleons for the first offence and seven thousand galleons for every subsequent offence. Examples of this include the falsely self-proclaimed "Lord" Lucius Malroy (see pg. 4 infra)...


Tom Marvolo Riddle, falsely called "Lord Voldemort", the so-called "Dark Lord", was attainted yesterday by a Bill of Attainder passed by an in camera committee of Parliament, and given Royal Assent. Riddle, who remains at large, is guilty of murder, torture, high treason, spreading false news, alarming Her Majesty, unlawful drilling, bribery, influence peddling, and offences under the Security of the People (Special Matters) Act, the Treason (Special Matters) Act, the European Code of Human Rights, and other acts.

Riddle is supported by a criminal gang who call themselves the "Death Eaters", but whom Minister Lovegood called a "lawless gang of petty thugs and murderers".

The danger posed by Riddle and his gang has been downplayed over the last year by the former Minister, currently awaiting trial (see pg. 3 infra)...


Accused of Treason, dereliction of duty


From The Times, February 20, 1996


Relative unknown Xenophilius ("Phil") Lovegood, 45, a Devonshire journalist and entrepreneur, has been appointed to the House of Lords by Her Majesty's Government. Now Lord Lovegood of Ottery St. Catchpole, he was also appointed to the Cabinet as Minister Without Portfolio. Political commentators are surprised that this relative unknown, who appears to be in the confidences of Prime Minister Major, was advanced so quickly...

From the Magical Gazette, February 20, 1996


International reaction to Sunday's action, known in by Her Majesty's Government as Case Morgana, was swift. Warm congratulations were given by both the magical and nonmagical governments of France (see photo of Lord Lovegood and French Minister Gouin on pg. 3 infra), and from the United States, and our other NATO and Commonwealth allies. Canadian Minister of Arcane Affairs Claudette Sevigny merely smiled knowingly when asked at a press conference about Case Morgana...


Riddle henchmen Lucius Malfoy, formerly of the Ministry of Magic, was sent to Azkaban Prison yesterday by Bill of Attainder for treason, murder, torture, assault, and various other offences. Malfoy, an intimate of the former Minister Cornelius Fudge, had falsely claimed to have been under the Imperius curse by Riddle during the Wizarding Civil War of 1970-1981, but retained allegiance to Riddle to this day. As per the Bill of Attainder, all his possessions and properties are forfeit and escheat to the Crown.

Also attainted was former Hogwarts High Inquisitor (see below) and Fudge intimate Dolores Umbridge, who was attainted for torture, attempted murder, assault, offences under the Education (Special Matters) Act and other acts...


Albus Dumbledore, head of the former Wizengamot, has been dismissed from his post as Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Dumbledore has been under fire in recent years for a variety of concerns, mostly revolving around student safety, most notably during last year's Triwizard Tournament, which saw the death of Cedric Diggory, 17, an international incident regarding the near death of an eight-year-old French girl, and most notably the return of the attainted criminal Tom Riddle.

Also dismissed from their posts were Severus Snape, the Potions Master, and Defence Against the Dark Arts professor Dolores Umbridge (see pg 2 supra).

Newly appointed Headmistress Minerva McGonagall had no comment when asked about the dismissals.

From the Little Whinging Advertiser, February 20, 1996


Vernon and Petunia Dursley of Privet Drive were arrested early Sunday Morning in a midnight raid by agents of the Department of Children, Schools and Families, on charges of child abuse relating to their nephew. The nephew, 15, who cannot be named due to both the Privacy Act and, unusually, the Official Secrets Act, was subjected to repeated emotional abuse and withholding of the necessities of life. Their son, 15, who can also not be named due to the Privacy Act, is currently in a foster home...

From the Magical Gazette, February 23, 1996.


(see picture on pg. 3 infra)


Cornelius Fudge, the former Minister of Magic, has been send to Azkaban Prison by Bill of Attainder. Mr. Fudge has been found guilty of treason, accepting bribes, murder, attempted murder, and offenses against the Food Safety Act and European Meat Pie Regulations 1993. He is also held responsible for the poor relations with goblins resident in the United Kingdom under the previous magical regime...

February 26, 1996

To: Luna Lovegood
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hogsmeade, Scotland

Dear Moonbeam,

Thank you for your letter, my little treasure! I hope the disturbances of the last week have not affected you too much. I am glad you approve of the recent dismissals of your professors. Ms. Umbridge (or Prisoner D52663, as she is now called) will no longer terrorize you or your schoolmates.

You will be happy to know that we at the MSMPM are doing sterling work to improve the plight of everyone, magical and nonmagical alike.

I am glad you approve of our discouraging of the terms "Muggle" and "Muggle-born" in favour of "nonmagical" and "first-generation". My aim as Minister is to remove the sources of discord which have plagued us for so long, and I hope this is a step in the right direction.

As Minister, I cannot continue to run The Quibbler. I am therefore giving my shares to you, to be held in trust for you until you turn 17. I have to choose a trustee for you – I am thinking your friend Ginny's mother, who has always struck me as honest and fair.

You don't have to call me "Lord Daddy", by the way, but that did bring a laugh to me when I read it. Even Her Majesty chuckled when I mentioned it at the Palace this weekend.

I know I don't need to tell you this, but now that your Daddy is the Minister, you will have many people falsely trying to be your friend. I trust your judgement, but do need to remind you to only trust true friends, who supported you before my sudden rise.

Speaking of which, I do need to meet with your chum Harry Potter. I have encountered information in the Department of Mysteries of the former Ministry of Magic which he will find very interesting. I can't tell you more than that, but perhaps you and he could visit me in London this weekend?

Also regarding your friends, you once mentioned that your friend Hermione Granger's parents are dentists. Can you give me their contact information? I have some biting (ha ha!) questions, and I need some people I can trust.

To answer your other questions, I have found no evidence that I can divulge in the offices of the former Ministry regarding Snorkacks and Wrackspurts. However, when you visit I will show you an interesting file on Nargles which I have found.

Enjoy your school days!

Love, Daddy.

From the Magical Gazette, February 29, 1996.


Aurors purged; dismissed Aurors may apply to join Royal Special Matters Operations Corps

From the British Dental Journal, March 1996


Head and Board of BDA dismissed

Pauline Granger, DDS, appointed Acting President of BDA


From: Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress

To: All Staff

Date: March 4, 1996

As of today's date, Harry Potter (Gryffindor 5) is being attached temporarily to the new Ministry of Special, Magical and Paranormal Matters for an indefinite period. Mr. Potter will continue to take lessons by correspondence, and Lord Lovegood, the new Minister, tells me that any private tutoring that can be provided would be very much appreciated by his office. Volunteers can contact Professor Lupin, the newly appointed head of Gryffindor House.

I would also like to take the time to welcome Professor Lupin back, as well as our old friend Professor Slughorn, who has assumed Professor Snape's position.


From: Executive Committee of the Hogwarts Defence Association

To: All Members

Date: March 4, 1996

The newly constituted DA Executive Committee declares that the unofficial name heretofore used by the Defence Association, "Dumbledore's Army", will no longer be used due to recent revelations.

It further declares that in the ongoing absence of its President, Harry Potter, day-to-day operations of the DA will be overseen by Hermione Granger.

Instruction during DA meetings will henceforth be provided by Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor Remus Lupin and Charms Professor, and acclaimed duellist, Filius Flitwick.


H. Potter, President

H. Granger, General Secretary

N. Longbottom, L. Lovegood, G. Weasley, R. Weasley, ExComm Members

From the Magical Gazette, March 12, 1996


Riddle Henchman Peter Pettigrew was True Culprit

Lord Lovegood today announced the total acquittal of Sirius Black, accused murder and escapee from Azbakan. Appearing in front of cameras with Mr. Black today, Lord Lovegood apologized to Mr. Black for the campaign of harassment against Mr. Black by the former Ministry of Magic...

From Witch Weekly, March 18, 1996


March 20, 1996

To: Lord Xenophilius Lovegood of Ottery St. Catchpole
Minister of Special, Magical and Paranormal Matters
Whitehall, London
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

From: Magnus Knutsson
Minister of Magic and Arcana
Stockholm, Kingdom of Sweden

Dear Lord Lovegood,

It was with great enthusiasm that I read your letter of March 4. I hope you find the shipment brought by my assistant Althea Branting to meet your needs. There are far more available if you need them.

I must say I was surprised by your requests. I apologize for the following, but I have found your predecessors remarkably closed-minded about areas outside their narrow field of competence. I hope this bodes well for a great spirit of cooperation between our two ministries on many matters.

On a personal note, if you ever wish to see what Ms. Branting is bringing in their natural habitat, I would be happy to escort you. I would welcome you bringing your family as well.

With warm felicitations,

Magnus Knutsson

From the Magical Gazette, April 3, 1996


All minions of attainted criminal Tom Riddle incarcerated in Azkaban were given the dementors' kiss yesterday, including former Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge. Riddle, still at large, is expected to retaliate against an innocent target, likely nonmagical. Agents of the Royal Special Matters Operations Corps remain on high alert.

From the Magical Gazette, April 4, 1996


Emergency Powers (Special Matters) Act Remains in Force

From the Magical Gazette, April 12, 1996


Her Majesty's Government today announced the magical peoples of the United Kingdom will henceforth be represented in the Magical Legislative Council, an appointed advisory body which will assume the legislative functions of the late Wizengamot with respect to solely magical matters. The powers of the Magical Legislative Council are set out in the new proclaimed Representation of the People (Special Matters) Act 1996.

Members of the Magical Legislative Council (MMLCs) will be appointed by Her Majesty on the advice of the Privy Council, and will serve for life unless removed by virtue of treason or denaturalization. MMLCs will be appointed to represent nonhuman magical races of the United Kingdom as well.

Lord Lovegood stated to the press that people concerned about the lack of elected members of the MLC would do well to remember that they are represented in the nonmagical House of Commons, and stated that if magical Britons had forgotten this fact over the years was their own fault as much as that of the late Ministry of Magic...



Arthur Weasley, currently of the MSMPM Nonmagical Affairs Department


Dobby, currently working at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, representing Elven interests


Griphook, of Gringotts Bank of London, representing Goblin interests


April 16, 1996

From: Harry Potter
c/o Ministry of Special, Magical and Paranormal Matters
Whitehall, London

To: Hermione Granger
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hogsmeade, Scotland

Dear Hermione,

Luna was right. About everything.


April 30, 1996

To: Sirius Black
12 Grimmauld Place

Dear Sirius,

I hope the tour is going well, and you aren't taking too much advantage of the groupies!

This letter is subject to censorship under the Emergency Powers (Special Matters) Act, so if there's white space, you know why.

I'm doing well. I'm at the MSMPM training facility at [REDACTED]. Mad-Eye sends his best. Training here is really tough, but I'm learning a lot. More than I ever had before. I love Dumbledore like a grandfather still, but I now realize he was a somewhat doddering one whose best days were behind him. If he had remained in charge, I would not be learning nearly as much as I am now. Or I would be dead due to Dolores Bloody Umbridge.

I'm also doing lots of studying for my O.W.L.s when I can. Remus tutors me regularly, and I see Professor Flitwick regularly as well. I have also been tutored by Snape's replacement, Professor Slughorn, who I understand taught you as well. Sluggie's a bit much sometimes, but he seems a decent chap, and embodies a lot of the best qualities of Slytherin. Too bad we didn't see those qualities under Snape's tenure. There may be hope for Hogwarts yet!

Between the studying and the training, I don't have much contact with my friends. The only one I see regularly is Luna, who drops by with her father the Minister frequently. We've become quite close. She's very nice. In a lot of ways.

Her father is interesting. I'm curious what you thought of Mr. Lovegood (I can't think of a friend's dad as Lord Anything!). I see where Luna gets a lot of her personality – Mr. Lovegood is odd, but brilliant. His outside-the-box thinking is highly praised both by the RSMOC agents I've met, including Mad-Eye (they call themselves the "Are-smocks") and the nonmagical Defence Ministry people I've met.

You would not believe how they're planning on taking Riddle down. I can't say anything to you about it, but it will be awesome, once it gets organized.

We're not allowed to call him "You-Know-Who", or "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" around here anymore, by the way. Or "Voldemort". Or "The Dark Lord". Although "Tommy Boy" is popular. I'm trying to get people to call him "Lord Dingus", but it's not taking.

I'm not going to be allowed in the Are-smocks until I'm seventeen, but they do need me, if what the Minister told me is true, and I think it is.

Keep on Marauding!


July 12, 1996

To: Editor of The Quibbler

As a longtime reader of your magazine, I note with dismay the lack of articles on arcanocrytpozoological fauna in recent months. While I appreciate the greater emphasis on current events, I must protest the loss of the articles that drew me to The Quibbler in the first place. With respect, give us our Snorkacks!

Mrs. R. S. Swanson,


November 30, 1996

To: Ron Weasley
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hogsmeade, Scotland

Dear Ron,

Training is done! I'm back at Hogwarts starting in January. It's been a long year, and I'm looking forward to getting stomped by you at Wizard's Chess again, and getting nagged about my bad study habits by Hermione. And being able to spend more time with Luna...

Hope things are good. I hope you've been treating Hermione right.


From the Magical Gazette, December 11, 1996


Seven minions of self-proclaimed 'Dark Lord' Tom Riddle were killed today in a pitched battle today in Truro, Cornwall. Four more were injured but escaped. Two agents of the RSMOC were seriously wounded as well.

Among the dead Riddle minions was Belatrix Lestrange, sister-in-law of Lucius Malfoy...

December 12, 1996

To: Luna Lovegood
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hogsmeade, Scotland

Dear Luna,

I'm o.k. I wasn't among the wounded. I'll tell you all the details over Christmas.

Battle focuses the mind. I was focused on the fight, and I was focused on you. I don't want to left anything unsaid anymore.

I love you more than anything. I can't wait to see you again.

Love, Harry

From: Lord Voldemort

To: All Death Eaters

Re: Revenge

Date: December 12, 1996

We all mourn Bellatrix. A truer servant I could not imagine. We mourn our other dead as well.

We will return this injury tenfold upon the 'Minister' and his thralls. We are planning a Yuletide attack on the Minister's home, as we have reliable information that his blood traitor child will be alone at home on December 23, when Lovegood is at a conference in Canada.

Among the half-blood scum involved in the death of Bellatrix was Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Will-Die. Killing Lovegood's spawn will pay him back as well, from what I hear.

Make it bloody.

Partial Transcript of The News at Nine, Wizarding Wireless Network, December 23, 1996.

GERALD THOMPSON: Good evening. Here is the news.

Minions of terrorist Tom Riddle, the self-proclaimed 'Dark Lord', launched a surprise attack in Ottery St. Catchpole on the home of Lord Lovegood today. Nine of his 'Death Eaters' attacked shortly after noon. They were held off by the wards around the Lovegood home over half an hour while Lord Lovegood's daughter Luna, 15, and fellow Hogwarts student and 'Boy-Who-Lived' Harry Potter, 16 took down five of the Riddle minions. Eventually, neighbours of the Lovegoods, Fred, George (both 18), Ron, 16, and Ginevra Weasley, 15, along with family friend Hermione Granger, 17, joined the battle and the seven young heroes finished off the remaining Riddle thugs.

We spoke with Mr. Potter after the incident.

HARRY POTTER: You never get used to this kind of thing. I've faced Riddle and his thugs before, but this was worse. Fortunately my friends and I have been well-trained, both at Hogwarts and in my case with special training through the MSMPM. We couldn't have done this without all of us.

GT: Agents of the Royal Special Matters Operations Corps arrived on scene shortly thereafter, followed by Lord Lovegood, who portkeyed in from the Commonwealth Magical Ministers Conference in Winnipeg, Canada as soon as he was informed of the attack. He declared that Riddle's terrorism would be stopped, and praised the 'teen heroes' who took down the attackers. He gave special praise to Mr. Potter, who sources say has been seen with Miss Lovegood on several social occasions.

The Weasley children are the children of Mr. Arthur Weasley, MMLC, and Mrs. Molly Weasley, current publisher of The Quibbler, Lord Lovegood's former magazine, held in trust by Mrs. Weasley for Ms. Lovegood. Ms. Granger is the daughter of Dr. Pauline Granger, President of the British Dental Association.

From the New Daily Prophet, January 2, 1997


Special to the New Daily Prophet by Rita Skeeter

Several sources in the aftermath of the horrific attack on Lord Lovegood's home just before Christmas noted that Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, had been seen with Lord Lovegood's daughter Luna, beneficial owner of scandalous magazine 'The Quibbler', on several social occasions. I can let you know, dear readers, that this is an understatement. I have learned that Mr. Potter is in fact the intimate friend of Ms. Lovegood, and they have been together for months. He was enjoying a special rendezvous with the young girl at the time of the attack, although the two sweethearts got a far less pleasant workout than they were hoping for.

Sources are wondering whether Lord Lovegood will insist on an immediate wedding between the two lovebirds, or will allow them to wait for a more fashionable spring wedding.

Longtime readers may remember the name Hermione Granger. Ms. Granger was Mr. Potter's paramour during the Triwizard Tournament of two years ago, over whom he engaged in a heated rivalry with Bulgarian Quidditch hero Victor Krum. Sources say that Ms. Granger was driven to despair by Mr. Potter's relationship with Ms. Lovegood, and has found solace in the arms of Ronald Weasley, son of MMLC Arthur Weasley. It remains to be seen how long the upwardly-mobile Ms. Granger will remain with Mr. Weasley. Who will be the next notch on Ms. Granger's bedpost?

From the Inner Temple Magical Weekly, January 20, 1997

Who's Suing Whom

England and Wales


Ms. Hermione Granger, by her guardian-ad-litem Dr. Theodore Granger, and Mr. Ronald Weasley, by his guardian-ad-litem Molly Weasley, are suing Rita Skeeter and the New Daily Prophet for libel, defamation and loss of reputation, for an article printed January 2 of this year. In the Notice of Libel, Ms. Granger claims the article was part of an ongoing campaign against her by Ms. Skeeter.

Lord Lovegood, Minister of Special, Magical, and Paranormal Matters has called for a retraction of the second paragraph of the article in question, and has informed Ms. Skeeter if it is not retracted by January 23, 1997, he will sue for libel.

Oddly, Mr. Harry Potter and Ms. Luna Lovegood have made no comments on the article personally or through any litigation guardians.

January 20, 1997

To: Sirius Black
c/o Abbey Road Studios

Hi Sirius,

Thanks for the letter. I'm enjoying being back at Hogwarts, although I could do without the extra attention. It's worse than before. At least Malfoy is avoiding me. He's apparently been very subdued since his father was attained.

The Fender Magicaster you gave me for Christmas is awesome. Luna likes hearing me attempt to play it, but I've gotten several dirty looks from my housemates. I've been trying to learn "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin in tribute to you, but other than Dean Thomas, no one here likes Zep. Must be the magical-nonmagical divide.

I won't be needing you to act as my litigation guardian. I'm not suing Skeeter. The parts of her article dealing with me were unfortunately largely accurate, although anything involving Hermione is not, hence her lawsuit.

Mr. Lovegood is not, by the way insisting we get married, so that part of the article is inaccurate. I was rather hoping he would hex me into oblivion for a while there! What an embarassing way for my girlfriend's father to learn we were lovers as well. He knew we were together, of course, but I didn't need for it to be thrown in his face like that.

One more thing to get revenge on Lord Dingus for, I guess!

Mad-Eye would be proud of me, though. Even while Luna and I were "occupied", we were CONSTANTLY VIGILANT! Riddle's gang wasn't too happy about that, though, and I don't recommend firing hexes at murderers when you're starkers.

Other than Death Eater attacks, angry mentors who have military forces at their command, and Philistine roomies who don't like the classics, things are fine. I heard the new single on WWN – I think it's your best yet.



From The Guardian, May 3, 1997


The newly appointed Prime Minister, Mr. Antony Blair, has retained in the new cabinet the Minister Without Portfolio, Lord Lovegood. Lord Lovegood, who was called to the Lords and appointed to Cabinet last year by the outgoing Major government, which was defeated in Thursday's general election, is said to be a nonpartisan expert on what are described as "special matters", and Mr. Blair said it was essential to retain his judgement in the new government. Inside sources on the left of the Labour Party, however, state that certain elements of the Labour Party upset with Mr. Blair's vaunted "Third Way" and "New Labour" positions, described Lord Lovegood as a "demented Tory hack", and said it simply showed how bad things had got in the party since what they describe as the halcyon days of Michael Foot.

July 24, 1997

To: Harry Potter
c/o Luna Lovegood
Lovegood Cottage
Ottery St. Catchpole, Devonshire

From: Lord Lovegood of Ottery St. Catchpole
Minister of Special, Magical, and Paranormal Matters and Minister Without Portfolio
Whitehall, London

Dear Mr. Potter,

The Ministry would like to congratulate you on your imminent majority next week, and formally invite you into the Royal Special Matters Operations Corps Reserve. If you accept, you will need to train with us four weeks in summer and one weekend a month, and may be called for special operations or events. Depending on your performance, we may invite you to join the Regular Corps upon your graduations from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry next June.

With warmest regards,

Lord Lovegood.

P.S. Sorry for the formality, Harry, but these things have to be done a certain way. Don't want to upset the Wrackspurts, after all. I know you're treating Luna as she deserves to be treated, so I don't need to remind you of the vast array of special forces at my disposal. Forces I hope you join.

See you at the Burrow next week. Have a happy birthday, and I may sent you a little something in the floo.


August 4, 1997

To: Gabrielle Delacour
Beauxbatons Academy of Magic
Cagnes-sur-Mer, Alpes-Maritimes
French Republic

From: Lord Lovegood of Ottery St. Catchpole
Minister of Special, Magical, and Paranormal Matters and Minister Without Portfolio
Whitehall, London
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Dear Ms. Delacour,

It was a pleasure meeting you at your sister's wedding to Bill Weasley last Friday. I must admit I cannot remember when I met a more charming or delightful young woman. Mr. Harry Potter, who as you know is a friend of my daughter's and something of a protege of mine, has always spoken highly of you, but I think even his high praises have not done you justice.

After speaking with your father on the matter, I would like to propose that you attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as an exchange student for the coming year. I know you will have to give up the beauty of Beauxbatons, and the wonders of French cuisine, to do so, but I can assure you that Hogwarts offers a top-notch education. The various security issues and other issues that plagued the school the last time you were there have been fixed, I can assure you.

I hope you will consider my offer. One of the things I have tried to do as Minister is improve relations with our friends and allies abroad, especially in your great nation which has helped us so much over the last few years. I think having a bright and lovely young woman such as yourself attend a British school would do wonders to improving the outlook of young British wizards and witches.

You would be entering Hogwarts as a first year student, and subject to the Sorting, but I assure you it is not scary, and whichever house you end up in you will make lifelong friends. My daughter Luna, who you met at the wedding, is a sixth-year student and will be happy to help you in any way she can.

With warmest regards,

Xenophilius Lovegood

P.S. Your father told me you liked my yellow robes I wore to the wedding. Not the usual attire for a government minister, I admit, but I've always thought that sunny robes bring happiness and joy to the start of a marriage, and I was attending as a family friend rather than a functionary. I'm glad you liked them.

February 15, 1998

To: Luna Lovegood
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy
Hogsmeade, Scotland

Dear Luna,

Looks like I won't be coming back from my training weekend quite yet. I'm sure your father has told you.

I'm sorry I'll be missing your 17th birthday on Thursday – I had some wonderful plans. We'll celebrate when I'm back.

I miss you every hours I'm away from you, but hopefully this will all be over soon.

Love you and stay safe.



February 21, 1998

To: Molly Weasely
The Quibbler
Ottery St. Catchpole, Devonshire

Dear Molly,

Thank you for the birthday gift – it was lovely, and is the coziest sweater I own.

Even though my shares in The Quibbler are now in my name, I would like you to stay on as editor. I won't be able to do anything until I graduate, and I still need to learn the trade.

I may want to submit stories from time to time though.

Everyone here sends their love to you.


From the Magical Gazette, March 20, 1998, Special edition


105 Riddle Henchmen, 12 RSMOC Agents among dead after fierce fighting



From the Daily Mail, March 21, 1998


Residents fear for Property Values

From the Weekly World News, March 24, 1998



From The Quibbler, Special edition, March 24, 1998


The true story of the famous victory in the Inner Hebrides

Special to The Quibbler by Luna Lovegood

In an exclusive interview with this reporter, friend of The Quibbler Harry Potter, the famous Boy-Who-Lived, tells all about last week's famous daylight takedown of the terrorist Tom Riddle.

LUNA LOVEGOOD: In the interests of full discloure, I should confirm on the record that we are involved romantically, and my father is the Minister of Special, Magical and Paranormal Matters.

HARRY POTTER: I'm sure longtime readers are aware of that.

LL: So what can you tell us about the battle? Who was involved in it?

HP: There was a force of some 80 RSMOC agents, in addition to small squads provided by our goblin and elvish friends.

LL: I understand that magical creatures were involved as well.

HP: Yes, two dozen of us rode thestrals into the attack, and a squad of Heliopaths that remained from Cornelius Fudge's tenure atop the former Ministry were involved as well. We unleashed Wrackspurts upon the enemy to confuse them and "fuzzy their brains". We also had artillery support from the Royal Navy, who were unaware of the true nature of the operation, and thought it was a live-fire training exercise.

LL: They say you personally took down Riddle.

HP: That's true, although I wouldn't have been able to without the whole team. Riddle believed he had to kill me personally. He believed in a prophecy which said one of us must kill the other, and I would win with a power the "Dark Lord knew not".

LL: Was that true? And if so, what was the power?

HP: It was. Riddle was killed not by my wand, or spells or hexes, but by being trampled by a heard of creatures at my command.

LL: What creatures?

HP: Crumple-Horned Snorkacks.


From the private diary of Albus Dumbledore

March 25, 1998

Snorkacks? Perhaps I should have retired years before.

From the London Gazette, June 5, 1998



Lord Lovegood of Ottery St. Catchpole – Officer of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, for services in Special Matters to the Realm


Harry James Potter – Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Garter – for recent heroic services in Special Matters, ensuring the safety of the Realm and all its people


From the Magical Gazette, June 5, 1998


Lord Lovegood, Harry Potter awarded Order of Merlin, 1st Class

Harry Potter also made (nonmagical) Knight of the Garter

From HELLO!, June 15, 1998


HELLO! Brings you pictures of Britain's newest "it couple", Sir Harry Potter, KG, and his longtime lady love, Luna Lovegood, the magazine owner and daughter of Minister Without Portfolio, Lord Phil Lovegood, OBE. Sir Harry and Luna were out on the town in London, enjoying the shopping in our swinging capital. HELLO! asks, watching these two lovebird, can wedding bells be far behind?

From Witch Weekly, July 4, 1998


We see what Sir Harry's Main Squeeze has to tell young witches

Inside: Fruity Fashion – Luna L. talks about her taste in jewelry

July 15, 1998

To: Clarenceux King of Arms
College of Arms

From: Garter Principal King of Arms
College of Arms

Blazon of Sir Harry James Potter, KG:

Arms: Gules a Snorkack [see below] rampant or, armed azure

Supporters: Dexter, a Nargle [see below] rampant or; Sinister, an owl rampant guardant argent

Personal Note:

David, see the attached for description of a "Nargle" and "Snorkack". Some newfangled heraldic beasts, I gather. I tried to suggest a nice simple griffon or yale, but Sir Harry would have none of it, and I got a tersely worded note from the Palace suggesting that I agree to the new beasts. So no arguing – I've tried already.

On another note, I am informed by Lord Lovegood that we should prepare an impalement of Sir Harry's arms with that of Lord Lovegood (lozengy azure and or, over all a waxing crescent moon argent fimbriated sable) differenced by a label. Lord Lovegood says Sir Harry's happy day is scheduled for October 24, 1998.



(Author's Note: Thanks to anyone who made it through this. Apologies for the self-indulgence, but I had to write it, it wouldn't let me not do so. I'm not familiar with the criminal law of England and Wales, but I am with that of Canada, and we got our crimes of alarming Her Majesty, spreading false news (which has been ruled unconstitutional here), and unlawful drilling (training of troops) from them. No idea if they still existed in 1996-1998 in England.

I also apologize for the reference to P'Lod (for those not in the know, see wikipedia ). In a fic with a heavy empasis on Xeno Lovegood, I felt he was a natural fit.

- Arpad Hrunta )